First of all, I have to say, that going on a Google image search using the term 'rum barrel' is just downright pornographic to somebody like me. Oh good god, if I can choose the way I get to depart this mortal coil, I would like it to be by drowning in a vat of rum. While getting my freak on with a hot redhead. And I would like it to take awhile too, please, thanks.
Anyhow, as I talked about doing sometime ago, it's time to talk about my favorite spirit. No, not the Ghost of Elvis, I'm talking about the kind you drink, and for me, nothing is better than RUM.
Not including wine, I think I have about fifty or sixty bottles of booze on hand, and well over half of them are rum. And there are no repeats, except on occasion when I have two bottles of Captain Morgan on hand. Otherwise, every bottle is a unique variety.
But lets talk about the notables, shall we?
Overall Favorite Rum: This honor goes to Mt. Gay Eclipse rum. It's made in Barbados, and it goes with everything. Coke, Sprite, fruit juice, soda, tonic, on the rocks, ice cream, etc. It also makes the best pina colada ever, hands down, no contest, don't even try to argue. If I had to choose just one bottle of rum to spend the rest of my days with, this would be the one.
Everyday Rum: The original Captain Morgan. I remember the exact day I discovered it--summer of 1990, I was working as a river guide in Alaska, and it was our company photographer's 21st birthday. In addition to a keg of Ranier, we brought home a couple bottles of the Captain to celebrate with. Of course, it was a rocky introduction, as we were doing it as shots (and I can think of not one single rum that should be shot like tequila or whiskey). Anyhow, I survived the first impression 18 years ago, and now it's an old friend. Everybody loves The Captain.
Best Mixer: Captain Morgan Silver. I love regular Captain Morgan, but when it comes to mixableness, the Silver is the way to go. It's a bit smoother, maybe a touch sweeter, and I've never gotten a hangover from it. And it goes so well with fruit juice that I call it my 'breakfast' rum. Some folks drink mimosas or bloody marys--not this cat, give me a Captain Silver and OJ with my brunch, and I'm living the high life.
Best Sippin' Rum: I'll have to go with Pyrat Cask Rum for this one. It's a premium spirit, and it ain't cheap. But it's one that you can have on the rocks, or even sip slowly from a brandy snifter, especially while smoking a fine cigar. It's got a very smooth, complex, and almost smokey flavor, like a good scotch, but not nearly as harsh.
Most Interesting Rum: I'll offer up one that nobody's ever heard of -- Flor de Cana Rum from Nicaragua. I would've never heard of it either, but my buddy Eric sent a bottle along as a gift last summer. It's a premium-type rum, and you won't find it any many places outside of specialty shops. And you'll never find it at the corner bar. But it's got a delightfully dark color to it, almost like coffee, and it's a fine rum for sipping or mixing, whatever you're in the mood for. It is not, however, a beginner's rum. If you're not already a rum drinker, don't start with this one, you probably won't like the first time you drink it. I like it quite a bit, but I may have a more refined palate than most casual rum drinkers. I know that sounds snobby, but like cigars, you don't start off by smoking a Cuban Partagas Rubusto--you won't like it until you've had a few dozen others under your belt, and it'll probably kick your ass anyways. Same with this stuff.
Best Top-Shelf Rum You Can Order at the Bar: Appleton's Estate Rum. Hoya turned me on to this stuff several years ago, and I have to admit, it's pretty damn good. And you can find it almost everywhere. It's made in Jamaica, and it's a bit sweeter than some of my other favorites, but you can't go wrong if it's the main ingredient in umbrella drinks. You might get charged an extra buck or two, but it sure beats the hell out of Bacardi (which I consider to be the Pepsi of the rum universe--successful only as a result of good marketing, not from having a superior product).
Best Rum to Put in Your Christmas Eggnog: I know, some folks scoff at the thought of using anything but bourbon in eggnog. But as we die-hard Caribbean Souls already know, rum makes the holidays better. I have to go with Parrot Bay Coconut Rum here--it's sweet, not harsh at all, and the combo of coconut and eggnog is hard to beat. Besides, you're supposed to top your eggnog with nutmeg anyways, and you know where nutmeg comes from? The same place coconuts do. It's like they were meant to be together. Some folks might go with Malibu here, but here's a dirty little secret--Parrot Bay has a higher alcohol content than Malibu, and sometimes, it's the little things like that that'll help you make it through the holidays when relatives are hanging around. Besides, when you open the bottle and sniff it, it smells like ladies lying on the beach, wearing not much at all. And that turns me on even more than the smell of bacon frying or coffee brewing!
Best Infused Rum: I'm not a huge fan of infused rums--I prefer infused vodkas (which reminds me of something funny Lars said the other night, I prefer my vodka infused with Juniper berries, as he sipped his Bombay Sapphire martini...). Anyhow, if you're going to get a flavored rum, and coconut doesn't blow your skirt up, go with Mt. Gay Vanilla. Rum is naturally sweeter than vodka, and a hint of vanilla makes it even more so. Throw some in a blender with ice and a couple of scoops of high-quality vanilla ice cream, and you've got yourself one helluva milkshake!
Favorite Top-Shelf Rum: I'll have to go with Captain Morgan Private Stock on this one. Very smooth, very easy to drink, it isn't ruined by mixers, but on the downside, you gotta make sure your limes are ripe. For whatever reason, this rum will let you know if the lime is bitter.
Rum You Gotta Have On Your Bar If You Want to be Taken Seriously: Pusser's. It's a product of the British Virgin Islands, the main ingredient of the famous Pusser's Painkiller, and a direct descendant of shipboard 'Grog'. In fact, if you mix it with sodomy and the lash, well, you've got yourself 300+ years of British Naval Tradition in a glass. Actually, it's a pretty damn good rum, and it always seems to sell out fastest down at my local booze-monger's place.
'Just Because' Rum: Myer's Original Dark Rum. This is a tricky one. It's not very good as a stand-alone rum, at least to my taste buds, and there are much better rums to mix out there. But there are a lot of cocktails out there that call for dark rum, so it's a niche that every rum aficianado has to fill. And if you want to enjoy the quintessential Bermudan drink, the Dark & Stormy, you gotta have Myer's. Mix it in a pitcher with ice and Ginger Beer (*not* Ginger Ale), and enjoy. I can almost guarantee you won't like the first one. But by the third one, you'll love it. It's the world's fastest acquired taste.
Worst rums: Oh geez, there are a lot of bad rums out there--Cruzan infused rums are pretty foul, which is a shame since their Estate rums are so good. I don't know why there is such a drop-off in quality. Whaler's Rum, as cool as the bottles are, sucks like crap on a stick, which just goes to show that a nice cover can't disguise a shiatty book. But the worst rum I've ever tasted has to be Captain Morgan Tattoo Rum. Oh lord, I don't know what they were thinking. According to Wikipedia, it was designed to compete with Jaegermeister. To me, it barely competes with dirty bathwater. Seriously--avoid it at all costs.
Anyhow, I prefer to drink my rum Cuba Libre-style, that is, with Coke and lime, as most people do. But fruit juice is always good, especially when I feel like I'm not getting enough vitamins, and on the rare occasion, I'll sip it straight, but that's usually when I'm wearing shoes and a shirt with buttons on it. And I would never drink it straight unless I have a cigar in the other hand.
Of all the spirits, Rum is the best. It may not be as versatile as vodka, but it sure tastes better. Besides, rum is a happy drink, vodka is not. You ever see a Russian smile? Me either. But Caribbean islanders are always grinning. I guess if I lived down there sitting in the sun, barefoot, staring at the ocean, drinking rum all day, I'd be smilin' too.
Mikey
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