The New Specs

So, I've been wearing my new glasses for two days now. I'm slowly getting used to them, but I've realized a few things--they are made for long-distance viewing only. Trying to look at the time on my cellphone or write stuff while wearing them is kind of a pain in the ass. I have to take them off for up-close stuff. Also, when walking, they gave me a mild case of vertigo the first few times, making the floor seem much closer than it was.

Other than that, everything else is cool. I love being able to read road signs at night and see if the hot chick on the other side of the casino is really a hot chick and not just a skinny biker dude. Oh, and when I'm sitting at the Pai Gow tables, I can actually read the scores on the TVs in the bar now, too.

Anyhow, here are my new glasses, without my face detracting from their beauty:


And here is a picture of me wearing them. Not the most flattering image in the world--seriously, you probably shouldn't accept candy from somebody who looks like this. But I have an excuse--I just got home from a long night of work, and I've got eight hours of casino funk on me, plus I haven't seen the sun in months.

This one is better, it's my obligatory 'Flounder' pose.

Since I've been wearing them, I've gotten lots of compliments, even a few backhanded ones. One of the gals on the dice crew said Hey Mikey, nice glasses! You look really smart now. If you don't say anything, nobody will ever know otherwise...

Yeah, ok...

Actually, everyone seems to like them, and even Rob said so last night when he saw me wearing them for the first time. And I like the fact that I can now see about a thousand percent better. (Actually, my prescription is fairly mild, but to me it makes a helluva difference!)


Another benefit I've discovered is that when I wear the glasses at the table, they block about 95% of the second-hand smoke I encounter, and my eyes don't burn at all, even after spending an hour dealing blackjack to a bunch of rude f*cking pig Italians Europeans. Seriously, WTF is up with people from that sunny peninsula? They are damn good-looking people, but the have the worst farking manners I've ever encountered.

I'm talking about first-generationers here, not Italian-Americans. And don't even get me started on the ones I see on cruise ships, wandering around the entire ship in their raisin-smuggler Speedos...

Anyhow, sorry about that. I didn't mean to get off on a tangent...

The bottom line is, I'm very pleases with my new specs. They make me look good, and see better.

Mikey