Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Dirty Little Secrets

  • I have never read a single Harry Potter book or seen any of the movies.
  • I didn't get my first tattoo until I was 33 years old. Of course, I took my underage niece and her fake ID to get one at the same time. Because uncles are cool like that.
  • I have no idea how to play backgammon. Or Bridge. Do people still play that?
  • Sometimes I put non-recyclables into the recycle bin just to annoy the lib-tards.
  • I prefer cats over dogs. Only because they take care of themselves and I'm lazy.
  • I wore either a Styx or Rush black concert shirt to school at least once a week for the entire ninth grade.
  • I hate grunge rock and believe it is the antithesis of music.
  • I sometimes pretend I'm checking messages on my phone to avoid small talk in the break room at work.
  • I also pretend I'm deaf when I'm outside of the pit and walking through the casino, like I have a portable cone of silence surrounding me. I'm loud and outgoing and funny while I'm on the table. Otherwise, I'm pretty much a misanthrope until I'm off-property.
  • I've never been inside Slots-o-Fun.
  • I get more compliments on my TAG body spray from dudes than I get from chicks. So it's probably time to go back to wearing Obsession instead.
  • I have bet on NBA games, also. Oh, but I don't officiate them, so I guess it's ok...
  • Somewhere out there, there is a video of me playing lead guitar for a band called 'Dirty Little Secret' at an outdoor street festival. Included is some footage of us playing a medley of 60's surf tunes, and just as I rip into a solo, a dude on a bicycle rides past the front of the stage, causing me to totally f*ck up.
  • As much as I've tried, I've never quite developed a taste for Scotch.
  • Jazz. I just don't get it.
  • Same goes for Pink Floyd.
  • I think Cajun food is overrated.
  • I love the smell of pipe and cigar smoke, yet detest the smell of cigarettes.
  • I can't tell the difference between pine needles and rosemary.
  • I bought a term paper in high school for $15 that the guy had gotten a C+ on. I retyped it and resubmitted the exact same paper the next semester and got a B+ on it. Heh.
  • Currently, my favorite joke is What has nine arms and sucks? (Def Leppard!) I love telling that one whenever something stupid like Pour Some Sugar On Me comes on in the casino.
  • A close second is whenever somebody walks up and asks me "What is Mini Pai Gow?" I tell then that it's Chinese poker for midgets.
  • I'm giddy with excitement that NFL training camps open this Friday. And college football kicks off in less than six weeks.
  • I like Leno better than Letterman.
  • Sex in the City bored the absolute shiat out of me. So did Six Feet Under.
  • I used to drink Miller High Life. I thought it tasted better than Budweiser and it was only $4.99 for a twelve-pack back of bottles in the mid-90's.
  • Touch of Grey is the only Grateful Dead song on my iPod.
  • I spent about three minutes this afternoon thinking about what it would taste like to mix tequila and Sunkist.
  • I spent another minute or so thinking how bad it would be to puke it back up.

That should be enough for now. I don't want to give away too much personal info...


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