Dirty Hippies

If being a sports-picking whiz got Lefty Rosenthal's car blown up, well... the Dakota's not in danger.

--Doc Al


Yep, it seems that everyone is already in mid-season form. The problem with public disclosure of my mad handicapping skillz is that it leaves me open to the slings and arrows of all of the amateur comedians out there. A smaller man might take it as a sign to keep his yap shut, but you know that's not my style. I'm fully prepared to spend the week 'assuming the position'.

Thank you sir, may I have another!

So yeah, I went 1-for-7 this weekend in the college football pool (the Cal/Tenn game counted as two), but Notre Dame pretty much screwed everyone, and it's only Week One, so all hope is not lost. But I'm fairly certain that as far as the standings are concerned, I'm living in the basement like some 30-year-old Star Trek geek at his parents house.

But looking back at my picks, I have to shake my head and wonder What the f*ck was I thinking? Picking Cal over Tennessee? I had to feel fairly confident because Cal was getting a point and a half when the line opened last week, and by the time Friday night rolled around, Tennessee was a two-point underdog. I've never had a line move in my favor, so I thought I was golden. But as Chris Berman likes to say, *That's* why they play the game.

Of course, common sense had totally escaped me when I made my picks. I mean, in any contest between Hippies and Hillbillies, you should take the Hillbillies every time--especially when the country boys have the home-field advantage. I don't know what I was thinking.

And Reverend Dave was right--Alabama had just enough trouble with the Rainbow Warriors that they couldn't cover, either.

Only lowly Vanderbilt, the perennial doormat of that brick house known as the SEC, was good enough to cover against Michigan, keeping me from getting the goose egg. Thank you, Commodores!

But the best thing about stinking up the joint in week 1 is that it's behind me, and week 2 is just around the corner offering me a shot at redemption. I may be in the basement, but I can see the stairs from here.

Mikey