Monday, December 15, 2008

The Big Con

Man, I just got jacked. Seriously, I feel a little bit cheated right about now, and I'm none too happy about it. I was out and about running some errands, fighting the elements, spending some money, stimulating the economy, and I got taken advantage of.

It's kind of ironic, just because of our discussion the other day about the opposite of Buyer's Remorse. Well, that feel-good concept came to a crashing halt this afternoon.

So here's the story: While I was out spending money on a few necessities, I happened upon a display of holiday goodies. Now, I'm not really into Christmas candy so much--Mamasan's peanut butter balls are pretty much all I need. But I saw a handsome red tin box on the shelf, and one of my weird habits is that I get a kick out of containers. I usually keep shoeboxes, coffee cans, and weird shiat like that. And I really like little tin boxes, and although I don't collect them per se, I always keep them whenever I get one. Anyhow, the label said it contained English Toffee, and that was good enough for me, so I figured ten bucks was a fair price to pay for a cool box full of good candy.

Well, as soon as I opened it once I got home, I knew I'd been had.

Here is the package in question. I set it on top of my cable box so you could get an idea of the size. Pretty good deal, huh? A box that big, full of English Toffee, all for only ten bucks!

This is the bullshiat I encountered once I opened it--a big ol' plastic cushion surrounding the goods that took up over half the volume of the original packaging.

But wait, it gets worse! It doesn't look that bad lying down, but when you stand up the bag, you see that the bag itself is only half full. A total ripoff. I set a miniature bottle of Tabasco sauce next to it, just for scale.

What a joke. Yep, I was had. Oh well, live and learn. I guess I won't be buying any more Christmas candy from Target.

But as bad as that was, the rest of my shopping went a-ok. I never really made it to the liquor store--the weather outside is truly frightful--cold, grey, drizzly, just nasty, and my truck was fishtailing all over the road and spinning the rear tires at every green light. So I wanted to get out and get home as quickly as I could. The booze can wait a couple more days, so I just went for the necessities.

Talking to Mamasan this week (btw, the peanut butter balls are enroute as I type this), she got my thinking about getting some new flannel sheets. It really is cold here this week, and there's a bit of a chill in the house. Oh yeah, I could crank up the heat, but truthfully, I'd rather sleep in a cool room. The only sheets I have are my old tropical print ones I got a couple of years ago when I got the bed, and then the 600-thread count Egyptian cotton ones I got last Christmas (I absolutely love those, but they're built for summertime).

So I got online yesterday to see who might have some decent flannel sheets on sale, and Target had the best deals. I thought about ordering online, but I didn't want to wait for them to get shipped. I'm cold now!

So I ended up at the Target over in Silverado Ranch, the Vegas neighborhood I prefer the most. Back when I first moved here and lived with the strippers, it was in Silverado Ranch, and shopping at the local Albertson's, I was stunned by all the talent in the neighborhood. It seemed like every stripper, showgirl, and cocktail waitress in town lived there, so it was pretty much my happy place. Hell, Kimmy and Lori both live over there, so yeah, the neighborhood is like a Serengeti for hot chicks, hence my desire to go over there to shop.

Anyhow, I wandered about at Target for a good long time, enjoying all the milfy scenery, but I was a little late to the flannel sheet party. I guess it was a big hit this weekend, because finding a set of plaid queen-sized sheets was impossible. I went all over that store looking for display racks and sale bins, but only managed to find four sets of queen sheets. Most of the sets they had left were the ugly ones, or had some sort of flowers on them--nothing really to my liking. But I was persistent, and digging around behind some king-sized sets, I found some solid dark-gray flannel queen sized sheets. Jackpot!

While I was at it, I also picked up two new pillows (shoulda got four, but I'm trying not to spend too much money this week), and then I also scored a really soft fleece blanket, too. It's a big fluffy thing, and it reminds me of a cat. So I bought it, too. And right now, all the new bedding is down on in the washing machine getting laundered for the first time so I can use it tonight.

I can't wait to use the new stuff, and since it's so nasty and cold outside this week, I'm gonna sleep in, stay in bed till noon tomorrow, and drink hot chocolate. I'll have to forego the schnapps this first time around--I have to work at 1:00 o'clock in the afternoon, but once I get home, it's on. I'm gonna light some candles, turn on the Christmas music, eat a bowl of soup for dinner, and go right back to bed.

Until then, I'm gonna go take a hot shower without the exhaust fan on, and pretend that my bathroom is a sauna.


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