Friday, September 30, 2011

Power Picks

Ok, I know I promised to have my trip story posted, but y'all know how I get once I start writing--sometimes I just can't stop.  So yeah, it's going to be a long one, and it's still a work in progress.  And had there not been four absolutely amazing baseball games on all at the same time on Wednesday night, there would be even more progress.  But I was up late waiting for the Braves to lose, so I didn't get any writing done that night.  And on Thursday night I didn't turn on the TV at all, even though I've got a week's worth of new shows recorded on the DVR that I need to catch up on.  So I spent the whole evening at the keyboard, working on an interesting post for y'all.

Suddenly, around 11:00 at night, I realized that I didn't have my football picks done yet, either.  So here I am, staying up late on a school night, trying to get my 'homework' done, just because I'm committed to you folks (like anyone cares about my football picks, but hey, I have to stick with something to keep me posting on a regular basis). 

So here we go.  Remember, home team in CAPS. (And although it's not good form to gloat, lest the gambling gods smite thee, I can't help but strut my peacock feathers at my winning record.  I went 3-2 last week, giving me an overall 10-5-1 record for the season.  A few more weeks like that and I'm going to buy an Italian suit, a can of pomade, and a pinky ring)

Detroit  +1.5 over DALLAS  I'm still riding the Lions bandwagon, while Dallas doesn't look like they should be favored against anyone except the NFC West (which should be renamed the Bowl Season Big Ten, but the commish never returns my calls).  And as much as I want to dislike Romo, he's still pretty good when he doesn't have his head up his ass.  But oh dear lord that center sucks, which in turn makes the quarterback look like a doofus.  Remember how back in school at recess you had to let the 'special' kid play, so you always stuck him out in right field so he couldn't hurt your team?  Well, in the NFL, there really isn't a right field, and the Cowboys are stuck with Corky at center.  And he's going to be even more skittish than usual with Ndomicanhoweverthefuckyouspellit Suh charging across the line like an angry Forrest Whitaker playing for Ridgemont High.  I see a bunch of turnovers in this game, and on Monday morning, Jerry Jones will be giving Romo another vote of confidence.

Buffalo  -3 over CINCINNATI  There's an old cliche in the stock-trading world that says The trend is your friend, and while this is a textbook trap game after circling the wagons against the Patriots last week, I still think that the Bills are much more than a field goal better than the Bengals.  So of course I'm picking them to remain perfect.  I just can't see them losing their undefeated virginity to Cincy, or even letting them get to third base, which everyone knows is the innuendo equivalent of losing by a field goal.

CHICAGO  -6 over Carolina  I'm surprised that the Bears aren't favored by a full touchdown at home.  But then I remember that Mike Martz is the offensive coordinator and I hate myself for picking the Bears.  Yeah, I endured far too many seasons as a Rams fan watching him trying to convince the rest of the league of his genius, while refusing to utilize the running game.  However, they are playing the Panthers, and while Cam Newton is definitely more fun to watch than Jay Cutler (except when Cutler is getting sacked, that's almost as fun as seeing Tom Brady get turfed), I don't think that Carolina has enough horses to stay with the Bears.  Of course, if the Bears have twice as many pass plays as run plays, I reserve the right to take this pick back and join the Windy City Chorus demanding Martz's head on a platter.

Tennessee  +1 over CLEVELAND  As much as it pains me to do so, I'm picking the Titans in this one.  I'm a bit surprised at how well they're playing this year--I thought they'd be a stinker like KC or Indy has turned out to be, but they're doing pretty well after paying 'Truck Munt' that huge contract not to play very much (oh yeah, you've *got* to see the Chris Johnson commercial for the local Ford dealership out here--it just kills me.  Brothaman ain't the most articulate spokesmodel in the world).  I figure that the Browns might be just a bit better than the Broncos, and a whole lot worse than the Ravens.  Tennessee has beaten them both in the past two weeks, so that's my justification.

GREEN BAY  -12.5 over Denver  I'm gladly laying the points on this one, because Green Bay is a scoring machine and the Broncos are the perfect team for the Packers defense to make a statement against.  In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that if there's a shut-out this week, this is the game where it would happen.  (Oh wait, who are the Chiefs playing?)  Pack wins big this week.

Now, being that it's Friday, I won't be coming home tonight, so there won't be a new post up until Sunday night at the earliest, more than likely on Monday morning.  I'm heading over to the hippie's house for a night of buffoonery, then I have to work on Saturday.  Sunday is devoted to worshiping at the alter of the NFL RedZone channel, and oh by the way, my Cardinals have some baseball to play this weekend, too.

Peace out!



Josie said...

Goot picks my man. They mirror mine except I went with Cleveland over Tenn. Such a tough pick though.

Liz said...

Being a Packers fan, I want so badly to see the Bears lose. It would be HI-larious to have had the Packers beat the "almighty" Cam and then see the Bears get whooped by him. I know that is highly unlikely but I'll take the loss on that game if it does happen!!

par88 said...

Another winning week! Good job Mikey.