And do you know who benefits from this? You--my loyal readers! So here we go, the random musings of my totally sober mind...
1) I think the UPS whiteboard guy is a pretentious turd who sits around in his spare time writing his own The way I see it quotes for Starbucks cups.
2) If a couple of preppie guys with sweaters tied around their shoulders are grilling ostrich burgers at a tailgate party, do you really believe for one second that they'd bring a cooler full of Miller High Life with them?
3) I've always thought that global warming was a hoax used to push a social agenda, but if it's going to make all the Reese's melt, I'm willing to listen.
4) I know it'll probably lower my IQ about a dozen points, but I'd kinda like to see that new Max Payne movie. We all have guilty pleasures, like chocolate, trashy novels, or sniffing magic markers. I like Markie Mark movies.
5) How bad do you think Fox Sports is hoping for a Boston/LA World Series? That's why I'm rooting for Tampa. And I didn't know Tim McCarver's corpse was still alive.
6) I was stuck with only ONE early game to watch this morning--Bears at Falcons. What's up with that? I thought it would suck, but damn, what a great game!
7) I noticed that the lady with two faces on the Southwest commercial also has two sets of boobs. I bet she'd be fun to slow dance with.
8) I wonder if OJ will be able to pick up a few extra bucks over the next several years by autographing the license plates he makes.
9) If chicken-fried bacon is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
10) You know it's been far too long since your last meal if a scented candle makes your stomach growl.
11) At what point are you officially too old to wear your cap backwards? How old is Tony Romo?
12) Holy shiat--The Rams actually won today! On the road! Excuse me while I peek out the window to see if the four horsemen are saddling up. If the Apocalypse doesn't happen tonight, I'm proudly wearing my Rams fleece jacket to work all week.
13) I'm really digging Daniel Craig as the new James Bond. Roger Moore was totally ghey, and nobody's afraid of Pierce Brosnan.
14) Do that many people really drink Miller Lite? Every time I have a sip of it, I think to myself Damn, that horse needs to get it's kidneys checked.
15) Jack Bauer is coming back. Oh hell yeah. Time to feel good about killin' some bad guys.
16) Online poker account, Ameritrade account, Intrade account, savings account, 401k account. So far this year, only the poker account has made any money for me.
17) The crust on this Metro Pizza is better than I remember.
18) Trade of the day -- Short Obama '08 contracts at 79.30 per. Money, baby! I figure if I lose that one, cash flow will be the least of my problems.
19) Is there anything more entertaining that seeing somebody beat Phil Helmuth with an inferior hand? Man, what an asshat.
20) I'm beginning to think that everything tastes better when you add either vanilla, cinnamon, coconut, or bacon.
21) Whatever happened to Vinnie on American Chopper after he quit? I figured he'd get his own show or something.
22) That Around the Bend song on the new iPod Touch commercials is quite catchy. It makes me want to roller skate and blow bubbles.
23) I think I've discovered the ultimate combination of pleasure and pain--Getting a paper cut from a pizza box.
24) I've always had a hard time believing that a couple of the sounds that Elton John really likes are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike.
25) So now they've got Cialis for daily use. I believe they're test marketing it under the name "Eighth Grade".
26) In about sixty years, all the grannies at the nursing home are gonna have tramp stamps on their backs. That's gonna be weird.
Mikey
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