What Shall We Talk About...?

Good morning, everyone. Happy Monday and all that... I hope you all had a good weekend, recharging the batteries and such before heading back to your cubes for the week.

My weekend was rather dull, to be honest. I was on-call both Saturday and Sunday, and--shocker--I wasn't called in either day. I'm actually scheduled to be off today, so as it stands, I have a three-day weekend. But, since I paid off all the bills, got gas, and went grocery shopping, well, there ain't a whole lot of extra scratch left over for entertainment purposes.

After spending Friday night unpacking my new toys and hooking up electronics, Saturday was quite uninteresting. I think the highlight of the night was that I spent some time with my nifty tool kit, hanging and leveling pictures. Hell, I even measured the wall space for a couple of them so that they'd look more centered at first glance. I also did a bit of laundry and changed the sheets on my bed, which is rather important information to share... (this is what English teachers call 'foreshadowing')

Once my household improvement projects were done, I spent several hours watching all of the recorded episodes of the World Poker Tour that I had yet to see, and at some point around midnight I dozed off. I woke up about 3:00 am just frozen in place, thinking Holy shiat, this bed should not be this uncomfortable! I can't move! What the hell is going on?

I grunted a bit, rolled over (my arm was asleep), and then realized what a dumbass I am. Reaching under the sheet, I pulled out my hammer and tape measure! Yep, when I put down the clean top sheet on the bed, I wasn't paying attention to the tools sitting off to one side, and just covered them up. And when I was watching TV later on, I was lying on the other side of the bed. At some point in the middle of the night, I rolled over and just remained asleep on top of them, oblivious to the discomfort until a couple of hours later.

Further proof that I probably shouldn't be allowed out in public unsupervised unless I'm wearing a bicycle helmet or a large warning sign...

Being stuck in the house for three days straight did not appeal to me in the least, and I had to get out or go stir crazy. Oh sure, I had gone to the store and gas station, but that doesn't really count as 'getting out'. So last night, I pulled a few twenties out of my secret stash and headed down to the Sahara, sans bicycle helmet and warning labels... Word around town is that they put on a really good daily tournament, and if you can get down to the final four, there are usually enough entrants that you can chop it up and walk away with about a thousand dollars each.

I played in one of their tournaments about a year ago when Eddie was here, but I didn't like it at all because they offered unlimited re-buys in the first hour. And if I recall correctly, I believe I was pissed that a guy I had knocked out twice ended up knocking me out after the re-buy period was over, or something along those lines. I don't recall the exact details, but I remember hating the format. So I was a little hesitant to go this time around, but I had been assured that they have made positive changes in the past year.

So I got down there about 20 minutes before the thing started, and I was already the 65th person to sign up. That sounded promising. And I had thought that the tourney was a $60 buy-in, but I was mistaken--it only cost $45 to buy in, which got me $4000 in chips, but then there was an option to re-buy once in the first hour, but if you did so, you only got $2000 more chips. That, I thought, was a brilliant idea, because then almost everyone would do it regardless of if they busted out or not, and it would add a lot of juice to the prize pool. So far, I was likin' what I saw.

As soon as I got my seat assignment, a line formed at the desk and there were well over a hundred entrants. What was interesting about it was that it was a virtual Who's Who of the Unknown Vegas Poker World. Yep--I saw a *lot* of familiar faces--a lot of grinders that I've seen all over town for the past year, a few folks who I deal to every week, and a whole lot of dealers and floorpeople from other properties. It was almost like another Industry Night tournament.

I figured I would do well, and I wasn't disappointed by the amount of jackassery I saw on display when it came to some of the hands I saw called down. Oh good lord, there were some bad players at my table. Luckily, I managed to rake a good pot when I had top pair, overcard kicker, and both straight and flush draws, and some doofus called me all the way down. Unfortunately, I didn't make my flush draw, else I would've doubled up because he was chasing a (much lower) flush, too.

After that, I spent the next hour just folding crappy cards and listening to all the wannabe 'pros' sniping at each other. I swear, it's some of the best entertainment in Vegas watching some of these people play poker--they all think that they're so good at reading their opponents that it's just cringeworthy listening to them as a detached spectator. Normally, at the poker table, I'm outgoing and gregarious, laughing it up and joking around, but at a table with a bunch of sunglass wearing morons, I am stone-cold silent the entire time, just watching and plotting. The happy side effect of playing with a table full of jackasses is that when I'm 'in my shell', they all think I'm an uber-rock and only raise when I've got the goods, so I get away with a lot more bluffs than I should. Almost to the point of recklessness.

Almost...

On the other hand, I've learned that when you're early in a tournament and you've got a table full of idiots that will run you down, you've got to play it like it's a low-limit cash game--slow down, play only big cards, and don't try any of the fancy stuff--it doesn't work with people who will call anything.

So, just before the break, I was in early position and I looked down to see my nemesis, Ace-Queen. Having not played a hand in about two orbits, I figured it was time to raise it up. The blinds were at 100/200, so I raised it up to $650. I got one caller, and the flop came out Queen - Ten - Three, all different suits. The other guy had position on me, so I bet a thousand dollars. He called. The turn was a rag, and I bet another $1300 to put my opponent all-in. Of course he called, and showed a ten-three offsuit, having flopped two pair.

I had him covered by about 3-1, but damn, I just sat there shaking my head in disbelief that somebody would call a $650 bet cold with nothing but 10-3 in his hand. And you know I wouldn't be sharing this story if the river brought me any help...

Once the hand ended and the pot was pushed, the gal next to me leaned over and said I'll bet you a dollar that you outlast that guy...

Heh. Probably a safe bet, and instead of throwing a Helmuth-style tantrum along the lines of How could that idiot make a call like that before the flop?!?!????, I just shook my head and figured that it was somebody else's turn to run hot. And even after that beat, I was still above-par for the tournament.

Just before the break, they raced off all the $25 chips, and then we had ten minutes to stretch, pee, and eat. They brought in a couple of trays of big sub sandwiches, catering style, so I had two inches of sandy for dinner.

Once the first break was over, there were no more re-buys, so the bust-outs started coming fast and furious. When I was under-the-gun, I folded my hand, and the guy on the big blind went all-in and lost. So on the next hand, there was no small blind, just me and my big blind against eight opponents. I was hoping to get a walk, but no, one guy raised it up, barely, just doubling my blind. I had a suited King - Queen, so I called.

The flop came out King - Deuce - Queen, with two diamonds. I made a healthy raise, and my opponent went into the tank for a few seconds, then asked me how much I had left. He had me covered, and I was thinking that I was about to double up. He waited a few seconds more, staring me down, and finally said I put you all-in. I couldn't get my chips out there fast enough, thinking this guy was on a draw again, trying to steal the pot.

Imagine my dismay when I saw that he didn't have any diamonds, but pocket deuces.

I sent Dougie a single-word text message -- Doh!

Yep, I busted out again, so far from the money that I couldn't even sniff it. The bad thing was, I only played about eight or nine hands in an hour-and-a-half and I thought I was playing pretty well. But like Andy Dufresne once said, bad luck has got to land on somebody. This has just been my fortnight...

However, thinking about my last few bust-outs, I had an epiphany that hit me like a ton of bricks. Once I can formulate it into a couple of coherent paragraphs, I may share it with you. But it was so simple and obvious, I'm almost ashamed to admit the realization.

Anyhow...

On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a couple of things I'd forgotten the other day -- fresh spinach leaves, mushrooms, black olives, sun-dried tomatoes, milk, some of that crazy-hot Thai pepper sauce, and some of that unnaturally-square ham to chop up and put in a salad.

I got a few hours of sleep, but woke up about an hour ago. Right now, I'm enjoying a peaceful morning with a cup of coffee from my brand new coffee maker, listening to the rain outside making my truck even dirtier. I have absolutely nothing on my agenda for today, although, that damn bookshelf is still down in the cab of my truck where it's been riding for the last week or so. Eventually it'll find it's way upstairs, but today's not looking good...

Mikey