Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Instant Karma

I would've posted earlier, but by the time my workweek ended, I wanted nothing but a shower and some sleep. I was home around 2:30, and in bed with the light off by 3:00, asleep within about thirty seconds after that. It was a very long week at work, especially the past three days. Luckily the money was pretty damn good--no complaints there. So when I got home, instead of spending time in front of the computer, I just basically went straight to bed. And since the weather is good once again, I slept with my bedroom window open--and it was all the birds outside that woke me up this morning--no garbage truck, no screaming kids, no low-flying jets. I felt sorta like I was camping, except with the luxury of porcelain facilities nearby.

I had a nice night at work, again. Usually Mondays are the slowest night of the week for me, but we were so busy that *every* single seat at our blackjack tables were occupied. It was Standing Room Only in the main pit. So the bosses closed a couple of the slow games in Chinatown, like Let It Ride (thank god) and opened up five more blackjack tables once the 8:00 pm crew showed up. That bodes well for our tokes, because we make so much more money on blackjack than on stuff like Let It Ride, Pai Gow, and Mini-Pai Gow. I'll be interested to find out how we did last night.

But I was still working in Chinatown, dealing Pai Gow for most of the night. At one point, I had only two players on my game, a guy with his girlfriend, and after just ten minutes or so on the table, I dealt the guy a straight flush for a $250 bonus payoff. Like I said, we don't normally make much in tokes on Pai Gow, but whenever a big bonus hand is paid, we get a few bucks--Generally, on a $250 Straight Flush, even our stiffest of players will cough up ten bucks. Everyone knows they hate to do it, but the unspoken peer pressure to give something to the guy who dealt it is pretty powerful. Otherwise, the decent players always give in the neighborhood of $15 to $25 (And honestly, I think 10% is awfully generous, especially on that game--I never expect to see that, but I love it when it happens).

Anyhow, I'd been laughing it up with this guy and his girlfriend since I first sat down, and we all got pretty excited because his hand was just one card away from a 7-card straight flush and a $25,000 payday. (He had the 5 thru Jack of diamonds, except for the 6--it was a heart). But as soon as I paid him off, along with his girlfriend's $20 Envy Bonus, he acted like I wasn't even there at the table, and totally stiffed me. Granted some people are in mild shock when they win a good hand like that, and it takes them a second to get their bearings, but that wasn't the case--this guy made a conscious decision to stiff me. I could see it by the look on his face. I made eye contact with him after all the payoffs, and he looked away. So I took my time shuffling up and getting the next hand ready, and even said By the way... You're welcome! thinking that maybe I could shame him into coughing up a little love.

But it was not to be. Hell, the asshole even stiffed my favorite cocktail waitress a few minutes later!

So I decided that I was gonna 'go in the tank' and wasn't going to say another word to the guy for the rest of the hour. Sorry, but I live on tips, and I don't apologize for it--and if you're gonna stiff me, especially if I've been social, funny, and paying off good hands, well then, I'm not going to make the effort to do anything except bust you. I'll sit there and deal as fast as I can like the most expressionless closer from the Asian Gaming Room you've ever seen.

So at that point, it was head down, speed up. The guy waited a couple of hands and tried to initiate conversation, but I just ignored him. He must've thought that I didn't hear him so he kept trying.

So Mikey, what are your days off?

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't completely ignore him with one of the bosses lurking about the pit, so I gave him terse, one-word answers.

Tomorrow.

Where do you live?

Henderson.

After that, the boss wandered off and I decided that he'd get no more personal info from me--I'd just act like I couldn't hear him.

He then had the audacity to say Well, before you get out of here, we need to exchange contact information.

That didn't compute--it's not like I gave the guy several thousand and he wanted to meet me somewhere offsite to throw me a couple hundy.

So I said, Why on earth would I do that?

Well because I've got an opportunity for you where you can make $10,000 or more per month in residual income, if you're interested!

Oh yeah, like I wanted to sell Amway with this f*cking loser. So I rolled my eyes, made an obvious smirk, and said I don't think I want to do business with the type of person who's going to stiff me and my cocktail waitress after I pay off a monster hand. No thanks.

Heh.

While this conversation was taking place, we were still playing the game, and he had kept making bigger and bigger bets--and losing. I'd taken nearly $400 off of him since his straight flush several minutes before.

With that, he chunked out about $160 in red, so I called out Checks play! to the floor.

Go Checks! I heard, so out came the next set of cards. I could see that he was semi-disgusted with his hand, so I was hoping to lay down a good beat-down, but when I turned over my hand, I had a King-high Pai Gow.

Shiat.

I was pissed, thinking I was gonna have to pay off that asshole.

As it turned out, he also had a King-high Pai Gow, and I beat him by one card. Score! I didn't make any effort to hide the grin on my face as I scooped up his entire stack and dropped it in the rack, and I figured he would leave after that hand. His girlfriend had just gone broke, he could tell that I was obviously trying to bust him, and he'd just lost all of his red $5 chips. He had about $350 in green left, so I thought he'd just walk with that.

But no. Brothaman wanted to dance.

He put all $350 out in the betting circle. Again I called out Checks play!, and again I heard Go checks!

Watching his face like we were in a heads-up poker tournament, I could tell he liked his hand. As soon as he set it down, he announced Ace-Queen top, two pair bottom! putting an exclamation point on his thoughts with an in-my-face flourish of his hand.

I guess he felt like he was going to win that one.

But when I turned over my cards and set a pair of fours on top and four Kings on the bottom, the look on his stupid mug was priceless!

I actually said YOINK! as I snatched up the last of his chips. Both he and his foul girlfriend wandered away, broke and disgusted. And I sat there giggling to myself for a good five minutes after.

By then, it was getting late, and some of the dead games got closed down. I got an early push onto my next break and was told to take a long break. As luck would have it, my favorite cocktail waitress was going to take a break at the same time.

So we headed back to the the dining room, and I rehashed the whole story for her and we had a lot of laughs at his expense. I'd never dealt to the guy before, but she knew him and said he's been a stiff for years. So that made her day, too. And the bonus of being able to sit and chat for a half-hour with this girl who I've had a crush on for months made the evening that much better.

Mikey had a spring in his step when he got back to the pit awhile later.

When I got to my next table, it was just dead, but they waited until it was almost time for me to go before closing it up. So I got out a few minutes early--not as early as I'd hoped because the rest of the casino was still hopping--but ahead of most of the crowd. It was still my Friday night and the boss tried to cut me loose as soon as they could, but we just had too many players still chugging along that night. No biggie--I'll take the money!

I considered hitting the grocery store on the way home, thinking I'd bang around in the kitchen today, but I had that weary throbbing going on behind my eyes, and I didn't have a list of stuff I needed or wanted. Hell, I didn't even have any ideas on what I'd want to make. So I just came straight home instead, happy that my workweek was lucrative, fun, and that I got the slight thrill of spending a little time with my favorite hottie.

And now it's my weekend. Life is good.

Mikey

No comments: