Ok, Since Josie Wants Me To Talk About Poker

... I'll talk about poker some more.

So yeah, I finally got a full-night's sleep after I put up that post last night, and woke up at 9:20 this morning. I live about 15 minutes from Green Valley Ranch (ten if I speed), so there wasn't much time for dilly-dally. I called James to see if he was still gonna play in the 10:00 am tournament, thinking I'd skip it if he did, but he said he was on his way out the door. I told him that I'd just woke up, but I'd hurry to get there.

I took a quick hooker-bath, brushed my teeth, walked through a cloud of Tag body spray, put on a clean shirt and some sandals, and I was out the door just a few minutes later.

Just as I was pulling into the Paseo Verde garage at GVR, I got a text message from James telling me that he bought me in. Of course he got me a seat at the same table as him, and of course he had the seat immediately to my left. No big deal, though.

Turns out that there were enough players for four full tables once we kicked it off. I like the structure they have there at GVR--$3500 in chips, 20 minute blinds that go up to half-hour after the break--it's decent for a small $40 buy-in cheapo tourney.

I doubled up early on when I slow-played a full-house and let my opponent make his 'nut' flush on the river. I just had to call when he went all-in. Since there were re-buys, I knocked another guy out twice in twenty minutes. Some folks just don't understand that you don't mess with the Mikey when he's holding the goods. After the second time, I asked him if he wanted to go for the hat trick...

I thought I was gonna chip up again a few hands later; I was on the button with Ace-Jack and it was folded around to me. I raised it 4x the blind, the small blind folded, and the big blind called. I was really hoping to snap him off because he was one of these guys who offered commentary on every hand, and once it got so tedious that James just said straight up "Hey, nobody asked you..." That quieted him for a few minutes, but still, I wanted to get him. The flop came out Ace-Jack-Four rainbow--Bingo for me! He checked, I bet $1200 and he immediately went all-in.

I couldn't help myself, so I called. He turned over Ace-Four, so I had him dominated with my top two pair! Of course he caught his two-outer Four on the river to make a full house, and I doubled him up. Grrrr. What made it even worse was that the rest of us had to listen to the replay for the next several minutes.

After that, he became a dick about it. On the next three orbits around the table, he over-raised on my big blind. Everyone else folded, and I had shiat cards every time, so he'd just smirk and take it down.

I won a few more pots after that, and regained my status as the chip leader at the table, with my nemesis having the second biggest stack. On one hand, I looked down to see a King-Queen of spades, so I limped in. There were a couple other players limping in, too, and one of them was the guy I was gunning for. The flop was nice--Ace, Six, Jack, and the two biggest ones were spades, giving me the Royal Flush draw. I was going nowhere. And since I was the chip leader I was fully prepared to call anyone who went all-in. All three players checked in front of me, so I took the free card, too.

The turn was a rag, and the dude with the big mouth led out for $1200. The other two players folded, and I made the call. The river was the Eight of spades, and my opponent hesitated for a minute, then looked at me and said If you want your chips back, here's your chance, I'm all in! He then sat back with a smug look on his face and crossed his arms, like he was daring me to call.

I paused for a second, took a peek at my hole cards again, and then said Yeah, I think I'll take them back... I call.

He turned over Jack-Eight for two pair and said Hah--I rivered ya!

I replied with Yeah it was a great river card for you, but I have the nuts...

As I turned over my cards, the entire table erupted in laughter and derision. Heh. He slammed his fist down on the table and walked away, giving me a dirty look. James had my back and tossed out the Don't go away mad--just go away! line, giving the rest of us a chuckle. The guy got exactly what he deserved, and suddenly I had a monster chip lead--like three times as much as the next biggest stack.

I ended up getting moved to another table, knocked out one guy, and just a few minutes later, I got moved back to my original table, but to a different seat. I still had a monster chip lead when we finally got down to the final table an hour later.

There were fifty entrants at $40 apiece, and as soon as we got to the final table, everyone wanted to chop. I refused to do that, but agreed to pay the sixth place finisher $45, fifteen bucks off of each of the top three prizes. So we played it down to six players, but I didn't win anything but the blinds for the next two orbits. I was card dead. Another guy knocked out two players and he passed me up for the chip lead--he had almost 50% more than me.

Everyone wanted to chop, but I really didn't want to. The chip leader said he'd take the top prize minus $200, and the rest of us could chop the rest (He'd get about $475, the rest of us would get $266). All the other players really wanted to do it, but I kinda wanted to keep playing--I knew I could get at least second place money unless I got spectacularly unlucky--but I was up against a table full of Station players--they don't really want to play, they just want to come in and get free stuff, so as soon as they get in the money, all they want to do is chop.

I relented, but I wasn't too happy about it. The short stack only had two big blinds left and we could've easily knocked him out and gotten a bigger share, but all those old codgers just wanted to chop and go chase the high-hand jackpots at the 2-4 grind. But hey, I made $226 for my efforts, so I can't complain too much.

So I cashed out, left $16 in the dealers tip jar, and headed for home. Actually, before coming home I stopped at the grocery store and bought a few things for tonight's poker game--a case of beer, stuff to make nachos, and a few other odds and ends. Everyone will be here in a couple of hours, so I've got to get crackin' and prepare the Batch Pad for visitors.

Y'all be cool.

Mikey