I'm Dressed as a Baggage Handler...

Imagine my embarrassment when I got to the party and saw somebody else wearing the exact same costume!

Happy Halloween, kiddies! I hope you all get lots of good treats, and don't have to turn too many tricks to get 'em...

Unfortunately, I won't be dressing up or partying tonight, although there is a big costume party on tap at my favorite watering hole. Nope, I'll be dressed as a casino dealer, as part of my double-switch deal with my friend Jen, so she can have the night off with her kid. I'm hoping there are some interesting costumes that make an appearance tonight at work, and if past performance is any indication, I'm sure there will be.

Believe me, I've got buyer's remorse now that I made that deal. I'd *much* rather have the night off and spend the evening getting stupid. I miss going to good Halloween parties--back in the day when I lived in Phoenix, my old roommate Tammie and her uncle used to host the best costume parties ever--huge affairs with dozens and dozens of people in attendance. We had some great times, and I turned out some pretty good costumes myself.

My favorite, which people still talk about, was 'The Ghost of Elvis'. I wore a plain white sheet and cut holes in it for eyes, put an Elvis wig on top, wore the gold sunglasses, put a few big fake rings on my fingers, angel wings in back, a halo above my head, and finished off the ensemble with a pair of blue suede shoes.

That was a good costume.

One year I mailed it in by being a Rastafarian, which basically a green, yellow, and red hat with a dreadlock wig, and one time I went as Uncle Fester, which was cool, except I didn't realize what a pain it was to get all of that paint off of my head. Somewhere out there, there are pictures of me sitting behind the wheel of a Plymouth Prowler in that get-up, with a well-endowed Morticia riding along next to me.

As Eddie Murphy used to say, It's been a long time since dem days...

I think one of the funnier costumes I ever wore, at least as far as being a big hit with the ladies is concerned, was one year I went as that Joy of Painting guy, Bob Ross. All it took was a 70's era shirt, an afro wig, a fake gold chain, a few paintbrushes, and an easel. That was the same year that Eddie B showed up dressed as a toilet, wearing a Cubs bucket hat. I don't know why, but the hat just *made* the costume and I giggled about it all night long.

Of course, the best part of Halloween parties is the fact that chicks use it as an excuse to dress all slutty and nobody can say shiat about it. I think I speak for all dudes when I say that I love me some slutty vampires/nurses/princesses. I remember one year (the Bob Ross year), getting high out in the toolshed with a chick who used to work in my office, but had since moved on. Anyhow, she was dressed as a Slutty Viking Chick, and refused to have her picture taken unless I was standing behind her, reaching around and holding onto her ample bosom, which was highlighted by a metal, plastic, and leather bikini top.

Good times!

Somehow I think tonight's activities will pale in comparison.

Mikey