Choices

You've heard of Chevy guys and Ford guys, but for most of my life I guess I've always been a Nissan guy. I've owned three Nissans in the past--two different Frontier pickup trucks and a 280 ZX back in the day when I was poor. In fact the first car I had when I was 16 was a hand-me-down 1976 Datsun F-10 hatchback with a trendy burnt orange paint job. It too suffered the same fate as the Ghetto Sled back on a rainy night in St. Charles Missouri while driving to my ultra-hip job at the Fifth Street McDonalds... (You don't need to add oil as long as the oil pressure light isn't going off, right?).

Anyhow, my tastes have changed somewhat over the past few years. As much as I loved my Nissan pickup trucks (never had a mechanical problem whatsoever), I think I'm now a Dodge guy.

Having rented several different vehicles over the course of the last year or so, I've narrowed down my top choices for replacing the Ghetto Sled, may it rest in peace. First of all, I can tell you that I absolutely will not consider a Jeep Commander. I rented one this past weekend, and it is a gutless turd of an SUV. Ugly, too.


Seriously, it was the most underpowered gas hog I've ever had the displeasure to drive. While it was comfortable and the visibility was good, I could never justify feeding about $50 a week of gas into something that ugly. Besides, I don't need something with three rows of seats in it.

Anyone who knows me, knows what my first choice would be... Yep, I am absolutely in love with the Chrysler 300. I think it's sexier than a Corvette and more stylish than any Lexus. The car just looks bad ass. While I can't afford a loaded "C" or Limited model, a base model with the V-6 engine (still with 200 horsies under the hood) is well within my price range.


Damn. Hotter than a redhead in high heels as far as I'm concerned. And I look good in it too... I would love to have one of those parked in my driveway every day.

If I can't get a good deal on a 300, I'm ok with the Magnum station wagon, too. Not only is it the coolest looking station wagon ever built (probably not a hard thing to do), the thing has balls. My buddy Rambill rented one last year while visiting Vegas, and while I was very impressed with the comfort and the styling, it had ridiculous power and acceleration.


Of course, if I went that route, I'd have to pay extra for a roof rack and a surfboard to attach to it, just because. The only thing that gives me pause when considering this car is the fact that I've seen several driving around town sporting a kiddie carseat in the back. To me, that would be like riding around on a pink Harley.

Now, I've been going over the numbers for a couple of weeks now, and I can easily afford a $500 per month car payment. Not that I'd want to, but it could be done. So if I decide to go completely off the lets-be-smart-about-this reservation, I'd have to go with the coolest looking design to come out of Detroit since the 2005 Ford Mustang, the new Dodge Charger:


I don't think I've ever seen a car with such an aggessive stance that made me stop and stare every time I see one on the road. Of course, if I were going to go this route, I'd have to go with the monster V-8 engine with the 400+ horsepower. But that would put the price out of my reach, which is probably a good thing. Besides, if I ended up with one of these, besides the huge payment and insurance premium, I'd feel obligated to get more tattoos, too.

Which leads me to the most practical of my choices, the Dodge Dakota. I've always liked pickup trucks, but Nissan Frontiers are too small, and usually a bit underpowered unless I pay extra for a V-6. But for that kind of money, I can get a real truck, like this one:


It's a good-looking ride, and a small block V-8 provides plenty of power. And those clowns down at Towbin are offering them for around 19K, putting it well within my budget. I like the extra-cab model, but the four-door crew cab is pretty spiffy too.

My current plan is to wait until the end of August or so, when the new 2007 models hit the lot and the dealerships are offering good incentives to unload the 2006 models. By then I should have a substantial downpayment saved up, and I don't much care about depreciation--if I buy brand new, I'm going to drive it until the wheels fall off several hundred thousand miles down the road, anyways.

These are my four top choices if I buy brand new. However, if a good deal isn't to be found (and due to the difficulties I faced in 2001-2002, my credit still isn't good enough to get the best financing, either), I'll go the used route. If that's the case I'll consider stuff like a Jeep Grand Cherokee, a Ford F-150 pickup, or maybe even a Chevy Trailblazer.

But regardless of what I get, I'm fairly certain that I won't be buying another forest-green Lincoln Continental with air-ride suspension and a faulty air conditioner...

Mikey