I Want To Believe

So, I'm sure I spent my Sunday like 90% of the rest of the population--in front of the TV watching the playoffs, (and we're waiting for Hoya to chime in and say she didn't, in 3...2...1...), followed up by watching Jack Bauer kick ass and take names for two hours.

Oh hell yeah--it was like a High Holy Day for couch potatoes!

Actually, I didn't watch TV all day--in fact, I missed the first three quarters of the Eagles-Giants game, the one contest of the week I was least concerned with because I really don't care for either team (although I find Giants fans far less detestable than Philly fans, so I guess if I had to care, I'd root for the Giants). The reason I missed it is because of my whacked out sleep schedule. I was up most of the night before, even though I was exhausted from my shift at work. I finally went to bed at six or so, thinking I'd wake up in time for kickoff. I was wrong, but then again, I don't much care.

But it was a relaxing morning, and the ability to sleep in without the phone ringing, followed by a leisurely pot of coffee while watching the playoffs ain't a bad way to spend a Sunday. I was kinda hungry, but figured I'd be meeting Drew for dinner after the games. So I didn't eat anything all day.

After the games ended, I decided to get into the T2V Sunday poker tourney, as I haven't played in a tournament, live or online, in almost a month. In fact, two people this past week came up to me and asked me why I'm not playing cards anymore. I never play in the room at work, and I've gone almost cold-turkey in live tournaments lately, too. I have no simple answer, but busting out of the last three tourneys didn't help, and I was either just too damn busy in December, or just not feeling the mojo.

I was playing well early on in the online tourney, picking up lots of small pots with no showdown, but then I got crippled by putting Doc Al on Ace-King, when he actually had a pair of Queens (a costly mistake with my pair of Sevens and busted straight). Dougie administered the knockout blow a little while later when my top pair with a kicker lost to his top pair with a weak kicker that happened to give him two pair. Oh well. It was only eleven bucks and a good 'halfway-house' effort to get me back into the game. I'll probably start playing in live tourneys again as soon as this month's nut is covered.

I think I just surfed the net for awhile after I busted out of the tournament, and watched some SportsCenter, killing time while the season premier of 24 was recording. I won't watch it live and sit through all of those god-awful American Idol promos, so I waited until it was about 45 minutes into it (deep enough to fast forward through two hours worth of commercials without catching up to live tv) before I started watching it.

So far so good, but there is just one huge leap of faith one has to make for the plot to make sense. Seriously, do the writers expect us to believe that some bad guys can get hold of a pocket-sized electronic device that can control the national power grid (is there even such a thing?), all of the dams and water purification plants, plus all air traffic? Really?

Am I supposed to believe that a nerd with a soldering iron can make a little doo-hickey that will not only allow him to talk to commercial aircraft (no biggie), but can prevent the FAA from doing so at the same time? WTF?

Hey if that ever happens, I want to give everyone from the FAA, TSA, FBI, NSA, and Homeland Security a little tip--spend $300 and get an Icom transceiver. Maybe spend three million and pick up a few of 'em:



You can get 'em at any pilot supply store. They're hand-held and run on batteries, so they're not connected to any government computer OR the 'national power grid', so no matter what the bad guys do, you can still talk to air crews in flight. That way, you can avoid stuff like near-misses and the mayhem of runway incursions.

Problem solved.

I'm surprised none of those guys at Air Traffic Control thought of it. But that's me--thinking outside the box.

But it made me wonder--is the general population that clueless about airline/air traffic operations? Do most people believe this shiat? Same thing happened in that second Die Hard movie--the bad guys just took over all communications and started crashing airplanes. Please. It's pretty much impossible to disrupt radio transmissions unless there is a huge electromagnetic pulse that knocks out all electronic stuff. Basher in Ocean's 11 explained it all--and in order to do that, you need something like an atomic bomb. And if one of those goes off, communicating with airliners is suddenly way down on the list of problems you're dealing with. I'm just sayin'.

Other than that obvious plot hole, I'm down with the new season of 24, although didn't they already play out the kooky Presidential spouse angle a couple of seasons ago? On the other hand, I'm really likin' that red-headed FBI agent chick. She's not a whiner like that Audrey biatch, so I'm hoping Jack takes a couple of minutes out of his busy schedule during this hectic 24 hours and gives her some good lovin', CTU style.

My only other gripe is that the show is full of famous faces. The Director of Homeland Security is Gaurnere from Band of Brothers, Red Forman is a Senator, and Warden Norton is the Chief of Staff. I found myself thinking Hey, what else was that guy in? every time a new character was introduced. Without cheating and looking at IMDB or Wikipedia, I'm trying to figure out where I saw the guy who played that minor FBI agent who Jack had to shadow at his desk at the beginning of the show... The Sopranos, maybe?

But all minor criticism aside, it's still great brain candy and an enjoyable show that I make a point of seeing every week. I'm glad it's back.

It turns out that I was never able to connect with Drew, so I never got to go out to dinner. And since I was holed up in my room all day watching football and such, I was kind of hungry. Normally, it's no big deal and I'll just go to bed. But finally, around midnight, my stomach was growling and I had to do something about it.

Unfortunately, there aren't many choices around Henderson for late-night eats. Yeah, I guess I could've made a run for the border or even got some real Mexican food at Roberto's, or return to La Collina (the scene of me and Kimmy's last 'date'), but none of that turned my crank. There's a 24-7 place called Timbers down the street, but I hate going there because it's always full of Henderson cops. They always go there to do their paperwork and such, and I always feel like they're watching people leave, so they can score a cheap DUI. Of course, they do no such thing, but it still kinda takes the fun out of hanging out there.

So I said the hell with it and decided to just drive on down to the Strip and show the Peppermill some love. I was starving, and hadn't had any of their legendary chicken fried steak and eggs in god-knows-how-long. It's easily been almost a year--maybe March Madness last year? I don't remember the last time I ate there--it's been a long time. Far too long.

And just because I love you people, I took my camera and captured some good old-fashioned food porn for you degenerates:


The plates are the same size as they've always been, but you'll notice that the actual chicken fried steak is much smaller than it used to be. A few years ago, that bad boy was so big you couldn't tell what color the plate was. And I learned a long time ago to get my eggs over-easy. If you get 'em scrambled, they'll give you a huge ramekin full of them, probably five or six eggs worth--way too much food.

But when I first started going to the Peppermill over five years ago, not only was the portion ridiculously huge, but it cost $12.95. It's up to $14.75 now. I don't mind the downsizing of the portions--I could never finish my breakfast for years. This time, I cleaned my plate. Also, back in the day, the strawberry preserves came in a hollowed out tangerine. These aren't even preserves anymore, just cheap strawberry jam. And the toast is thinner too, so they can get a couple more servings per loaf. But the hashbrowns haven't changed, and they're still my favorite hashies in all of Vegas.

It's still a damn good meal, but not exactly a great value. But then again, it's still the best CFS I've found. And you know I don't mind occasionally paying a premium for a really good meal, especially breakfast.

Anyhow, my breakfast with coffee and a glass of milk cost about $23, plus tip--again, not a bargain, but it sure tasted good and I'm not gonna be hungry until sometime on Tuesday.

But I had a nice time while I was there, savoring a good meal while reading a good book, and getting out of the house was just what I needed. After I paid the tab, I drove the entire length of the Strip before coming home, just enjoying the lights and the scenery. Encore looks amazing now that all the construction is finally done and all of the temporary scenery-blocking walls are down, and I'm completely in awe of the absolute monstrosity of a clusterf*ck that City Center is becoming. This time next year, traffic on the south Strip will be complete gridlock. That place is insane, and it looks like it's going to swallow up the Monte Carlo completely. It already dominates the skyline, dwarfing the rest of the Strip.

Before long, you'll be able to walk all the way from Tropicana to Flamingo at noon without getting any direct sunlight. It's turning into a glass and steel canyon.

Traffic on the Strip is pretty thin in the middle of the night, so my field trip didn't take very long. I'm home now, and I'm pretty sure I've got the next two days off, away from the casino. If the sun comes out on Tuesday, I may take a little hike, or at least do some more suburban exploring.

Mikey

A Pretty Good Weekend So Far...

Howdy everyone!

I hope you're all having a great weekend out there in the real world. So far, mine hasn't been too bad.

After my whopping four-hour workweek, I was ready for some relaxation. I had plans on Friday night to go meet up with one of my local blog-buddies and occasional commenter, Linda Lou. Iffin' you get the chance, get on over to her site and post up some buffoonery in her comments section, just 'cause sometimes when I'm over there, I feel like I'm standing in Jerry Maguire's living room on Lifetime movie night and everyone thinks I ate the last piece of chocolate. Tell her Mikey sent ya.

Anyhow, I had a nice relaxing day, got a few things done, and dressed up in some nice clothes before heading out to the Royal Resort. What is the Royal Resort? It's one of them forgotten hotels on Convention Center Drive that has no casino. It's just across the street from the rear parking lot at the Peppermill, if that helps.

But one of Linda's many creative outlets is stand-up comedy, and word on the street was that she was doing a set in the lounge that night. So the plan was to head down and meet up, show my support, and then spend the balance of the evening telling stories over drinks.

I was running a little bit late, and when I finally got there and parked, I realized that I was dressed up to look just like my truck. I had on a wine-colored twill shirt, dark gray Dockers, and a bit of black trim going with the belt, socks, and undershirt. Seriously, I matched my truck exactly...

As I was stumbling across the parking lot (of the invisible 7-11...), I almost got run down by another car, but I recognized it as a Saturn by it's headlights (all those years of Eddie B following me home from happy hour in his Saturn taught me to recognize those distinctive lights). And Linda had written about her car a few weeks back, so I knew it was her. So I waved her down, she rolled down the window and said hello, and I told her I'd wait for her to park and we'd make our entrance together.

A few minutes later, we were sipping a few drinks in the bar, but she had to run and talk to the folks in charge. She came back and told me the bad news. One, they may not even have a show that night because the crowd was so sparse, and two, even if they did, she wouldn't get a set, she'd be hosting--trying to warm up the sparse crowd and introducing the comics. That kinda sucked.

They delayed the start time by about ten minutes so that they could round up an audience, and when it finally got underway, there were only about ten or eleven people in the room. But the room itself wasn't very big--a small space with a stage at one end and seating for about thirty people crammed in--not much bigger than the game room at my house.

Linda went up on stage and opened the show, but as a host, she can only do a couple of Jay Leno-style jokes--quick one liners instead of building her act like a story.



Her stuff was funny, a little saucy, and it sounded like she had lots of good material to work with, if only she could've gotten more stage time. But it was not to be.

The first two acts were a couple of young guys, who I thought were very funny. The first guy would've just killed in a bigger room with a better crowd, but what can ya do? It's a slow week in the slowest part of the year, in the middle of a recession, in an off-strip no-casino lounge. A very tough gig if there ever was one. I guess it was just good practice. But I got a few laughs out of the first two comedians, and Linda did a great job of hosting and making the show flow smoothly.

The 'headliner', however, was just plain awful. After the first two guys, who were actually, you know, funny, this guy just plain sucked. He had absolutely no material, a dead crowd, and his 'act' was a lot like Vinnie Favorito's, where he just plays off the audience, insults people, and screams a lot. Just horrible. First of all, he only had ten people to work with. And the couple in the front row--the husband was legally blind, and the wife was deaf! And he didn't find that out until much later... Oh my god, it was just painful to sit there and watch this guy bomb for forty-plus minutes. Seriously, it was one of the worst things I ever sat through in my life.

He tried to engage me a few times, because I wasn't laughing at all. In fact, the only laughs he got for the first half of his act were polite 'pity' laughs. When he called me out for sitting there stoically, I didn't want to be too much of an ass, so I said I was laughing 'on the inside'. He wouldn't let that go, so he kept after me. Anyhow, he said something about "Work with me here people, I've got the folks from Guinness on the line"

At that point, I just couldn't restrain myself any longer, so I said Why, you tryin' to break the record for how long a comedian can go without telling a joke?

First big laugh of the night--the whole crowd, such as it was, just busted up. Turns out, it was the biggest laugh of the show!

Anyhow, I was tempted to get up and walk out because it was just so painfully embarrassing to be there watching this train wreck of a 'comedy' act, but I stuck it out and made it until the bitter end. By then, I just felt sorry for the guy. He had to fill up forty minutes of stage time, and he didn't have a single joke. Not. one. single. joke.

Once I escaped the lounge, Linda and I headed over to the bar where she introduced me to a couple of her other friends who had come down to see the show, too. I guess her friend Lisa enjoyed it a lot more than the rest of us, but I blame that on the four glasses of vodka she had. Anyhow, the four of us sat there talking and having cocktails for a bit, and Linda asked me if I had to work that night.

I looked at my phone, saw that it hadn't rung all night, and said Nope--work hasn't called. Feeling like I was off the hook, I was able to enjoy the rest of the evening. About twenty minutes later, I went up to the bar to fetch us another round, and while I was waiting, I ditched into the men's room to use the facilities. While I was in there takin' care of biz, I heard my phone beeping, letting me know I had a missed call and had a voicemail. I checked it, and saw that the poker room had called about fifteen minutes earlier.

So I called 'em right back, hoping to pick up a shift, but it was a lost opportunity. They needed somebody immediately, and when my phone went to voicemail (I didn't hear or feel it ring), they gave up and called in another dealer. Dammit all.

Oh well--nothing I could do at that point but wander back to the bar and enjoy my visit with Linda. Her friends took off, so we sat for another hour or so, just chillin' and talking about stuff like writing and comedy and life in Vegas and such.

It was getting close to 1:00 am when we finally decided to call it a night--she had to get up in the morning, so we said goodnight. It was great to meet her, and we had a fun visit, plus we've got some tentative plans to go hit up the Omelet House for breakfast in a couple of weeks.

Once I got home, I stayed up and watched The Simpsons Movie, which wasn't nearly as funny the second time around. Still good, but maybe my comedy detector was skewed by the evening's activities.

I went to bed just about the time the sun started peeking in through the blinds, and woke up about an hour before the first football game came on. I made a few phone calls, and then realized that I was really hungry. I've been eating nothing but soup, granola bars, and yogurt all week, and was in the mood for something else (Chunky soup was on sale for a buck a can at Smith's last week, so I loaded up on that shiat, even though I f*cking hate their annoying commercials).

While watching the pre-game show on CBS, I saw a McDonald's commercial and learned that whatever animal they make the McRib out of is back from extinction, so that settled it--I ran down to the golden arches down on Valley Verde and the 215 and grabbed my own version of the Happy Meal. Yum.

I spent the balance of the afternoon puttering around in my room, moving piles of stuff around and 'organizing' the clutter while watching the Cardinals kick the shiat out of the Panthers. Good lord, who saw that coming? The books made a fortune on that game!

Just before halftime, that old familiar ringtone was going off, and the poker room needed my services. I told 'em I'd be there for the 7:30 push, so I showered and shaved and made myself pretty again.

When I got to the casino, I was amazed at how busy it was. It was about as crowded as I'd ever seen it, but I guess there was some $100,000 drawing going on which explains the mass of humanity. But we still had seven tables going, which was just fine with me.

I pushed in and did four downs straight, picking up a quick hundy. I'll take fifty bucks an hour in tips anytime! I did a half-hour break, then did another three downs, improving the average even more, and very happy that they called me in.

I got one more break and three more downs, but my last table was the best one of the night. I had a bunch of poker dealers from other casinos in the game, and there was *huge* action. I pushed one pot that was over $300, which is almost unheard of in a 4-8 game. Just to give you an idea of the crazy action, the guy who won that pot showed a Jack-Four... Anyhow, between all the dealers and big-action players at the table, I was making about six bucks a pot. That's a damn good average, so I was dealing at super-high speed, trying to put out as many hands as I could, milking that game for all I could get.

Unfortunately, the party didn't last, and a couple of other games broke up after 1:00 am, so I got sent home after just six hours. But it was a damn good six hours.

As I was standing in the men's room taking my post-shift whiz, I heard my phone beeping again. Drew from Wisconsin had called, and he's in town this weekend. If I'm not working tomorrow night, the plan is to go out and get some dinner somewhere. On one hand, I'd love to pick up another shift, because I could use the money. But on the other hand, dinner at a new restaurant would be cool too. Either way, I think my Sunday evening is gonna turn out ok, capping off a good weekend no matter what happens.

Mikey

Jack's Back!

Don't forget to set your DVRs this weekend.

Besides being the best weekend in the NFL, Jack Bauer makes his long-awaited return. Two hours on Sunday night, two hours on Monday night. Oh hell yeah!

The fictional bad-guy population is about to take a serious hit.

Anybody know when The Deadliest Catch makes it's return?

Mikey

The Next Rachael Ray

Maybe it's because I watch too much ESPN, but I've decided that there's a new chick that goes on my hate list.

Ladies and Gentleman, 'Flo' from the Progressive Insurance commercials.



She's every bit as annoying as the Geico caveman, the Geico lizard, Rachael Ray, Billy Mays, the Shamwow guy, and all those idiots who are too stupid to use a wallet properly and feel like they need to use a Super Clip. This latest commercial where she blows on that stupid horn and says "I wrote that" is just dumber than shiat. It makes me want to reach into the TV and scratch her bug eyes out.

But doing my research for this post, I found out that she looks like a normal human being in real life. Kind of a hot normal human being, at that. I guess everyone needs to make a buck, so I can't fault her for making a living. I'm sure she's not the one writing those stupid-ass commercials.

And there's a thin line between love and hate, so to be honest, I guess if I had the chance, I'd hit it like the fist of an angry god.

But I still wouldn't buy insurance from her.

Mikey

The Law of Unintended Consequences

I may do a lot of writing these next few days, just to play catch-up. It seems that with everyone being so generous this past Christmas sending lots of books and movies, well, guess what I've been doing with all my free time.

It ain't been writin'.

Yep, if I've not been working or sleeping, I've been watching movies or working my way through the stack of books on the nightstand. I'm making good progress and feeling quite entertained.

But I figured I should probably give the ol' website some attention.

I just got home from work, and it was a total joke. I got there at 1:00 am, and there was one single no-limit game going with just four players. And since there were three dealers, I was told that I had to take the first break. I was ready to just say the hell with it, because I knew the game wouldn't last an hour. But one dealer got sent home, and the one who was going back in to deal said he'd take the rest of the night off and give me the game. So I didn't have to take a break, and sat down to deal at the top of the hour. And the dealer that clocked out bought into the game, making it five-handed.

But it only lasted 45 minutes, and it was a sucky 45 minutes at that. No action at all. And nobody's tipping on a ten-dollar pot, either. So I made a whoppin' $22 for my time. Woot.

The previous night was much better--once I got in the box, I was dropping tokes at the rate of a buck a minute, which is great--I'll take sixty bucks an hour anytime! But then the fish got busted out at by 3:45, and the game broke by four. Ugh. That particular golden-egg-laying goose only lasted three hours.

So I've got four hours on the books this week, but that puts me at the top of the on-call list for the weekend. I'm sure I'll pick up another shift. And next week I'll probably get some overtime--they've got that company-wide freeroll tourney with 2000+ players, and I'm stuck dealing it. Crappy money all around--I'll be working 16 hours for minimum wage next weekend across town at another casino in a tourney where nobody tokes--there's no entry fee, and no opportunity to buy more chips with proceeds going to the staff like in most tourneys. From what everyone tells me, it's a miserable experience, and the five dealers with the least seniority get sent off to work it. Since I am at the absolute rock-bottom as far as seniority goes, I get the shiat samminch once again. On the flip side of that coin, that leaves our poker room short-staffed, so I'll likely have to come back and work for some real money afterwards.

Anyhow, I guess the point of all that is that December was a bit of a feast, but January is firmly back to the famine half of the cycle. Not much buffoonery for me for awhile.

But all is not lost--tonight I'm off to meet Linda Lou, one of my readers and fellow Vegas-bloggers. She's either hosting or performing some comedy in a lounge down off the Strip, so I'm gonna go down and show my support and ply her with wine, hoping that we have a few laughs and both get some material out of it. And if I'm not called in this weekend, I'll probably meet up with Drew for a good meal somewhere.

That's about all for now--I think I'm gonna go watch a movie or something.

Mikey

Rock Bottom

I think we've finally reached the bottom, as far as gas prices go. The cheapest I've paid has been $1.69 per gallon, and I've gotten three tanks at that price.

I noticed the bottoming out a few weeks ago, when the gas station on the corner went more than 24 hours without lowering it's prices. I'd been watching, and figured if the brakes ever came on in the race to the bottom, it was time to fill up. I think I had about half a tank at the time, but it didn't matter--I got stuck paying $4.27 per gallon in July, at the high, so I wanted to make sure I caught the low, just so the universe would remain in balance.

Ever since then, the five gas stations that I pass in my daily commute have been hovering around $1.69 or $1.71. (There are actually six gas stations between my house and work, but the Shell station doesn't count--they're always about eight or nine cents a gallon more expensive, so I only go there because they have a perfect mix in their Coke fountain). It's been up to $1.75 a few times, but the competition seems to keep it in check, and it has always dropped back down.

Hell, the other night, on Howzie's advice, I went a bit out of my way to the Rebel station on Marks and Warm Springs, and it was even more expensive than the Kwik E Mart 7-11 near my house.

Yesterday, that same 7-11 (the one they made into a Kwik E Mart last summer for The Simpsons Movie) had gas at $1.71. When I drove by this morning, it was $1.74. And when I came home this afternoon, it was up to $1.79. So yeah, it's climbing, but anything less than two bucks a gallon is ok with me. Actually, I'm ok with anything less than $2.45 a gallon, because that's what I was paying when I first moved to Vegas four years ago.

But there's one thing that should make you think--Imagine how bad the economy would be if we were still paying over four bucks a gallon. I think it would be disastrous.

Lets just hope we have a mild winter, too.

Mikey

Kindle

As most of you know, Amazon is one of my all-time favorite inventions/websites. I used it as often as possible, and if I got frequent-flyer miles for shopping there, my ass would be vacationing in Hawaii every winter. Sometimes when I'm bored, I do a lot of virtual window-shopping there. (Hey, how else do you explain a six-page wishlist?)

I'm fascinated by their 'recommendations'--some are spot on, but some are ridiculously out of my range of interest. Anyhow, the thing that keeps coming up is this Kindle device, the electronic reader where you can download books, magazines, and even newspaper columns to, and read them at your leisure.

It sounds like a good idea, and definitely a cool device for all the early-adopters out there, but I'm not so sure it's for me. Maybe I'm just old school, but I like the aesthetics of having a book in my hands. Granted, I read news articles online all the time, and I have my favorite columnists that I have bookmarked in areas of cooking, sports, politics, and other general interest topics, so yeah, I can see the utility of such a device.

But I don't spend a lot of time 'on the go'--I'm not commuting using public transportation, and my job doesn't require me to travel, so I don't really have downtime that needs to be filled away from the house, nor do I need things like a Blackberry, or even a 'smart phone'. And my iPod already holds movies, music, and pictures, and my cellphone allows me to call, text, and take pictures, so I don't see the need to carry an electronic book cover, where the contents change all the time.

I don't know--I guess it just doesn't make sense for me, I think. Besides, who ever thought of curling up on a rainy day with a cup of coffee and a Kindle device? Doesn't seem quite right. Also, if I saw somebody sitting in public reading a book on a Kindle, I'd put them in the same category of asshats who just want to be seen with the newest and trendiest device, kind of like those losers who wear their Bluetooth headsets on their ear all the damn time.

I guess my point is, does anyone out there have a Kindle already? Do you like it? I'm pretty sure of the pros, but I'd like to hear about the cons, too. Is it something you think Oh my god, how did I ever survive before I got this? Or is it more of a case of Yeah, it was a cool gift, but I'd never buy one myself...

Anyone?

Mikey

Stuffed Like a Bird

I feel like it's Thanksgiving afternoon in the real world--It's cold outside and I'm sitting here thinking Damn, I ate too much, while I watch football highlights on ESPN.

Yesterday, I was kinda busy, but moving at half-speed, finally winding down from the emotional roller-coaster of the weekend. I finally snapped out of it just about the time the Fiesta Bowl was getting underway. Luckily it was a decent game this year, and I want to congratulate the Sweater Vest and the rest of Buckeye Nation for keeping it within two touchdowns this time around. Good jorb!

Anyhow, while I was watching the game, I was busy doing little projects (I swear that tool kit I got last year for Christmas has been about the most practical and useful gift ever). I finally put together the last bookshelf that I've had sitting in the corner, still in the box, since last July. I also organized the closet and desk a bit, getting a handle on all the books and such that I have lying around. One of these days I'll have my own place with a proper library/den. I also finally unpacked and hooked up the new DVD player, which took all of two minutes. (The entertainment shelf, however, remains unconstructed).

After the game, I decided to test out the new DVD player, so I watched Super Troopers, which was a helluva lot funnier than I expected. Yeah, there was some slapstick, which I railed against yesterday, but then, there was some seriously funny gags too. I would've never had that movie on my radar, but it came highly recommended from both Amy and Reverend Dave, so it went on the wishlist, and ended up making it's way to me in time for Christmas. If any of you folks subscribe to Netflix, it's worth putting on your list.

Once the movie ended, I was starving. I realized that all I had to eat the entire day was two granola bars, a handful of mixed nuts, and a glass of orange juice. I was thinking of making a run for the border or going to Roberto's for some authentic late-night gut-busting carne asada. But it was after midnight, and I don't like to eat late at night unless I've been out drinking, so I just said the hell with it and went to bed.

My plan was to get up early and make a pot of coffee this morning, do some reading, and maybe do some writing, too. But I woke up briefly around seven, thought it was too early (and the wall near my head was cold, too), so I stayed in bed and slept in till around 9:30. By then, I wasn't in the mood for coffee--I wanted some real food. But I don't have any juice or milk left here at the house, even though I had a can of Grands biscuits down in the fridge and some brown and serve sausage patties in the freezer.

So what was I to do?

Well of course I showered, shaved, and got dressed, and headed down to the Omelet House to visit with my gal Marcie and eat a stick-to-my-ribs breakfast.

Again, I passed on the coffee, but she brought me a Ned Flanders hot cocoa special, complete with whipped cream and little chocolate sprinkles.

It was kinda slow at the restaurant at the time, so we got to visit for a bit, which was nice. Eventually, I ordered a '38 special' omelet, which has bacon, ham, sausage, and two kinds of cheese in it, with wheat toast and a glass of OJ. Marcie also brought me a fresh-from-the-oven piece of banana bread with some whipped butter while I waited, which was just excellent.

There was no way I was gonna finish that breakfast though--the omelet was huge, and as tasty as it was, I could only finish about half of it.

She asked me if I wanted a box to take my leftovers home, and I told her that the only leftovers I take home is pizza. That led to an interesting conversation, as you might imagine. I tried to extoll the virtues of Grimaldi's, but then she dropped a bomb on me. She said that Pizza Hut was her favorite.

I must've sat there with a stunned WTF? look on my face for a good thirty seconds. Oh, but it gets better... She said that she heard Papa John's gives you garlic butter dipping sauce for the crust, so she might try that next time around...

For a pizza aficionado like myself, it sounded like blasphemy, and I didn't know how to respond. Eventually I pulled it together and suggested that perhaps there were some good pizzas outside of the chains. I hope I can introduce her to the goodness of places like Grimaldi's, Pie Town, or NY Pizza & Pasta, if only to let her know what she is missing. And I was really beginning to like this girl. But Pizza Hut???

Oh well. I may have found the perfect pizza at Grimaldi's, but my search for the perfect woman continues...

Mikey

Soon Enough, I'll Be Bitching About the Heat

1:30 in the afternoon, and it's only 41 degrees here at the house on the Henderson hillside. Too farkin' cold if you ask me. And I don't wanna hear from you clowns up in places like Minnesota or Wisconsin telling me how cold it is. Y'all chose to live there. I chose to live in the desert, and dammit, it's not acting like one.

But like most critters that dwell in the desert, I have to adapt. So I've got my flannel sheets, a big-ass comforter, and a pot of hot coffee handy. I just ate two granola bars and there is a can of cashews on the shelf, so I could stay here quite comfortably for some time. Although I'd like to get out of the house at some point, see the sun, and interact with humans away from the poker tables, too.

After all the stress, and the long workday, I came home and crashed hard last night. Again, I woke up only because the phone was ringing this morning (I'm afraid to turn it off, now).

I'm pretty sure I won't have to work the next day or two (slow week), so I'm gonna get off my lazy ass and get the damn entertainment shelf put together--yeah, it's been leaning up against the wall, still in the box, for a month. And I'll finally hook up my DVD player, too. I guess that's the side effect of having so many good books to read--movies haven't interested me. But since I've got about 10 new DVDs, I better get after it.

I did, however, finally watch a movie that I'd recorded about two months ago. I swear, I must've been the last person in the world to see Superbad, and it was getting to the point where it was fun to see people's reactions when I said I hadn't seen it yet. But it was there on my DVR, so I watched it late Saturday night.

I thought it was good, but not as great as people made it out to be. There were lots of funny lines, and some great dialogue, but the whole side-story with McLovin and the two cops was so over-the-top stupid that it completely wiped out my suspension of disbelief and bordered on slapstick. And for the most part I hate cheap slapstick comedy. I prefer clever comedy--for instance, you'll never catch me watching a Jim Carrey movie, but I thought O Brother Where Art Thou was one of the funniest things ever written. (But then again, I can only take the Coen brothers movies in small doses).

So yeah, I saw Superbad. I laughed a bit, but I don't think it'll make it into the collection. Role Models was funnier, I thought.

Mikey

Sunday Night Pot Roast

Howdy all--I know some of you don't think you've been getting your money's worth since I haven't posted anything since Friday, but it's been a very stressful weekend for me, and I wasn't functioning at 100% capacity for about 24 hours.

I worked a bunch of oddball hours for the past week, and this weekend was no exception. I think my last three shifts started at 1:00 am, 3:00 am, and 1:00 pm, respectively. I'm off (well, on call) until late Wednesday night/Thursday morning, but that 18-hour rule is in effect, so I know that I can sleep undisturbed until sometime tomorrow afternoon. Yeah, I'd like to pick up another shift or two, but not until Tuesday...

Anyhow, on Friday night, I finally went to bed at 1:30 in the morning, exhausted, thinking that I was off the hook as far as getting called in to work on graveyard shift. I had just dozed off, and I remember seeing the digital clock on the cable box showing 2:08 am when my phone started ringing. They needed me at three. So I got up, took a shower, and headed in, feeling like a zombie. I was kind of out of it.

There were a couple of games going, so I was pretty much locked down the entire time.

Once the games broke down at six, I stuck around to help the floorman fetch a bunch of styrofoam cups from the storage room and also bring over a couple of five-gallon bottles for the water cooler. While we were in there he picked up a couple of bottles, while I grabbed a case of cups, and we walked back to the poker room. We also did stuff like count down all the banks and other random chores, and as tired as I was, I still stuck around to hang out with him and the cocktail waitress while we waited for the morning crew to come in. The old-guy's game has been getting slower and slower lately, so I sat down, not to play, but to put a body in the seat so that it looked like we had a game going, just so passers-by would be enticed to come in.

Finally, just before nine, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, so I said goodbye to everyone and hit the road. Knowing that I wouldn't be called for the next half-day, I turned my phone off completely and went to bed. I passed out for six hours, waking up only to shuffle off to the bathroom. I decided to turn my phone back on at that point, and I saw that I had a shiatload of missed calls and voice mails. It seemed like everyone at the casino was looking for me.

Apparently, they couldn't find the main poker room keyring that had all the keys to the cash drawer, the bank, the chip storage, the office, etc etc. I was listening to the messages thinking Why would they be calling me? I've never even touched that keyring.

But I checked the laundry basket, and yep, there was a mystery keyring in the pocket of my dirty pants. But the thing was, I had absolutely NO recollection of ever handling those keys, much less putting them in my pocket. But the graveyard floorman said he handed them to me while we were in the storage room.

Anyhow, I called my boss back and said I'd be back down there in twenty minutes, keys in hand. When I got there, I went to drop them off in the poker room, but the floorman said I had to go back to the office and talk to the boss.

That's never a good sign.

Well, turns out that those keys are never supposed to leave the property, and the by-the-book rule is that if they do, whoever takes them is immediately terminated. Because if that happens, they assume whoever did it is up to no good and they have to re-key everything. So I got a really stern talking to, and got the shiat scared out of me too, but cooler heads prevailed when it was made clear that it was an obvious mistake.

Whew.

But I wasn't out of the woods just yet. Right now is not the time to f*ck up at work--times are so tough that they are looking for any excuse to get rid of people. I've seen a few folks get shiatcanned for the dumbest reasons lately, and I didn't want to be one of them. So they sent me home to make me sweat, and I figured if I made it through my next shift without getting the 'don't come in' call, I'd be ok.

So I spent my Saturday evening worrying that they were just putting together all the paperwork they needed to can my ass. Worried that I'd wake up the next morning without a job, I spent the evening looking at the employment web pages for all the casinos in town. Yikes! Nobody is hiring right now. If I lost my job this week, I'd be well and truly f*cked. It was a sleepless night.

When I got up this morning, I figured no news was good news, and I puttered around till it was time to get ready for work. Just as I was getting out of the shower, I heard my phone ringing, with that unique poker room ring tone.

My heart sank. I thought, Well, here it is...

Luckily, I was looking at the glass as being half-empty, because it was just the floorman saying he wanted to back my shift up an hour and for me not to come in until one instead of at noon. It was so slow that he called the other two extra-board dealers that were scheduled and just told them not to come in at all. So I felt like I was back in the good graces.

When I got there a few minutes before 1:00, again I thought I was getting the boot, because the boss was standing there at the desk, waiting. Sunday is her day off, and it was sloooow, so there was no obvious reason for her to be there. Uh-oh...

But both the boss and the floorman thanked me for being flexible and changing my shift on short notice. Hell, I had to lighten my mood, so I said Oh yes, I'm very flexible. Even though it doesn't really look like it. I'm a Chinese acrobat trapped in the body of a Sumo wrestler!

Laughs all around...

Still paranoid, I was sure that she was there to serve me a pink slip--but she told me to go tap out one of the other dealers, and it was his turn to sweat--she was there to talk to him, not me. And I ended up working a nice six-hour shift and making a tidy little bundle of money for the day. Woot!

I think I'm safe now. Besides, one of the day shift floor guys told me not to worry about it--he said if they fired everyone who ever walked off with the keys, they wouldn't have any floor people left in the room. But it all worked out, and it's cool. I'm sure if I were in any kind of trouble, they would've kept my ass at home today and let one of the other extra-board dealers have my shift.

I'm sure it was a much bigger deal in my mind than it was in reality, but hey, I was seriously worried for a bit. Halfway through my shift, my stress finally evaporated, and I was back to having fun at work. I only had one table with a few jerkoffs at it, but the rest of my games were pretty damn good.

And I like working the Sunday day shift because I get to see all of my friends who I sometimes miss. It seems like everyone works on Sundays at the casino, so it's fun to talk to everyone. And on Sunday afternoons, I seem to have a ritual down for my early break. I get a half-hour away from the poker room, so I get a fountain Coke at Fatburger, a medium-sized Black Angus sandie at Quizno's, and then hide out in the sports book watching the games and chatting with my gal Lori. It's a perfect little getaway, and I manage to dodge all the negativism that floats around the employee dining room like a stale fart.

Once I finished my shift, I *thought* about putting a few bucks through the Megabucks machine, but luckily some old lady was already there--saving me a twenty spot, I'm sure. I headed up to the garage, and as soon as I got off the elevator, I ran into my crazy Serbian girl Jovanka. I haven't seen her in weeks, so we stood outside chatting for about twenty minutes, until we were both freezing and shivering (it was only 38 degrees outside when I left work). But we made plans to go out in two weeks, as Mondays are her day off, and I usually never work on Mondays, either. So we plan on having an epic Sunday night.

Oh, and another good thing about today--I figured that it was a gimme that the Eagles would beat the Vikings, but not-so-sure about them covering. I thought the money line was a sure thing, so just before kickoff, I went over to the book and laid $50 on the Eagles money line at -170. The Vikings were getting +150, so I took a ration of shiat from a few people in the poker room, saying that the Vikings were getting such good odds that I was a fool to bet the other way.

I was like WTF? I don't care what kind of odds they were getting--I *knew* they were going to lose that game. Brad Childress is probably the worst coach in the league, this side of Herm Edwards, and Tavaris Jackson is a terrible quarterback. There was no way they were gonna win that game. But some folks just look at the odds without factoring in common sense, telling me I should've bet the other way.

People like that are just like the doofus at the poker table who fires a bet into an eight-way pot saying "I know I'm drawing dead, but I'm getting such good pot odds!"

I turned out to be the smart one, because the Eagles won and I cashed my ticket. The clowns on the other side got nothing (except a good price, of course!). As nice as it was to win, I felt kinda dirty for rooting for the Eagles. Ick. I hate the Eagles. I needed a shower as soon as I got home.

Anyhow, that's about all from here. I may have some more stuff posted by tomorrow, but at this very moment, I have no idea what it would be about. In the meantime, I'm gonna sip my rum & Coke and bask in the relief of still being gainfully employed. Unlike this guy:



Mikey

Fashionably Late to the Party, As Usual

Kellee posted this little New Year's quiz up on her site the other day, but I didn't get around to doing it until now. Here ya go, just in case you're interested in even more minutia regarding my life...

1) What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Drank Absinthe. Reminded me of Sambuca and turpentine, with a green tint. Also, I went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. No, not that one, the other one.

2) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? My only resolution was to improve my job situation, which I did, but mostly by falling into it. I wasn't really proactive about it at first until the opportunity presented itself. I'd call it dumb luck more than being a go-getter. As far as resolutions for 2009 go, I'm actually still working on a list. But I won't publish it here, because I know I'll fall waaaay short and don't need you jokers to remind me of it.

3) Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but I haven't ridden the bus in years.

4) Did anyone close to you die? Sadly, yes. My brother-in-law David passed away last spring. We all miss him very much.

5) What countries did you visit? Countries? Hell, I only got out of Nevada once, and that was just to Arizona.

6) What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Health insurance. A decent and regular work schedule.

7) What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 20th. That's the first time I ever made over a thousand dollars in tips in one day.

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting out of the pit, and doing something for a living that I really enjoy.

9) What was your biggest failure? Nothing really bad happened to me this year, other than a few minor missed opportunities here and there. That one big poker tournament at Binion's last summer where I was the first one knocked out still kinda stings whenever I think about it. Epic fail, as the kids like to say.

10) Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope. Just the usual twice a year head cold.

11) What was the best thing you bought? Prescription sunglasses

12) Whose behavior merited celebration? The Mysterious Ali. Just what I needed, right when I needed it.

13) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Probably my own, if I think about it for very long...

14) Where did most of your money go? Truck payments, IRS, and the DMV.

15) What did you get really, really, really excited about? March Madness, the weekend in Phoenix with my buddies, the possibility of time off this Christmas.

16) What song will always remind you of 2008? That god-awful Say What You Need to Say song by John Mayonaisse. I hear it in the casino constantly. By the way, that chorus repeats itself 48 times throughout the course of the song. I actually counted them one morning.

17) Compared to this time last year, are you:- Happier or sadder? Happier. 2008 was actually pretty good for me. Thinner or fatter? Thinner, surprisingly enough. The last round of clothes-buying was one size smaller than usual. Richer or poorer? Hmm... Well, I have a lot less debt, my income is better, but the uncertainty factor dangles over me like the sword of Damocles. Richer, I guess.

18) What do you wish you'd done more of? Naughty things with cocktail waitresses.

19) What do you wish you'd done less of? Gone all-in with Ace-King or Ace-Queen.

20) How will you be spending New Year? I worked all night.

21) Did you fall in love in 2008? Only with Bacon Salt .

22) How many one-night stands? Enough to brag about with my buddies.

23) What was your favorite TV program? The Unit, Deadliest Catch

24) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? A certain douchenozzle who plays in the poker room regularly.

25) What was the best book you read? Freakonomics. Really interesting stuff.

26) What was your greatest musical discovery? Old-school Lounge music. Can't get enough of it. Love it.

27) What did you want and get? A new digital camera

28) What did you want and not get? Time off at Christmas to go back to Nashville

29) What was your favorite film of this year? I didn't see that many, but Role Models entertained me the most.

30) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 41, had dinner at Grimaldi's with friends, then late that night met up with Kimmy for drinks and quality alone time. Good times.

31) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Full-time status at work.

32) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? Once you go black...

33) What kept you sane? Copious amounts of rum. And that stupid LOLcats website. I don't know why, but I find that shiat insanely funny.

34) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Nicole Hiltz

35) What political issue stirred you the most? The same one that always stirs me. Taxes.

36) Who did you miss? Amy. Funniest person I know.

37) Who was the best new person you met? I'm leaning towards Marcie here. There's definitely a slight spark. Besides, the omelettes aren't that farking tasty.

38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: Quit stressing... the money will always show up just in time.

39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: If it doesn't work out there'll never be any doubt that the pleasure was worth all the pain...

Mikey

All Is Quiet

...you know the rest.

I hope everyone survived their New Year's Eve celebrations with minimal damage to liver or automotive conveyances.

I tried to sleep early in the evening, but we had a raging party going on over here at the house. All of my roommate's friends were here, and I don't know any of them, and since I knew I'd be going to work later, I tried to get some rest. Luckily I only encountered one inconsiderate drunk who decided to barge into my bedroom from the bathroom while I was trying to sleep.

But it was a losing battle, and around 9:30 I called the poker room to see how busy they were and to let the floorman know he could call me in early if he needed me. His first words were How soon can you be here?

I told him I'd be there for the next push.

When I got there, the casino was pretty much packed (recession? what recession?), and there were seven games going in the poker room. And I got kinda lucky that my first table was a good no-limit game.

So I stayed very busy all night, but I got a Happy-New-Year message from Kimmy around 11:30, so that made my night. I didn't see her in her usual area, and since it was her usual night off, and she was texting me, I figured that she was out getting silly somewhere. But about an hour later she came strolling over to the poker room to say hey and I got a quick squeeze, which was pretty much the highlight of the shift as far as I was concerned. Turns out she was working, after all.

Oh just before midnight, they started passing out champagne all over the casino, but I was actually dealing at the time. I got pushed a few minutes after the top of the hour, and the boss wanted me to help her bring glasses full of champagne back to the poker room from the service well on the far side of the main cage. There weren't nearly enough cocktail waitresses on hand to bring a drink to every single person in the joint, so I was enlisted.

Well, here's where things get interesting. In my haste to get to work in time for the 10:00 pm push, I'd ran out of the house and forgot to put a belt on. Not too much of a problem when I'm sitting on my ass all day, but walking for any distance requires me to constantly pull up my pants--especially since I've lost about two inches around the waist since last summer and all my work pants are a bit baggy anyways.

I wasn't thinking about it, so I hurried over to the service well, picked up eight glasses of champagne with my bare hands (no tray) and started walking back to the poker room, about 50 yards away.

I got about halfway before I realized I had a problem on my hands. I was about to lose my drawers just like that night in the strip club, yet my hands were full and I had no place to set the glasses down--there were no tables anywhere nearby, and somebody would've had to take them from me even if there were a table handy, just because of the staggered way I was carrying them.

So I shortened my stride to keep my knees together, and I duck-walked the rest of the way to the poker room. If anyone would've noticed me, they would've bet that I was trying not to shiat my pants, just by seeing the way I was walking and the sudden sweat on my brow. Had I been wearing some fun novelty boxers at the time, I would've just said farkit, and walked the rest of the way with my drawers at my ankles just for the laugh. But I was wearing some faded and well-worn boxer-briefs, so if gravity took over, people would be laughing at me, not with me...

I barely made it. I stopped at the doorway, had somebody grab about half the glasses, and I used my free hand to pull my pants up, because they were about one breath away from going south for good.

Whew. Disaster averted. I saved a lot of people from seeing something that would haunt their nightmares for a long time...

After that, it was pretty much all bidness for the rest of the night. I was locked down for good after 2:00 am, and the 4-8 game carried on all night, and was still going at six when my relief showed up. Luckily the money was good, and if I do half as well tonight, I'll feel pretty good about how my 2009 is starting off.

I stopped to get some juice and Gatorade on the way home (was feeling especially dehydrated after that long shift), and set the DVR to record the Rose Parade before I passed out. I got a good six or seven hours of sleep, and I've been watching football ever since. (How about that Pac-10? Five and O, baby!)

Anyhow, I'm hoping I get called in early again tonight, because I'd love to get another full shift in. I'll spend my Friday in bed if that happens, because then I go back to doing a couple of day shifts again, which just farks with my system to no end.

That's about it for now. Y'all have a good one.

Mikey

Has It Been Nine Years Already?

So... Who remembers the biggest hoax ever perpetuated (besides global warming, I mean)?

Yup, I'm talking about Y2K. Remember the hysteria? Remember all the millions (billions?) that companies spent making their systems 'compliant'? I was working for Schwab all the time, and the worst phone call to take, which came in at least twice a week, was some old codger wanting me to "explain this whole Y2K thing..." because you know he was gonna be another jackass calling on New Year's Day, wondering if his money was still there...

Gag.

What a joke it turned out to be. I especially liked listening to all of the newly-created survivalists hoarding bottled water and canned goods, preparing for the Apocalypse. Me? I just hoarded ammunition, figuring that food and water would take care of itself if one had enough ammo. (Luckily I've matured since then. Next time we have an impending 'crisis' on our hands like Y2K, I'll make sure I have a can opener and plenty of toilet paper, too).

The good thing about working in a brokerage is that I always had weekends and holidays off, so when they announced that everyone had to work on New Year's Day, nobody was happy.

I had plans on New Year's Eve, as did all of my friends. My buddy Devin was hosting a party, and I certainly didn't want to miss that, and I'd also just started seeing this gal named Corrine, and we planned on spending the evening together. My buddies all hated her because she was batshiat crazy, but she was filthy rich and had a nice rack, so you know, I thought it'd be worth it for awhile.

Classy guy that I am, I took her to the Macaroni Grill for dinner that night (actually, we had *just* started dating, and I didn't know until the last minute that we'd be going out, so it was the only place we could get a reservation). After dinner, we motored back down to Chandler to Devin's house, and we spent the balance of the evening sipping on cocktails and sneaking out to the garage to hit the bong. Quite a sight, a bunch of us sitting around in a circle on upside-down buckets, wearing our nice clothes, passing the torch, so to speak...

The TV was on, so we were watching the New Year hit the other time zones, then when the time came we donned our hats, popped the confetti, made some noise, sipped some champagne, and welcomed the new millennium with nice sloppy wet kiss. And a grope, if I remember correctly...

Everyone had to be at work at 6:00 am, but Corrine and I were the first ones to hit the road. I think we were back at my place, rolling around in front of the fireplace by 12:45. Good times!

Since it was our 'first date', she didn't have any spare clothes with her, so she bailed around 4:00 am to run home and get ready for work. I snoozed for another forty five minutes or so, then got dressed. I purposely didn't shave--my small way of sticking it to The Man for making me work.

It was tough to make it to the office, but I made it, and everyone else crawled in just under the wire, too. Of course we were all hung over. I guess the clowns who worked the general 24-hour service line had gotten the worst of the dumbass phone calls the night before, and since everything else civilization-related on the outside world hadn't suffered the slightest hiccup, our phones were silent.

But we were fully staffed, so we needed to entertain ourselves. Some enterprising souls had set up a miniature golf course that wound it's way through the department. Instead of having CNBC on all of the TVs, we watched the Rose Parade and ESPN. The guys in my area just entertained ourselves by tossing nerf balls around and surfing the internet (everybody who works in a cube farm has a nerf ball in the drawer, don't they?). Corrine's cube was about 75 feet away, so I called her and told her to come over and hang with us. But she wanted to stay put in her area, citing the fact that "all those guys over there know what we were doing last night..." I had no idea how to respond to that, so I just let it go.

Of course, the VPs in charge felt bad for making us work, so they provided free food in the cafeteria that day. I remember going upstairs for 'breakfast' at 8:00 am and finding all-you-can-eat hot dogs and hamburgers. Nice.

Finally, once we came back from our meal break, the bosses declared the day a dud and sent us all home to sleep it off. Corrine headed for home, as did most of my buddies, but as I was walking out to the parking lot, I ran into a couple of gals from one of my recent training classes, and they invited me to go out with them. So we went to a local bar for some bloody Marys, and we ended up sitting there all day long watching bowl games and drinking beer. I finally made it home sometime after dark, went straight to bed, and slept for about ten hours straight.

The Apocalypse would have to wait for another day.

Mikey

They're Not Just Skinny Fanboys Drinking Overpriced Coffee. Some Of Them Are Pervs, Too!

I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year tonight, especially my new reader in Houston who was led here by doing a Google Image Search for "girls sucking boobs" on his iPhone.

Hmm... I've always been of the opinion that nothing drives new technology like the ability to use it to access pr0n. Stealing music is waaaay down the list...

Me? I have no iPhone, and my computer is pretty much just a thousand-dollar deck of cards.

Mikey

If Blog Posts Were Food, I'm Serving Tapas Today

Little plates of randomness...

I think my run on Amazon has finally ended for awhile. All the presents are here (a few arrived a bit late), and I couldn't help but jump on some after-Christmas sales and get some stuff for dirt-cheap.

For instance, I've had the movie The Sting on my wishlist forever, but it was always priced at like $23--way too much for a DVD that didn't come with a ten-dollar bill folded up inside. It finally went on sale for like eleven bucks, so I grabbed it. Lots of books and such were also on sale, so I picked up a few deeply discounted items, the last of which arrived today.

One of the things I got were some new earbuds for my iPod. Actually, they're not earbuds at all--I got some Sennheiser noise-attenuating earphones. First of all, the white earbuds that come with the iPod are awfully uncomfortable. And for some reason, I was always having to adjust them--they would never stay put. They sound ok, but the one thing I really don't like about them is the color. Yep, I've always kinda resented the subtle marketing ploy of having white speaker wire to announce to the world how cool and trendy you are because you are using an iPod. Oh yeah, I admit, I love my iPod, but I certainly don't buy into the whole Cult of Apple that so many untanned slackers in skinny jeans do. I don't need to have my coolness validated by the color of my earphones. White is also the color of sheep, people. Ironic, huh?

Anyhow, due to irritating combo of uncomfortableness and the mug-me color, I wanted a change. I've been looking for a suitable replacement for some time, and eventually I settled on the Sennheisers. Of course, all the good reviews come at a price, and they wanted like $45 for some portable frickin earbuds. I decided to wait. When they finally got marked down to twenty bucks last week, I jumped on the deal.

They arrived this morning, and once I finally got that modern day plastic chastity belt known as clamshell packaging removed, I gave them a test drive. First of all, they come with three sized of padding included, and I put the biggest ones on. Before I put them in, I noticed that the cords were asymmetrical beyond the split junction--the left-side one was about a foot shorter than the right-side one.

WTF?

Reading the instructions, I saw that the right side speaker wire is supposed to go around behind your neck. Ah--that makes much more sense, and when you wear them like that, the combination of gravity and shirt buttons doesn't conspire to pull them out of your ears. Very clever!

Anyhow, the sound quality is very good, just like all the reviews say. But the noise dampening of the padding might work just a little too well--it completely blocked out all ambient outside noise, so the only thing I could hear was my own breathing. I can't even imagine trying to eat something crunchy while wearing them. As bad as they'd be for a poker tournament (you gotta be able to hear some outside conversation) they'd be fantastic on a long flight with crying babies. But I still have the other smaller pads, so I'm guessing they would work better in situations where I didn't need to be cocooned in my own personal fortress of solitude.

So yeah, I give them a thumbs-up. Not only do they work very well, but I don't look like I drink the apple-flavored Kool-Aid, either. Besides, black is slimming, and well, you know, I could use all the help I can get...

Mikey

The Train that Runs Every Seven Minutes

Ok, that Ozzy Osbourne World of Warcraft commercial drives me nuts. Why? Well, first of all, I'm of the belief that WoW players are, as a group, not much more than a huge group of basement-dwelling dorks. Ok, lemme amend that. None of my readers who play. Y'all are all well-adjusted and socially adept. It's them other people...

But it's the intro to the song Crazy Train, where he yells All ABOARD!!! that makes me do a double take every time I hear it. Why is that? Because Crazy Train is Mamasan's ringtone on my phone! So every seven minutes or so when that commercial runs on ESPN (which is always the background noise in my bedroom), it makes me jump and look at my cellphone. It doesn't help that the commercials are so much louder than the regular programming on the TV, so whenever I hear it, I can't help but think for a split-second that my phone is ringing.

I guess it could be worse--I mean, I'm very much ok with my mom not calling thirty or forty times a day, and if there were a commercial that got that much airplay that featured something like She's A Lady (Beth's ringtone), Hopelessly in Love (Kimmy's ringtone), Push It (Andrea's ringtone), or Mrs. Robinson (Angy's ringtone), then I'd probably just be disappointed all the time.

Oh well, I guess I could just change the channel and keep something like HGTV running in the background. But if I did that, I'd miss out on all the rest of ESPN's ear candy like Lou Holtz, Stephen A. Smith, or Stuart Scott.

Mikey

Out With A Whimper

Well, here we are, the end of another year.

2008, I gotta admit, was a pretty good one for me. Of all the things that went my way this past year, the job upgrade is first and foremost in my mind. I think if I were still dealing Pai Gow every night, with the occasional foray to the $5 blackjack table and the annoying dice game, I'd probably be kinda bitter about things. Especially since I left the pit, and the nightly average tokes are down about $25 each (causation or correlation???). Oh, yeah, I'm still a little bitter about a few things, but overall, I can't complain too much. I know how lucky I am.

And I've got much to look forward to this year--March Madness with my buddies, a likely trip back to Nashville for my birthday, a family cruise this fall, and a promise of time off next Christmas. I'll probably make it out to Phoenix at least once or twice to see my old gang, too.

So life ain't too bad in the grand scheme.

On the other hand, the day-to-day grind somehow manages to take my mind off the bigger picture, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who suffers from that affliction.

Anyhow...

I'm quite well-rested today, and will probably get a lot done before I head back to the casino tonight. I went in last night, got there about 15 minutes before my shift started, and just as I walked up to the poker room, the only table we had going broke up and closed. Suddenly I had less game Drew Peterson standing in Jerry Maguire's living room.

I never even took my jacket off. I hung out for a bit, went over and talked to Kimmy for a second, and then came on back home. I tried to stay up and read, but I didn't make it an hour before falling asleep. I'm hoping tonight is juicy, because it's pay-the-bills time again on Friday. Normally, I can anticipate the swings of good nights and bad nights, but to make zero dollars ain't much fun.

So that was my last shift of 2008, as it stands right now. I'm scheduled to go in tonight at 1:00 am, which isn't exactly ideal, because that means I can't really go out and do anything, and I certainly can't go out and get silly before work, either. I'm just hoping that it's so busy tonight that I get called in a couple of hours early. If I can't be out having fun, I might as well be working... Besides that, I really don't want to be out on the road at 12:30 am on New Years in the World's Drunkest City.

I may post again later today, not sure yet. We'll see how the afternoon goes.

Mikey

What Say, Fuzzybritches

...feel like talkin' typin'?

Actually, no, I don't. Not that I'm being pissy or whiney or whatever, I'm just not feeling like spending quality time with the keyboard this week. Two days of graveyard shift, followed by two days of day shift really kicked my ass, and then I followed it up with a long night of drinking with my buddy Ed W.

Besides, I've got a big stack of new books on the nightstand, so I've spend the last two days hiding out in my cave reading, when I wasn't sleeping.

I'm about to catch another cat-nap for a couple of hours, then it's back to the casino for me. I'm working the next three nights, so no New Year's partying for me, although my roommate is getting the house ready for a celebration.

Anyhow, I'll probably post a bunch tomorrow, but right now, I'm just not motivated.

Mikey

The Answers

Ok everyone, now that you've had a few days to digest all of the movie quotes, I'll go ahead and give you the answers. Nobody got more than three right, so yeah, it was probably a little tougher than it needed to be. Next time, I throw in a few more gimmes.

Without further adieu...

1. We move swift. We move silent. We move deadly. Only one shake of those wangs ladies. Anymore than that constitutes pleasure and we're not in that business.

--Gunnery Sergeant Tom Highway, aka Clint Eastwood, in Heartbreak Ridge. I was going back and forth between this quote or Stitch Jones saying She's got some angry titties, boy...

2. That's the one good thing about Paris: there's a lot of girls willing to take their clothes off.

--Leo DiCaprio in Titanic. I figured if I used his 'making it count' speech, everyone would have gotten it too easily.

3. You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?

--I forget the character's name, but the line is from one of the funniest movies of all time-- Snatch.

4. This is a story you will tell your grandchildren; and mightily bored they'll be.

--NOBODY got this one, but it's rather obscure. It's from A Bridge Too Far, when they unveil the Market Garden invasion plans to the British Paratroops.

5. Luther said I could learn some things from you… I already know how to drink.

--Robert Redford in The Sting, one of my all-time favorite movies.

6. Ask your girlfriend. She's the one who's calling all the shots now. She won't shut up.

--I thought more people would get this one, but nobody did. It was from National Treasure.

7. On the most exalted throne in the world, we are seated on nothing but our own arse.

--This is also a favorite movie of mine, Otto Preminger's In Harm's Way. Every time it comes on AMC, The History Channel, or TNT, I can't help but sit and watch it. John Wayne, Kirk Douglas, Henry Fonda, and Patricia Neal starred. Henry Fonda actually uttered this line when his character, Admiral Nimitz, gave 'Rock' his Admiral's stars.

8. Ok, you've heard of Aretha Franklin right? She's a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people's minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem? Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I'm sexy, and chubby, man.

--This line is from the only Jack Black movie worth a damn. School of Rock.

9. Oh, great. You get the girl, I get the coroner.

--Kevin Spacey's character in L.A. Confidential. What a great movie all-around. And tons of great dialogue to choose from, too.

10. You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.

--I thought more people would get this one, but it was Al Capone (De Niro) in The Untouchables. Perhaps the fact that it came out 20 years ago might've had something to do with the fact that very few people knew this one.

11. I don't know about that, father. Your guy may be bigger than my guy up there, but my guy is bigger than your guy down here.

--'C' in A Bronx Tale.

12. To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.

--Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Everybody loves this movie, and it's one of my all-time favorites. I love the twist at the end.

13. With all due respect, sir, I believe this is gonna be our finest hour.

--This is the easiest one of the group, as most people seemed to get this one right away. It's Ed Harris in Apollo 13.

14. You better shape up, Tiger, or some hotshot Jap pilot's gonna flame your ass!

--Charlton Heston in Midway. In Sensurround, as Marty pointed out. I saw this in the theatre in 1977 and thought it was the awesomest movie ever. And yeah, Heston's son in the picture was a whiny bitch that needed a good ass-whoopin'.

15. I don't tolerate this sort of thing. It's hard on the peace, and it's hard on the furniture. Now, knowing a bit about Carter here, I'm going to let you go without paying for the damages, but go you will, and I mean now.

--John Cleese as the Sherriff of the town of Turley, in the movie Silverado. Probably one of the most entertaining westerns I've ever seen. I remember being on a date in high school, or shortly thereafter, and seeing it--laughed all the way through it.

16. I find that smuggling is the life for me, and would be delighted to kill your friend the maggot!

--Has anyone besides me seen the latest version of The Count of Monte Cristo?

17. Don't you sometimes feel that this is the kind of life we were meant to live on this earth? Everything we need, everything, right here, right at our fingertips. You know, if only people could have all this and be satisfied, I don't think there'd be any real problems in the world.

--The dad in Swiss Family Robinson was a wise man.

18. I regret trifling with married women. I'm thoroughly ashamed at cheating at cards. I deplore my occasional departures from the truth. Forgive me for taking your name in vain, my Saturday drunkenness, my Sunday sloth. Above all, forgive me for the men I've killed in anger… and those I am about to.

--Marty nailed this one in the comments section. It's from The Cowboys. I think I was about five years old when I saw this movie at the drive-in for the first time. Has Bruce Dern always been a dirtbag?

19. You're legally allowed to drink now, so we figured the best thing for you was a car.

--Nobody got this one? What if I said REEEEEE-TAINER!... Would you get it then? It's from Good Will Hunting.

20. Oh, he proposed to her four times already, said he would leave his wife and kids, convert from Catholic to Baptist. Now you know that's some mean pussy to make a man change Gods.

--Critics hated this movie, and it kinda bombed at the box office. But I thought it was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Harlem Nights anyone? Redd Foxx, Richard Pryor, and Eddie Murphy at their best.

21. Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarrassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?

--Tom Cruise grabs Renee Zellwegger's boob in Jerry Maguire.

22. Father Bobby would have made a good hit-man. It's a shame we lost him to the other side.

--I can't remember the character, but he was talking about Robert De Niro in Sleepers.

23. Like all Brits, he thinks he was born with a better pot to piss in.

--This would've been much easier if I'd gone with 'Greed is good'. Yeah, it was Gordon Gecko in Wall Street.

24. Only a pimp from a cheap New Orleans whorehouse would carry a pearl-handled pistol.

--This one was pretty easy, too. Everyone knows it was George C. Scott in Patton. Back in the day, I could get drunk and do that entire opening speech. I've forgotten most of it now.

25. What did you do, wake up this morning and say "Today I'm going to ruin a man's life"?

--No, not Gordon Gecko again, but close. Jack 'Trustworthy' Colton in Romancing the Stone.


So I hope everyone enjoyed it. If I do it again, I'll try and make it a little easier next time around.

Mikey

Friday Night Restlessness

Here it is, Friday evening in Vegas, and my system is so effed up I'm not quite sure what to do... I worked the graveyard shift the past two nights, as usual, but tomorrow I have to work at 9:00 am--right about the time I'm usually winding down and going to sleep. Now, I got a bit of a nap today, but I'll need to force myself to sleep tonight or else I'm going to be a wreck tomorrow.

And it's not like it's gonna be a big money day, either--I'm dealing a big freeroll tournament where we don't make shiat for money. The only redeeming factor is that it will be a fun day because everyone in the department will be working, and my co-workers are a great group of people for the most part. Even though it'll be a miserable tournament, I'll have company. Working the graveyard shift, I don't really get to see too many people. There are maybe three dealers there when I get in every night, and by the time my shift is over, I'm the last of the Mohicans. So working a middle-of-the-day shift will be a bit more social.

So tonight, I've got to force myself to sleep when I'm normally working, and tomorrow, I've got to force myself to stay awake when I'm normally sleeping. I'm sure I'll be a zombie by Sunday night.

Adding to my potential exhaustion is the fact that Jen wants to go out tomorrow night after work, too. We'll probably find some place to hole up and drink for awhile, but I'm guessing that it'll be an early night for me.

Last night wasn't nearly as lucrative as Christmas morning was. I worked two hours longer and made about thirty bucks less--that's never fun. The game was full of drunks, two of which we had to cut off, and if it wasn't obnoxious drunks, it was newbies that had no idea what they were doing, acting out of turn, repeatedly asking how much they could bet, etc. Not a fun night at all. Luckily it ended around 6:30 or so and I got out before the old farts showed up.

After my shift, I hung out for a bit talking to the graveyard floorman and the morning dealer--I didn't want to come home too early because my roommate's brother is here for the holidays and sleeping on the couch, and I didn't want to come sneaking in and give him the blast of cold air when I opened the front door, much less set the dogs off barking and waking everyone up. So I stuck around shootin' the shiat with the fellers there in the poker room, while the cocktail waitress brought us drinks and hung out with us too, as she had no customers to tend to. Hell, to walk by and see us sitting there in the corner around an empty poker table, you'd think you would've walked in to our own life-sized version of the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Eventually, the old guys started shuffling in, as did the day-shift floorman, so our party broke up. The floorman, who I worked with all summer, told me he had a card for me, so I stuck around while he ran back out to his car to get it. He came back a few minutes later with my Christmas card, and I was shocked to see that inside, there was a $50 gift card to Outback Steakhouse. That was really nice!

I thanked him, said goodbye to everyone, and finally headed out. When I got outside, I was amazed at what a beautiful day it was out here in Vegas--it was one of those 100-mile blue sky days that is so clear that you can see forever. When I got to work the night before, it was rainy, cold, and overcast, and this morning, it was just awesome outside. Clear and cold, and all of the mountains surrounding he valley were covered in snow. I wish I would've had my camera with me, because it was a gorgeous day.

I was hungry, so of course I headed back over to the Omelet House. I was seated immediately, at my usual table (Been there five times now, each time I've sat at the exact same table). Unfortunately, my gal Marcie wasn't around, and some dude was my server. I ordered a cup of coffee and looked over the menu for a bit. I decided to have pancakes and bacon, with a glass of juice. Just after I ordered, my waiter told me that Marcie had just shown up, and a few minutes later, she was out there at my table visiting with me before her shift started. She told me all about her Christmas and we had a nice conversation. And she made me memorize her schedule so that I could plan my meals around when she was working.

Breakfast was very good, and of course I could come close to finishing it--the pancakes were huge, and three of them were more than enough. It was slow enough that I was able to linger and visit for a bit, but once the crowds started making their way in, I said goodbye, paid my tab, and headed back to the house.

I tried to stay awake as long as possible, but it was a losing battle. I *really* wanted to go outside and take advantage of the beautiful day--maybe check out one of those hiking trails out at Lake Mead, but damn, as willing as the spirit was, the flesh was just too weak. I lasted about an hour before passing out in bed and getting my snooze on.

I didn't get as much sleep as needed--once I woke up a couple hours later, I forced myself to stay awake, just so that I'd sleep tonight. This mixed-up schedule is hell on my system...

Anyhow, that's the news from here. I wish I had more interesting stuff to report, but things are kind of mellow.

Y'all have a good weekend!

Mikey