Please Just Stop Talking!

I know that a lot of guys think that Jessica Simpson is the Hottest Think to Walk the Earth, but frankly, I just don't see it. Yes, she is mildly attractive, but I had to dig five pages into the Google Image Search before finding a photo of her that didn't make her look like she was put together from spare parts. (Who am I kidding, given half the chance, I'd hit it until the stick breaks...). But talented isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe her, either. I don't listen to anything that could be considered pop music these days, but what I've heard from her, I've been less than impressed with.

But the one thing that really makes my ears bleed is that god-awful pseudo-Southern accent she uses in her Daisy Duke role for the the Direct TV commercial that they just won't quit showing during football games.

Normally, I love a good Southern accent when accompanied by an attractive gal. But hers is so fake and contrived that as an Honorary Southern Gentleman, I must insist that she stop pretending right now. She is not a debutante by any stretch of the imagination--Reese Witherspoon would kick her ass without the help of any of her sorority sisters, and Britney Spears is the original White Trash Hottie, so Miss Jessica needs to get back to just being a ditzy California blonde with huge teeth and big boobs, making us laugh about her views on Chicken of the Sea and Buffalo wings while we sneak peeks at her cleavage. Leave the Southern accents to the experts, otherwise you come off as a no-talent skank.

Oh wait...

Mikey