Ok, so I've owned this same coffeemaker for about seven years now, and have made hundreds of pots of coffee with it. Yes, it needs a little TLC and a healthy vinegar bath for it's innards, but it just keeps brewin' along, making pot after pot of delicious hazelnut java every week.
And just about an hour ago, I discovered--for the very first time--that if I remove the decanter pot from the heating surface, the coffee does not drip out of the filter basket. It's a miracle! Seriously, I had no idea that it was designed to keep idiots like me from draining coffee all over the counter. I thought only uppity European coffeemakers did that, not a $25 Mr. Coffee machine. Who knew?
The pot was only half full, but I didn't want to wait for it to finish because I was wanting to go sit down in front of the TV before the commercials ended. I wanted my coffee at that very moment. So I did the old Indiana Jones move, and instead of removing a golden idol from the pedestal and immediately replacing it with a bag of sand, I pulled out the glass pot and put my coffee cup under the drip thingy.
Suddenly, the stream stopped.
I was so puzzled by that ability that I stood there trying to 'trick' it several times before I realized it was a design feature and gave up. I swear, if anybody would've been watching me, they would've thought I was a chimpanzee seeing his reflection for the first time.
I guess this is just further evidence of what a huge dork I am. And even though I felt like a total dipshiat after I realized how it worked, it was still nice to get a cool surprise like that. It was a lot like the time I realized the stereo in my truck had 12 presets instead of just six. It only took me about five months to discover that one, however.
Anyhow...
It's Monday morning, and after I came home from work I spent an hour or so downloading music and cleaning up my mp3 library, getting ready for my big iPod project where I organize and re-load all of my playlists once and for all. And I was missing a few songs by greats like Milli Vanilli, MC Hammer, and Vanilla Ice. Additionally, I didn't feel like hitting the hot-tub again, mostly because I was thirsty for coffee instead of rum & coke, and it was too chilly outside for an icy drink. So I dorked out at my computer for awhile. Kinda like I'm doing now.
And because I've been slowly working my way through an entire pot of coffee, I'm fairly certain that I'll be awake for a couple more hours, so why not update the ol' website?
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Life in the casino, this past weekend, was a combination of both good and bad. First of all, we had two nights where tokes were back up where they belonged, so we obviously had some decent players in this weekend to offset our regular fleas. But no matter what, the worst ones keep coming back.
Every dealer in Vegas has a mental checklist of regular players who he or she just despises, and I'm no different. For instance, one of our regular Pai Gow players is a complete crack-smoking tweaker--and to make it worse, he never shuts up, never stops banging his chips around, and always insists on telling everyone else at the table how to set their hands, whether they want his assistance or not. Not to mention his pleasing aroma...
Well, he was in again last night, and when I saw him sitting at the 'kiddie table' (the $5 Pai Gow game) I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he'd already smoked all of his money for the month and wouldn't be getting any until next week, so he wouldn't bother me at my $10 game.
I was wrong.
I was dealing a hand and out of the corner of my eye I saw his stupid ass trotting towards my table. I offered a quick silent prayer to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, O Great Holy Noodleness, please don't let him sit down here...
But my plea went unanswered, and his dumb ass sat down. Ugh.
To make matters worse, I couldn't bust the guy. Before he got there, I was wiping everyone out and was down to just two remaining players. As soon as he showed up, I couldn't make a hand. And I had to listen to his running crackhead commentary for forty minutes until my relief showed up.
Apparently he was due for some good Karma at the same time I was due for some bad, because on the very last hand I dealt before going on break, I gave that f*cker a Straight Flush. And he had $11 on the bonus, earning a cool $550.
Anybody but this jerkoff! was the only thought I could muster.
I called out Five-fifty out on a straight flush!, and when I turned to look at the floorperson, the look on her face said it all--You asshat! Now this dipshiat has bullets--he'll never leave...
Yep, she hates the guy too.
All I could do was shrug my shoulders and walk away, my only solace being the fact that I knew I wasn't coming back to his table twenty minutes later.
But five hundred bucks buys a lot of meth, so we're pretty confident that once he finally left, he won't be back for a few days.
In addition to that crackhead, there's another old lady that comes in who I just can't stand. Not only is she a stiff, but she drives up from California *every* weekend, and wears the exact same clothes for two or three days in a row.
And she just... won't... leave...
The problem is, I have my 'work' persona where I smile and I'm friendly to everyone (well, almost...) and she thinks I like her. To make matters worse, she tells me that I'm her favorite dealer. But the truth is, I can't f*cking stand the sight of her, and when I see her walking up to my table with a big stupid grin on her face, it's all I can do swallow my pride and act like I'm happy to see her, while I'm secretly wishing she'd fall over and break a hip or something.
Yeah, I'm a bit of a misanthrope. I admit it. We all have our dirty little secrets.
To make matters worse, I *cannot* bust her when she plays at my table. She's just one of those people who's gambling chi is too strong for me. I wish I could lay the smack down on her, but she always frickin' wins against me. Not big jackpots, but just enough to keep her going all night long, outlasting me. Maybe that's the reason why I'm her favorite.
But there have been several times in the past few months where I've actually taken an hour Early Out rather than have to deal to her. She's one of those people who just rubs me the wrong way, and the only thing I have to look forward to is the fact that some day, the law of averages is gonna catch up to her and I'm gonna take every dime she has. I just wish it would hurry up and get here.
And here you thought the dealers always wanted the players to win. Mostly, I do, but there are a handful of f*cktards that I wish would never win another bet at my table as long as they live.
But all is not bad in the casino world. Why, just the other night, I got to spend my entire break with one of the hottest cocktail waitresses in the joint, and we sat outside at a picnic table where she told me all about her adventure in getting her bikini area waxed and laser'd.
Of course I thanked her profusely for putting that thought into my head, and for the rest of the night, whenever she came to my table to serve drinks, I somehow got distracted, and it was mis-deal city.
But I've got to bring my A-game tonight. I'm scheduled to deal dice again. Funny, how after a year of not being scheduled to deal craps, I've gotten five nights in the past three weeks.
It's a nice change of pace from Pai Gow, and it's much better than dealing blackjack. But I prefer to mentally prepare myself for a night at the dice table, only because it's so much work. On Friday night, I was taking a little mini-vacation on the $20 Pai Gow table, chillin' out, flirting with the well-groomed waitress, watching the baseball game on one of the big screens in the bar, when one of the dealers tapped me out after just 40 minutes on the game.
I was like, What the...? and was told to go to Dice #4, and be part of a five man crew.
Motherf*cking c*cks*cking sonofa bizatch....!!!!!
There is nothing more frustrating, in my book, then getting taken off of a perfectly good string of easy tables and getting sent to a five man dice game. That's the WORST. Because then the night just drags by as you do 20 minutes on stick, take a break, come back and deal 40 minutes on base, take another break, and then do it all over again and again. Ugh, I *hate* it. Also, it kinda sucks to come to work thinking you're dealing Pai Gow all night, and then get tossed into a crazy-assed dice game instead.
I asked the floorman why I was going to a five-man crew at 8 pm and was told "Sorry, we just have too many dealers here tonight..."
Man, I was livid! They refused to send any of the Extra Board dealers home, which is complete bullshiat, because when I spent nine months toiling on the Extra Board, and there were too many dealers in the house--tough shiat--I got sent home immediately. What makes it even worse is that our tokes have been so bad lately, and to keep part-timers around instead of booting them out the door keeps the toke rate lower than it should be. Hey, nobody cared if I was broke when I was a part-timer, so it really irks me that they do now.
I was so damn mad at that point, I was ready to snap.
But I kept my mouth shut and sucked it up like a good little drone. But don't think that I'm not gonna remember asinine shiat like this once decision time rolls around and I need to choose between getting bent over again and again by old reliable or taking a chance with a new opportunity.
But I brought it up in our Saturday night pre-shift meeting, and the assistant shift boss agreed with my point of view, so I'm hoping to get a little feedback from the people in the suits. We'll see if anything changes.
But that was two days ago, and I've cooled off a bit since then. Last night was a nice, easy, relaxing night, although it seemed to drag on forever. I had enough players that I *felt* busy, but not enough so that the time went by fast. I got seriously bummed out on my break when I thought it was midnight and it was only 10:20. On the other hand, when I came back to my table, my gal Stephanie was out there waiting to see me. She had come in for dinner with the parents and took a little time to come visit, since we haven't been able to hang out in about three or four months. So that was a nice little bonus on my otherwise dull evening.
Anyhow, that's about all the news from Vegas-land on this Monday morning. My coffee cup is empty, the sun is up, and I need to get a few hours of sleep before going in tonight and earning an honest dollar behind the dice table.
Y'all have a great day.
Mikey
PS. Congrats to the Red Sox. Damn those guys are good!
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