Today has been the longest and worst day of my entire Vegas experience. After several weeks of personal triumph in many areas of my life, I took a soul-crushing setback last night that damn near killed me.
Long story short, around 11:00 o'clock last night, the Future Mrs dropped a bomb on me that I couldn't recover from. It got me so bad, and I felt so sick, that I left work immediately. After a long sleepless night of emails, text messages, phone calls, missed connections, more phone calls, weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and a long difficult conversation this afternoon, the bottom line is that her and I will never be a 'we'.
We're gonna try and remain friends, at least that's what we told each other, and I'd hate to not have her in my life at all, but these next couple of weeks will be especially difficult. And on the positive side, at least this happened before there was huge emotional attachment, so I avoided getting my heart broken. Too badly.
The worst thing about this whole situation is that this is the first time in a very long time that I've felt this strongly about anyone. At least when I was dating Sticky, I knew from the get-go that it was destined to be a train wreck. With Kimmy (that's her name by the way--no need to be anonymous anymore), I always felt like she was something special and worth putting in the effort for. She tells me that she's not worth it, but I never believed it for a second. She is a quality woman, and anybody would be lucky to have her, baggage or no.
But as much as I'd like to move on, I've still got those five stages of grief to deal with, and tonight my plan is to get blind stinking drunk and pass out on my floor. I'm already well beyond Denial and Anger, I skipped eight over Bargaining, and I'm neck deep in Depression right now. Acceptance is still a few weeks away.
Mikey
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