Friday, May 09, 2008

A Roller Coaster Week

Yes, yes, I'm still alive--you can call off the search parties. There is no bloated corpse hanging in my closet, and I'm not face down in the gutter somewhere off of east Fremont...

Sorry for the lack of updates and the non-responses to all of the emails, but I've been away from the computer for a couple of days.

Back on Tuesday, I met Dave P for lunch at Grimaldi's, which was excellent, but our meal was punctuated by a couple of phone calls from the former Future Mrs and that bit of drama, so it wasn't nearly as enjoyable as it could've been. But Dave P gave the food a thumbs up, saying it was almost as good as he can get back east... And as a bonus, he brought me a nice birthday gift--a bottle of Appleton's rum. Gotta love that!

The rest of the day basically sucked-- but you've already heard about that...

My plan on Tuesday night was to take my semi-depressed, unshaven, unkempt, and slightly besotted ass out to the Silverton and participate once again in my weekly poker ritual. But earlier in the evening, I'd gotten an email from one of my 'lurkers' who said she was in town and wanted to buy me a drink, and sent along her cell number. I called it, no answer, left a message, and then just chilled out in front of the TV awhile longer. Not hearing back, I didn't bother to shave or put on decent clothes before heading out to the casino. I called again an hour later, leaving a message that I was going to play poker and to just give me a call some other time.

I stopped at the gas station on the corner to hit the ATM, and just as I took out the cash, my phone was buzzing. It was my lurker friend, "Ali", asking where I was.

So, I changed plans, and instead of going to the Silverton, I turned around, went back home, put on some decent clothes, and headed down to New York New York to meet Ali for cocktails. I found her about twenty minutes later, a curly-headed hippie chick sitting alone at the lobby bar playing video poker and drinking Captain and diet Coke.

We had a round or two of cocktails and get-to-know ya banter before she asked me to teach her to play Pai Gow. So off to the pit we went. Right now, NYNY is under serious construction. The Big Apple Bar in front--gone. Half the main pit--gone. All the trees that give it the 'Central Park' vibe--will be gone within the next couple of weeks. So basically, the casino was dead, and we had the table to ourselves for a bit. But then another drunken couple sat down with us, and the four of us laughed our asses off for almost two hours.

We drank several rounds, keeping the cocktail waitress busy, and at some point I gave the lady sitting on the other side of me the Ketel One test when she ordered it. Nope, she couldn't spell it either, which amused her husband to no end.

Anyhow, once the other couple called it a night, we figured the table was going to lose it's fun vibe, so we colored up and called it quits too. And believe it or not, I was actually up $140. Not too bad!

Ali wanted to go see Rob at his new joint, but we were both pretty hammered, so we left the truck in the valet and cabbed it down to Rob's casino. We wandered a bit before we found him on an 8-deck blackjack game, but his table was full, so we couldn't join him. We were content to watch, and it took him almost ten minutes before he looked up and noticed us standing there. I asked him when his break was, but he said he had another 45 minutes on the table.

So we bailed.

Wandering aimlessly along the Strip, we decided to go to the Imperial Palace and play some craps. Going back in that place after March Madness was almost like returning to the scene of the crime, and I had to grin a little bit, thinking about glow sticks, room service club sandies, and epic beat downs at the poker table...

But we found a couple of spots at the dice table and played for about a half hour, both of us making a small profit before giving up. The rank smell in that place was getting to us, so we wanted to leave.

Since I was flush with house money, I offered to buy breakfast. She accepted, and it was off to the Peppermill. She'd never been there before, and was duly impressed. No chicken fried steak this time--I went with French toast, and she had pancakes. Of course we couldn't eat it all, and once we paid the tab, we went back to the Fireside lounge to chill out and enjoy the old school vibe. Oh, and to watch the hookers, too. There were a bunch of 'em in there, gathering at the end of a long night to count their take, tell stories, and unwind with a cocktail. Two of them were in the lounge-booth across from us, sipping out of a huge shared Scorpion cocktail with two long straws, kinda like Lady and the Tramp. Well, more like The Tramp and the Tramp, but you know what I'm talking about... Only in Vegas!

Drink service was kind of slow, so we left after just one round. We managed to get a cab back to NYNY, and instead of heading home, I stayed there at the hotel with Ali for a little bit of What happens in Vegas... And y'all thought I was spending the evening drinking myself into a blind stupor and contemplating flinging myself from the top of the Stratosphere. Not hardly.

Unfortunately, the sun was almost up by the time we got back, and we had to check out of the room by 11:00, not leaving us much time for dilly-dally. As you can imagine, we didn't get much sleep anyways, and coupled with my sleepless Monday night, I was pretty much a zombie. Without the need to feed on brains, of course.

Even though we'd eaten at the Peppermill around 3:00 am, by eleven, we were starving. And check-in at Bally's (her destination for the balance of her visit) wasn't until 3:00 pm. So we fetched the truck from the valet, and headed out to a place I've been wanting to try forever, Jamm's.

It's way the hell out on W. Charleston and Rainbow, so it was a bit of a drive from the South Strip. But we finally got there, and were seated immediately. It's kind of a small place, and we got there just in time--a few minutes later, the line was out the door.

I ordered chicken fried steak, home fries, eggs, and their famous 'pot of bread', which is fresh from the oven and oh-my-god good. Ali got some sort of grilled ham and cheese sandwich, which she raved about, saying it was the best sandwich she ever had. She made me take a bite, just so I'd stop rolling my eyes at her blatherings. Yep--she wasn't lyin'--it was pretty frickin' good! My breakfast was much better than expected, the coffee was outstanding, and my 'large' orange juice was an entire damn carafe. Oh, and the thing that put it over the top, as far as we were concerned, was the fact that they serve Coke. Not that vile Pepsi shiat.

Notice the Coke glass!


The service was excellent, too, and the prices were more than a bargain. I will definitely go back--even though it's way the hell out by Red Rock, hell and gone from my neck of the woods.

Since Visit Red Rock at Some Point was on Ali's list of Things To Do In Vegas (somewhere behind Hook Up With Mikey, obviously...), and we were already in the neighborhood, that was our next destination.

Our first stop was the dice table, where we played for about 20 minutes or so, both making a little bit of money (well, I made $20, but she was up like $60). After that, we went over to the Pai Gow tables and played for another hour or so. No big wins, but we were both up a few bucks, again. Basically, it was a profitable visit to Red Rock.

Since I hadn't shaved in almost three days, and was still wearing the same clothes as I had on the day before, I was really needing a shower and a fresh set of threads. And since we were already right there next to the 215, it was time to road trip back across town to the Man-Cave.

Still tired from our all-night buffoonery, Ali chilled out and dozed in the magic sleepy-time chair in the living room while I packed a bag, showered, and made myself pretty. Then it was back to the Strip to check in to Bally's.

The check-in line was ridiculously long, but since she was an 'invited guest' she jumped over to the Platinum window, avoiding the unwashed masses in the red velvet maze. It was 3:30ish by then, so of course we could check in. But the room wasn't ready--we were told to come back in an hour for the keys. We were so beat by then--we just wanted a nap--so it was a miserable thing to hear. We ditched the bags with the bell desk, and moped our way over to the bar next to the poker room.

Once we found out that drinks were comped without having to play full credits in the VP machines, I put a five-spot in the machine and ordered a Bombay Sapphire martini. Ali went with Tanqueray and tonic, like a heathen.

Clearly, we were all about the gin at that point...

I was pissed off a Harrah's for making us wait for the room--an obvious ploy to get us into the casino. And it worked--less than 20 minutes later I was down $200 at the craps table. F*cking Evil Empire.

Eventually, we got room keys, and even though it was a non-renovated room in the South Tower, it was a lot nicer than I expected. The fact that they had a bottle opener mounted on the wall in the shiatter amused me for hours... But we were beat. We had the bags brought up, set the alarm for 6:30, closed the curtains, turned off the light, and attempted to nap for a couple of hours.

Much too soon that alarm was ringing. My plans for the evening were to have dinner with Habana Man (Chris) at Firefly on Paradise, and I invited Ali to join us. She declined, saying that she while liked me and all, she still needed her 'alone time' (I'm sure it was because what she really wanted to do was stay in bed for another hour and snooze).

No problemo--I could do Guy's Night Out.

So I left her there at the hotel, and I headed over to the Mirage to pick up Chris. A few minutes later, we were circling the lot at Firefly, looking for a place to park. We didn't have reservations, thinking we wouldn't need them, but the restaurant was packed. We were able to score a table on the patio though, so it was no problem.

The first order of business--drinks! I couldn't go to a Tapas joint and not drink Sangria, so I ordered a tall glass of the red. Oh hell yeah was it ever good... Chris started with the first of many Malibu/Pineapples.

Our waiter and server came over to give us the run down about the 'little plates' concept, and to make recommendations. The also dropped off a plate of stuff to nosh on while we waited--bread slices, almond butter, olives, and roasted red pepper strips. It helped get us in the mood to eat.

We started out with the bacon wrapped dates (absolutely fantastico), the Terra y Mare skewers, (that's the surf and turf with grilled filet, shrimp, and chorizo--Chris's absolute favorite thing on the entire menu), filet mignon sliders, and some spicy shrimp. And we kept 'em coming--more dates, more surf and turf, croquettas, chicken salad, empanadas, baked brie, lamb chops, etc, etc, etc... Every few minutes, a couple more plates hit the table, and another round of Sangria landed in front of me. We kept trying new things, and it didn't disappoint.

We only made one mistake, which was that we didn't order any of the cold tapas first. They were great, but they didn't hold up to the hot ones, so next time we'll go with the cold ones first. Also, as good as the baked Brie with roasted red peppers and chorizo sounded, it really wasn't very good at all. Well, it might've been, but neither one of us liked the taste of it, so not only did they take it away immediately, but they knocked it off our bill, too.

Anyhow, we ate until we were absolutely stuffed, and loved every minute of it. The food was excellent--their sauces just make the good ingredients so much better--the service was also very good (although all of the waiters looked like Ramon the pool boy who's going to hit on your girlfriend when you're not looking...), and the experience was well worth the visit. I think the best thing about it was the variety--we had so many different taste sensations going on, that the food never got boring at all. Everything was interesting, and besides that, tasted wonderful, except for our miss with the Brie.

All of them little plates added up, and the bill came to about $140 for the two of us. Of course, a big chunk of that was booze--$6 a glass for Sangria, and I drank a bunch. Chris did his damage with the rum, and we ate more plates than normal people do. I think a couple on a date could get out of there for less than a hundred, easily. But we wanted to get the most out of our dining experience, and we did!

Once the bill was paid, we waddled out of there, fat and happy, back to the truck. The plan for the balance of the evening was to head back over to the Mirage and chill out in the lounge between the sports book and the poker room, smoking Cuban cigars and putting a dent in their liquor supply.

We found a comfy table over in the corner, ordered some vodka-based drinks, and lit up a couple of Monte Cristo #2's. And at that moment, those two bald guys in Hawaiian shirts were Masters of All Creation, toasting the fact that we were fortunate enough to be in Vegas, living the good life, if only temporarily. We smoked, drank, told stories, raved about dinner, played a little spot-the-hooker, and basically carried on like a couple of mellow dudes for a couple of hours, enjoying the Vegas vibe.

At some point, Dancing Queen came on the overhead music system, so I just had to send a text to Angy.

Hey, I'm having cocktails at the Mirage and Dancing Queen is playing in the background. Wish you were here!


Heh.

She wrote back just a minute later. I wish I was there, too...

Ali showed up to join us at some point, and Dave P showed up just a few minutes after her. So we suddenly had an impromptu gathering on our hands. We kept the cocktail waitress just a little too busy, and I'm certain that we probably disturbed a few of the other patrons in the lounge who were looking for a nice quiet place to relax.

The Sangria, vodka-Cokes, and rum drinks were starting to take their toll after several hours, and Chris and I found it a bit difficult to walk to the men's room once it was time to break the seal. At some point I actually locked myself in a bathroom stall and couldn't get back out again for several minutes. There was no way I was going over the top (have seen too many WWI movies--going over the top never works), and I certainly wasn't going to crawl under, so when going through the door started to sound like a good idea, well, I figured it was time to switch to bottled water.

I managed to eventually get the lock unstuck without doing any structural damage to the men's room, and a few minutes later, our impromptu cocktail party started to break up. We said goodnight to everyone and headed to the valet. Ali wisely insisted on driving my truck back to Bally's, while I served as ballast in the passenger's seat.

Of course, she's used to driving little tiny cars around, so driving my 'huge' truck was a new experience for the female Stevie Wonder, who somehow managed to drive right into the concrete island at the Bally's valet drop off. And I was supposed to be the drunk one... Looks like I'll be getting an alignment next week.

We giggled our way inside and found our way back to the room, eventually managing to get some sleep.

Thursday started off fairly mellow. The effects of the previous night were still lingering, but Advil and bottled water was kind of a lame breakfast. Once we got showered and dressed, we decided to go back to New York New York, since we had such good luck there, and her rental car was still parked with their valet. We also wanted to have breakfast in America, which seemed like the logical thing to do.

She had the Mississippi BBQ sandwich, which she really enjoyed, and instead of eggs and toast, I opted for some sort of huge cheeseburger, loaded with all the fixin's. It really hit the spot, and Ali insisted on paying for breakfast this time around, so it tasted even better.

Once the breakfast tab was paid, we headed back over to the scene of our previous victory to lay waste to the Pai Gow tables once again. And it didn't disappoint--we both started out pretty strong. And then the most random thing happened--suddenly, out of nowhere, Habana Man Chris appeared. He had gone to the Burger Bar at Mandalay Bay for lunch, and was walking back to the Mirage, and stopped in to New York New York because he had to pee. And when he came out of the bathroom he was walking by the pit and saw us sitting there! So he joined us, and the afternoon was even more fun with the three of us there at the table, running smack, having a drink or two, and actually winning some money.

Unfortunately, I had to cut it short. I had to work last night, so I had to get home, do a load of laundry, check the mail, and get ready for work. But when we colored up, I realized that I had quadrupled my buy-in! Woot--I made back everything I'd lost at Bally's and then some!

Since Ali had a rental car, and Chris also had no plans for the evening, they exchanged numbers and said that they'd come out and see me at work, and maybe play at my tables for a bit. So we said our goodbyes and I headed for home, exhausted, and not even looking forward to going back to work again.

I thought for sure I'd be dealing Pai Gow again, just like I do every Thursday night, but when I got to work, I learned that my first hour was cosmic punishment--I was assigned to deal Let It Ride. First time in two months... Oh well, it wasn't too bad. I had some fun people who weren't playing with their rent money, so it was somewhat enjoyable.

After that, I spent a couple of hours on the six-deck shoe games. Ali sent me a text message saying that Chris bailed out, but that she'd be out around 11. I also found out that I'd be going to the dice table at 11 o'clock, so I sent her a message to come find me in the dice pit once she got to the casino.

I had a nice, fun table with a good crew and none of our regular douchebag players--it was all tourists--so nobody was stroking us. Ali showed up during my turn on the stick, so I was using all of my good material (Eight, eight--everybody LOVES to get ate!), which was also making the other dealers laugh a bit too. Luckily the 'dice boss' has Thursday nights off, so my act was uncensored...

Unfortunately, one of the other tables closed and they had no place to put the other dealers, so we were on a five-man crew. That meant I'd be taking a whole lot more breaks than normal, so I told 'em to get me on the Early Out list. As soon as I said that, I they told me to go home on the next push.

While I went and signed out and changed, Ali colored up and met me on the other side of the pit. We left her car there in the garage, and headed over to Green Valley Ranch to give it a try.

It was fairly mellow, being a weeknight, and we sat down at an empty Pai Gow table. My drinking for the week was done, so I just went with bottled water. I believe Ali did the same. Our first dealer was pretty good to us, and except for starting out smacking us down with a full-house, we made a little money. The next dealer, however, just crushed us, and we got the ever-livin' shiat kicked out of us. Twice I had a flush with pairs on top, and neither hand won. I got two full-houses that didn't win, and got beat with three pairs a couple of times, too.

It was a bloodbath, and after about an hour and a half, I had given back almost all of my NYNY winnings. Ugh. We decided that enough was enough, and figured the only way to get some of our money back was if we could get a comp for breakfast in the coffee shop. They were more than willing to do that, so around 2:00 am, we were enjoying a free meal. Well, a free meal that probably cost us close to $300...

I had a ham steak combo meal, and Ali ordered a huge platter of chicken nachos. There was no way we were gonna finish all that grub, but we gave it the ol' college effort. And Ali said that even though we got crushed at the tables, she really liked the casino at Green Valley, and wouldn't hesitate to come back. I agreed--it's my favorite casino in all of Vegas, except for maybe Treasure Island. But since it's less than a mile from my front door, well, it gets the edge when it really comes down to it.

I drove Ali back to her car, and I was exhausted--looking forward to sleeping in my own bed once again. But she really twisted my arm, and talked me into driving back down to Bally's to stay with her on her last night in town. Unable to resist, I agreed. So we caravaned back down to the Strip...

But the 9:00 am wake-up call still came much too early. We futzed around the room for a bit, well, I dozed while she got showered and dressed--she had some conference to attend over at Bellagio, while all I had to do was go to the bank and run a couple of Friday-morning errands. We made our way back downstairs and said our goodbyes--She's heading back home this afternoon. We had a really good, and completely unexpected visit, and I'm glad that she called me on Tuesday--I had a lot of fun! And it really helped to take my mind off of things, too.

So anyhow, I'm finally back at the house for a bit. My errands have been run, I got some laundry done, and I'm looking forward to a nice nap this afternoon. And I think I have to be down at Paris for dinner at 5:00. Lisa Lisa the One I Adore is here, and I've got two more days of buffoonery on tap!

Sucks to be me, huh?

Mikey

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