Late to the Party, Again

'Trendy' is not a word people would use to describe me. My wardrobe consists of shorts and Hawaiian shirts, dockers and oxfords, with a handful of funny-to-me t-shirts in the mix. That's about it. The last three cd's I've bought were of music released at least fifteen years ago. And I didn't even start liking Pearl Jam until about seven years after they got big and popular. I'm not what the Madison Avenue types call an 'early adopter'.

So it comes as no surprise that I have just recently discovered the following artist. About a month ago, I was sitting in a bowling alley, waiting for Falcon Rob to come join me for free booze. It was the company "Holiday Party", and they were holding it in a bowling alley. Speaks volumes, if you ask me. Two years ago, it was in the ballroom at Green Valley Ranch with ice sculptures and a string quartet. This year, in a bowling alley... WTF? But I digress. So I was sitting there at the bar, watching videos on the big screen TV, when this video came on:




I was mesmerized! I had no idea who it was, so I had to watch all the way to the end to find out. In the meantime, I was just blown away at the direction and 'cinematography', if you will, of the video. It's amazing. (If you click on the video, it'll take you directly to YouTube, where you can see it with better resolution) I'm certainly no expert on music videos, but I know "good" when I see it, and this one ranks right up there with George Michael's Freedom 90 video. Not only that--it's just a damn good song!

Being a history buff, the 1940's/WWII era is endlessly fascinating to me, and I've always thought that of any decade in history, that's when the styles of dress and hair were the most attractive, at least to me. Granted, this video is a very loose interpretation/homage to that era, but damn, I was hooked.

When I finally realized that it was Christina Aguilera, I was shocked. Back in 2002 or so, before we knew what bat-shiat crazy disease-addled slatterns that Brittney and Lindsay were, I thought the title of Queen Skizank belonged to Christina Aguilera.

Holy shiat. Let me be the first to admit that I was totally wrong. My opinion of her has done a complete 180, and she gets a coveted spot on my laminated list! Of course, she had done a complete and total image makeover in the past couple of years, and I'm ok with that. Whatever she's doing, it's working--it's got me all hot and bothered.

Not knowing anything about the music the kids were listening to, I used to kind of think that her and Gwen Stefani were basically formed from the same cookie cutter (even though I had that first big No Doubt cd), BUT, Gwen Stefani is now persona non grata in my book just because she has released three of the dumbest f*cking songs I have ever heard.

Seriously--I view her as a no-talent assclown, just like Michael Bolton.

Anyhow, enough talk about my Christina-crush. Let me show you the goods:







Those are nice photos, to be sure, but madre de dios, this pic should make all you children of the Seventies do a collective gasp and wonder Farrah who?


If that's not enough, here's an extremely not safe for work pic that makes me want to work at Disneyland--You've been warned!

Word around the campfire is that she's married now, but you know how them Hollywood relationships last--If it doesn't work out, I'm here in Vegas--she knows where to find me.

By the way, does anyone know if I can still call her a Sugar Mama if she's younger than me? Could we get a ruling on that?

Mikey