Saturday, June 10, 2006

American Badass

This week, I am a total badass. You cannot mess with me, I'm ten feet tall and bulletproof.

Ok, maybe I'm laying it on a little thick, but I think I've decided on the car I'm going to buy. It's so cool that I lust after it more than any leggy cocktail waitress I encounter on a daily basis.

First of all, I went down to the rental lot at the airport on Friday morning to pick up my car for the week. When I made the reservation, they told me that I'd be getting a Dodge Magnum (the station wagon) or something equivalent. No problemo. But when I got down there, did the paperwork, and went out to the lot to fetch my new ride, there were no Magnums available. Mostly Jeep Libertys. Ugh. After last week's Jeep experience, I didn't think I wanted to go that route again. But in the middle of the row, surrounded by Jeeps, I saw a solitary Dodge Charger.

Oh hell yeah!

Unfortunately, as soon as I saw it, the reverse lights flashed on, and it started backing out. Somebody had beat me to it. So I asked the attendant if he had any other Chargers available.

Just one, I was told, and the end of the line against the far wall.


I walked back to find a beautiful white Charger sitting all by itself, just waiting for me to claim it. So I did. I gave it a quick once-over to look for scratches or dings to report on my way off the lot, and just a few minutes later I was breaking speed laws on Tropicana.

I've had the car for two days now and I absolutely love it. It's big, comfortable, and even though it's not the beefy 400 hp Hemi model, the SE model that I'm driving has the high-output 3.5 liter V-6 with 250 horsepower. It's got a nice rumble, and unlike the Jeep I had, it actually responds when I put my foot in it. And yeah, I've been putting my foot in it!

I've got it reserved for the entire week, and I'm going to be pretty sad when I have to give it back next Friday. I still think the 300 is just a touch nicer and looks more like a car that suits me, but a Charger will probably be more affordable, and damn is it ever a sweet ride. I would be very happy to own one and get to drive it every day.

And another thing. Ever since last summer when Angy was here, the first cd I pop in upon picking up the rental car and going to the airport is always ABBA's Greatest Hits. It's like a tradition. Not this time. This car spit it out and insisted on Appetite for Destruction.

Driving this car around town with Guns N Roses cranked up almost makes me want to head out to the forest, kill a large animal with my bare hands, and grill it over a fire--something that those poor souls jockeying minivans around town will never understand...


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