Wednesday, August 29, 2007

All Messed Up

Well, my sleep schedule is all jacked up. Normally about this time I'm all about hitting the sack and not moving until around 2 pm or so, just in time to wake up, stretch, shuffle out to the living room, and catch Pardon The Interruption on ESPN.

But yesterday I was up earlier than usual, got a few things done, but then dozed in that hypnotic chair of Rob's for a few hours, waking up in time to catch the two hours of the World Series of Poker Main Event, also on ESPN. After that, it was a bit of farting around the house, but I fell asleep at nine or so, before waking up again around 2 am this morning. Now I'm wide awake.

Unmotivated, but still wide awake.

Anyhow, this year's WSOP looks to be imminently more watchable than last year's version. First of all, literally all of the asshats have been eliminated early--Phil Helmuth (what's up with that ridiculous outfit?), Mike Matusow, Jamie Gold, and that moron Bruce Buffer, too. Not sure about Humberto Brenes, but any hour of televised poker that doesn't show him is a good hour, as far as I'm concerned. Hell, even Jose Conseco got busted out early.

So next Tuesday's episodes should be more fun to watch than the entire 2006 version.

While watching poker, I made myself a snack that I'd heard of somewhere recently that sounded pretty good. I don't go to a lot of movies, but somebody (I can't remember who or where) said that their favorite movie snack is dumping a box of Junior Mints into their bucket of buttered popcorn, giving it a 'trail mix' vibe with both salty and sweet going on at the same time.

Well, that sounded good to me, so I microwaved a bag of Act II popcorn, poured it into a bowl, dumped some Junior Mints over the top, and then stirred it all together.

Um yeah--good theory, but the reality falls a bit short. We'll call this a learning experience.

First of all, if you put chocolate candy into a bowl of hot popcorn, the shiat is gonna melt. Second of all, if you try to stir candy into popcorn, hot or cold, it's gonna sink right to the bottom. Third of all, if it's melty and gooey and sitting on the bottom, guess what it sticks to--that's right, all the unpopped kernels.

Not my best effort when it comes to snacking in front of the tube. I think next time I'll just take the Offspring's advice and keep 'em separated.

But that was several hours ago, and I'm gonna be hungry again pretty soon. And that was my snack-food quota for the weekend, so I'll have to cook a real meal at some point. I've got biscuits, sausage patties, grits, eggs, coffee, juice--all the ingredients for a fine breakfast if I were motivated to bang pots around in the kitchen. But as of right now, I'm not.

Hell, I even told Rob yesterday that it was a perfect time to order pizza--I was hungry but too lazy to cook. But getting a pizza delivered is a royal pain in the ass here in our maximum-security gated community. Nobody seems to be able to figure out the key-code thing, and since we don't have a land-line telephone, the authorization rings to my cell phone. So it doesn't do Rob any good to have visitors or have food delivered if I'm not here. And if for whatever reason my cellphone decides not to ring (we've all had that happen before), whoever is out there just has to wait at the gate and sneak in behind the next resident who happens to drive up.

The bottom line--we've never had a pizza delivered to our new home. Chinese food, either, I'm sad to say.

Anyhow, I guess that's a good thing. The law of Unintended Consequences has reared it's responsible head and kept us from spending money on pizza delivery, forcing us to go grocery shopping and actually cook. But everyone knows that I generally love to cook, and having a nice kitchen is a big help, too. But some days I'm just lazy.

Today is shaping up to be one of those days.

But breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, and the most fun to cook. I could go with a bowl of Special K, a sourdough English muffin, and a glass of juice, but that's the kind of thing I would eat back when I wore Dockers to work and left the house at 7:30 every morning. Hell, I don't even read the Wall Street Journal anymore, either, so a bran muffin, a banana, and yogurt at my desk are also out of the question.

I guess, in the meantime, I could just brew a big pot of coffee, crank out a bunch more drivel for your reading enjoyment, and eventually get hungry enough to go cook something.

Like most things, I seem to enjoy talking about it more than actually doing it...

So it looks like it's coffee time!


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