Hey everybody. Yep, I'm starting out another post with an apology for not having that much-anticipated trip report finished yet. (And you think I could ever become a 'professional' writer having to deal with deadlines? Oh yeah, keep dreamin'...).
The truth is, for the past few days I've actually considered shutting down this blog completely and taking a break from it. Right now life is *very* tough and most of my free time is spent hustling and shaking the trees for opportunities to earn much-need extra cash, but I just don't have that fire burning inside of me that I had two years ago when I first arrived in town.
I finally realized today what the bottom line is. I'm just suffering from a moderate case of depression at the moment. My job sucks and it's getting worse. The jobs that I'd like to do aren't readily available, and the stress of not just making a living, but getting out of debt and saving for the future weighs heavily upon me.
Also, once Sticky left, I was majorly bummed. I was very sad to see her go, and I was in a funk for a week after I dropped her off at the airport. But her March Madness plane tickets have since been bought, so at least a psychological barrier has been breached and I'm much happier now, knowing when I'll see her again for sure.
I also haven't been sleeping, eating, or accomplishing nearly as much as I'd like to. I've been walking around in an exhausted haze for the past week and a half, living on coffee and diet Coke. Luckily I'm not a smoker, or I'd be doing four packs a day. I've tried to put on a good face and grind it out lately, but the past few days have just tried my patience to no end. I've also been going to school during the day, and that cuts into my sleep time, while the rewards of that particular endeavor don't seem to be manifesting themself just yet, either.
Anyhow, there's the diagnosis.
In the middle of all this, I've been trying to finish that trip report, but my heart just hasn't been in it. What I've got so far is pure crap, and sitting here staring at the screen for hours at a time doesn't help. While I'm not quite to the breaking point like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, all of the little gnats of outside stresses buzzing around have kept me distracted enough that it's felt impossible to turn out any kind of quality narrative.
But I promised a report, so a report you'll get. As of this moment, I can offer you two out of three--lengthy, quick, or entertaining. I haven't yet figured out which two though. But I promise to keep working on it.
Anyhow, that's where I stand. I'm going to try and get some sleep for a few hours before heading back to school and practicing my craft.
And before I go, I also want to that all the donors that hit the tip jar this past week--I very much appreciate it, and I am beyond grateful. You guys are the reason I'm keep putting one foot in front of the other and not shutting it down. Thanks again.
I'll catch up soon.
Mikey
No comments:
Post a Comment