My hump day is finally over--and it was all I could do to make it. Yes, I'm still feeling miserable, necessitating another trip to the drugstore after work. I'm sure that a couple of days of rest combined with a liberal dose of the hot tub would work wonders on my system. But there is no rest for the weary, as not only do I have to work the next two nights, I'm scheduled to deal dice both times. Ugh. Not that I don't like dealing dice--it's a nice change of pace, and it beats the hell out of dealing blackjack. But I *know* it's gonna damn near kill me to spend eight hours at the craps table tonight, especially if I'm not feeling any better.
It's a tough way to spend eight hours when you're sick. I'm not looking forward to it at all.
Last night wasn't too bad, though. I was on my favorite string of games again, made a bunch of money for myself and my co-workers, and actually had a few laughs. There was on guy at the Deuces Wild table that everyone seemed to think looked just like Alec Baldwin, and I thought there was a mild resemblance. The table was full, and everyone was cracking jokes and tossing out movie lines and song lyrics the whole time, making the hour fly by.
Anyhow, 'Alec' had been there for about four hours, and it was getting late in the evening, almost towards the end of my shift. He'd switched from drinking Newcastle to just sipping on black coffee. Anyhow, he was at 'first base' on the table, meaning he was first to act. So after I dealt all the cards out, he didn't pick his up right away, and instead took a sip of coffee, forcing the other players to wait for him. No big deal, it was a fun group, but I tossed out the most appropriate movie line I could come up with, going Glengarry Glen Ross on him--
PUT that coffee down! Coffee is for closers!
That caused instant pandemonium at the table--he damn near spit out his drink, and everybody else just cracked up. I guess you had to be there, but it was funny as hell. And I was buried under a cloudburst of tokes as well, as everyone giggled throughout the rest of the hand, repeating the line several times.
There was also some great entertainment early on in the evening. I was the 'relief' dealer on my string, meaning I took the first twenty minute break after assuring that the other three dealers had shown up and were at the proper tables. So I was walking from the pit back to the break room, when I saw some dude come running through the main pit with a couple of cops and security guards chasing him. He made it to the first bank of video poker machines just past the Baccarat tables when a security guard cut him off and tackled him right there on the marble floor, about five feet past where the carpet ended.
That had to hurt.
Well, he was struggling and putting up a fight, and the cops told him to stay down. But he kept fighting and as soon as he regained his feet, out came the stun gun.
ZAP!
Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!
Heh. A small crowd had started to gather at this point, and all activity at the nearest tables had ceased. But they got the cuffs on him and the zip-ties around his ankles, and proceeded to drag him out. I'm guessing they also tested to see if they could open the front door with his head shortly after that.
I wondered what he had done, because whenever there is a chase scene in the casino, 1) The cops aren't there until after it's over, and 2) the perp is always running away from the cage--this one seemed to be running towards it. I found out later that the dude had stolen a car, the cops were chasing him, and so he pulled into the parking lot, hoping to lose them in the crowded casino. But they had radioed our security guys as soon as he drove on property, so they were kinda ready for him.
Since it happened right at the beginning of my shift, I just knew I was in for an interesting evening.
Another great thing happened on one of my Pai Gow tables later on--I kicked the ever-livin' shiat out of one of our super-fleas that I just can't f*cking stand. In fact, every dealer in the joint hates this guy and loves to bust him. When I walked up to the table, I saw his stupid ass sitting there and I immediately lost whatever spring was in my step at the time. Geez I hate that guy. I don't know how I dodged him last night, because the dude never takes a day off. Anyhow, I had the sublime pleasure of busting his ass on every hand. It was a thing of beauty--he didn't win or push a single time. But the best part is this--he's one of those players who takes a shot at the game every time he plays, and I'm always looking to catch him doing something that'll get him 86'd.
He usually plays the Fortune Bonus for $5 per hand, but his main bet for just $10. So whenever he wins a hand, I pay him $9.50. He always pockets the change, but after he wins, on the following hand, instead of betting $5 on the Fortune Bonus, he only bets the four white dollar chips I just paid him.
However, most dealers are lazy and leave the 'Envy Bonus' lammer out on the table in front of him, and since he always sits in seat two, he's hoping that somebody in seat six or seven gets an Envy Bonus and the dealer forgets that he didn't qualify for it. But I watch his ass like a hawk, because I'm onto him.
So he pulled that shiat again tonight, and I yoinked the envy bonus lammer away from him as soon as I saw that he'd only put up four bucks instead of five. And as luck would have it, he had a crummy hand, while I had two pair, so I beat him, of course. And one of our better players on seat seven just happened to get a Straight Flush for a $250 payout. Well, whenever that happens, whoever was playing the Envy Bonus during the hand gets $20.
Everyone else at the table was eligible except for him, so when I made the payouts, I acted like I was going to give him twenty bucks worth of chips, but then I stopped short, saying "Oh, I'm so sorry Robert, you only bet four bucks that time--I guess you don't get an envy bonus..."
Heh. That made my night.
The next hand was his last, as he went all-in. I ended up having three pairs, Kings on top with sixes and threes on the bottom. He had Queens on top and Aces on the bottom, and I could barely contain my laughter when I took the last of his money and saw him shuffle off towards the exit.
Unfortunately, that three pair cleared everyone else off the table too--my cards were falling just a little too hot and chased away my good players, too. I hate when that happens.
But other than that, I was busy for the rest of the night. So busy in fact, I couldn't get the half-hour early push that I was hoping for. I had to stay till the bitter end, finally punching out around 3:00 am, and headed for the store once again to buy some more powerful medicine. I also picked up some sausage links (I've got a bunch of blueberry pancake mix in the cupboard, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day!) and a can of cashews to munch on during the game this afternoon. I also grabbed another 12-pack of that new Vanilla Coke Zero. I'm not sure yet if I like that better than Diet Coke with Lime, but it's pretty damn good. I think if they ever came out with Coke Zero with Lime, then I'd be set.
But now the drugs are kicking in, I've gone almost five minutes without coughing, and my nose is starting to get unstuffed for the first time in the past ten hours without the aid of wasabi paste. I guess it's probably a good time to try and get some sleep.
Y'all have a great day!
Mikey
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