Monday, March 02, 2009

Another Short Night At the Office

Grrr... I'm getting a little sick of this bad economy and the fact that the damn bad beat jackpot keeps hitting on Fridays, ruining our weekends. Oh, and the new M resort had their grand opening last night, so every local player south of the 215 went out there to check it out--my casino was dead last night.

Apparently, the Henderson cops had nothing to do, either, as I got pulled over again on the way to work. I think this is the fourth time I've been pulled over by them, but I've yet to get a ticket. I wasn't speeding or anything, it's just that I was the only car on the road and when the cop pulled me over, he said that the light over my license plate was out. I thought that was odd, but then when he went to look at it up close, he said it was just dim. Whatever. I guess there wasn't much crime being perpetrated in Henderson last night and they needed to practice traffic stops.

But I went in at 1:00 am like a good soldier, and was less than thrilled to see a single shorthanded 4-8 game going. I only recognized one player, though--the rest were tourists or not-quite-regulars. I milked the table for all I could, telling the floorman that I needed to hold it together long enough to pull another $80 out of the game so I had enough to pay all the first-of-the-month bills that were due today without having to do any creative juggling between accounts. (Yeah, I've spent a small fortune this past week--and it all adds up!). All of the players were pretty nice, with a good mix of absolute rookies versus a few really good players, plus one tight-as-a-drum rock. Luckily, there was also a newbie in the game with a huge stack in front of him who was tipping at least three bucks a pot. So yeah, I was rooting for him to win every hand.

For a short-handed game, there was decent action, with the sad side effect of players getting busted out. That's no good in the middle of the night when there is nobody around to replace them to keep the game going. So after an hour or so, I was rooting for the short stacks. You can always tell when somebody has had enough and makes their last buy-in.

What really killed the game was that the overtipping newbie had a wife lurking around who didn't play, and I guess she'd gotten her ass handed to her on the slots, so she kept coming around asking when they could leave. Ugh.

Can somebody please get her some free slot play, PLEASE!

Eventually, she wore him down and he decided to color up and call it a night. By itself, a big stack leaving the game can kill it, because then the short stacks have nothing to do but cannibalize each other. But what made it worse is when the big stacked overtipping newbie left, his brother, who was also in the game, picked up and left, too.

Sensing that the action was gone, one of the players decided that a quote from Rounders was appropriate.

In the poker game of life, women are the rake. They are the f*cking rake!

That met with general agreement around the table. By then it was just a matter of time before the game folded. A few minutes later, another guy dropped out, leaving four die-hards, and they managed to keep it together for about a half an hour until another player went broke. Once it got down to three handed, we don't take a jackpot rake, so the players aren't eligible for any jackpots. So the game died around 3:00 this morning.

It turns out that I made just enough to not have to stay up and run to the bank this morning. But it was close.

We closed down the room, and I punched out at 3:30. On my way past the security podium, the officer on post flagged me down and said that he had to ask me a question. I could see that he was busy typing up a report on the computer, and he asked me Hey, do you know how to spell 'feces'?

You mean like, as in, 'feces-flinging monkeys'?

No--like dog feces, he answered.

Had there been a camera handy, I would've looked directly at it with a WTF? look on my face, like Eddie Murphy in Trading Places when the Duke brothers were explaining the relationship between pork bellies and a BLT sandwich.

Oh, dog feces. That's D-O-G F-E-C-E-S.

Heh. I couldn't resist being a smartass. As he typed it in, I said Man, that must be one helluva after-action report you're writing! and just headed for the garage.

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some crackers, milk, and salsa, then came on home. I haven't been able to sleep since then, so I listened to two Adam Corolla podcasts (seriously, about the funniest shiat ever), washed the coffee pot, cleaned the mirrors in the bathroom, and I've been surfing the web ever since. Not much going on around here today.

Supposedly, Marcie is coming over to use the computer, but I don't think that's gonna happen till around noon. I guess I should try and get some sleep before then, but it's gonna be another gorgeous day in Vegas, and I want to go out and enjoy the sunshine. Maybe this afternoon. Right now, the bed feels pretty comfy.


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