Sunday, January 30, 2005

Bring out the Gimp!

I'm shuffling around my house like Ozzy Osbourne today. Somehow I twisted my back this weekend and standing up is quite painful, not to mention walking. In fact, I wait until I'm GOOD and ready to even go to the bathroom.

If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis...

Actually, is hasn't gotten to that point yet, and I'm feeling better this evening than I was yesterday. It's happened to me before--most recently about three years ago--so I'm sure I'll get over it before having to resort to Miyagi sticking needles in me. I should be fine by tomorrow, but I just don't want it to happen again for awhile--I've got a truck to load and a cross-country drive to make in a couple of weeks.

Oh, and to make things worse, I was at Kroger this afternoon buying a few groceries. After I loaded my purchases into the trunk, I went to put the cart back in the corral instead of leaving it there to scratch somebody else's car. The lot attendant was out gathering up a few more and when I went to add mine to her train she picked it up to shift it and she dropped it straight down on my pinky toe! I was wearing topsiders that offered no protection from falling objects, and the pain felt like I was being punished for disobeying the law of gravity or something.

Damn Newton and his enforcer thugs.

I think a few splashes of rum might ease the pain.

Friday, January 28, 2005

I Hate Cold Weather

Good grief...All of middle Tennessee is under a severe winter storm warning tonight. It's raining/sleeting/snowing and the temperature outside is not at all conducive to hanging out under a palm tree and drinking rum. It's time to go to my happy place.

Waitress, I need two more boat drinks!

That is all. Now go outside and shovel the driveway.

Another Sabbatical

Here we are at the tail end of January 2005, and I find myself with lots of free time on my hands. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my situation, it goes like this: Due to a merger/takeover by a company better run than the one where I was employed, I find myself laid off from the brokerage industry for the second time in four years.

It’s ok, though. I’m getting a generous severance package and I had grown extremely bored with watching little red and green numbers flash at me all day and taking trades from people barely qualified to cook my burger. No offense to you food service types out there, but some ‘financial advisors’ I’ve dealt with were scarier than a Saudi flight crew after a night of lap dances.

Anyhow, my last day of work was December 31st, so I’ve had lots of free time on my hands this month. No alarm clocks, no deadlines, and no paperwork. In fact, I haven’t even filled up my gas tank since New Years Eve. Another benefit of having no place important to go—I lost my wristwatch, but didn’t even notice for two weeks!

As much as I was looking forward to the time off (because I got to the point of dreading sitting in my boring office all day), sitting at home almost feels like a jail cell now. I’m trying to save my cash, so I’m not out shopping, running around, or eating out at restaurants. I’ve read everything I can get my hands on, figured my budget over and over again, made lists, and now all I do is surf the net and play solitaire all day. I’d watch television, but even though I’ve got about 200 channels available, there’s rarely anything worth watching. Besides, all the favorite channels—ESPN, History Channel, Discovery Channel, Travel Channel, Food Network—they all repeat their programming every three hours. So I’m extremely bored. And I still have three weeks to pack my stuff.

On the bright side, I talked to my soon-to-be new roommate again last night. Turns out she used to be a stripper.

I can’t wait to get to Vegas.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Big Pimpin'

I drive a ghetto-sled. It's a big green Lincoln Continental thats on the far side of 100,000 miles. It's a comfortable car and runs great, and I *love* not having a car payment. However, there are a few little things that need some attention. My air conditioner compressor died in September, but luckily it's been cold since then and it hasn't been an issue. But I'm moving back to the desert next month, so the repair bill is looming.

The most interesting quirk of my pimp-mobil is the air-ride system. It has a mind of it's own. Sometimes the car wants to be a lowrider, sometimes it wants to be a hot rod--all jacked up in back and hugging the pavement up front. The downside to this is that I have absolutely no control over it. I'll be driving along just fine, then I'll hear a beep, see the idiot light come on, and suddenly I feel like I'm driving two-ton pickup truck over a washboard road instead of a luxury sedan trimmed in fine Corinthian leather.

It's rather embarrassing driving it through the ghetto to get to my house, too. The homeys on the corner must think I'm mocking them or something. But since it's not a true low-rider, they think of me the same way the popular kids with the OP shirts in high school did when I tried to sit at their lunch table in my Kmart Hobie.

I'm finally getting it fixed next week, but I don't know which one will be the bigger number--the repair bill or the Blue Book value.


A new Hurricane Mikey...

Due to expense and technical issues, I'm going to take down the previous site and give Blogger a try. This just seems so much easier to make updated posts with. I'm sure there are going to be plenty of limitations and frustrations, but for now, I think this is the way I want to go. In the meantime, once the servers change over, the old address should forward to this site.

We shall see.

On the news front, I start packing for my Vegas adventure tomorrow. I've got the wardrobe boxes from the Uhaul store ready to go--I can't wait to put away all of my winter clothes for good! Of course I don't leave for another month, but I don't want to forget anything.