Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Getting In The Madness Mood

Ok, the question has been asked a few times now, both in the comments section and in emails. Apparently, several of my readers want to know why I feel the need to carry a backpack during March Madness.

The answer is quite simple, really--I have a lot of shiat to haul around with me. Normally, when I 'do Vegas', I don't need to carry around too much--a wallet, some hundies, and a few odds and ends that will easily fit in my pockets.

But March Madness is a different beast altogether. I might leave my hotel room and not return for 24 or 36 hours. Who knows where the day will take me, or even better, who knows where I'll be sleeping that night. If I play my cards right, no pun intended, I may end up in a different hotel for the night, enjoying an evening of 'What happens in Vegas'. You just never know.

So, what am I going to carry around every day while I'm doing The Madness? Well, off the top of my head--

  • Wallet
  • Keys
  • Money clip
  • Glasses and case
  • Sunglasses and case
  • Chip protector
  • Cell phone
  • Camera
  • iPod
  • Pen
  • Aspirin
  • Jimmy Hats
  • Chapstick
  • Handi-wipes
  • Lighter
  • Cigar cutter
  • Cigars
  • Room key
  • Kleenex
  • Coupon books
  • Porn flyers (oh yes, always fun to plant them someplace embarrassing for your friends)
  • Matches
  • A bag of 420 (can't count on having Johnson's underpants handy)
  • A copy of my bracket
  • A corkscrew/bottle opener
  • Line sheets and game schedules from the sports book
  • Altoids
  • An extra shirt
  • Sharpie markers
  • Other weird shiat that I pick up in the course of my travels, like glow sticks, souvenirs, mini tabasco bottles, lobster shells, 3-D glasses, a fish-shaped caribiner, tournament schedules, Matchbox cars, candy, cigarettes, business cards, water bottles, Mardi gras beads, etc...

Yes, some stuff could fit in my pockets, but it's a pain in the ass digging around for stuff when you're in a hurry. I like to keep just a small bundle of singles in my pocket, that's all, just to make it easier to tip the waitress. It seems like they only come around when you're involved in a hand or it's your turn to shoot the dice, so I like to be prepared and not slow the game down. Also, it seems that at the end of every Vegas trip, I have a shiatload of loose coins at the bottom of my suitcase. And I hate carrying change around in my pockets--it scratches my cellphone.

A fanny pack, of course, is out of the question, and a 'messenger bag', which seems to be fashionable amongst the skinny-jeans and Che-shirt wearing Apple cultists, looks a little too much like a man-purse for my tastes. So a cool-looking backpack with lots of pockets, snaps, and zippers is just fine with me, and so I'll have one hanging over my shoulder for most of the weekend.

Besides, with a backpack, I can also pack a pair of boxers and a toothbrush, just in case I manage to close the deal with some cougar at the Carnaval Court.

Be Prepared.

That's what they taught me in the Boy Scouts, and thirty years later, it's still sound advice.


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