Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Testing the Wisdom of the Fortune Cookie

I had some Chinese food for lunch today, stopped in at someplace called the Golden Flower or something like that over on Pecos & Russell on the East Side. I could smell it from the parking lot and it sucked me right in. I was powerless to resist...

That's no moon--that's a space station!!!

Anyhow, it had a big banner proclaiming it as yet another winner of a Best of Vegas award, so I figured it was worth checking out. Like any authentic Chinese joint, it had the requisite pink walls, red naugahyde (sp?) chairs, and Motel-6 quality art hanging about. But it had excellent lunch specials for $4.75. I opted for sweet & sour pork with fried rice. It came with egg drop soup and crab puffs, too. And as a bonus, they served Coke instead of that vile Pepsi. Since I was feeling a bit hungry, I ordered a side of eggrolls, too.

Good lunch, worth every penny, and I'm sure I'll go back. But the best part was the fortune cookie. It said: You are always welcome in any gathering.

Oh hell yeah--That's good info to know in a town like Las Vegas!

So this weekend, I'm gonna put on a special-occasion party shirt, shiny black shoes, and hit the sample tray at the cologne counter at Dillards. Then I'm heading over to Caesars Palace or The Palms or someplace snooty like that and walk up to the front of the line at Pure or the Ghost Bar. When the bouncer guy asks if I'm on the list, I'm just gonna whip out my fortune cookie message and watch the velvet ropes part before me like Moses at the Red Sea.

Then maybe next weekend I'll road trip down to L.A. and stop in at the Mansion to see Hef and the girls. While I'm there, I'm gonna throw that Fred Durst loser out on his ear. His fifteen minutes were up years ago...

Who knew a fortune cookie carried so much cachet?


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