Thursday, December 02, 2010

A Different Kind of Jackpot

Good morning, re-clickers!  It's a damn cold one here in the hills of upper Tennessee, but I've got a full pot of coffee going and nothing to distract me today.  So here I am at the keyboard, just like old times.

I feel especially happy this morning because last night I scored myself a little jackpot.  No, I didn't win the $95 million Powerball (apparently, one of my homies out in Arizona did, though)--I settled for something a bit less flashy.

First a little background.  Y'all know of my fondness for coconut creamer in my coffee.  I love the hazelnut, and I've even dabbled around with peppermint mocha around the holidays.  But coconut is my all-time favorite.  Sadly, I have had none since I've been back in Tennessee (I had some on the camping trip, but that was in Alabama).  I guess it's just not a big favorite of the southern folk.  So I've been making do with hazelnut (no complaints) or even cinnamon vanilla (feh... but I'm coming around).  Well, last night, I was at the super WallyWorld up in the miniature city of White House TN, and they had some!  Four large bottles, and I took every one of them.

At first, I felt a little guilty about cornering the local market on the stuff, but then I realized that I probably did a good thing--that is, if they sell out, then they'll get more and start carrying it on a regular basis.  I swear, I've been all over Nashville looking for coconut creamer ever since I got out of the hospital, and I've never been able to find it.  Until last night.  Actually, Mamasan told me that her friend Mary had scored some up here at the local WalMart, so I told her that next time she's there to pick me up a couple of bottles and I'll reimburse her for it.  Well, since I come up this way almost every week, I thought I'd check for myself--and I was rewarded!

Not only that, but since I braved the bitterly cold weather to find the coffee creamer, I was rewarded with yet another product that I've had a hard time finding.  I've been on a personal crusade for months, ranting the entire time, looking for firm toothbrushes.  I hate medium and soft-headed ones.  They feel like they've already been used for a couple of months.  I mean, seriously, how do you know when a soft-headed toothbrush has worn out?  I blame the do-gooders who started making kids wear helmets when they rode their bicycles.  Hell, when we were kids, nobody ever wore a helmet, and we did all kinds of crazy shiat on our bikes.  Yet nobody ever went to the emergency room with a cracked melon.  Anyhow, before I get lost too deep in the Angry Woods, let me just say that whoever decided that firm toothbrushes are Bad For Us is full of shiat.  Enough with the pussified soft-headed ones.  I want my mouth to feel like I'm taking a wire brush to the BBQ grill!  Ok, maybe not that extreme, but still, I prefer the firm ones.  And yet it seems that NOBODY sells them anymore.  What's up with that?  Can a brotha get a firm toothbrush?!?!?!??

I know that some dental health 'experts' have said that it's bad for your gums or hard on the enamel or some other such nonsense.  Bullshiat.  You don't have to grind on your teeth like you're refinishing furniture with a Dremel tool--in fact, I'd go so far as to say that you have to brush much harder with one of those wimpy soft-top ones because they're so ineffective (kinda like low-flow toilets that you always have to flush twice because they suck so bad--not really saving water there, either!).

Anyhow, two weeks ago, I scored a couple of them at the local Walgreens, but they don't have a big supply on hand.  And since they are becoming harder and harder to find, I like to stock up whenever I stumble across a new source.  Well, last night, after my coconut creamer victory, this same store also had one single row of firm-headed toothbrushes tucked away on the bottom shelf of the toiletries aisle.

Now, I didn't take all of them, like I did with the creamer.  I left a few behind, especially since we're so close to Kentucky and dental hygiene is something they kinda need to work on.  So I left a few behind for my fellow travelers.  Still, I replenished my stash, and it was a very productive trip to the store, if I do say so myself.

But not all was right on my shopping trip.  I was unable to find any warm wool socks, which I desperately wanted.  I bought a dozen pairs of plain white socks (all of mine seemed to have disappeared in the past couple of months, and Amy's theory is that they're all buried under the leaves in her backyard, courtesy of those thievin' pugs), but no cold-weather socks were to be had.  You'd think, being 28 degrees outside, that they'd have an entire section of wool socks.  But you'd be wrong.  That's ok, I'm sure I'll be able to find those somewhere--the People In Charge haven't come up with a reason for us not to have them yet.

I picked up a few more treasures here and there, but I was so excited about the coffee creamer and firm toothbrushes that I probably forgot half the stuff I went in there for.  No biggie, it's not like I don't have plenty of time on my hands if I need to go back.

But the plan today is to drink a few more cups of coffee, and then Mamasan and I are going to set to work making another double- or triple-batch of her famous peanut butter balls--we've got a lot of recipients this year, in addition to the regular family gatherings.  After that, we've got nothing else on the agenda except to listen to Christmas music and maybe drink a little eggnog while we get all festive, preparing for the holidays with the family.  Not a bad way to spend the day, if you ask me.

Y'all have a good one.



Lars Vargas said...

I'll reserve comment on coconut creamer since I don't care for coconut myself. I'm glad you found some, though.

Also, good work on the toothbrushes. I only use medium or firm myself. I have a stash, too.

When I go to the dentist, she tries to give me one of those soft brushes and I always ask for medium or firm. She grimmaces and starts the speech about how bad they are. I always interrupt her and tell her that after 41 years on this planet, I have zero cavities and no dental issues, including eroding enamel. And I do it with medium or firm toohbrushes! HA!

You're entirely right about soft brushes. They seem like they don't work at all. I ahte the way my mouth feels after using one.

Linda Lou said...

No shit about soft toothbrushes and bike helmets!  After I found out they actually make knee pads for babies, I considered writing a book, "Pussy Nation," because that's what we're turning into. 

Hell, I remember standing in the back of the car between my parents as they blew cigarette smoke into my face... and if we didn't like it, they'd pull over and throw us out of the car.  And we still lived!

dle said...

you hit the nail on the head with the bike helmuts and toothbrushes....I have not seen the coconut creamer here, but i hoard the pumpkin spice when I find it....

central lake rob said...

try the hunting dept of wallyworld for your warm for us up here in the northern climes

SloppyJoe said...

Okay Mikey, since you have been talking so much about these world famous Mamasan Peanut Butter Balls you have given me the desire to try and make some.  I thought at one point in the past you had posted the recipe but I cannot find it.  Will you please post it so I can try to make them?  Merry Christmas! 

Thanks, Joe

Hoyaheel said...

Mikey - ask the store managers to get the products you want. I do it all the time. Sometimes the store will special order a case for me and I pay for it ahead of time. Sometimes they'll add to the order for the store and I don't have to pay or make a minimum purchase. But most store managers have been very willing to order stuff for me.

As for socks - - we order so much from them. Get on their mailing list - coupons emailed every day.