Fumes

Woo Hoo! I finally made it to my weekend! Actually, work was pretty enjoyable this week--a side effect of my income going up, I suppose. But the truth is, I spent the last four out of five days dealing my favorite string of games, I had fun players for the most part, I completely wiped out one of our most annoying asshats one night, and we made much better money than usual.

On the other hand, I got a huge serving of Karmic payback last night, as I was sitting on one of the $10 Pai Gow tables and one of the casino hosts was standing behind me at the podium, using the computer terminal. And he let go a nasty gut-bomb, so intense that I actually heard it, and just crop-dusted that entire end of the pit as he made his escape. And I couldn't do a damn thing about it but sit there and take it. I guess I had that one coming to me after blaming that flea at the other Pai Gow table last week for the one I blasted.

Aside from the stanky gas-bombs, work has been great lately. Seriously, I can count on ONE hand all the days in 2007 that we made over $175 in tokes on a weekday. We've already had four or five so far this year. We didn't have a single day over $200 last calendar year--We've had one already this year (Saturday night before the Super Bowl) and a couple more tantalizingly close to that magic number this past week. If this is a 'weakened economy', then I'm all for it!

I know, I know, I feel bad for Rob getting laid off and missing out now that we're finally making decent money again. But he'll be fine. He's got a good personality, a calm demeanor, a good set of gaming skills, and he speaks almost perfect English. He won't be unemployed long. But one would have to be blind to not see how much better things are at work now that they've made their cuts. Morale is much higher. We seem to be much busier. And I think that the layoffs put the genuine fear-of-God into a couple of our sketchier co-workers who somehow managed to survive the purges.

But since then, I've been on a personal tongue-in-cheek crusade at work to bring Rob back and fire somebody else--another dealer who is a complete moron with questionable personal hygiene and poor customer service skills--and so far I have the support of pretty much everybody except the actual decision-makers.

Oh well, they can't get everything right.

Yeah, we still have a handful of dipshiats working behind the felt. For instance, I saw one of our more, ahem, 'experienced' dealers color a guy up at the blackjack table last night.

He had $1200 worth of green $25 chips.

As a dealer, when we run green chips down for the Eye, they have to be in stacks of four ($100) and rows of five stacks (20 chips, $500).

Well, this genius ran down three rows of four hundred (instead of two rows of $500, and an extra $200 on the side) and then she pulled out $3000 worth of pink five-hundred dollar chips, somehow in her demented brain thinking that his $1200 was worth three grand. Of course the player wasn't going to say anything--he almost got away with an extra $1800! But luckily the floorperson caught it. Although, a few of us were talking about it later, and we decided that it was probably worth seeing the house take an $1800 hit just so they'd have a good reason to fire her stupid ass.

Besides dealers who can't count, I'm constantly following dealers at the Pai Gow tables who don't know all the house ways as far as setting their hand, and have no clue on banking procedures. It's a real pain in the you-know-what, too, especially when players have been conditioned by the previous dumbass to expect the wrong procedures and rules.

But the ones I find the most infuriating at the ones who sit in the breakroom and do nothing but gossip and bitch. I have my own little circle of friends who I hang out with, but sometimes they're not on the same break schedule as me, and I find myself surrounded by idiots, kind of like last night. And it's not like I go and join them at the table, they seem to search me out... And they travel in pairs, too. I know it's going to be a long and miserable break when the first one starts out with "Did you hear what...." and of course the second one always replies with "Well, I heard that...." both of which are equally full of shiat and/or stupidity.

For instance, last night I was party to this little gem of wisdom as I sat at the table, drinking my orange soda and trying to enjoy a few minutes away from the games:

I heard that [our new casino director] was told that this was her last chance to get it together and turn things around or she's fired...

I couldn't believe the stupidity of that statement, and like Captain Barbossa, I don't suffer fools gladly, so I had to respond.

Really, somebody in Upper Management thought that it'd be a good idea to 1) Not only promote somebody from the crappiest casino in the empire to the third shiniest jewel in the crown because they were such a fuckup?, and 2) then decided that to provide that extra motivation, they'd just 'let it slip' to the front-line employees that this person wasn't really expected to stay long, that she was just a real-live Peter Principle experiment, I mean, since there aren't, like, millions of dollars at stake or anything. Really, is that what you heard? And you believed it?

Her shrugged response: Well, I never said I believed it...

SO THEN WHY THE F*CK ARE YOU SITTING IN HERE SPREADING IT AROUND LIKE IT'S THE GOSPEL TRUTH, DUMBASS?

I felt much better after that, and all conversation about our new casino director (who has made nothing but positive changes) ceased, and I got to enjoy my can of Tropicana Twister in peace.

Anyhow, since it was my Friday, and I was tired of listening to rumor-mongering fools, I took the opportunity to bail out an hour early, and I've been home ever since 2:30 or so. I made myself a bag of microwave popcorn and enjoyed a tall beverage made of Coca Cola, lime juice, and a spirit made of distilled sugar cane, coming together to create a tasty elixir which has fueled this wandering rant of a post.

My plan for today is to do a whole lot of not much, followed by an evening of fine food, tasty adult beverages, and good conversation for several hours with a couple of ladies. Yep, Mikey is playing Pimp Daddy tonight and going out with a couple of my lady friends. No, not *that* lady friend (you know, the one in the short skirt, low-cut top, high heels, carrying the drinks around in the casino who I have no shot with), but a couple of other gals I work with.

We've decided to get together and have a few drinks and laughs away from the prying eyes of the casino, where we can discuss the latest changes and such in an intelligent manner. And get blind stinking drunk, too.

So that's how I'm gonna spend my Tuesday. Sure beats workin'. At some point however, I've got to go fill up the gas tank. Otherwise I'm gonna be pushin' my truck to Grimaldi's tonight.

Mikey