Card Dead

Everybody that has played Hold-em for any length of time knows that statistically, you can expect to be dealt pocket Aces once every 220 hands. What I didn't know was what the odds are for how often you should expect to see any pair in the hole. I looked it up this morning, and surprisingly, they're pretty high -- 16:1.

I played poker for almost six hours last night, and I got exactly four pocket pairs the entire time. And I know I was dealt in way more than 64 times. Yep, I was the textbook example of being absolutely card dead for the entire session. I got pocket Aces once, and I won with them, and my other pairs were Jacks (flop came out King-Queen-Five, and I was on the button with two bets in front of me, so I knew I was beat), Sevens, and Deuces, all of which lost.

I actually started off very well, playing a little tighter than I normally do, and after the first hour or so, I was up $140. But I witnessed a never-ending parade of suckouts, particularly with one guy I played against a couple of weeks ago. That night, he must've left $400 on the table, so when he sat down at my table last night, I was lickin' my chops to get at his bankroll. And he played almost every flop and just got hit by damn near every card in the deck, raking in pot after pot with absolutely junk cards.

Sometimes life just ain't fair.

After one particularly ridiculous hand, I decided to take a break and get some dinner while was was still up $40 for the session. I just went over to the food court and got a steak sandwich, which I was enjoying when I heard that familiar voice over the din of the crowd -- Cocktails... Drinks... Cocktails...

Yep, it was Kimmy, working the slot section next to the food court. She's usually off on Fridays, but had changed days with one of the other gals. So when she saw me, she came over to chat for a few minutes, so that was a nice surprise.

That ended up being pretty much the highlight of the night for me, as once I got back, I just got ground to a pulp for a couple of hours, losing my blinds. I swear I must've played ten hands in two hours, not catching a thing. I finally gave up when my flopped straight got sabotaged with four flush cards on the board, calling it a night after donating almost a hundred bucks to the donkey fund.

I guess everyone has nights like that, but damn, talk about a statistical anomaly -- four pairs in six hours?

Anyhow... The main purpose of my visit to the poker room last night was not to get a hundred-dollar lesson in statistics or spend a few minutes of blissful conversation with my favorite lady. I actually went down there to check my schedule for next week.

When I first got there, Greg, the manager, said he wanted to talk to me for a few minutes. Basically, he didn't have me on the schedule because he thought I was making a foolish decision by giving up my full-time job. He just assumed that I was on extra-board in the pit, and couldn't understand why I'd go from full-time to part-time.

So I just asked him straight up, Do you want me to work here in the poker room?

He said Yes, but...

I cut him off and put all my cards on the table, so to speak. I said that I'd been looking for a poker job for sometime and had seriously thought about quitting my job altogether when this opportunity came along. Which is the absolute truth, but I just never shared it with anyone, except for Kimmy--she has been encouraging me to find something better for quite awhile. She knew I was getting a little tired of the ups and downs and some of the bullshiat that goes on in the pit, and most of our conversations in the past month or so revolved around that topic. Hell, that night we went out for my birthday, we spent damn near two hours straight talking about it...

Another factor which played into my decision was that according to my records, playing poker has become a positive-expectation activity for me this year, and I'm averaging over $400 in profit per month for 2008. Basically, that's a tank of gas, all my utility bills, and a hundred bucks worth of groceries I'm earning while playing every month--so my hobby is working out to be a decent part-time job.

Anyhow, Greg thought I'd be giving up quite a bit of money, but I did two things-- I asked him how many nights he was planning on having me on the schedule, and he told me that it'd probably be four nights a week. I then pulled out my phone and showed him the text message I'd gotten earlier from one of the gals I worked with in the pit--she's been sending me the numbers all week of what my vacation toke share was each night. And for Thursday night, we got a whopping $76 for eight hours of work--yep, that's right, the absolute worst night of tokes I've ever seen since I've been working there. That's like Boulder highway break-in money.

Once he saw that, he said something like, Oh, I see what you mean... I'll have your schedule for you in just a few minutes, and that was the end of that conversation. I am now a permanent member of the poker room staff.

So I bought a rack of white and sat down in a game, and ten minutes later, he brought me over a post-it note with my schedule written on it. I'm On-Call on Monday, but then have four other nights scheduled. One night is a weird 11-7 graveyard shift, but I don't even care at this point--I know I'll make my money.

And I won't have to deal with the fleas in the pit, either.

Mikey