Friday, September 18, 2009


I shall never again call my new piece of furniture a 'sidebar'. First of all, it sounds kind of uppity, befitting a person of a much higher social standing, like my friend Hoya. She'd own a sidebar. A bidet. Or a divan. Or a valise. Not me--I'm not *that* far removed from the trailer park.

And second of all, it sounds too much like 'sidecar', which is a wussy way to ride a motorcycle. And the only sidecars you can think of off the top of your head is the one in that annoying AT&T commercial with Bill Curtis or the documentary footage of the Nazis rolling into Poland at the beginning of WWII. Otherwise, the only place you'll find them is in Disney movies. And don't forget about the sidecar cocktail--it's a lot like a margarita, but made with brandy instead of tequila--again, uppity.

So therefore, my new expensive piece of furniture that's on it's way shall not be referred to as a sidebar. It shall simply be known, from this point forward, as 'the booze cabinet'.

That is all.


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