Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Week Three of College

Nope, this isn't a post about how long it took me to get my hands on some boobies during my freshman year, it's the long-awaited post of my football picks for Saturday. And after going 6-1 last weekend, I feel like I've got to prove that it wasn't a fluke.

When I first saw the lines on Monday afternoon, I figured that this was going to be a very hard week. Tennessee is inconsistent. LSU/Auburn? Coin flip, as far as I'm concerned. Is Notre Dame riding high on their Penn State beat-down, or did they set themselves up for their own letdown? And oh by the way, besides the Golden Domers and Ohio State, there's that team out in L.A. that everyone else seems to have forgotten about.

Yep, it's gonna be tough.

I doubt I'll repeat last week's success, but this is the best I can come up with:

1) Georgia -18 over U.A.B. Quarterback? We don't need no stinkin' quarterback!

2) Louisville -5 over Miami. Miami isn't the Miami of old--no more swagger, and Louisville, even without Michael Bush, looks amazing. They may be BCS bound. By the way, this is my double-counting Pick of the Week.

3) Texas -31 over Rice. Yep, they're mad about the ass-whooping they took from the Buckeyes, and believe that if they want a shot at a BCS bowl, they're going to have to win the rest of their games by 50+ points. Pity the hapless Owls.

4) Vanderbilt +6 over Arkansas. The Commies are 2-0 against the spread so far, and always seem to play SEC opponents tough (See last weeks game vs. Alabama). Running the table against the spread will land them a berth in the Degenerate Gamblers Bowl out here in Vegas this December. And that paragon of virtue, ESPN, won't say a word about it. In fact, you never heard about it. Let's just move along.

5) Florida State -4 over Clemson. Isn't this another Bowden bowl? I'm going with the old man.

6) Arizona State -10 over Colorado. And checking with the Department of Statistics That I Pulled Out Of My Ass, I see that the Sun Devils are 17-0 against the spread versus teams whose mascots can take a dump on the field during pregame warmups. (And I'm also counting that 1997 game against the Huskers, since most Nebraska fans aren't familiar with indoor plumbing).

Those are the official picks I submitted to my pool, but the more I think about it, the more I want to take my winnings from last weekend and bet on USC to cover the -18.5 pts against Nebraska. And not that I would put money on it, but if I had to, I'd pick Auburn to cover against LSU.


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