The Longest Yard

Enough already!

Man, I have just about had it. I've been listening to this shit for almost six years and it's time to set the record straight.

I'm talking about Super Bowl XXXIV, where the RAMS defeated the Flaming Thumbtacks of Tennessee, 23-16. That's a seven point deficit, for the math-impaired out there, and the game ended when Mike Jones tackled Kevin Dyson on the one-yard line as time expired. The Titans came up one yard short.

Ballgame.

But what irritates the hell out of me is that all of these sportscasters for the past six years keep saying that the Titans 'fell one yard short of winning the whole thing'. The clowns on ESPN are especially guilty.

And that is complete and utter bullshit.

They came one yard short of being one point behind with 0:00 left on the clock. Touchdowns are only worth six points, folks, and do think for a moment that Coach Porn 'Stache, Jeff Fisher, would've gone for two with the Lombardi trophy on the line? Hell no, he doesn't have the sack for that.

There would've been an extra-point kicked, the game would've gone into overtime, and who the hell knows what would've happened then. The whole thing could've been decided on a coin-flip.

So please, knock it off with the whole myth of the Titans falling one yard short of winning the Super Bowl. It's even been perpetuated by Helen Hunt in that movie Castaway. And since the Titans are all over the news this week because Billy Volek had the good sense to get the hell off of such a losing team, everyone keeps bringing up their almost win failure in the Super Bowl.

Deal with it, Titans fans. You lost. And even if Dyson would've gotten his skinny ass in the end zone, it doesn't mean jack shit.

You were much further than one yard away from winning. I mean, Kurt Warner sold his soul to the Devil for that season. The Devil had to deliver.

The next person that says otherwise in my presence gets a free cockpunch.

Mikey

PS. That photo at the top of the post, to long-suffering Rams fans, says 'Victory' almost as much as the Marines raising the flag on Iwo Jima.