Friday, February 06, 2009

Incense and Peppermints?

No, not quite the aroma I had in mind...

But Hoya, knowing my affinity for both bacon and lounging around in bed, sent me a link to the newest invention to embrace the Hurricane Mikey lifestyle. Ladies and Gents, I give you the Bacon Alarm Clock!

According to the website, you just put some bacon in the thing before you go to bed at night, and it starts cooking it ten minutes before the alarm goes off.

Yeah, that's cool in theory, I suppose, but I change my alarm settings every day due to my unorthodox work schedule. And a lot of times I get called in earlier than my alarm, so I'd have a bunch bacon sitting there on my nightstand while I was gone. Not a good plan when there are three golden retrievers in the house who go even more apeshit for bacon than I do.

Bacon bacon bacon!!! I smell bacon! Gimme what's in the clock!!!

No thanks. While the theory may be sound, the practice leaves a little something to be desired. And as much as I love bacon, I don't want to just wake up and eat a handful by itself first thing in the morning. Cleaning it seems like it would be a pain in the ass, too. It's bad enough that I have to rinse out my coffee maker in the bathroom sink... And I'll go ahead and say what some of you folks are thinkin'. That's way unsanitary, too. Not just the idea of getting bacon grease all over your linens, but some people, well, you don't know where their hands have been since they went to bed the night before, if you know what I mean...

However, if somebody invented an alarm clock that not only cooked bacon and brewed coffee, but fixed me a couple of eggs over easy and some whole wheat toast with butter and strawberry preserves, well, I'm listenin'...


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