Getting to Know You, Christmas 2006 Edition

This survey landed in my mailbox this week, with a few funny replies from some of my family members. Here's my response:

1) Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Egg Nog--with a generous pour of Captain Morgan Silver included.

2) Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree? Oh, he absolutely wraps them. And uses enough tape to seal the Mexican border. Not only that, every little thing in my stocking is giftwrapped too. I gotta tell you, there is nothing more enjoyable than spending five minutes unwrapping a new toothbrush or a pack of AA batteries!

3) Colored lights or white on the tree or house? It's a rental, so none go on the house. When I had my own house, I got in touch with my white trash roots and used the colored ones with huge bulbs, and tried to leave them up until February just to piss off the busybodies in the homeowners association. Although, now I think I'd prefer plain old white on the house, and the color assortment on the tree.

4) Do you hang mistletoe? Only from my belt buckle...

5) When do you put your decorations up? Day/weekend after Thanksgiving. The tree usually goes up the first Saturday in December.

6) What is your favorite holiday dish, excluding desserts? Our traditional breakfast of Danish Ebelskivers, bacon, and Orange Julius. Been eating it on Christmas morning for as long as I can remember.

7) Favorite Holiday memory as a child? I'd have to say it was going out in the woods with my dad and cutting down a Christmas tree, bringing it back and decorating it with the family while listening to all those old MoTab Christmas albums.

8) When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I accidentally took a nap on Christmas Eve afternoon, so I couldn't sleep (even more than usual) that night. And I heard my mom and sister Sherry getting a huge box of presents down from the attic--swearing at each other, grunting and carrying on like a couple of old women.

9) Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yep--family tradition dictates that everyone opens one present on Christmas Eve. It's usually something lame like a sweater or socks--nothing you could ever want to stay up playing with.

10) How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Not quite sure what you mean... No "theme" like in department store displays. But usually there is eggnog, booze, and Christmas music involved.

11) Snow. Love it or dread it? Don't wanna see any snow here in Vegas, but when I visit Tennessee, I'd love to have it snow on Christmas Eve.

12) Can you ice skate? Hell no. But I can cross check, high stick, and fight!

13) Do you remember your favorite gift? As a kid, I begged and begged for a GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip. I finally got one for Christmas. More recently, my sister Amy had an old 'treasure map' of the Caribbean glassed, matted, and framed in bamboo. It was the coolest thing I've gotten lately.

14) What is the most important thing about the Holidays to you? No question--being able to be with my family. With five brothers and sisters, spouses, nieces, step-siblings, parents, and whatever strays we bring home, the holidays are always a blast. I always laugh myself silly and have a great time with the family. It's the best.

15) Favorite Holiday Dessert? Mom's Peanut Butter Balls. Soooo good, and watching Amy and Reverend Dave chase each other around the house stealing them from each other is always great fun.

16) What is you favorite holiday tradition? Gathering on Christmas Eve with the entire family, listening to the music, watching the lights on the tree, drinking eggnog, and just enjoying the holiday for a couple of hours with the people I love the most. Christmas Eve is magical in our home.

17) What tops your tree? An electric star. I was tempted to say the left-front wheel hub from Dale Earnhart's race car, but I think Reverend Dave stole it back...

18) Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Giving! In fact just the other day I gave my first gift of the season and I couldn't stop smiling about it for hours. I love it when times are really good and I can go all-out for everyone. Nothing is more fun than seeing the look on somebody's face when they get something they mentioned in passing months before... Of course, everyone likes to get stuff too, and opening the odd present or two is always nice.

19) What is your favorite Christmas song? To sing, well, no question, Elvis' Blue Christmas. But my favorite songs to listen to are Jimmy Buffet's A Sailor's Christmas or Tender Tennessee Christmas by Alabama (always makes me sad when I hear it and I'm not around the family). I also really dig Perry Como's Home for the Holidays.

20) Candy Canes--Yuck or Yum? I got no problem with Candy Canes. But they better be peppermint. None of that fruit-flavored shiat.

21) What is on your wish list for Christmas? A Red Ryder BB Gun, of course! Actually, if you scroll down a few posts, you'll see my list. But the ultimate prize would be a week's vacation, round trip tickets to Nashville, and about a thousand bucks to spend on presents for everyone.

Mikey