Red Flags

After yesterday's post-fest, I was so sleepy that I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I finally went back to bed at some point, and slept until 3:30 or so in the afternoon. I was still groggy as hell, and basically just shuffled out to the living room and parked my ass in front of the TV, paring down all the crap on the DVR. Since it was mostly documentaries, I feel much smarter now.

I had an appointment at six o'clock to go see another house that sounded fairly promising, and even though I think I've settled on the Ultimate Male Retreat down the street from here, my potential new roommate is traveling and has no access to the email I sent him telling him that I'd like to take the room. So that deal isn't quite closed yet, as I know he still has another person to show it to next week (but told me to call him as soon as I finished looking at my other places).

Anyhow, I've been corresponding quite a bit with the owner of the house I went to look at last night--we've emailed back and forth all week, several times per day, and we talked on the phone Tuesday night for over a half an hour. Yes--it is a woman, looking for a male roommate.

So it goes without saying that we've kind of 'clicked' over the course of this past week, and I was really looking forward to meeting her. I found myself taking a shower and shaving before I left, and also wearing a decent shirt with buttons on it instead of a t-shirt that says something clever like I Beat Anorexia on it... Which was a bit odd because when I went to look at the other place, I just rolled out of bed, splashed some water on my face, swigged some Listerine, and shuffled off to see the house wearing swim trunks and my ratty Nike slide sandals that Angy hates so much.

But it was the application of the Tag Body Spray before walking out the door where I had to tell myself Dude--chill. You're not going on a date, you're going to look at a house!

It took me about 2o minutes to drive over to the place, and yeah, it's still in Henderson, but it is sooooo frickin' far away from anything convenient. It's located in Anthem Highlands, way the hell up on the side of a mountain, with no freeway access anywhere near. Basically it's about nine miles further from work, all uphill, and it's all surface streets with artificially low speed limits (gotta love them 'master planned' communities). I didn't like that at all.

But when I got there, well, the neighborhood was very nice and upscale. So, first impressions were good. I knocked on the door, and her roommate that I would be replacing answered, so I chilled in the living room for a moment. She came down the stairs a minute later and well, yeah, I found her to be rather attractive.

Oh boy...

So, we shook hands, acknowledged that it was nice to finally meet, and she gave me the grand tour. The first floor was nice, as expected with a newer home, and I saw the first of her critters outside the sliding door--two so-ugly-they're-cute puglets. Normally I hate hate hate small dogs, but I'm talking about yappy shiat like Pomeranians. Pugs are cool, though. Then I saw the first of her cats, whose name I can't remember, but basically he was a special-needs kitty and had the powder room to himself.

Anyhow, after that, we went upstairs and she showed me the facilities--I'd have my own bathroom, and a really nice bedroom with plenty of space. (And a ceiling fan--another plus!). There was a nice spacious office/loft, the master bedroom, and another bedroom that was used for her 'kids'--two other cats lived in there. Now I don't mind cats--I've always had them as pets, and absolutely prefer them over small dogs. And they're a lazy man's pet, too--they almost take care of themselves. And the rule is, if you're gonna get one cat, get two--the expense is minimal and they keep each other entertained. So two cats is no problem at all. But we were up to three so far.

And one of the cats, a old Maine Coon, just took to me like I was his long-lost momma, and climbed up on me and wouldn't let go for anything. Clearly, he wanted me to move in.

Once the tour was done, we went back downstairs to talk, and I learned that she actually had five cats--two more that hadn't made an appearance yet.

Oooookaaaayyyy.

Seven critters was a lot. Maybe too much. But still, the place was nice, the price was right, and well, I was likin' the everything but the drive and the number of animals. But then we started talking and well, I think she needs a roommate more than she wants one. She's in the real estate biz and is struggling mightily right now. I know what that's like, but damn, I just don't need to add the potential of someone having to sell the house I'm living in to the list of obstacles to overcome in my life.

But we talked for quite awhile, but I think she could tell that she was losing me before I left. I promised to call her back later in the week and we said goodbye. Now, I like the house, but there were just too many cons and not enough pros. The biggest one, of course, was that neither one of us needs the tension that would come from me being attracted to my roommate. That wouldn't be a healthy living situation at all, so driving away, I decided that I just couldn't live there.

I felt much better when I came home, but now I really want to get in touch with that other guy right away.

I was actually gone longer than I anticipated, but as soon as I got back to the Man Cave, I figured I could use a drink, maybe to help me figure out a way to say "Sorry, I'm not interested in the house but hey, you wanna go out sometime?". I got a feeling that there's no way to pull that one off delicately.

Not wanting to get bombed, but wanting to use the good stuff in my drink, I improvised. I had a half gallon of vanilla ice cream hanging out in the back of my freezer, so I broke out the blender, added some milk, ice cubes, ice cream, two shots of Bailey's, and a splash of Peppermint Schnapps.

Oh hell yeah -- Now that's what I call a milkshake! I ended up drinking the whole pitcher.

It tasted great and quenched my thirst, but it didn't really give much of a buzz. Oh well, it's not like I can't adjust the recipe. A couple of hours later, having not eaten all day, I was craving Chinese food. So I ordered some cashew chicken, fried rice, egg rolls, and crab Rangoon. Man, it sure hit the spot, but I couldn't eat half of it. So lunch is taken care of for today.

Anyhow, it wouldn't be Chinese food without the fortune cookie, and I this is what mine said:

You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.

Not sure if it's good or bad, but it sure seems like they nailed it with that one today.

Mikey