Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Natural Born Killers

Y'all know I'm staying with my sister Amy and her husband Scottie here in Nashville while I make my gradual recovery.  And those of you who have been paying attention know that they have a couple of the most adorable pugs ever--they're not even pets, they're more like their children.  Of course, I don't know many people who would name their kids Vader and Bertha, but that's not the point--the point is that the pugs are awesome to have around.  They're so cute and playful and they have hilarious personalities to boot, so everybody loves them.

But we found out that they have a dark side.  (Well, we figured that with a name like Vader, having a Dark Side was part of the deal, so we kinda knew what we were gettin' in to).  But instead of being cute and cuddly like Ewoks or something, they are pudgy little predators, too.  Check out the dead squirrel in the picture!

Amy and Scottie have a monstrous back yard (big enough that if it were in Vegas, there would be about eight or ten houses built in the same amount of space), and it's got some huge trees, too.  The huge trees attract lots of squirrels, and that just drives the dogs crazy, as you can imagine.  They are forever chasing them, but never, until now, managed to catch one.  Pugs are not known for their speed and agility, much less stealth. 

But while Amy and I were up at Mamasan's on Sunday, Scottie was on the back porch tending to the meat in the smoker, and Bertha walked up and deposited a dead squirrel at Scottie's feet.  Talk about a shocker!  I would be just as amazed if my four-year-old niece Brynn walked up and dropped a dead copperhead on the front porch.  Where the hell did that come from?!?!?

After shaking off the disbelief, Scottie pulled out the iPhone and snapped the picture.  Then he scooped up the dead squirrel and put it in the garbage can outside by the garage.  When Amy and I got home a few minutes later, we couldn't believe it either.  Since nobody saw the hit go down, Scottie believes that the squirrel died of natural causes and just fell out of the tree.  I believe that Vader actually hunted and killed it and then Bertha stole the carcass from him.  Amy is undecided.  Even so, I haven't seen a single squirrel in the back yard since Saturday, and before this happened, I'd see them constantly.  I think a message has been sent.

Either way, they're more than just the cute little dogs that snooze on the couch and mess up the pillows that we thought they were.  They're chubby little bug-eyed predators, and even though they can't run very fast, climb trees, or jump, every now and then they get lucky.  And all you varmits better recognize! 


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