Thursday, December 22, 2005

More Headlines

Ok gang...since I'm not feeling particularly inspired this afternoon, I'm just going to dive into the hard drive and post more of my favorite headlines from Remember, these headlines were linked to actual news stories. Enjoy!

White Castle buys Waste Management. The circle is now complete.

German tourists tape plane together in midflight. May be asked to join next shuttle mission.

Former Ben & Jerry's CFO pleads guilty to embezzlement, expects to receive continuous supply of Chubby Hubby from cellmate.

Bob Denver and John Denver now have two things in common. So long little buddy.

Death-row inmate bluffs his way out of jail. I mean, how often do you look at a man's shoes?

Indiana students design edible lunar rover. That means that something up there must be able to eat it.

For the first time since 1987, gold sells for more than $500 an ounce. Makers of printer ink remain unimpressed.

Investors consider buying Knight Ridder for $4 billion. That's a lot of cash, even if the car does talk.

Upcoming Charles and Camilla TV movie to omit sex scenes, citing bestiality concerns.

Record for shortest ambulance chase set when car smashes into personal-injury attorneys' office.

Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratory can't account for 600 pounds of plutonium. Authorities are searching for an eccentric, wild-haired doctor driving a silver DeLorean with his spunky teenage buddy.

Monica Seles to take a stab at returning to professional tennis.

Honda's ASIMO robot now capable of menial office tasks like greeting visitors, making coffee, finding Sarah Connor.

Pope to abolish Limbo; Electric Slide, Macarena also on the chopping block.

The only thing worse than not having indoor plumbing is having relatives that use the outhouse for target practice.

When all you have is an ax, every ATM looks like a tree.

Man invents "solar purse" which can be used to power "small electronics." No word on what kind of small electronic items might be in a woman's purse.

Luther Vandross passes away from the Here and Now.

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