They Call Me 'Even Steven'

It's funny--while I was trying to escape the Tiger Woods love-fest on ESPN yesterday (seriously, the guys on SportsCenter are gonna have to take their blue dress to the dry cleaners after this weekend is up...), I channel-surfed my way over to one of the 'rerun stations' and my favorite episode of Seinfeld was playing--no, not 'Master of My Domain' (everyone else's favorite episode), but 'The Opposite'.

That's a classic episode that I can watch over and over again and never get tired of. But the funny thing is, while everyone probably thinks that I'm more like George (Hi! My name is George. I'm unemployed and live with my parents!), actually, yesterday I was more like Jerry, who was Even Steven.

Remember the other day when I said that I'd keep $165 aside to play cards with this week, after putting all the rest of my money in the bank? Well, yeah, I lost that the other night. But on Thursday, as I was puttering around the house, I opened up the coffee can on my desk and found another $165 in there that I'd put aside for the cable bill. I put it in there over a week ago when the bill first arrived in the mail, and was going to wait until just a couple of days before it was due before I deposited the cash in the bank. Well, I completely forgot about it after hitting the four flushes last week and also having that big night where I won another $350 (and all that money went in the bank, too). So I completely spaced it.

But, as I was cleaning and organizing my desk, I discovered it, and it was like found money! My $165 had come back to me! Gotta love that--it's even better than finding a twenty spot in the dryer after you do your laundry.

So I said the hell with it, and went out to play some cards last night around 9:30 or so. It wasn't much fun, actually. The room was dead and I was at the geriatric table--everyone there had at least twenty years on me, so there wasn't much fun conversation or silliness going on. On the other hand, they were all a bunch of calling stations, so they paid me off several times. But then again, it was River City because nobody would fold, either.

The highlight of the evening, for me, was when I popped this one douchebag on two big hands in a row. I was gunning for him, because when I worked there, the guy was always a total stiff--never tipped a single pot in two years. So taking his money is especially tasty. And I got him twice. One time, it was set-over-set--I turned a set of nines against his sixes, and then on the next hand, I had Ace-King over his Ace-Ten, and we both had two pair at the showdown. And oh-by-the-way--his name is Steven, too. Heh.

Anyhow, after three hours or so, and some wild swings (I went from being down $60 to up $50, and then back down again), the game broke around 1:00 o'clock this morning. As I racked up, I saw that I was exactly even for the night. I'd bought in for $100, tipped the cocktail waitress two bucks, and when the game died, I had $102 stacked in front of me.

Even Steven.

So anyhow... I considered, briefly, going over to the 'M' and playing, but I didn't want to drive all the way over there and find out that there wasn't a decent game. So I just came on back to the apartment.

I still got my $165, so I'll probably do it all over again tonight.

Mikey