Geez--like my family doesn't know me already--my inbox has filled up with this survey, two of them being from my sisters Amy and Cyndi, so I cannot further delay the inevitable. Here are my answers to the questions everyone seems to want to know.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ?
Rueben 'Hurricane' Carter.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The other night at work. Some old foga busted a rank-ass air biscuit at the dice table that made my eyes water.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Depends on the method of delivery. I'm pretty good with a ballpoint pen, a little worse with a roller-ball gel pen, and completely outside the lines with a spray can. But a Sharpie marker is my true medium, and my work on Angy's ass has been compared to the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH?
Toss up: Either Asian Nachos at the Grand Luxe Cafe, or a pepperoni and mushroom pie at New York Pizza & Pasta. Yellowtail sushi served on a naked model is also a nice treat, but it's not exactly on the menu down at Tokyo 2 Go.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
None that I'm aware of. Although I could be wrong, due to that one visit to the donation center back in college when I was a little short of tuition money...
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Absolutely. Everybody wants to party with Hurricane Mikey.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
I keep it under glass, which only gets broken in an emergency.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
I'm not sure. After I met that hot Asian gal at Tao that night and woke up in a tub of ice water the next morning, I don't know exactly which parts I may be missing.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Are you effin' kiddin'? The last time I got shackled by the ankles it didn't work out so good for me.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Probably Golden Grahams. But I usually keep Raisin Bran on hand.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
It depends on who's hotel room I'm staying in. You never know when you'll need to make a hasty exit...
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Strong like Bull!
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Either Breyer's Mint Chocolate Chip or the hippie's Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Cleavage. I don't notice dudes.
15. RED OR PINK?
What kind of question is this? Isn't the question supposed to be Red or White? And the answer depends on whether I'm having the surf or the turf.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My uncanny ability to remain in debt.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Probably Amy
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
No. I'm a misanthrope and don't care about any of you people.
9. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm currently sporting a pair of black Elvis boxers and no shoes. You feel like you know me now?
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Blueberry pancakes, maple sausage links, and orange juice.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
R. Lee Ermey on the History Channel interviewing Marines over in Jihadistan
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Hopefully white.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Campfire smoke, fresh-brewed coffee, bacon frying, walking in the front door at Treasure Island, stripper perfume.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
George the Big Stogie
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
I'd like 'em a lot better if they'd quit sending me this stuff... Heh.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
NFL. SEC Football. Cardinals baseball
27. HAIR COLOR?
Bald. And the carpet does *not* match the drapes.
28. EYE COLOR?
Dark brown
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope. But I sport the Beer Goggles on occasion.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
NY Style pizza, hazelnut coffee, grilled meat, breakfast.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Why, everyone loves a good happy ending, right? I'm no different.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Great Escape
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Autumn
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Whichever one leads to a Happy Ending.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Either tiramisu or pistachio gelato
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Dave P or Hoya
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND
That Chris guy
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
An Embarrassment of Mangoes
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Dust and crumbs
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
The Unit (on the dvr)
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Seven out! Line away...
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Stones, baby. Paul McCartney is the Devil.
44. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Standing on a glacier in the Yukon Territory.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can stick cans and bottles to my head. Everybody loves that trick.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
I was created in a lab. Obviously, the experiment was a success.
Mikey
PS Don't even THINK of copying/pasting/answering all of the questions in my comments section! I've got an itchy delete-button finger... I told you I was a misanthrope.
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