Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Baby It's Cold Outside

Holy crap it's cold here! Right now it's a balmy 51 degrees here in America's Playground, and I am curled up in bed with my sleeping bag over my head, sipping coffee, and typing with fingerless gloves, like a bum you'd see under a bridge somewhere (if the bum had a laptop and a wireless internet connection).

It was even colder earlier this morning, around 3:30 am, when I put on a flannel shirt, my hoodie, and swim trunks and scurried on down to the hot tub. Yep, I checked before I went outside--31 degrees!

But the hot tub had lots of inviting steam wafting across the surface (as did the semi-heated swimming pool), so I pushed the button, kicked off my flip-flops, pulled of the hoodie and shirt at the same time, and hopped into the hot water, where I immediately immersed myself all the way to my neck. And I stayed that way until the water stopped bubbling.

It felt great on my back, but getting out, drying off, and heading back to the apartment a half-hour later was an exercise is near-freezing suckitude. What makes it even worse is that once I got back to the house, I went to change out of my wet trunks and put on some warm clothes, but due to the trendy architecture of my apartment, my walk-in closet is exposed to the elements on three sides and is inadequately insulated, so opening the door to my closet is kind of like walking into an industrial sized refrigerator. Instead of fruits, veggies, and meat on the shelves, it's my clothes that are kept fresh and crispy. I found a flannel shirt and some jeans, and after just a few minutes of wearing them, the chill had worn off, somewhat.

Since I was still wide awake, and sort of hungry, I decided that I'd make the donut run and head for Dunkin Donuts over in Silverado Ranch. (BTW, no side-by-side comparison to Krispy Kremes. I don't do that for pizza, and again, it was so cold outside that I just wanted to get home, so there was only one stop this morning).

Anyhow, I found the newest Dunkin Donut shop over on Bermuda and Silverado Ranch, scarily close to the old 'stripper house'. It was too early to use the lobby, but the drive-thru is open 24 hours, so I got a half dozen for around five bucks.

First of all, the store is damn near impossible to get to if you're not heading north on Bermuda, due to the divided roads and big honkin' 'NO U-TURN' signs everywhere I wanted to make one. Seriously, I had to go about a half-mile out of my way in order to turn around and get to the parking lot entrance. Not convenient at all, even when there is no traffic. I'd hate to try and get in there during rush hour, because half of Vegas lives in that neighborhood.

Anyhow, once I finally got to the window, I ordered a couple of glazed, a jelly, Boston Creme, a chocolate cake version, and something else I can't quite remember. I drove straight home, poured a glass of milk, and set upon my 'research' (because there is nothing I won't do for my readers!).

The first thing I noticed, is that the donuts were much smaller than I remember. (I haven't bought donuts in years, but I don't think my hands have grown that much). Secondly, the donuts were just... ok. Not that great. I think my initial reaction was, Feh.... Maybe it's just because I don't really like donuts all that much. I'm like Homer Simpson in a lot of ways, but that's not one of them.

I think I was 'over' donuts about a year ago when I fetched a box of Krispy Kremes and coffee one morning at New York New York for Sticky. We sat there in the hotel room eating them, and I distinctly remember thinking that 1) I was enjoying the coffee more than the donut, and 2) the donuts were waaaay too sweet for me, and not really filling at all. I thought that might just be the KKD's, but the Dunkins are pretty much the same, as far as I can tell. They were good, but certainly not worth breaking the law for, making an illegal u-turn and such. Although, the chocolate fudge cake donut this morning was truly awful. I took two bites and threw it away. The Boston Creme was good, and so was the glazed. Haven't touched the jelly one yet.

The verdict: Not bad, but I just don't much care for donuts. Won't be going back.

After that little culinary distraction, I watched a bit of TV, surfed the net for awhile, and then basically tried to get a little sleep. I woke up to hear the doorbell ringing, and it was the UPS man again.

This time the packages were for me, instead of Rob, one from DeeDee in The O.C., and another from Lisa in Mass. That's right--the ladies are takin' care of me today! DeeDee's present was wrapped, so it's under the tree, but Lisa sent along the James Lileks book, Gastroanomolies, and the Dead Man's Chest DVD from my wish list.

Thank you, ladies--I'm sending much love your way! (Lisa--email me, I don't have your addy). Hope y'all both have a wonderful Christmas.

But it was still cold outside, so after opening the boxes, I retired back to my nice warm nest to read the Gastroanomolies book. Oh my god, I've never seen such awful-looking food in my entire life. And I eat in the employee cafeteria five nights a week! It's a fun, and interesting, read. And it makes those crappy donuts I ate this morning look like the greatest thing to ever hit a plate.

As far as the rest of the afternoon is concerned, I think I'm gonna just hole up here until around 6 pm, when Lars Vargas makes another appearance and we head down to Fremont Street for another evening of microbrews and cigars. And maybe some touristy picture-taking, too.

Excuse me while I step into my walk-in and fetch a sweater and pair of slacks from the produce shelf.

Mikey

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