Wednesday, June 03, 2009

I Fought the Law, And the Law Won. Again.

They found me! I don't know how, but they found me...

Yep, I'm kinda feeling like Doc Brown just about the time the Libyans in the VW bus rounded the corner into Twin Pines Lone Pine Mall.

Those bastards found me.

Which bastards am I referring to? Those greedy bastards in Arizona who operate the photo-radar cameras all along the freeways in Phoenix, that's who. Apparently, that Friday morning that I was making the 60-mile trek from Ed W's house to Eddie B's house, I was doing 68 mph on I-17, which is a no-no. I saw the flash, but figured I could outrun the bureaucracy and get moved long before they tracked me down. No such luck.

So when I went over to fetch the bed and the last of my mail at the old house on Monday, there was an envelope from the Arizona Department of Citizen Shakedowns Public Safety that included a couple of nice photos of me speeding down the freeway. It looks like my lead foot is gonna cost me $181. Oh, and let's not forget about the protection money I have to pay to the City of Henderson for turning right onto Sunset Road at a stoplight, either.

Damn The Man!

Speaking of mail, there was an amazing coincidence today. I was up puttering around the house and saw that Starz was broadcasting Stripes this morning. So of course I wasted an hour or so in front of the TV watching that. Once I finally got motivated enough to get out and run some errands, the first thing I did was stop by and check my mailbox for the first time. Not surprisingly, there was already a bill from Cox Cable in there, but here's the thing that cracked me up.

You know how the mailman tapes the last name of the primary resident in the mailboxes whenever there is a large group of them all in the same place? Well, the previous resident's name was still taped in the box and apparently, the last name of the person who lived in this unit before me was.... Get ready for it...


Yep, the Big Toe himself used to live here! That's almost as cool as buying Jon Voight's used Le Baron...

Anyhow, that was pretty much the most interesting thing that happened to me today. After that, I ran to the bank and to the grocery store. And that was my third trip to the grocery store this week. I'm excited to be able to use a kitchen again! Just this morning I cooked eggs for the first time in a year. I'm not kidding. It's been a year since I cooked eggs for breakfast.

Late last night, once I got done playing cards (yeah, I lost in spectacular fashion...), I hit the WalMart for a few other things. I'd been wanting to make toast for breakfast, but apparently, I'd forgotten that I'd gotten rid of my old toaster oven when I packed up all the kitchen stuff a year ago (it was old and on it's last legs anyways). So before I came home last night, I bought a new Black & Decker toaster oven, along with some other kitchen stuff (cookie sheets, another spatula, a trash can, and more groceries). So this morning, in addition to cooking eggs, I also got to have some English muffins with real butter and honey. Oh hell yeah. Sure beats the hell out of that crap in the employee dining room.

And I prefer a toaster oven over a microwave, anyways. I almost never use a microwave except to make popcorn or nuke leftovers. And I've made it my entire life without ever buying a Hot Pocket, a streak that shall remain intact. Besides, leftover pizza in the microwave sucks. In the toaster oven, it's *much* better. Even with canned soup or chili--I prefer to use the stove. So no, my new apartment does not have a microwave, and I doubt that I'll buy one, either. But I'll use that toaster oven almost every day.

That's the news from here. I wish there were more to report, but I'm happily enjoying a dull day where I don't have to be anywhere and I don't have to move any furniture or boxes. I may do a load of laundry and unpack a few things, but chances are that I'm gonna just chill out with a good book and some scurvy medicine for the balance of the afternoon.


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