Hurricane Mikey

No Need to Worry

2011-11-16T22:41:00.000-06:00

Mikey

Hurricane Mikey's Day Off

2011-10-04T13:02:00.000-05:00

Ok, so maybe I won't be cruising around Chicago in a 'borrowed' Ferrari, taking in a Cubs game, impersonating Abe Froman, or even crashing a parade today, but still, it's nice to be away from the cube farm for more than a few hours.

Yep, it's my day off. Luckily, I woke up early and got most of my chores done, so the afternoon is mine. Now I haven't forgotten about you fine folks, I'm still working on my road trip post, (and doing the the frustrating process of transferring pics from the iPhone to the un-Appled laptop), but of course there are other priorities out there that are taking up my time. For instance, the Cardinals are playing the Phillies this afternoon, and the game starts in just a few hours. Once that begins, all other activities come to a screeching halt. I'd love to see 'em win this series, if only to torture the boorish Philadelphia fans. Anyone who would boo Santa Claus doesn't deserve any type of sports happiness (and oh did they ever get to suck on it on Sunday!)

Speaking of Sunday, I was remarkably consistent, going 3-for-5 once again. Of course I got effed by Chicago, just like I figured I would. Oh well. I've still got a pretty good record for the season (13-7-1), which has triggered an avalanche of emails from handicapping websites offering me guaranteed locks for only $99 each. Don't know how I could ever pass up a bargain like that... Once I confer with my Nigerian business associates that I met on Facebook, I'm sure an appropriate arrangement can be made.

By the way, did anyone notice that summer finally left us for good? It was downright COLD a couple of nights this week, prompting me to dig out the sweaters and long-sleeved shirts for work. Man, I am *not* at all ready for winter again. Of course this time around it won't be so hard on me because I'm off of the blood thinners, but I'd really like to be able to enjoy fall this year--last year I was all invalided up and unable to do too much.

I was thinking of another camping trip in a couple of weeks, but it's getting downright chilly around here and it's probably not a good idea to go off by myself just yet. So I don't know what I'm going to do with my upcoming four-day weekend.

As far as time off goes, my buddy Jim was trying to talk me into going up to St. Louis today and tomorrow to just hang out downtown and enjoy the vibe around the stadium while the Cardinals were taking care of business. Tickets were impossible to get, so that was out, but just going and soaking in the environment of St. Louis when the Cards are in the playoffs is something to be savored. It's a 100% baseball town, and this time of year, well, the vibe is like nothing else. It's just a great place to be.

But I couldn't swing it, so I'll be watching the game from the easy chair in the den instead of at one of the indoor-outdoor bars outside of Busch Stadium with the rest of the fanatics who were unable to score tickets. That's ok, I'll be back again soon. We made plans to do a couple more baseball weekends next year, and there's a chance that I'll be going back up there in November to see the SeaChickens/Rams game. Otherwise known as the 'Who Cares Bowl'. Shockingly, there are plenty of tickets still available...

Anyhow, that's the news from here right now. I've got a few ideas in the hopper for other posts, but I've been having a hard time getting my internal GPS to direct me to the corner of Spare Time and Creativity, but I'm working on it.

Y'all be cool,

and-

GO CARDS!!!!

Mikey

Power Picks

2011-09-30T00:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, I know I promised to have my trip story posted, but y'all know how I get once I start writing--sometimes I just can't stop. So yeah, it's going to be a long one, and it's still a work in progress. And had there not been four absolutely amazing baseball games on all at the same time on Wednesday night, there would be even more progress. But I was up late waiting for the Braves to lose, so I didn't get any writing done that night. And on Thursday night I didn't turn on the TV at all, even though I've got a week's worth of new shows recorded on the DVR that I need to catch up on. So I spent the whole evening at the keyboard, working on an interesting post for y'all.

Suddenly, around 11:00 at night, I realized that I didn't have my football picks done yet, either. So here I am, staying up late on a school night, trying to get my 'homework' done, just because I'm committed to you folks (like anyone cares about my football picks, but hey, I have to stick with something to keep me posting on a regular basis).

So here we go. Remember, home team in CAPS. (And although it's not good form to gloat, lest the gambling gods smite thee, I can't help but strut my peacock feathers at my winning record. I went 3-2 last week, giving me an overall 10-5-1 record for the season. A few more weeks like that and I'm going to buy an Italian suit, a can of pomade, and a pinky ring)

Detroit +1.5 over DALLAS I'm still riding the Lions bandwagon, while Dallas doesn't look like they should be favored against anyone except the NFC West (which should be renamed the Bowl Season Big Ten, but the commish never returns my calls). And as much as I want to dislike Romo, he's still pretty good when he doesn't have his head up his ass. But oh dear lord that center sucks, which in turn makes the quarterback look like a doofus. Remember how back in school at recess you had to let the 'special' kid play, so you always stuck him out in right field so he couldn't hurt your team? Well, in the NFL, there really isn't a right field, and the Cowboys are stuck with Corky at center. And he's going to be even more skittish than usual with Ndomicanhoweverthefuckyouspellit Suh charging across the line like an angry Forrest Whitaker playing for Ridgemont High. I see a bunch of turnovers in this game, and on Monday morning, Jerry Jones will be giving Romo another vote of confidence.

Buffalo -3 over CINCINNATI There's an old cliche in the stock-trading world that says The trend is your friend, and while this is a textbook trap game after circling the wagons against the Patriots last week, I still think that the Bills are much more than a field goal better than the Bengals. So of course I'm picking them to remain perfect. I just can't see them losing their undefeated virginity to Cincy, or even letting them get to third base, which everyone knows is the innuendo equivalent of losing by a field goal.

CHICAGO -6 over Carolina I'm surprised that the Bears aren't favored by a full touchdown at home. But then I remember that Mike Martz is the offensive coordinator and I hate myself for picking the Bears. Yeah, I endured far too many seasons as a Rams fan watching him trying to convince the rest of the league of his genius, while refusing to utilize the running game. However, they are playing the Panthers, and while Cam Newton is definitely more fun to watch than Jay Cutler (except when Cutler is getting sacked, that's almost as fun as seeing Tom Brady get turfed), I don't think that Carolina has enough horses to stay with the Bears. Of course, if the Bears have twice as many pass plays as run plays, I reserve the right to take this pick back and join the Windy City Chorus demanding Martz's head on a platter.

Tennessee +1 over CLEVELAND As much as it pains me to do so, I'm picking the Titans in this one. I'm a bit surprised at how well they're playing this year--I thought they'd be a stinker like KC or Indy has turned out to be, but they're doing pretty well after paying 'Truck Munt' that huge contract not to play very much (oh yeah, you've *got* to see the Chris Johnson commercial for the local Ford dealership out here--it just kills me. Brothaman ain't the most articulate spokesmodel in the world). I figure that the Browns might be just a bit better than the Broncos, and a whole lot worse than the Ravens. Tennessee has beaten them both in the past two weeks, so that's my justification.

GREEN BAY -12.5 over Denver I'm gladly laying the points on this one, because Green Bay is a scoring machine and the Broncos are the perfect team for the Packers defense to make a statement against. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that if there's a shut-out this week, this is the game where it would happen. (Oh wait, who are the Chiefs playing?) Pack wins big this week.

Now, being that it's Friday, I won't be coming home tonight, so there won't be a new post up until Sunday night at the earliest, more than likely on Monday morning. I'm heading over to the hippie's house for a night of buffoonery, then I have to work on Saturday. Sunday is devoted to worshiping at the alter of the NFL RedZone channel, and oh by the way, my Cardinals have some baseball to play this weekend, too.

Peace out!

Mikey

Back to My Cell

2011-09-28T07:58:00.000-05:00

My five days of goofing off are over. I'm on my way back to the office this morning, and of course, I ain't happy about it. I had an excellent weekend in St. Louis, and I'll share pictures and stories later this evening. I was hoping to do so last night, but yesterday as I was setting up different doctor's appointments, I had a chance to get a late walk-in appointment with the eye doctor (I broke those glasses I got back in the day when Rob and I lived in the Man Cave in Henderson), so I headed down to get that done. While there, I had to get my eyes dilated, so I was walking around like Stevie Wonder after that, making it was impossible for me to sit at the computer--it hurt my eyes too much.

As much as the computer bothered my eyes, the TV didn't, so I hung out watching ESPN all night--loved that 'Catching Hell' documentary, and then I followed it up with the WSOP coverage. And after all that, I had to stay up and watch the score crawl to find out that the Cardinals won, giving them more of a shot at the wild card. So that's what I was doing last night instead of sitting at the keyboard. Even this morning, my eyes are still a bit sensitive, so hanging out in my cube and using the computer all day at work is gonna be fun.

Also, it looks like I went 3-for-5 on my NFL picks this Sunday, so my winning record continues. On the other hand, I witnessed the Rams beating up-close and personal (my seat was ten rows off the field), which sucked, although it was still a lot of fun to go to the game. By the way, I know that anecdotal evidence is not data, but it seems that Ravens fans aren't the most attractive group of people in the world--except for my gal Carmen, she's a hottie--but overall, everyone sitting in the stands that had a purple jersey on seemed like they came from the Island of Misfit Toys. But the Rams fans in St. Louis, well, of course that was a good-looking crowd!

But we'll talk more about my weekend later this evening. Right now, I have to shower, shave, put some shoes on, and try and go make a little bit of money.

More stuff here tomorrow...

Mikey

Road Dogs and Road Trips

2011-09-23T08:33:00.000-05:00

So yeah, I haven't posted all week, but damn--it's hard to stay on top of this when I work a full forty every week and have a sixty-mile commute each day, too. Just goes to show how good I had it back in Vegas when I worked a solid 18 hours each week and commuted a mile-and-a-half to the casino.

Been a long time since dem days...

Even with a lot less time on my hands, I can still spare a few minutes to gloat as I went 4-1-1 last week. Only Green Bay with that suspect defense let me down. This week, however, I feel a great disturbance in the force, like millions of bettors crying out in terror and and were suddenly silenced. I'm not feeling hugely confident in any of these picks, so it's probably a good thing that there is no sports book handy. Regardless, I'm still going to put 'em out there, so here we go:

New York Football Giants +8 over PHILADELPHIA I really hate this pick, but the dog-slayer is concussed, and even when he wasn't, his stats weren't very good. But is it ever a good idea to take Eli Manning on the road? Normally, this would be a stay-away for me, but eight points is just too much chalk, and I need a road dog. G-men!

Detroit -3.5 over MINNESOTA I think I'm gonna ride this Lions bandwagon for a little while. The Vikings are by far the worst team in this top-heavy division, and betting against Donovan McNabb is always fun and sometimes profitable. BTW, without looking, can anyone besides Doc Al name Minnesota's head coach?

Green Bay -3.5 over CHICAGO The unstoppable Green Bay offense against the tough Chicago defense--should be a great match-up, as always. But when the ball is going the other way, with Green Bay unable to stop pretty much anyone, Jay Cutler has to remain upright to hurt them. I wouldn't count on it, but then, I didn't expect the Packers to suddenly become the Indianapolis Colts of the past decade--a score-at-will offense with a JV defense. Still, the Pack should win by at least a touchdown.

OAKLAND +3.5 over New York Jets First of all, Oakland is better than people think this year. Ok, lemme rephrase that. Oakland is not as bad as everyone thinks they are. And it seems that every year, the Jets have a couple of WTF? games where they just play terribly. I think this is one of those games. Also, it seems that the Jets worry way too much about what the other teams in the AFC east are doing and how they're going to match up against them, so a long road trip against team that they don't seem to squabble with seems to be a trap game. Besides, as much as I'd like to be on the Sanchez bandwagon, he reminds me too much of Brad Johnson as a quarterback--more of a game manager type with the very occasional big play in his pocket, but it doesn't seem like you can count on him when you need it--a-la Big Ben in Pittsburgh. I think the Raiders not only cover, but win outright.

Atlanta +1.5 over TAMPA BAY Ok, so I found another road dog, but it doesn't seem to me like the Falcons should be underdogs in this game. Conventional wisdom has the Bucs coming back to earth this year, and I believe the second NFC wild-card team comes out of this division. I think it's going to be the Falcons.

And in case y'all aren't keeping track, I'm now 7-3-1 for the year. If I keep up this torrid pace, you'll soon find me screaming at the local Las Vegas radio audience every Sunday morning offering my 900-number and my exclusive five-star locks of the week! (Seriously--every damn radio station in Vegas every Sunday morning is nothing but handicappers literally yelling for three hours straight about their 'service'--very annoying).

Also, as much as I enjoy parking my ass on the couch and doing the Vulcan mind-meld with the NFL Red Zone channel for seven hours straight each week, I will be unable to do so this weekend. I'm actually going to a game. No, not the Broncos - Titans snoozer where Tebow finally gets his shot--I will be attending the Ravens-Rams game in St. Louis on Sunday! Yep--love my Rams, and while I don't have high hopes for their success this week--they eat up huge chunks of yards but stall inside the ten on every drive, or it seems that their receiving corps is a bunch of Braylon Edwards clones, unable to hold onto anything that hits them between the numbers--I can't wait to see 'em. Regardless of the beat down that I'm afraid is coming, I'll be there cheering them on and hoping they pull out a miracle.

One of my high-school buddies, Jim, who I haven't seen in almost twenty years, scored us some tickets down in the end zone, ten rows up from the field, directly behind the goal posts. So y'all may see me in the highlights, especially since the Rams have an affinity for field goals instead of touchdowns. But I digress--it will be a great time. I'm taking off in about three hours and road-tripping up to St. Louis today, and I'll be up there for the next five days. I'm also going to be spending some quality time with my gal Angela, my date from my Senior Prom.

Yep--it's been 26 years and a whole head of hair since then, but we found each other almost a year ago through the 'miracle' of Facebook, so we've got a fun weekend planned. And while I wanted to get to the Cardinals-Cubs game on Saturday, now that the Cards are back in the wild-card hunt, tickets are harder to find than an old Nova with matching doors. Besides, Jim can't get down until late on Saturday (he lives in Chicago), so instead, Angela and I will be doing touristy stuff that day.

So that means that I need to wrap it up, pack my suitcase, and get on the road. Even though I won't be working anytime soon, I still won't have time to make any updates, but I promise that there will be more content here either late on Tuesday night or early on Wednesday--and from then on, I'm gonna try to do the Linda Lou thing and get at least three new posts up every week.

Y'all have a great weekend!

Mikey

It's Friday, Must Be Time For My Football Picks

2011-09-16T06:52:00.000-05:00

Hey, going 3-for-5 ain't too shabby if there's a sports book handy. Of course, there isn't one within a days drive of me, so all I can do is dream of what would have been. Actually, had I had access to a bookie, I know I would've lost much more on college bets, and probably frittered away a few more bucks on suckeriffic NFL parlays, too.

But I'll take a 60% winning percentage every day. At least until I get my hands on Marty McFly's sports almanac.

Until then, these are the best I can do:

BUFFALO -3 over Oakland. I can't believe that Vegas has these two teams rated as even. Of course, they did both beat pretty shiatty AFC west teams last weekend, so it's hard to tell. But if I were still wearing an ugly brown polyester shirt to work and trying to score with cocktail waitresses every night, I'd wander a few feet away from my office and bet this one heavy.

PITTSBURGH -14 over Seattle. Man, this game is just screaming to be part of a three-team teaser. I don't know if this line could be high enough. Seriously--even if it were -21, you'd still take the Steelers, right? I mean, coming off of that epic beatdown that the Ravens laid on 'em last week, you don't think they're the least bit angry and aren't going to take it out on the hapless Seahawks at home? Like Mr. T said, My prediction? Pain... I'm guessing Tavaris Jackson gets taken off the field on a stretcher, and James Harrison collects at least $75,000 in new fines. This game is going to be like that scene in Inception--the Seahawks are the parked cars, the Steelers are the freight train.

Tampa Bay +3 over MINNESOTA. I had to take a road dog at some point, and this is the best possible choice. According to Vegas, these teams are dead even? I don't know about that. I'm guessing that the Bucs not only cover, but win outright. And McNabb won't even be able to keep his soup-selling job once this season ends.

Houston -3 over MIAMI. When I hear all these professional media people talking up the Texans, some of them even picking them to go to the Super Bowl, I get this Huh? What? look on my face, kinda like when your dog first wakes up and doesn't quite know what's going on. Have they ever even been to the playoffs? No? Alrighty then. But they're certainly better than the Dolphins, at least at this point of the season. My only hesitation in picking them this week is because of the Mojo. Like the Ravens, I wonder if they didn't spend it all last weekend beating down a long-time nemesis.

Green Bay -10 over CAROLINA. Lotta chalk in this one, and I'm guessing this game has the most squares betting it this week, too. But if that makes me a square, so be it. And as much praise as was heaped on Cam Newton in his opening-day debut (still a loss, by the way), he was, however, going up against the Arizona Cardinals defense--not exactly the '85 Bears. And as many points the Packers gave up to the Saints last Thursday night, well, the Pack was up against Drew Breeeeeeeees! Like Dan Quayle was no Jack Kennedy, Cam Newton is no Drew Brees. And Aaron Rodgers has had ten days to get ready for this one. Newton comes crashing back to earth like Skylab this weekend.

Normally, I'm going to stick to just five picks per week, but I've got a bonus one where you can make your money back:

NEW ENGLAND -7 over San Diego. San Diego has the longest road trip in the league besides a Miami/Seattle game. The Chargers are historically bad in September every season. And coaching? Norv Turner versus Bill Belichick--easily the most one-sided match-up this side of Floyd Mayweather versus an asthmatic junior-high kid in a wheelchair. And even though I'm not a huge fan of Tom Brady and never root for the guy, Phillip Rivers is kind of a dick.

I haven't even really looked at the college games yet, except of course for the Oklahoma-Florida State game tomorrow night. Unfortunately, I have a family function to go to, so I won't be able to watch it. However, on Sunday, I'm parking my ass in my favorite chair and doing the Vulcan mind-meld with the NFL Red Zone channel for seven hours straight. Since there are no commercials for pee breaks, I'm thinking of investing in an astronaut suit.

Mikey

September Reading List

2011-09-13T22:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm a procrastinator. Actually, the combination of busy and tired conspired to keep me from doing a post about the Labor Day camping trip we took last weekend.

Oh, it was a good one, and I'm sure I'll get to it eventually, but today, as much as I wanted to make it happen, I just couldn't. I have an excuse, though. I spent most of my Tuesday down at Vanderbilt getting shuffled from one office to the next, seeing different doctors and nurses and doing paperwork.

Now that I've got insurance again, and damn good insurance at that, it seems that they want to put me back in the body and fender shop and do some more work under the hood. Yep, I gotta go under the knife again at some point, but it's nothing too serious. Well, it's kinda serious to me, but this next operation has about a 99% success and survival rate. No worries this time around. Of course, when the day comes that they wheel be down to the basement on a gurney and I see the ceiling of that operating room again, I'm probably gonna lose my shiat.

But I'll worry about that when the time comes.

Anyhow, after getting up at 6:00 am and spending the better part of the day down there, I met up with Scottie and Tim for Taco Tuesday at Judge Bean's. Seriously--their brisket tacos are some of the best things I've ever eaten. Unbelievably good. It was a great lunch and it's always fun to hang with my brothas. After that, I sat in traffic for another hour getting home because a manure truck decided to burn down to the axles on I-65 northbound. Once I finally made it back to the house, I dozed for most of the rest of the afternoon and evening.

Since I'm still trying to get my creativity back, I didn't want to offer up an inferior product. So instead of a brand-new post, I'm giving y'all a field trip into the archives for some of my favorite 'September' reading.

First of all, here's last years camping trip:

The Road Goes on Forever, and the Moving Never Ends

And once you get your fill of that, you can re-read a little bit of cruising buffoonery with a dash of September 11th thrown in:

The Oldest Established Permanent Floating Crap Game...

And in case you haven't wasted your entire work day by now, here's a good road trip story:

What a Long Strange Trip It Was

Enjoy!

Eventually, I'll write a little somethin' somethin' about our latest camping expedition.

Mikey

Bullet Point Monday

2011-09-11T23:40:00.000-05:00

What a weekend!

Now that it's finally over, I was hoping to have some sort of epic post up for everyone to digest over that first cup of coffee when they stumble into the office and delay doing any of that actual 'work' stuff. But alas, my brain is a little fried, my thoughts disorganized, and if I tried to write anything cohesive, it wouldn't flow.

Sometimes you can just tell.

Instead, I'll take the easy way out and just toss up a bunch of random thoughts, and call it good. No rhyme, no reason, all nonsense.

I skipped the opening Sunday NFL get-together with the family yesterday. I'd been looking forward to it for a week or so, but I just didn't feel up to it. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I kinda wanted to keep a low profile for the day, in addition to feeling 'blah'.
The reason for the low profile was that in addition to being September 11th, it was also the one year anniversary of my very worst day. Y'all all know that story, and I didn't want to dwell to much on it besides just saying it was on my mind a little bit. Hell, it's on my mind almost every day, but y'all know what I mean. I was content to just be 'normal' for the day and enjoy and endless feast of NFL action on the tube.
Enough about that. It was a weekend for football action once again! Or as I like to say, Christmas be damned, *this* is the most wonderful time of the year! (You know I don't mean it--I'm a sucker for the holidays)
So I whiffed on my first two picks. But going three-for-five every week would be a good living for a professional wise-guy. As much as I want to believe all the hype about the Rams being the next team to make The Leap, it appears they've still got a little marinading to do. And oh dear god did the Steelers look awful.
The Saints/Packers game was the most entertaining game I've seen in a very long time--maybe since that Super Bowl with the Steelers and Cardinals. Good lord the Pack looks (look?) awesome.
A few thoughts about the weekend in college. Would've peed myself laughing if Toledo would've held on and beat Ohio State. And oh by the way, ASU is now 2-0, while Notre Dame is 0-2. Maybe someday Lou Holtz will stop telling us all that they belong in the National Championship discussion. But probably not anytime soon.
Mad mad mad props to the NFL for giving us the NFL Red Zone channel. Better than DirectTV's Sunday Ticket. I've had them both, and Red Zone is basically the same thing without having to use the remote. Over seven hours straight of coverage for every single game, but with no commercials. Yeah, it jumps around a lot, but only to the games where a team is about to score. If nobody is in the 'Red Zone', then they show the games where the teams are within one score of each other. And as soon as they go to commercial, it jumps to the next game, just like you would do with a remote, except that it 'knows' where to go, no jumping around looking for live action. Unbelievably cool--it's a degenerate gamblers best friend. Or a fantasy geek's best friend. (Or if you happen to be a little bit of both, it's complete football pr0n!)
The only problem with that much coverage and no commercials, is that your bathroom and snack breaks are fairly limited, so you have to be committed and have a plan when you get up off the couch. Otherwise you might miss something.
Seriously, it's the Greatest Channel Evar as far as I'm concerned--no Man Cave is complete without it.
Hey, has anyone else noticed that ever since all the online poker sights have been shut down, the douche-baggery factor at the WSOP has been dialed waaaaay down? Is it just me, or do the people who actually have to pay their own way have better manners?
'Up All Night' is doomed to fail. Ratings bomb for NBC.
I kind of enjoyed the final episode of Entourage. The ending was surprisingly good, if somewhat predictable. Much better than the gang gathering for dinner in some random Italian restaurant while Turtle spends ten minutes trying to parallel park the Lincoln and some lurker in a Members Only jacket ducks into the men's room with Don't Stop Believin' playing in the background...
Another post coming on Tuesday afternoon--this one about our annual Labor Day camping trip. Big fun, but much different than last year's. I won't be around a computer again until then--staying out at my sister's place after work on Monday because I have another appointment early in the morning on Tuesday out in that direction.

Y'all try to hang in there until then.

Mikey

Mah Picks--Let Me Show You Them

2011-09-07T20:46:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year, kiddies! Yep, football season is upon us once again, and I am very excited to get this party started. Knowing that I won't have to deal that miserable free-roll up at Texas Station during the playoffs will make it extra-sweet this time around, too.

Of course, not having a live sports book window less than fifty yards away from my workspace is an adjustment, so of course I'll probably hit about 75% of my picks this year. Regardless, I'll still post up my picks every week--usually I'll do it on Fridays, but since Week 1 is pretty much a toss-up anyways, why not do it now?

I'll choose five games every week--against the spread of course--and y'all can feel free to heckle me in the comments section and tell me what a buffoon I am before the games are played. Afterwards, well, it's just not sporting...

Here we go: (Home team in CAPS)

Pittsburgh +2 over BALTIMORE

ST. LOUIS +5 over Philadelphia

ARIZONA -7 over Carolina

SAN FRANCISCO -5.5 over Seattle

Detroit +1.5 over TAMPA BAY

Hmmm... Looking at these picks in the stark light of day, with no other lines or commentary surrounding them, I like the fact that I chose two road dogs. Usually I'm on the side of the chumps taking a bunch of home favorites.

We'll see how this goes.

Mikey

PS. I'm still working on the layout and design here, so ignore the funky colors on the text and links.

Back in the Saddle Again

2011-09-07T15:19:00.000-05:00

Wow... Has it been nine months already?

Yeah, so I stopped writing altogether in January--call it fatigue, burn-out, whatever, but I was tired and needed a break. I guess it happens when you do something long enough. I figured my Hurricane Mikey days were behind me--life was all kinds of different by then, and I kinda wanted to be a little more private, too.

But I cant deny my nature and I started to feel a little restless earlier in the summer--so I made another go of it with the Grant Silverstone blog. After a few weeks, I realized that I didn't much care for the focus and the direction it was going, so I shelved that idea too--I knew I wanted to get back into writing and/or blogging, but I wasn't sure what to do.

However, spending a good portion of the past few weeks reading the old stuff on here, I realized that there's some good content in the archives, and it would be a shame to lock it away and let it all gather dust. Besides, nobody calls me 'Grant', and nobody cared for hiking stories, anyways.

So I'm back, baby!

I hope my long-time readers and re-clickers are still out there, ready to be entertained by my daily scribbles and rants. (You die-hards need to spread the word!).

So--what have I been up to for the past nine months? Well, I'm pretty much recovered from all my medical issues that laid me out last fall. After the new year, I started searching for a new job in earnest--which was another part of the reason I restricted this site in the first place. I didn't need some toad from a random Human Resources department doing an internet search and finding this site, only to be vastly offended by something I ranted about in years past and tossing my resume in the garbage can without giving me a chance to dazzle them in an interview.

But that's not an issue anymore--I secured employment in February at a company that doesn't give a rat's ass about anything I say or do on the internet, nor will angry little trolls be able to copy and paste content from here and forward it to say, a casino manager, telling them what a troublemaker they have on their hands. Yep, that actually happened a few years ago--somebody with nothing better to do tried to get me in trouble at my job at Sunset Station, but it didn't actually work out the way they'd hoped. Oh well. It's nice to have so much free rent in somebody's head that they would actually take the time to try and sabotage my job. It's kind of a rush knowing that I had that much influence over somebody, don't ya think?

But I digress... All is well in Mikey's world.

Anyhow--I'm back in the rat race full-time, and have been for almost eight months now, and I have to say, I'm not a big fan. I loved making a decent living while only having to work about 20 hours a week and playing poker every night when I was back in Vegas. Life was good. Although, speaking as someone who is slowly paying off about $70,000 worth of hospital bills, it would've been nice to have some insurance as a safety net. So yeah, I've slowed down a bit and got a real job again. The money's ok, the benefits are great, I don't have to wear a nametag or an ugly polyester shirt, and I don't have to deal with drunks. It's a trade-off, but I suppose it's one I needed to make.

So what have I been doing all year here in Tennessee, you ask? Well, working a lot, for one thing. I forgot how much of your life is taken up by having a full-time job. On the other hand, it's nice to be able to actually work again. For awhile there, after I got sick, I would've given my left arm for some reassurance that I'd be 'normal' again and able to function like a regular person. Now that life is pretty much back to normal, I realize that it's a little dull, but it sure beats the alternative.

But enough about that.. Re-reading my adventures from last summer, I realized that man, I sure played a helluva lot of poker. Of course, I needed to subsidize my income, and for awhile there, I got pretty damn good at it. But something changed and it hasn't interested me at all for most of the last year. Y'all know that I love me some Josie, and try to keep up with her adventures, but I found my mind wandering whenever I read about her poker adventures back east. And normally I would be all over the WSOP website and jonezing for updates during the Main Event, but this year, I pretty much disengaged. I don't know why, but once I left Las Vegas, it's like that door got slammed shut. I haven't picked up a deck of cards or played in a real poker game in over a year. I feel like Mike McD, driving Knish's truck and trying to make ends meet with a legitimate job.

One of the main reasons I was looking forward to getting back to Tennessee when I moved was the nearly limitless opportunities to take advantage of the outdoors. I lived out west for the better part of the past 20 years, and I love me some desert, but I never really wanted to go out and play in it. I like the hills, woods, streams, lakes, waterfalls, and trails of Tennessee much better. Part of my rehab was to do a lot of walking, and that evolved into a new-found appreciation of hiking, which has also led to an interest in backpacking.

However, when it comes to backpacking, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I'm still not in nearly good enough shape to do it--oh, I was getting there, but an episode earlier in the summer landed me back in the emergency room and the doc put the brakes on any walking in the heat. Before that I was doing a short trail every weekend and doing a mile-and-a-half every day on my lunch hour. But that was almost three months ago, and it's been so hot that I've gotten lazy and soft again.

A couple of weeks ago, I thought I'd man up and take a 12-mile backpacking trip--it sounded like so much fun, and the trail was rated as fairly easy. However, the combination of 97-degree heat, 90% humidity, and a 37-lb. backpack conspired against me. I had to throw in the towel after only three hours and four miles. A man's got to know his limitations, and well, I ran smack-dab into the middle of mine. The bummer of it was that I thought it would be a piece of cake, and it would be for most people, but I'm not there yet. I was quite disappointed to say the least.

But that doesn't mean I still can't go out and play. I'm just coming off of a long holiday weekend camping trip that was an adventure in extremes--I'll post about it later this week. But lemme tell you, as fun as it was, we were good and ready to get home once it was over.

So the bottom line is, I'm back! Not sure if I'm better than ever, but as big of a pain in the ass as it can be to maintain a blog on a regular basis, I kind of missed it. So I'm sitting down at the keyboard once again, ready to unload whatever nonsense flows out of my brain, and share it with all of you.

I hope that it's been worth the wait.

Mikey

Wake Up!

2011-09-06T23:53:00.000-05:00

Iffin' I still have readers, there may be new content here very soon.

Mikey

Hope Everyone Had a Great Holiday Season

2011-01-03T17:03:00.000-06:00

And here we are in 2011. Me--I'm just happy I got out of 2010 alive. So yeah, I'm guessing 2011 is gonna be much better than 2010 was. So far, it's off to a good start.

First of all, I gotta throw mad props to my gal Linda Lou. Not only is she a great writer and comedian, but she also has a few projects on the side. One of them is writing resumes, and let me tell you, she does an amazing job. I'm about to re-enter the job market, and probably end up in a totally new career, and she's been working on polishing up my resume for me. Well, I just got it back this afternoon, and all I can say is ho-lee-shiat it looks great! It's so good that people would feel foolish to not hire me after seeing it. Seriously--the other candidates for the jobs I'm applying for don't have a shot now. It's almost unfair. Yes, I was very impressed with her efforts on my behalf.

So if you're job hunting, considering a new career, or just think it may be time to move on to something else, contact Linda Lou--she will hook you up and make you look so good that companies will be terrified of not getting you onboard right this very minute.

Anyhow--what else is new? Well, I've been busy as hell, if you can believe it, and that's why I've not been making updates nearly as much as I used to. Since I've been here in Nashville, I've had myself a somewhat 'normal' social life, and it's been great. Not only that, but I got to savor every bit of the holiday season this year--from doing stuff like watching Trading Places on Thanksgiving night to kick of the Christmas season right, to helping decorate the trees at my sisters' houses, to helping Tim go all Griswold with the Christmas lights, to rolling a million peanut butter balls with Mamasan--it was all wonderful and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. Six years in the wilderness was far too much for me. I'm glad to be home, where I belong.

And now I get to do fun stuff that never would've happened had I remained in Vegas. On Sunday morning, Revered Dave, Tim, and I took a trek up to the REI store up in Brentwood so Dave could get some new backpacking gear. Just going up and hanging out with my brothers was cool enough, but when we got done shopping, Scottie drove out and met us for lunch at Judge Bean's for some kick-ass BBQ. Those of you who aren't close with your family don't know what you're missing, because we had a great time just spending the afternoon together. It helps that everyone is funny, because we laugh our asses off, but it was a pretty good day, just goofing off with my brothers.

There's been a lot of that now that I'm here, and that's another reason I haven't been making updates very regularly. One, my life is boring, and two, I've got a lot more stuff going on that makes sitting at the computer seem like a waste of time. So while I must apologize to my long-term readers, on the other hand, I hope you understand. When I lived in Vegas, I had all kinds of free time on my hands, and not nearly as many distractions. But now that I'm here, back in the middle of the three-ring circus known as my family, well, life is completely different. Much more satisfying to me, but probably not nearly as interesting for you folks.

So the bottom line--change is coming. Be prepared.

Anyhow, enough about that...

I know that with the new year comes all the resolutions and such, and I'm no different. Of course it's a good time to re-assess things and maybe toss out things that aren't working and maybe work on other things, and I've been thinking along those lines.

Of course, due to my little incident back in September, getting healthier was already a priority, so that's not exactly new. However, I'm still tracking my progress, and I haven't lost any weight in almost a month. But that's to be expected with the holidays. And it's been so damn cold outside that there was no way I'd go out walking. I freeze my ass off in a 70-degree room, so hiking around for a couple of hours in the thirty degree weather has about as much appeal to me as sitting in a pool full of ice water.

But that's ok--I'm back in the saddle again. I recently discovered the Williamson County Recreation Center down here in Spring Hill, and oh hell yeah, I'm taking advantage of it. It's only a buck a visit, and it's better equipped than any nice private gym I've ever been a member of. It's a huge facility, and just today I spent an hour on the machines, then to cool down I did a half mile on their indoor track. Not only does it have everything you could ever need in a workout facility, it's less than five minutes from the house. My only problem isn't getting motivated to go, it's getting motivated to go early in the morning. It's hard to crawl out of a nice warm bed on a cold winter morning and go exercise, but I'm doing it.

One thing I'm working on is trying to get my arm strength back. Oh dear god I'm surprised my right arm even works at all any more, after being stabbed about a hundred times in the past four months. And yeah, I've been out trying to throw the football with my brothers this past week, and they got a huge laugh at my expense. I swear, I'm like a little girl out there. But I was doing 55-lb. curls today, so at some point I should be able to stop embarrassing myself out in the back yard.

Anyhow, that's about all the news from here for today. I'll check in again tomorrow--

Peace out, y'all

Mikey

Well, There Was One Thing I Really Missed About Vegas This Christmas

2010-12-27T01:43:00.000-06:00

Yeah, people keep asking me if I miss living in Vegas, and I keep telling them 'absolutely not'. But then I got to thinking about it, and even though I'm very happy to be here in Tennessee, there was one thing I'd almost forgotten about that made life in Vegas much better. That was seeing the cocktail waitresses at Sunset Station wandering around for an entire month wearing those naughty Santa dresses.

Damn those were nice. Everybody loved 'em. Even the waitresses. They knew they looked hot in them, and of course they made phat tips because of it.

One night a few years back, Kimmy and I were sitting around having a drink, running a few bucks through the Megabucks machine after our shift, and I asked her what she would do if I hit the jackpot.

Without hesitating, she said "I'd be your slave".

So my response was, Well, if you're gonna be my slave, you've gotta wear the naughty Santa outfit for me every night...

No hesitation there--she totally agreed to do it. Unfortunately, I never hit the Megabucks jackpot, so she's wearin' it for somebody else, I guess... Oh well. It certainly made the work hours more enjoyable, that's for sure, because Kimmy wasn't the only smokin' hot gal wandering around the casino wearing that outfit. They were everywhere!

Anyhow, it's about 11:30 on Sunday night, and I just got back from five days on the road, visiting the various family members for the holidays, and I've got to tell you all, this was the best Christmas ever, for many reasons. But most of all, for the simple fact that I was able to be here with my family, and we had a wonderful time together. I don't think it could've been more perfect.

I stayed up at Mamasan's on Christmas Eve, and that night she threw a big party for everyone--all the siblings showed up (well, Nancy was in Houston, but she was there in spirit), and we did our gift exchange then since almost everyone now has kids, grandkids, in-laws, or other family obligations on Christmas Day.

Mamasan and I had a small tree, like we used to do back when she lived in San Diego and I would come out and visit when I lived in Phoenix, with our gifts for each other under it. But when everyone else showed up, the living room was piled so high with presents, that it was damn near impossible to walk through, much less sit on the furniture. So we had to move the party down to her den, which we thoroughly trashed. But man, it sure was fun.

Recession? What recession? And you're not seeing the stuff in front of the china hutch or stacked in the hallway either. You'd think we had a house full of kids or something, but no, it was all adults and our toys...

But it wasn't just all about the gifts, although that was very nice. It was all about being together for the first time in what seemed like forever. And since the time I moved away from here six years ago, I've also gained three new brothers, which is great when you're an adult--all the good times like a bunch of bunch of college buddies, but without any of the baggage that comes with growing up together!

Mamasan and I had spent most of the day preparing a big feast to graze on, it everyone loved it. Instead of ham and such, like everyone else was doing on Christmas Day, we did pulled pork BBQ. Oh hell yeah--it was a hit. And we had all kinds of other stuff I shouldn't be eating, but what the hell, it's Christmas. Mamasan made her famous ham & cheese log rolls, plus we had--dare I say it--cole slaw, meatballs, sweet potato fries, and the regular roster of holiday goodies, too. Peanut butter balls included. And since most of my booze is sitting in a storage tote next to her washing machine, we had a very popular open bar, too.

Once everyone had their fill of food a had gotten a few drinks in them, we kicked off our newest family tradition--the Christmas Eve talent show. Oh dear god, talk about potential for a hot holiday mess... But it went off smoothly and was a total hit. There was comedy, like Steffi re-working the Night Before Christmas poem so that it fit our family (off the charts funny!), or Scottie, Amy, and I singing Robert Earl Keene's Merry Christmas from the Family, which I believe caused a couple of people in attendance to lose control of their bladders...

Tim displayed his previously unknown juggling skills, while wearing a new t-shirt, which prompted the following exchange.

Reverend Dave: Hey Tim, you know how we can tell that you're married?

Tim: No--how?

Reverend Dave: You wear sh*t like that...

Don't you just love family get-togethers during the holidays? Heh. But it wasn't all silliness and comedy. Cyndi sang for us, and she actually has some musical talent, and Mamasan read a really nice Christmas poem (which I'll post next year), that came to her 20 years ago as she was driving down the freeway, so she pulled over and scribbled it down on the back of an envelope. Sherry and David displayed their craftier side for us also... It was truly memorable, and if I can track down a copy of the video of us singing, I'll post it.

But after the talent show, we spent a good two hours or so opening up that huge pile of presents. That was a kick in the pants, watching all the siblings opening their stuff. I don't wanna brag or nuthin', but it seems that we were all pretty good kids this year, judging from the haul. And after listening to me for almost three straight months complain about being cold all the time, and making fun of me for bundling up in fleece from head to toe just to sit in the living room, I got hooked up with damn near an entire new wardrobe of winter clothes and stuff. And a bottle of Mt. Gay rum, too. I'm gonna make it through this winter, one way or another.

Since Amy, Scottie, David, and I are big fans of camping and hiking, we hit the jackpot on outdoor equipment, too. One rather large elf and his semi-crazy assistant managed to hide a huge Cabela's camp kitchen unit in the hallway for a few weeks, disguised as a huge Christmas present doing double duty as an accent table. And that same rather large elf got a Mack-Daddy camp cot in return, so now I won't be the only guy sleeping on the ground next time we head out to lake.

But everybody got loads of good stuff, and some really nice gifts. About halfway through, Scottie was taking the camp kitchen box out to the truck and he came back inside and announced that it was snowing outside--Holy shiat--a white Christmas! In Tennessee!

We put the party on hold for a minute or two while we went to check it out. Luckily I had my camera handy:

Like I said, perfect. We enjoyed it for a minute or two, but it was damn cold outside, so we went back in to finish unwrapping all of the presents. Of course, as soon as I stepped out onto the porch to take a picture, I got punked right in the chest with a snowball. Gotta love my nieces...

When we finally finished up, it was getting pretty late--after 10:00 pm--and everyone had to drive pretty far to get home (Mamasan lives way up north, near the Kentucky border), so we wrapped it up. We tried to clean up the den, but it was a losing battle. Our hostess insisted that we didn't need to do it, so we just turned off the wall heater, turned out the lights, and closed off the den, opting to deal with it later. Though not before I snapped a quick picture, of course...

The Aftermath--and this was after a good ten minutes of clean-up, too. And if we learned one thing from this holiday season with my family--buy stock in Amazon...

After most of the trash was picked up, the dirty dishes put in the dishwasher, and all of the food put away, we just put on some soft Christmas music and sat in the living room drinking spiked eggnog and talking about some of our Christmas memories. It was a good time.

I finally shuffled off to bed and crashed for almost seven hours. I got up first, put on a pot of coffee, and then took a picture of the huge juniper tree in mom's front yard. It looked awesome on Christmas morning.

I turned on the music again, and then went to wake Mamasan up. She got breakfast going and the we opened up our stockings. One of our traditions is to wrap everything in them, even though most of it is cheap little doo-dads or toiletries, but it still makes it fun to have a bunch of little presents to unwrap.

After the stockings, we had breakfast--but not the ebelskivers like our usual tradition. Since it was just the two of us there that morning, we decided not to do 'em--they're kind of a pain in the butt to make, so we just had a regular breakfast--biscuits and coffee. And mimosas.

Then we opened up the presents that were still under the tree--She got a kick out of her new front license plate that says 'MAMASAN', and she loved the four decks of Kem cards I got her (she plays cards with a group of friends on a regular basis, and ever since she's discovered my nice poker cards, she hates playing with regular paper Bicycle cards). There were a few other useful gifts, and I got hooked up with a nice new parka, too.

After the big event was over, I hung out for a bit, but then I had to pack up all my treasures and hit the road. Sherry and Steve wanted me to come over and spend the afternoon with them, so I drove back into Nashville proper. They'd gotten a new puppy for Steve's son, he's been begging for one for two years, and so there was a 10-week-old yellow lab under the tree on Christmas morning. Talk about a kid losing his mind!

I hung around over there for a few hours, playing with the kids and the puppy, then Sherry and I busted into a bottle of wine and we watched a movie with the kids. It was a steaming pile of crap, but we laughed our way all the way through it, MST3K-style... She put out a spread of honey-baked ham and such, but I just grazed a little, because after that, I had to drive out to west Nashville to have dinner with the hippies.

It took over an hour to get there--the roads were a mess and there were accidents everywhere (Yeah, it was still snowing and icing up, too), but eventually I made it. I had a really nice dinner with Amy, Scottie, and Steffi, and then we adjourned to the living room to open even more presents. (Oh, and eat candy, too). We tried to stay up, and we made it for awhile, laughing and talking and carrying on like we do, but the bottom fell out of the party around 10 o'clock or so, and we all hit the sack.

It snowed all night, and since the roads were so bad, we treated Sunday like a snow day from school and had indoor recess all day long. Amy made ebelskivers (Yay!) while Scottie cooked up a bunch of bacon, and we had a great day-after-Christmas breakfast. My niece Diana and her boyfriend Jeff stopped by for a bit, and Cyndi and Tim drove up, too. We ended up spending the whole day hanging out playing poker around the dining room table (I lost my ass to Amy on one huge hand--pocket threes flopped a set with Ace-Queen-Three, turned a boat when a Queen came on the turn, got most of Amy's chips in the pot with her Aces-up, and then I lost it all when the case queen came on the river, sabotaging my full-house. Ugh).

Besides that beat-down, it was a great day. Cyndi and Tim brought up their dogs to play with the pugs, so we had a house-full of hounds, hillbilly style. And we ordered pizza and nibbled on leftover Christmas treats for most of the afternoon, too. Of course I felt like crap, eating all that junk for the past two days, but a couple of bottles of water later, I was good to go.

Eventually, I called it a weekend and packed up all my loot and drove back down here to Spring Hill. Waiting for me in the living room when I got home was one last visit from Amazon-Claus. Curt, Josie, and the rest of the Massachusetts poker mafia had sent along a nice big Lodge cast-iron Dutch oven and all the accessories--lid lifter, handle glove, tongs, etc. And then Sonya from the Travel2Vegas board sent along a couple of great hiking books, too.

Thank you all very much--that was so cool! I felt so appreciative at the time, thinking of all the nice things people have done for me this past year, and especially during the holidays, and it was almost overwhelming to me. I had to take a moment to compose myself. But I can't help but feel a little misty, considering all that's happened, and just how lucky I felt to be able to spend Christmas with those that mean the most to me. It has been a very long six years since I got to experience the Joy of Christmas (well, 2006 was pretty good), but still, I feel truly blessed to have such good friends and also be able to spend time with my family once again at the holidays. Not everyone has what I have, and for that I feel truly sorry. I may not be rich, or be in perfect health, or have an interesting and fulfilling career at the moment, but I am loaded when it comes to what matters most. Everyone should be so lucky...

Happy Holidays, everyone! Enjoy the last bit of 2010, and remember, 2011 is going to be awesome.

Mikey

Merry Christmas, Everybody!

2010-12-24T08:52:00.000-06:00

Have a wonderful weekend. And God bless us--everyone!

Mikey

I'm Doing Graduate-Level Work in Procrastination

2010-12-21T12:35:00.000-06:00

Even though I've been extremely busy so far this morning, all I can say is "It's about time". You wanna guess what I did just now? I finally unpacked my overstuffed garment bag that I took on the cruise in October. Yep, that thing has been riding around behind my seat in the truck forever, and then I finally brought it in the house about two weeks ago. Since then, it's just been sitting on the floor next to my dresser. Until today. Luckily all of the clothes were clean--it wasn't full of dirty underwear or anything like that--but now I have all of my shirts and such back where they should be (on the floor of the closet). Just kidding--I'm tackling the laundry monster as I write this.

I know, I should've taken care of it when we first got home, but the weekend after we returned, I moved out of Amy and Scottie's place and into my current digs down here in Spring Hill. And it was just easier not unpack it at the time. And then once I loaded up all of my gear in the truck, the garment bag just never got unloaded. Besides, it's not like anyone ever rides in the jumpseat behind the driver's seat in my truck, anyways, so it was content to remain packed for the past two months.

Thankfully it wasn't an eight-day trip to Vegas. I remember how bad my luggage smelled after a six day bender back in 2004. I opened up that suitcase once I got home from the airport, and it smelled like a combination of Keith Richards (back when he was alive) and the carpet at the Golden Gate. I think I had to run everything through the washer twice, and the suitcase went in the dumpster.

But now that chore is done, and while unpacking it, I realized that I never wore four of the shirts I took with me (my Cardinals jersey being one of them). Guess I won't need to pack as many clothes next time around. Don't know when that'll be, though--we haven't even started looking at next fall's vacation yet.

As far as the holiday prep is concerned, I am tantalizingly close to being done. I only have to wrap one more gift that arrived this weekend while I was gone, then hit the liquor store, and maybe get a few small stocking stuffers. That's it. I'm heading up to Mamasan's place on Thursday to help her prepare for the big Christmas Eve shindig that she's hosting, so maybe a trip to the grocery and some cooking will be on tap, but then I get to relax and enjoy Christmas with the whole gang, something I've been looking forward to for far too long.

Speaking of the Christmas Eve party, my niece Stephie decided that we should all share some sort of talent that night, since we'll all be together. I don't know how well the idea was received by the rest of the family, but I'm doing my part. And I haven't picked up the guitar in so long that the potential for unintentional comedy is off the charts. So yeah, I'm spending a good part of the next three days practicing my fingers off. I'm hoping somebody has a video camera with them, and if they do, well, you'll have something interesting to see on YouTube next week.

Oh--a couple of housekeeping things:

Email. It's a complete pain in the ass for me. Here at the house, I use the Verizon wireless 3G system. It sucks like crap on a stick. And, since that's the only option, I don't have an outbound mail server. So, I'm stuck using my webmail to retrieve anything. Same address, I just have to go to a secure website to get it--I can't use Outlook.

Well, Outlook is where all of my addresses are. And, whenever I need an email address, I have to open Outlook to go get it. That causes all of my mail that was on the webserver to be downloaded here (I have my regular hurricanemikey.com mail server that follows me everywhere). So once that email gets pushed into Outlook, I can't respond to it. (Well, I could copy and paste and take it back to the webmail site, but who wants to do that?). Anyhow, long story short, that's why a lot of time I haven't responded to emails. They're on the webmail system, but then they get buried in the avalanche whenever I open Outlook, which is by far a more useful tool. So until we get real cable service out here in the boondocks, email will be an ongoing struggle.

Also, I was traveling most of the weekend, and forgot to take my phone charger with me. Actually, I thought I might be gone overnight and coming right back home first thing in the morning, but that didn't happen. So my phone was dead for two days and I just got it back working and fully charged yesterday afternoon once I got home. So I wasn't really dodging anyone, I was just unable to call anyone back (lookin' at you, E!).

I'm hitting the road again Thursday (maybe Wednesday night, not sure yet), so my time around here is pretty limited. Besides all the housework I've already done this morning, I still have to go out and run errands. I still don't have a checking account here in Tennessee, and doing all my business through the mail has been another pain in the ass that I'm ready to pull the plug on. So at some point either today or tomorrow, I have to go down to one of the local banks and open a new account, then change all of my auto-pay stuff. Not looking forward to that.

That's about all for now, but I'm hoping to have another holiday-type post up before Christmas Eve. No promises, though. Just wishful thinking at this point.

Later--

Mikey

Still Elfin' It Up

2010-12-17T11:26:00.000-06:00

Just a week left before Christmas, and we're still carrying on with holiday prep. Cyndi got home in the middle of the night from her last week of traveling, so once we finish off this pot of coffee, we're off to the races again.

We've got a few errands to run, but most importantly, we have to hit the grocery store for a bunch of baking stuff--tomorrow the kids are coming over to make Christmas treats all day, so we have to load up on all of the ingredients and get everything ready, because I'm sure the weekend will be complete chaos.

While Cyndi and the kids are annihilating the kitchen, Tim, Mike, Jeff, and I have to find something to do, but I think the plan is that we're just gonna hang out and watch The Christmas Story, unless of course we can find a bowl game or something.

I still have another batch of peanut butter ball dough in the fridge, and I still need to roll them out and get them dipped, and once they're done, I'm taking little gift tins full of them to a couple of the neighbors who've kinda checked up on me and offered to help out back when I was really sick. After that, I think I have maybe one or two things left to wrap, one more gift to buy, and then pick up a couple of little stocking-stuffers, and then all of my Christmas running around is finished. Oh, I may spring for a bag of candy or a couple of quarts of eggnog for our Christmas Eve party, but basically, my work here is done!

Tomorrow night, a bunch of us are getting together for dinner to celebrate Mamasan' 70th birthday, so I'll probably end up spending the night over at the Hippie House once the party winds down (I think there may be some margaritas on the agenda, and although I can only drink one, it still farks me up like a high school girl trying her first wine cooler). It should be a good time though, and I'm looking forward to getting together with everyone.

Anyhow, that's all for now. I have to get dressed and go shopping. Word around the campfire is that they're selling discounted 'ethnic' nativity scenes at the Cracker Barrel up in Cool Springs (the whitest place in Tennessee), and I'd like to get my hands on a few of them for next year's gifts... Heh.

Later y'all,

Mikey

Walkin' In A Peanut Wonder Land

2010-12-16T15:15:00.002-06:00

As promised, your peanut butter balls post--just in time for Christmas! I just got home from delivering about five pounds of these little goodies to the nurses and staff up at the cardiac ICU at Vanderbilt. Oh yeah, they loved 'em. And I also took some to the gals I see every week in the diagnostic lab who get their kicks from stabbing me on a regular basis.

So here's how it's done--it's actually very simple, really. The insides are just three ingredients; powdered sugar, butter, and peanut butter--that's all! I made double batches, so I used two pounds of powdered sugar, three sticks of butter, and four *heaping* tablespoons of creamy peanut butter.

First, melt the butter over low heat. While that's going, pour all the powdered sugar in a big damn mixing bowl. Once the butter is melted, dump it in and stir it up (a wooden spoon works best, I've found). After the butter is good and mixed in, hit it with the peanut butter. And it works best if the butter is still pretty warm when you do it--it makes it easier to stir, because once it thickens up, it's a cast iron bitch to mix. Unless, of course, you're using a Kitchen Aid mixer, or you have more upper body strength than your average little girl. I'm not complaining though--it was a good workout for me.

Three sticks of butter--I used one stick of salted and two sticks of unsalted. It's up to you. BTW, notice the cool Rachel Ray cookware...

Two lbs. of confectioners sugar in a big Pyrex bowl. That's where the magic happens.

This is what it should look like once all the mixing is done. It'll be kind of crumbly at first, but as you mix it, it should get to be about the consistency of Play-Doh.

One caveat, though. Mamasan has used Imperial margarine instead of butter in this recipe for decades, and we've always thought hers were damn good. But I'm not supposed to eat stick margarine at all (while I'm *sure* powdered sugar is good for me...), and I just prefer the taste of real butter. Also, once you start rolling the balls out, the ones made with butter are MUCH easier to work with, while the margarine version seem to need a lot of babysitting. On the other hand, if you use margarine, the mixing process is very easy.

After you get it all stirred up and all of the sugar and butter is incorporated, you should let it cool for a bit. Put a lid on it and put it in the fridge for about a half hour or so. (If you use margarine, it's easier to work with if you put it in the freezer, instead). Relax, have a drink or something.

When you're done sipping your drink, get a couple of large cookie sheets out, and find a good podcast to listen to. I find that either Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal doing the NFL lines on ESPN.com, or any random Adam Corolla podcast are good choices for background noise while I sit for an hour rolling the dough into individual balls.

Don't worry about greasing, flouring, or spraying the cookie sheets. It's not necessary. But once the dough is cooled down a bit, break off little pieces and start rolling them into balls. Smaller is better--I've found that the ideal size is about as big around as a quarter. Just set them on a cookie sheet in rows (I've found that I can get 77 of 'em on a large cookie sheet). If you make this double batch recipe, it'll yield around 120-130 pieces, depending on 1) how big your heaping tablespoons are, and 2) who is helping you. When I make them with Mamasan, she can't resist munching on the dough. I have more self control, so I always get a higher yield...

Also, if you go the margarine route, this step is a complete pain in the arse. I think the dough is too loose unless it's super cold, and then it sticks to your hands. If you use butter, it's very easy to work with, and you don't have to wash your hands a half dozen times before you get them all rolled. (In case you haven't figured it out, I've tried both methods in the past couple of weeks, and I much prefer to use real butter instead of margarine).

Once the cookie sheets are filled, cover them with plastic wrap and put them in the fridge. Or the freezer works fine, too--it doesn't much matter, as long as they get cool again since your hands warmed up the dough.

While they're cooling, prepare a double-boiler. I just use a saucepan and a smaller Pyrex bowl. I get just enough water in it so that it barely touches the bottom of the glass bowl, and that seems to work for me. While that's heating up, you'll need some household canning paraffin. I use plain old Gulf Wax, the same stuff we've had in our pantry since before I was born.

Cut off a chunk about an inch wide, and melt that in another saucepan--not too hot or it'll smoke. You want to melt it, not burn it, and you definitely don't want to put a permanent wax coating on your cooking pans.

Now that the double boiler is good and hot, turn it down to low heat, and add the chocolate. We normally use semi-sweet chips, but you can use milk chocolate if you want. I prefer the darker chocolate, though. Once it starts to melt, pour the wax over the top of it. Don't worry, the wax is completely edible and harmless (come on, haven't any of you city folk ever eaten fresh honeycomb straight from the hive before?). Stir it up and the chocolate will become silky smooth--you can't have any lumps.

Now here's where the 'art' part comes into play. You've got to maintain a pretty good balance--you can't get the chocolate too thin, so keep the heat low. But it's got to stay hot. If it gets too thick, you can add more wax--but not too much--otherwise you'll ruin the taste of the chocolate. So the trick is maintaining a good balance. Hot, but not so hot it destroys the dough, and it's got to be thick enough that it stays on once they get dipped--you don't want the chocolate running off onto the pan.

So once your chocolate is at a good consistency, you can start dropping the naked peanut butter balls in, a couple at a time, getting them good and coated. I use long-handled ice-cream spoons to dip mine, but any old spoon will work. I've heard that some people use toothpicks, too, and just stick 'em and dip 'em. I dunno--I go old school with the spoon. Once coated, I gently drop them back onto the cookie sheet to cool.

I've found that it takes about a bag and a half of chocolate chips to coat a double batch like this, but then again, it depends on how big you make them, how thick or thin your melted chocolate is, and how much gets dropped onto the stove and counter top when you're doing the dipping. But once they're all coated, back into the freezer they go. I keep them there until they're ready to go into the gift tins. The colder they are, the better they travel. And the wax in the chocolate makes them very nice and shiny, too. That picture up at the top is a pan of the finished product--I took that photo late last night (and you can clicky on it to enjoy the full-sized mouth-watering goodness).

So this morning after I got up, I packed up a couple of very big gift tins, and then two smaller gift tins, and headed up to Vanderbilt for my weekly stabbin'. My first stop was back over to the Intensive Care Unit to give the big tins to the staff there, since they took such good care of me back in September.

I hadn't been there since then, in fact, they wheeled me out of there in my bed, so walking back in was an enlightening experience. The first thing I did was take one lap around the unit, remembering how hard it was to make that lap back when I could barely walk or even sit up on my own. I got about halfway around when I saw a patient in her bed, all wired and tubed up, obviously having a very bad week. It gave me an instant panic/anxiety attack, and I had to duck into a corridor for a moment to compose myself.

But I was ok after that, and made my way to the charge desk. I told the nurse who I was and why I was there, and dropped off my tins full of goodies--one for the day shift, one for the night shift. She accepted them and told me to go ahead and walk around and let folks know, so I did another couple of laps around the unit. It was much easier the second time, and then I said goodbye and headed over to the diagnostic clinic. I checked in, then went back and gave the gals their treats. And you know what they did as soon as they got them? Yep--they stuck another needle in my arm.

I would've been cool with just a simple 'thank you, Mikey'. Heh.

Anyhow, we finished up, I wished them a Merry Christmas (none of this 'Happy Holidays shiat--I don't care who I offend) and headed back down to pick up my truck. The plan was to meet Scottie and Tim for lunch and the locally-famous Brown's Diner.

Tim and I had lunch there last week, and we loved it. And we both decided that Scottie should've been there with us. Well, this week, Tim couldn't make it, but Scottie could, so I met him there after I got done at Vanderbilt--it's just down the road from the hospital.

But first, as I was driving through Hillsboro Village, there was a Ghetto Sled sighting! I swear, the old girl lives! Either that, or it was a twin. Anyhow, I got so excited that I just *had* to snap a photo...

Anyhow, about Brown's Diner. It's a new favorite, and the word 'dive' doesn't even begin to describe it. It makes the Double Down back in Vegas look like the Petrossian Bar at Bellagio. It is definitely a hole-in-the-wall joint, but they make a damn good burger.

The best part is that nothing on the menu is over $6.99. Actually, only one thing on the menu is that price--the catfish dinner. Most everything else is $4.75. And their hush puppies are only $1.75. They only have Budweiser on tap, but they *do* have Amber Bock and regular Michelob Light (which I love). Their food tastes all home-made, which it is, and I swear they use the exact same chili recipe that Cyndi uses.

I stuck with their regular cheeseburger--a flat-iron grilled burger just like mom used to make, with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, and mustard, while Scottie had the Frito chili pie. Oh, and I can't forget the hushpuppies. Tim and I joke that I'm gonna go in there with a ten-dollar bill and lay it on the table, and tell the waitress to keep the hushpuppies coming until I run out of money. They're pretty damn good.

I had some extra peanut butter balls that I brought to Scottie, and of course we shared a couple with the waitress, too. Well, she saw them and we could see her eyes get big, so we shared. Of course she loved them! And since Brown's diner is well within my budget these days, I even picked up the lunch tab when we were done.

After that, Scottie headed back to work, and I made my way back down here in the rain to Spring Hill. I've got a few little household chores to do this afternoon before Cyndi gets back in town, and then the weekend of chaos starts up again (when I get a chance, I'll tell y'all about last weekend when I did a complete 360 on Briley Parkway).

So I'm gonna wrap it up for now, but if anyone makes themselves some peanut butter balls, I'd like to know how they turned out and how they were received.

Talk to ya soon!

Mikey

New Posts Coming--I Promise!

2010-12-15T09:55:00.000-06:00

Sorry gang--I've just been uber-busy this past week with doing all kinds of festive holiday preparations. And today is more of the same--I'm waiting for my niece Allison to come over, she should be here in just a minute or two, and we're going to wrap presents and such, then go out to lunch.

And I haven't forgotten about the peanut butter balls, either. I'm in the middle of three double batches, most of which have to be delivered tomorrow. And I've been taking pics, too, so if y'all will just hold tight, I'll be back on here with full updates again either late tonight or tomorrow evening.

Until then, enjoy your Hump Day!

Mikey

24° F Outside Right Now

2010-12-07T22:49:00.002-06:00

... And I'm pretty sure the 'F' stands for F*ck it's cold out here! Nope, my thin blood can't handle it very well. And I was out and about in it for a good portion of the day, too.

But I'm home now, thankfully. I've been on the road since Saturday, and before that, I think I was only home for a day and a half before heading out again. So in case you're wondering why I haven't updated in so long, well, there's your answer--I haven't had much time at the keyboard. Another reason, now that I think about it, is that I'm rarely alone anymore. Living out in Vegas, obviously I lived alone, but unless I was working or out goofing off (or playing cards), then I was pretty much by myself. Here, however, it seems like somebody is always around, so I'm rarely bored. Consequently, I don't post as much as I used to. (Boredom? Really? That's what kept this site going for so long???)

I don't know if it was boredom that motivated me, but all I'm saying is that now since it seems that I've always got something going on, it's tough to find time to sit at the computer and write. Also, I don't have a designated space to work, either. Usually, my laptop is sitting on the dining room table, or sometimes I'll haul it upstairs and use it in bed, but that's not comfy at all. I'm thinking of setting up my utility table up in my room and creating a dedicated workspace (and a place to do puzzles and such, too!), but that would require me to move some heavy furniture around, and that ain't likely to happen anytime soon. But I've got a pot of hot coffee going, and there's really nothing on TV worth watching right now, so here I am!

Anyhow, last week I was up at Mamasan's place for a couple of days, and our plan was to make a couple of batches of peanut butter balls (and yeah, I will definitely post the recipe and pictures in about a week since so many have asked), but we got distracted and it never happened. We just hung out and prepared for the holidays in other ways--shopping lists, online shopping, and a bit of lounging around sipping on spiked eggnog and listening to Christmas music. It was a nice and relaxing visit, though.

On Thursday morning, I left her place and headed back down to Vanderbilt for my weekly stabbin', and clueless me finally realized that one of the gals who takes my blood every week has been hittin' on me! Don't know how I missed it, but I think that since I first got sick, I've just tuned out the interactions with womenfolk, because seriously, who wants to hook up with a chubby invalid who oh by the way has no job and lives at his sister's house? Oh yeah, I'm quite the catch right now! Even so, I realized last week that one of the gals in the lab seemed to be flirting with me. So this week, I decided to pay closer attention, and yeah, she was definitely sending the Open for Bidness signal. I guess my only move is take the George Costanza approach from 'The Opposite' episode. My name is Mikey--I'm unemployed and live with my sister! How you doin'?

Heh.

Anyhow, once I got out of there, I headed back down towards Cool Springs for lunch with Amy and Alli. We had a great time at Cool Springs Brewery, which, in addition to making some damn fine microbrew, offers a pizza buffet for lunch. I know what I was thinking--GAG!--but I was pleasantly surprised. It was actually pretty good. But I really enjoyed their salad bar, which is something I don't think I would've uttered just a few months ago. After lunch, we lingered for about an hour, nursing our drinks and just catching up on stuff.

Alli and I decided to spend the afternoon Christmas shopping, so when Amy headed back to her office, we cruised over to Academy Sports and browsed for about an hour. We got a few little things, and of course I drooled over all the camping and outdoor equipment. We also spent a bit of time at the gun counter--Alli wants a Glock .40, and I want a new .45, 1911-style. And I came thisclose to buying a Buckmark .22 pistol, but thought it might be a tad bit unwise. Besides, I don't have a Tennessee ID yet, so I couldn't have gotten it anyways.

Once I ran out of gas for the day, I dropped Alli back off at her car and I made the trek back down here to Spring Hill, and then promptly went to bed and had a nice nap. I woke up to the dogs barking and going apeshiat when Cyndi got home, so I got up and went downstairs. Alli came back over with the kids, and we had a fun family night at the house. We ordered some dinner in, then all of us piled onto the couch to watch Christmas Vacation together--Tim, Cyndi, me, Alli, Jackson, Brynn, and Major the cat. And the dogs were lying on the floor in front of the fire. Good times--I really missed this kind of stuff while living out in Vegas--little things like this are what make the holidays special, I think.

Alli and the kids spent the night here, and the next morning we got up early and had a nice breakfast together. Cyndi made our traditional Christmas ebelskivers, just because. No real reason, but Alli & Mike haven't picked up the tradition--they do Belgian waffles on Christmas morning, and I think Cyndi is trying to get the grandkids back into the ebelskiver camp. So we had a wonderful breakfast, and since it was a cold day and we had nothing on the agenda, we all piled back onto the couch and watched Home Alone. I remember seeing it back in 1990 and thinking it was a cute movie, but this time, man, it's pretty dumb. And the invention and proliferation of cellphones have made so many movies seem so dated. Think about it--if Kevin and his parents would've had cellphones, this movie would've never happened.

Early in the afternoon, Alli and kids headed out, and Tim, Cyndi, and I spent a good portion of the day wrapping presents and such. That is, until the football games came on. I watched those for a bit, then I headed up to the Amy & Scottie's place for the night.

Scottie had spent the day smoking a turkey, and oh hell yeah, it was nothing short of amazing. He'd injected it with butter, spices, and herbs, and then smoked it over hickory for almost eight hours. It was not the least bit dry--it was absolutely delicious. So right then I made a proclamation: Next year for Thanksgiving, the entire family is getting together for the meal, and Scottie will smoke a turkey while Tim deep fries one. No roasting one in the oven--we'll save that space for casseroles, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and pies. Seriously--those two methods have proven to be far superior to the traditional method of roasting a turkey in the oven, which I'm still a big fan of, but the smoked and deep-fried varieties were just plain incredible.

It was so good that we didn't even have a sit-down meal. We just stood around the counter carving pieces of meat off and eating until we were stuffed. Yeah, it was that good. And it drove the puglets completely bonkers--the aroma was mouth-watering, so it's easy to see why the pugs flip out every time Scottie uses the smoker. And the term 'Bar-B-Que' is now one of those buzzwords that sets them off in a tizzie like 'Walk', 'Treat', or 'Park'. Good eating and good entertainment from the dogs--can't beat that!

After that, we set about decorating their tree. Before I got there, they had it mounted and set up in the corner, and had gotten most of the lights strung up on it, too. So once we finished dinner, all we had to do was hang the glass balls and such on it. It didn't take too long, and it turned out pretty nice. And I love the fact that they always get a real tree, too.

After we finished the tree, we stayed up late watching about four or five episodes each of the funniest two shows on TV: Community and Modern Family. Both of them are very well-written and pretty clever--at least once or twice in every episode I end up laughing so hard that I have to wipe the tears from my eyes and clutch my chest pillow that they gave me in the hospital--it's so funny that it hurts.

Once we called it a night, I shuffled off to that ultra-comfy bed that I loved so much while I was doing my initial recovery. It's so comfy that I always want to just spend the night in the guest room every time I go up there (it helps that Spring Hill is almost 40 miles away and we're usually half-crocked on red wine, too). But even so, one day I went over there for lunch and just took a nap while Amy worked in her office.

We slept in the next morning and didn't do much at all for awhile. We didn't even go down to the Loveless for breakfast, which I halfway expected to be propositioned with first thing once I got up. It was one of those cold, gray, and blustery mornings where you lingered in your PJs and wool socks, sipping a cup of coffee and appreciating the throw blankets on the couch. Eventually, we got moving, and while Amy wrapped Christmas presents and finished decorating the house, I did a little home improvement project and finally got the metal TV mounting bracket off the wall in their living room. It was a hideous eyesore that seemed impossible to remove, but I finally tackled it and won the battle of wills, and we also got the halfway-up-the-wall hanging extension cord mess disconnected and tucked away, so that they could hang up a nice mirror over their piano.

By then I was ready to head back home and spend the afternoon and evening watching football, but just as I was gathering all of my stuff, my phone was ringing--it was Mamasan calling, asking if I'd come up and help her again. Since I was only about forty miles away, instead of the usual seventy, I agreed, and headed back up north.

We spent the afternoon unloading groceries and such--she'd done all of the holiday shopping while I made the drive--and then we got to work on the peanut butter balls. I believe we made and rolled two double batches that day, so nobody is gonna go without this year. And we still haven't done mine for all the folks I'm giving them to. So yeah, I'm going back up there again this next weekend to knock them out. When doing those, I'll take pictures of the process and post the recipe and such.

Once the chores were done, we spiked a little eggnog, lit up the gas 'fireplace' wall heater down in the den, and turned on the Christmas music for a bit. I had to put the Scrooge to that after awhile though--couldn't miss the Steelers/Ravens game!

Monday was more of the same--we cooked a nice breakfast, finished up the last of the peanut butter balls, and then Mamasan took off for a doctor's appointment while I puttered around the house, mostly reading. There was quite a snowstorm that morning, and for a minute or two, it looked like a full-on blizzard. When I saw it from the window, I snapped a picture of my truck out in the driveway just as it started coming down heavily:

If you click on it, you can really see the size of the snowflakes coming down. We thought we were in for a huge storm, but a half-hour later, the sun came out and all the snow disappeared. It's not like it warmed up, but still--no blizzard to speak of. The rest of the day was fairly mellow and relaxing. Mamasan tried to talk me into staying a couple more days, but I was ready to get back home. So the next morning (Tuesday), I packed up all my gear and made the long trek back down the hill. I still had to run a bunch of errands though--gas station, bank, post office, etc.--so I was good and cold. In fact, I've been home for about ten hours now, and I'm still wearing my hoodie.

But I'll sleep pretty well tonight, I'm sure. I don't have much on the agenda for Wednesday, but I may do some more Christmas shopping with Alli. I hope to be completely done by Thursday (except for maybe a few stocking stuffers). For now, however, I'm going to finish off this pot of coffee and maybe do some reading before calling it a night.

And I promise I won't go another five days without posting. Especially if it stays this damn cold!

Mikey

A Different Kind of Jackpot

2010-12-02T08:49:00.001-06:00

Good morning, re-clickers! It's a damn cold one here in the hills of upper Tennessee, but I've got a full pot of coffee going and nothing to distract me today. So here I am at the keyboard, just like old times.

I feel especially happy this morning because last night I scored myself a little jackpot. No, I didn't win the $95 million Powerball (apparently, one of my homies out in Arizona did, though)--I settled for something a bit less flashy.

First a little background. Y'all know of my fondness for coconut creamer in my coffee. I love the hazelnut, and I've even dabbled around with peppermint mocha around the holidays. But coconut is my all-time favorite. Sadly, I have had none since I've been back in Tennessee (I had some on the camping trip, but that was in Alabama). I guess it's just not a big favorite of the southern folk. So I've been making do with hazelnut (no complaints) or even cinnamon vanilla (feh... but I'm coming around). Well, last night, I was at the super WallyWorld up in the miniature city of White House TN, and they had some! Four large bottles, and I took every one of them.

At first, I felt a little guilty about cornering the local market on the stuff, but then I realized that I probably did a good thing--that is, if they sell out, then they'll get more and start carrying it on a regular basis. I swear, I've been all over Nashville looking for coconut creamer ever since I got out of the hospital, and I've never been able to find it. Until last night. Actually, Mamasan told me that her friend Mary had scored some up here at the local WalMart, so I told her that next time she's there to pick me up a couple of bottles and I'll reimburse her for it. Well, since I come up this way almost every week, I thought I'd check for myself--and I was rewarded!

Not only that, but since I braved the bitterly cold weather to find the coffee creamer, I was rewarded with yet another product that I've had a hard time finding. I've been on a personal crusade for months, ranting the entire time, looking for firm toothbrushes. I hate medium and soft-headed ones. They feel like they've already been used for a couple of months. I mean, seriously, how do you know when a soft-headed toothbrush has worn out? I blame the do-gooders who started making kids wear helmets when they rode their bicycles. Hell, when we were kids, nobody ever wore a helmet, and we did all kinds of crazy shiat on our bikes. Yet nobody ever went to the emergency room with a cracked melon. Anyhow, before I get lost too deep in the Angry Woods, let me just say that whoever decided that firm toothbrushes are Bad For Us is full of shiat. Enough with the pussified soft-headed ones. I want my mouth to feel like I'm taking a wire brush to the BBQ grill! Ok, maybe not that extreme, but still, I prefer the firm ones. And yet it seems that NOBODY sells them anymore. What's up with that? Can a brotha get a firm toothbrush?!?!?!??

I know that some dental health 'experts' have said that it's bad for your gums or hard on the enamel or some other such nonsense. Bullshiat. You don't have to grind on your teeth like you're refinishing furniture with a Dremel tool--in fact, I'd go so far as to say that you have to brush much harder with one of those wimpy soft-top ones because they're so ineffective (kinda like low-flow toilets that you always have to flush twice because they suck so bad--not really saving water there, either!).

Anyhow, two weeks ago, I scored a couple of them at the local Walgreens, but they don't have a big supply on hand. And since they are becoming harder and harder to find, I like to stock up whenever I stumble across a new source. Well, last night, after my coconut creamer victory, this same store also had one single row of firm-headed toothbrushes tucked away on the bottom shelf of the toiletries aisle.

Now, I didn't take all of them, like I did with the creamer. I left a few behind, especially since we're so close to Kentucky and dental hygiene is something they kinda need to work on. So I left a few behind for my fellow travelers. Still, I replenished my stash, and it was a very productive trip to the store, if I do say so myself.

But not all was right on my shopping trip. I was unable to find any warm wool socks, which I desperately wanted. I bought a dozen pairs of plain white socks (all of mine seemed to have disappeared in the past couple of months, and Amy's theory is that they're all buried under the leaves in her backyard, courtesy of those thievin' pugs), but no cold-weather socks were to be had. You'd think, being 28 degrees outside, that they'd have an entire section of wool socks. But you'd be wrong. That's ok, I'm sure I'll be able to find those somewhere--the People In Charge haven't come up with a reason for us not to have them yet.

I picked up a few more treasures here and there, but I was so excited about the coffee creamer and firm toothbrushes that I probably forgot half the stuff I went in there for. No biggie, it's not like I don't have plenty of time on my hands if I need to go back.

But the plan today is to drink a few more cups of coffee, and then Mamasan and I are going to set to work making another double- or triple-batch of her famous peanut butter balls--we've got a lot of recipients this year, in addition to the regular family gatherings. After that, we've got nothing else on the agenda except to listen to Christmas music and maybe drink a little eggnog while we get all festive, preparing for the holidays with the family. Not a bad way to spend the day, if you ask me.

Y'all have a good one.

Mikey

Another Rainy Day in Nashville

2010-11-30T11:09:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone--I hope you all have sufficiently recovered from your holiday weekend. And I hope it was a great Thanksgiving all-around. Mine was excellent, although most of the family was scattered to the four winds this year. Still, it was nice to be home.

One thing that really stood out was Tim's deep-fried turkey. Oh, the oven-roasted one was excellent, as expected, but oh holy hell, the deep-fried one was nothing short of amazing. And I still haven't grown tired of the leftovers yet. In fact, just last night, I had a toasted turkey-and-Havarti sandie for dinner. And it was damn good, too.

This past weekend, we also celebrated the anniversary of Cyndi's 39th birthday, which was a pretty good time--another houseful of people came over on Sunday, so the weekend was chock full of entertaining. But that's not all we did--on Friday, it was all about lying on the couch watching football all day while the womenfolk went shopping (I think they left the house at 2:30 am and didn't get back until the early afternoon, the minivan full to the top of Christmas gifts). On Saturday, Cyndi booted Tim and I out of the house (after bringing all the holiday decor down from the attic), and while she worked on the inside of the house, we went to Home Depot to pick up more lights, gutter clips, spare bulbs, and extension cords, and then came back and decorated the outside.

I did the net lights on all of the low-lying bushes and shrubs, while Tim was up on the ladder and the roof hanging the icicle lights. I ran out of gas early in the afternoon, and passed out for a couple of hours while he finished the stuff on the second floor trim. We still got almost all of it done before it got dark, and the house looks damn good at night--not the least bit Griswaldy. Cyndi also decorated the front porch, and we have a low-wattage spotlight on it, so it looks extremely festive. If it ever stops raining, I'll take a picture and post it up.

So yeah, it was a pretty full weekend.

Yesterday, I went out and did a bit of shopping, but I didn't get much done at all--it was one of 'those' days that happen every so often, and I felt cold and tired all day long, so I ended up sleeping on the couch bundled up in my wool socks, fleece jacket, my beanie hat, all wrapped up under a fleece blanket, with the cat curled up on my chest. I must've snoozed for about three hours like that, and I'm sure I was quite a sight to see.

Once Tim came home, we puttered around the house for a bit, and I fell asleep again waiting for the football game to start. Clearly, I've still got a ways to go before my recovery is complete, but the doctors can't yell at me for not getting enough rest. I woke up though--it was only about a 45-minute nap then, and stayed up and watched that god-awful Monday night game. Before going to bed, however, I stayed up an extra hour talking to my gal Cheryl back in Vegas--we hadn't chatted in what seems like forever, so we had plenty of catching up to do. I remember hanging the phone up at midnight, and then that's it. I crashed hard for another eight hours.

But this morning, once I crawled out of bed, I came downstairs and got a lot of stuff done. I've got a few cups of coffee in me, and I also did a bit of online Christmas shopping. My cyber Monday fell on Tuesday, I guess. Love me some Amazon Prime though. And saving the 9+% sales tax they charge here in Tennessee is a satisfying personal eff-yoo to The Man.

Anyhow, once I get showered and such, I'm packing a bag and heading out again. I'm going to meet Amy for lunch over at PF Chang's, then I'm gonna do a little browsing at a couple of stores over there in Cool Springs. After that, I'm driving over to west Nashville to babysit the puglets for the afternoon until Amy and Scottie get home. I'm gonna stay the night at their place, and then in the morning, we're loading my truck with their old furniture (if it stops raining). They got some new stuff, yet their old furniture is some of the most comfortable ever, and nobody wants them to get rid of it, even though they don't have the space for it and it doesn't match their new sectional. So I'm taking it up to Mamasan's house and she's going to put it down in her converted den (it used to be a garage, but the previous owners changed it over--now it's a huge spare room).

While there, we're going to make another double-batch of peanut butter balls in preparation for the family festivities. I'll spend Wednesday night up at her place, and then on Thursday I'll make my way back down to civilization, because I have to go to the clinic at Vanderbilt that day and get stabbed again. Once all that is done, I'll make my way back down here to the Hill and relax for a day before Cyndi gets home and the silliness of the weekend starts up again.

So I'm keeping myself busy. Also, just in case y'all were wondering, I've been looking around a bit for some sort of part-time job to replenish the bank account. I'm not hurting yet financially, and I have enough on hand that I don't have to worry about it too much until the end of February or so (not counting, of course, the medical bills), so I've been poking around for a little part-time gig. I know that there is still absolutely no way I can work a 40-hour week, even if it were a desk-bound office job. I just don't have the strength or endurance to do it--I'm only good for a few hours at a time before I need to lay down and recharge my weakened batteries. Still, nothing really noteworthy has popped up, but I keep looking. On the plus side, all I really have to worry about is my truck payment and insurance, and I'm down to only seven more payments before I own the ol' girl outright. So, like I said, I don't have to sweat the money so badly--my family has been extremely generous in making sure that I don't have to take much out of my own pocket so I can just focus on getting better. For that I feel truly lucky and blessed.

Anyhow, that's the latest from the rain-soaked hills of Tennessee. I'll be taking my camera and laptop on the road with me, just in case the weather clears or anything of interest happens. I'll try and come up with some interesting reading for ya later in the week, too.

Mikey

So Much to be Thankful For

2010-11-25T00:53:00.003-06:00

Friends, one of my favorite holidays is upon us, and this year especially, I have much to be thankful for. First of all, I'm just happy to be here. After spending five years spinning my wheels in the casino business, it's wonderful to be back home with family and friends. For those of you who've never missed out on that, let me tell you, it truly sucks. Everyone says they're ok with it, but deep down, I'm sure that I wasn't the only person out there in the neon playground who resented the hell out of the fact that the holidays were nothing special.

Screw that.

Nothing is more important than family and friends--trust me on this, I know! And as crazy as they can drive you sometimes, remember that it's only because they mean so much and have years of experience pushing your buttons.

But this year I feel truly blessed. I appreciate the fact that I almost didn't make it to this holiday season. I think about it every day, and in moments of solitude, when I stop to consider it, it's almost overwhelming to me. I can't believe how lucky I am.

Having put a few month's thought into it, I truly believe that everything that has happened to me this year was timed perfectly to help me survive and get another chance at life. I hope it doesn't sound too hokey, but getting canned from the job at Sunset probably saved me. It set me on the path that led me back here to Nashville, and I can't discount all the wonderful coincidences that got me here.

After I got the boot, two weeks later I was here in Nashville visiting the family, and at that time I decided that I was done with Vegas. I was willing to give it one more year, but that was it--I was gonna be gone by the end of the World Series in 2011. At least that was the plan.

But after that visit, I flew back to Vegas, looking for a decent job to carry me through. What I got was a shiatty job at the Golden Nugget, and a damn good job at Bally's. Unfortunately (I thought at the time), neither one was a permanent gig. Not knowing what I know now, I thought working at Bally's would be a dream job, and I truly felt that I was going to get an offer to stay on permanently. I really liked it there--the people were top notch, and it really was a good place to work, previous references to the 'Evil Empire' notwithstanding.

Nothing else looked promising on the job front, so I told myself that if the Bally's gig didn't work out, then I'd just go ahead and move back to Tennessee this year-- I mean, hell, if I'm going to work a crummy job (which was all that was left in Vegas), then I might as well work a crummy job in a place where I could be near my family.

So I jumped through the hoops, did the paperwork, and tried my hardest to get that job at Bally's. I lasted longer and made it further through the process than most folks, but in the end, they chose somebody else for the position.

Probably the best letdown of my life.

I'm not lying at all when I say that I was bummed out for about five minutes, tops. At least then I finally knew what was going to happen with my situation, after having been up in the air all summer long. And I know it may sound weird, but I feel like I owe the poker director at Harrah's my life. He's the last one I interviewed with and ultimately made the decision on whether or not to hire me. He chose somebody else, and I'll probably be forever in his debt, because had I got the job, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would be dead right now, having passed away alone in my apartment back there in Henderson due to a massive pulmonary embolism and unable to get to phone. (Yes folks, it was that close).

Just a couple of weeks after I got the word that I wouldn't be working at Bally's any longer, I found myself back in Nashville, among the people that mean the most to me. Never once did I feel like I'd made the wrong decision. And luckily for me, I happened to be at Cyndi & Tim's house a week later when I fell ill, unable to breathe, walk, talk, or do much else.

They rushed me to the nearest emergency room, where it seemed every doctor on staff dropped what they were doing in an effort to keep me breathing. They ran tests on me all day long, and after about twelve hours, they realized that what I had was something they couldn't treat. Again, luckily for me, my doctor there at Williamson Medical Center knew of a doctor at Vanderbilt who specialized in some sort of new procedure that was thought might be able to help me. So at midnight they had him on the phone, going over my test results, and less than a half hour later, I was getting evacuated to Vanderbilt from the local hospital. While I was riding in the ambulance in the middle of the night, they were rounding up a surgical team to perform an emergency operation.

That's when I started getting a little worried. They don't normally schedule surgeries at 3:30 am on a weekend.

They took me straight up to the intensive care unit to do my initial preparation, and I met with the surgeon for the first time. He gave it to me straight, and let me tell you, there is no way to prepare for a talk like that. He told me that he could do the surgery, but this embolism (basically a huge blood clot) had gone through my heart and was so big that it was blocking the artery that came out of my heart right where it split to go to each my lungs--it was called a 'saddle embolism' because it straddled both paths. And it was as big as a fist--how it ever got through my heart without me dropping dead, I'll never know. I was told that most people don't even make it as far as I did--most of them die an instantaneous death. Even though I'd made it that far, the doctor told me that my chances of surviving the surgery weren't very good.

In fact, his exact words were "You need to gather your family and say what you need to say to them".

How do you even respond to something like that? How do you go from feeling like one morning you've just got a severe chest cold to the point where you realize a few hours later that you may not see another sunrise? So much left to say, so much left to do, yet I had absolutely no control over any of it...

While all this was going on, Mamasan was lighting up the phones, telling everyone in the family to get down to the hospital as soon as they could possibly make it, because I was in trouble. And not the kind bail money could solve...

While I was being shaved from shoulders to knees and being attended to by an army of nurses, the doctor took my entire family aside and told them the same thing--chances are that I wasn't going to make it. I can't even imagine the feeling in that room at the time, but afterward, they allowed all ten or eleven of them to come see me. I knew it had to be a grave situation because they never let more than one or two family members at a time back there, and there I was with a huge crowd around my bed.

There are a few images indelibly inked on my memory, and that night, lying in that bed with all those tubes and machinery hooked up to me and my family around me is something that I'll never, ever, forget. I know it was tough on them, but nobody has any idea how tough it was on me. Not only did I already feel like I'd been beaten to a pulp physically, but I laid there thinking This is it? This is why I made it home--just to say goodbye? This is where it ends? It doesn't seem quite fair...

I don't even remember what was said--just how I felt. The only thing I remember was giving my sister Amy all of my passwords to my accounts and such, just in case. It must've been pretty awkward, and it seems a stupid, if necessary, thing to be doing with your last few minutes spent with your loved ones.

Maybe I just didn't think it was my time to go.

I say that now, but I was plenty worried, especially when I got to the operating room.

This is the place where people die...

Take a deep breath for me Michael...

Hey, this smells funny. I hope I wake up from this... I *have* to live--I can't die on September 11th!

Although I don't remember one bit of it, due to the extraordinary talents of my surgeon and his staff, I woke up about eight hours later, with my sisters Sherry and Cyndi at my bedside. A few hours later, I was able to get the ventilator tube out of my throat and was able to talk a little. I remember seeing my sister Nancy for the first time in years--she'd flown in from Houston on the first available flight, and she sat with me for hours, just holding my hand. That made all the difference in the world--I felt like the worst was behind me.

Eventually, I got to see the rest of my family--Dad drove up from Atlanta and Reverend Dave had come in from Alabama. Everyone was there and had spent a sleepless night in the waiting room. It had to be a tough time for everyone, waiting for the doctor to come out and tell them one way or the other if they'd ever see me again. It had to have been a miserable stretch of time, because I know how hard it would've been on me had it been one of my sisters under the knife instead. The realization that there's not a thing in the world you can do is a tough pill to swallow.

But I was told by my doctor and several of the ICU nurses that it was a miracle that I survived--apparently, it was a very near run thing. Three days later, I was able to walk, and five days after that, I was going home, very much alive.

Ever since then, the process of my recovery has been nothing short of amazing, and I know how very lucky I am to be here--like I said, I think about it all the time. Sometimes I get frustrated, wondering if I'll ever have a 'normal' life again, and wishing that I would just be completely healed, but it doesn't work that way. I have good days and bad days, but the more days I have, the good ones outnumber the bad.

That is why I'm so very thankful today, and every day, for the life I have and the life I've been given. I love my family more than anything, and the lengths they've all gone through these past couple of months to help me have been more than I could've ever asked. The sacrifices that they have made on my behalf humble me almost to tears when I sit down and really think about it. I'll never be able to repay their kindness, all I can do is try to live the kind of life that makes them feel that their efforts were worth it.

I'm thankful that I'm living in Tennessee, where I'm close to them. I'm thankful that there is a cosmic order to the universe and all the chaos of the previous year led to me being in the right place at the right time, just when things seemed to be their worst. That in itself is its own kind of miracle. I'm thankful for the close friends I have, and all those who've shown their support as I slowly make my way from being a helpless invalid to being a fully-functional normal human being again. I'm thankful for the skilled hands of Dr. Stephen Ball of the cardiac surgery staff at Vanderbilt Medical Center--without him, I wouldn't be here today. I'm thankful to all of the amazing nurses and staff in the cardiac ICU who treated me like I was the only patient in the entire hospital the entire time I was there.

But most of all, I'm thankful for second chances. I got a big one, and all of the stupid stuff that I used to think was important, well, I realized that some of it really ain't. Family is important, friends are important, and most of all, never forgetting that it could all be gone in an instant is important.

Friends, raise a glass and be thankful today for all of the important things in your life. Not only that, make sure that you do something to show it, because they may not be there tomorrow, and you may not be as lucky as me.

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!

Much love--

Mikey

Gettin' Ready for the Big Day

2010-11-24T07:11:00.000-06:00

Happy Hump Day, everybody! I hope all of you office drones have a short and enjoyable day in the cube farm while you goof off until it's time to punch out for the weekend.

Me--my weekend is already here, heh... Actually, right now, I'm up here in the woods of northern Tennessee at Mamasan's house, and at some point this afternoon we're making that long 70-mile trek back down to Spring Hill.

I got here yesterday afternoon, after another session at the 'park-n-jab' clinic down at Vanderbilt (only four more months of that, I'm hoping!). Anyhow, since I was already halfway here, I just drove on up yesterday to spend the afternoon. And since it's such a haul, I brought a bag and my laptop and just spent the night in her spare room.

We spent a good portion of the afternoon making a huge batch of peanut-butter balls in preparation for the holidays. I've decided that next week I'll probably make another huge batch myself and deliver them to all the nurses over at the Vanderbilt cardiac ICU--they were the ones who took such good care of me for five days back when things weren't lookin' so go for me. Of course, once they wheeled me away and took me to the step-down unit for my last three days in the hospital, they never saw me again, and I want to let them know that I'm alive and doing well, and that I appreciate how much effort they put into keeping me on the right side of the grass.

So yeah, we rolled about 120 of those little suckers yesterday, a double batch, and this morning they get the chocolate coating. It's been probably twenty years or more since I've been around to help Mamasan make 'em, so it's been a lot of fun.

Once our chores were done last night, we took off and headed down to the nearest town of any size, a little burg called White House. It's interesting, because when we were kids, three of us (Cyndi, Nancy, and me) used to go to school out there. It's a small town, and it hasn't changed very much in the thirty years since I was in junior high. But we had dinner at a pretty good little Mexican joint, and then we drove over to the Wally world supercenter to pick up all the non-perishables we need for our contributions to the Thanksgiving feast.

Mamasan is making her famous fruit salad, while I'm making deviled eggs, stuffing casserole, and corn casserole. I just found the recipe for the stuffing casserole a couple of weeks ago and gave it a shot. It turned out so well that I volunteered to make it again for turkey day--one less thing that Cyndi and Tim have to do (they're hosting this year, and I think there are ten or eleven of us that are going to be there. And we're having a regular roasted turkey, plus a deep-fried southern-style one, too).

As far as family goes, Amy and Scottie won't be joining us--they're going to Scottie's parents' place up in Kentucky, and Sherry and Steve are headed off for a weekend escape to a cabin in Gatlinburg. Reverend Dave has been noncommittal all month, and might be using the poor weather as an excuse to go with a better offer, so it's doubtful that we'll see him. So it looks like it'll be me and Mamasan, Cyndi & Tim, plus a few family friends for dinner. Cyndi's girls will be by later (this year is their dad's year) with the kids after dinner, but they'll come and hang out that afternoon and evening.

Should be a good time, and I'm excited to finally be able to celebrate Thanksgiving again after five years--no shift at the casino for me this time!

So once we get on the road this afternoon, we'll hit the grocery store for a few last-minute perishables, then the plan is to do our cooking and prep this evening. Cyndi will be getting back in town late this afternoon, too, so it should be a good time there at the house while we all get ready to prepare for tomorrow.

Y'all drive safe and have a wonderful weekend. And for those of you who are flying instead of driving, enjoy your groping at the hands of the TSA! Don't think of it as gate-rape, just lie back and think of England...

More tomorrow--

Mikey

Another Walk In the Woods

2010-11-20T16:11:00.000-06:00

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day down here in The Hill, and as tempting as it was to lie around on the couch watching college football, I just had to get out and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. And after suffering through that cold and damp hike up at Percy Priest Lake earlier in the week, I wanted to reward myself with some quality time out in the woods when it was actually kind of sunny and warm out.

Referring to my 60 Hikes book, I saw that there was an 'easy' rated hike just a few miles down the freeway from Spring Hill on the Duck River, so today around noon, I put on my walking shoes and grabbed my hiking stick, and pointed my truck towards Henry Horton State Park.

It didn't take long to get there, and the trailhead is right off the highway. Yeah, at first I thought that would be a feature, not a bug, but I didn't like it very much at all--I could hear traffic noise for most of the hike.

Officially, the trail is called the Willhoite Mills trail, and it meanders along the Duck River, through a civil-war era grain mill complex. In fact, just a few feet from the parking lot, you come across the first relics:

Just down the hill a few steps from the old industrial equipment, the path turns left and runs along the top of a limestone ledge that overlooks the river. It's not exactly treacherous, but then again, you have to pay attention where you step, else you'd go tumbling down the hill into the water. Not something I wanted to do, that's for sure.

The first point of interest along the river is the 'narrows', a spot where it was supposedly dammed up back in the old days. Also, it's claim to fame was that Andrew Jackson crossed there way back in the day. I have no political or military aspirations, so I just stayed on this side of the river.

It was actually a nice walk along the river, with several rocky outcroppings all along the way where you could sit and watch the water or toss pebbles in. I just kept on walking, although I stopped to take a picture or two.

After about a third of a mile or so, the path veered away from the river and up into the woods along a dried up gulch that led to a spot called Haunted Springs.

According to the legend, and lady was doing her wash in the spring, holding a baby in a cloth sling. But the baby fell out of the sling into the water and was immediately washed away, never to be found again, even after a large scale manhunt. Somehow, that makes it haunted, but wandering through there on a sunny afternoon, it didn't seem too spooky to me.

As the trail wound it's way through the woods, uphill and further away from the river, the path found its way to another dried-up riverbed. It was pretty cool to see, but I imagine that during the summer months, the place is just crawling with snakes. It just looks like a good place to live, if I were a snake, that's all I'm sayin'.

Even so, it's still very pretty, and the last quarter-mile of the trail heading back to the parking area was nice and shady, too. I enjoyed it a lot, although it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. The first bit had some up-and-down, and for someone who's still somewhat uncoordinated and out-of-shape, there were a few tricky steps here and there, but nothing major.

The further you got from the river, the easier the walk became--no rocks, a fairly defined dirt trail, and minimal change in elevation. According to the guidebook, it's only a mile, but with stopping for pictures and taking the occasional rest, it took me about 40 minutes to walk it. Definitely a better workout than wandering the sidewalks around the neighborhood, and certainly more interesting, too.

Once I got back to the truck, I rested for a bit, then crossed over the highway to check out the camping area at Henry Horton State Park. I'm always on the lookout for another good camping spot, and I had high hopes for this one. Unfortunately, it was pretty sucky. Easily the lamest camping area I've seen yet. I mean, do they really need 4x4 timbers staked into the ground to mark where you have to put your tent? Seriously, it looked like the outdoors version of a time-out area. Not only that, the sites were tiny, way too close together, and on the edge of a huge field with a barn out in the middle of it. Who wants to camp there? Oh yeah, and it's not far off the highway, too, so there is plenty of traffic noise.

Worst. Campground. Evar.

Anyhow, now that I've seen it and scouted it out, we won't waste our time staying there next summer. At least the hike was interesting.

Mikey

The Miraculous Voyage

2010-11-17T08:38:00.002-06:00

Thank you all for your patience. I know it's been a long time coming (2 weeks now), but I hope it's worth it--maybe you'll enjoy my thoughts about this latest cruise vacation.

It's hard to believe that it's over. We planned for it for almost a year, saved for it and paid it off over the course of several months, anticipated it for what seemed like forever, and enjoyed it for eight wonderful days.

And now it's in the history books. Kind of a bummer.

But that's ok--when things were winding down at the tail end of the trip, with no more adventures lurking over the horizon, everyone agreed that they were ready to come home. Even so, I'd go back again tomorrow and do it all over again if I were given half the chance. Since that ain't very likely, I guess I'll just try to re-live a little bit of it here on the blog by sharing it with all of you folks.

Instead of doing an hour-by-hour epic travelogue-type post, which is my usual style, I think I'm going to categorize it and cover the most memorable topical stuff. I could've written a full-length rehash, but that would've required me to spend an hour or so each night jotting down notes, and well, I just didn't feel like doing that. I was on vacation from everything, including this website.

So without further adieu, here we go...

Background

For the two, maybe three readers who aren't aware, my sisters and I took a cruise together for the first time back in 2000. We had such a great time that we decided to do it every year--which we did, up until 2004. After that, I moved to Vegas and started working in the casino biz and weekends, holidays, and vacations became a thing of the past. However, my sisters kept going, sometimes taking two or even three cruises per year, whenever the finances and vacation balance would allow. I think Cyndi has been on 18 cruises now, and Sherry was on her 13th when we embarked. Me--well, this was only my fifth cruise--I'm a piker compared to them. But I decided a year ago that I wasn't going to miss another one, and come hell or high water, I was going this time around.

And I almost didn't make it.

Y'all already know about my near-miss with the Grim Reaper back in September, and for a little while there, we didn't know whether I'd be getting out of the hospital in either a wheelchair or a pine box, much less be going on a family cruise seven weeks later. My survival and subsequent recovery has been nothing short of miraculous (Best comeback since Jesus!), so our trip aboard the aptly-named Carnival Miracle was especially sweet.

Anyhow, we'd been planning this trip long before I got sick, back when I was still making a fairly decent living. Luckily I paid off the cruise, purchased my airline ticket, and even set aside $500 in spending money earlier in the summer. Basically, all I had to do was pack my bags and go. So a few twists and turns aside, once October rolled around, we were all good and ready to get our cruise on. The cast of characters this time around included Mamasan and her friend Mary, Sherry and Steve, Cyndi and Tim, Amy and Scottie, our buddy Gaines, Reverend Dave, and I, your humble scribe. That's eleven people, in case you weren't counting.

In the past, I've gone the bargain route and shared an interior cabin--you know, one of those cut-rate rooms on the inside of the ship with no windows. It's very affordable, and the rooms are quite comfy (love taking a nap in the pitch dark!), but I needed me some ocean views. So this time around, I splurged for a balcony stateroom, as did most of the rest of the our party. In fact, we had four staterooms all in row on the port side, so the potential for buffoonery was damn near unlimited. While most of our group was together in those rooms, Sherry and Steve went upscale and got one of those huge suites on the tail-end of the ship that had a corner balcony, while Mom and Mary booked their trip a little later than the rest of us, and opted to save a few bucks and got a regular ocean-view stateroom (no balcony) on a lower deck.

As far as getting to Ft. Lauderdale went, we got lucky and managed to all get on the same flight, too (Well, except Reverend Dave--he lives down in Alabama, so he flew Delta out of Huntsville). So the night before we departed, Mamasan came down to Amy & Scottie's house for a slumber party, and we all carpooled to the airport together early in the morning, meeting everyone else there at the gate. That night, however, we introduced Mamasan to the tasty goodness of tequila. Yep, sixty-some-odd years old, and she'd never had a margarita before. So she made up for it by having three of them with dinner, and she slept better than the rest of us that night. While she drooled on the couch, I stayed up late packing and preparing, then piling up all the suitcases out in the living room.

Ready to go...

Getting There

We set the alarms for 4:45 in the morning, and we had the truck loaded and were on the road by 5:30. We stopped to pick up Gaines, who lives pretty close to the airport, and I was standing in line checking my luggage by 6:30 for our 7:50 flight. Everyone else had stopped for coffee and breakfast and whatnot, but since it was quite a hike to our gate, and I was dragging a duffel bag and my backpack, I just went with momentum and kept on walking--I knew that if I stopped to rest, it would be tough to get up and keep going, and Southwest's gates at the Nashville airport are a long way from the front door. So with my slow and steady hike, I was the first one there. But after a few minutes, the rest of the family came trickling through security and down the corridor, and then the excitement and laughter kicked in.

Our gang patiently waits to get on the plane and get to Florida.

The flight was uneventful, and we made it to Ft. Lauderdale a few minutes early. While we were waiting at the luggage carousel, Reverend Dave came strolling up to greet us, as his flight landed about twenty minutes before ours did.

We broke off into smaller groups to cab it over to the cruise terminal, with some folks stopping at the local Publix to buy soft drinks, bottled water, and more wine to bring aboard. Dave and I didn't feel the need, and we just wanted to get to the ship, so we grabbed a cab together and headed off to Port Everglades, about a ten-minute taxi ride away.

Between the two of us, we had a ton of luggage--I had a big suitcase, a garment bag, a rolling duffel, and my backpack. I think Reverend Dave had one less bag. But the cab driver dropped us off in front of the VIP entrance instead of just curbside, and ironically, there were no porters there to take our luggage. We went inside and explained to them that Guest Services had told me to use the VIP entrance because, due to my surgery, I was unable to lift and carry my stuff, much less stand in line in the heat and humidity (and damn was it ever hot and humid down there!).

The VIP folks were very understanding, and shuffled us along, although we still had all of our luggage with us. But everyone we encountered just kept saying to keep moving along. When we go to the third person in the screening process, I was dripping in sweat and feeling not-so-well. Of course I looked every bit like I'd just gotten out of the hospital, but still, we were unable to ditch our luggage. Dave even offered to take it all back to the curb, but the folks tending the check-in lines would have no part of it--they just kept saying to move on forward, it's just right ahead.

That turned out to be a huge clusterf*ck, as we ended up having to drag all of our luggage on board with us, no matter how many times we asked to give it to a porter. We even had to put our full-sized suitcases and garment bags through the carry-on x-ray machine, because once we got into the VIP line, there was no turning back. And even though we requested help with our luggage, all they would do was offer up a wheelchair.

No, I didn't need a wheelchair, I need one of you mofos to take my suitcases!

We never could ditch the bags, but Reverend Dave went above and beyond, though, and carried all the heavy stuff, while I just dragged two of the rolling suitcases and my backpack. On the other hand, they *did* let us go through the VIP line with the upper-crust passengers and go directly onboard ahead of the herd.

The downside, however, was that we still had all that stuff with us, and couldn't go to our cabin until 1:30. But we were onboard the ship by noon. Even though the main doors to the corridors on our deck were closed, discouraging people from going to their cabins, they were unlocked. So we went to our cabins anyways and ditched the luggage in the closet. The rooms were a mess, still being cleaned by the stewards from the previous weeks' occupants, but we weren't carrying those bags another step.

Once we dropped the luggage off, we headed upstairs to the Lido Deck for lunch. The problem is, only three of the elevators were available for passenger use (the rest were being used by the crew to deliver luggage and supplies), and then once we finally made it to the Lido Deck, every other passenger on the ship was there, also. Besides the main lobby in the atrium, there was no place else to go until the boarding process was completed and people could get to their cabins. So there were 2100 people, all dragging their carry-on bags with them, crowding into the restaurant area that had seating for maybe eight or nine-hundred people, max--another total clusterf*ck.

At that point, frustrated, tired, covered in sweat, and unable to get a seat anywhere and needing a rest, my opinion of the Carnival Miracle was not very good. I was kinda pissed. Dave and I went up to the Sun Deck to take some pictures, and if all else failed, look for a shady spot on deck to rest until we could get to our staterooms, change clothes, and get a bottle of water.

But once we got outside, away from the crowds, felt the breeze and saw the ocean, it was like a switch had been flipped. Serenity now and all that shiat... Things were looking up! I even snapped a few pictures.

The Coral Princess was sitting across the harbor from us, also embarking that day, while the harbor patrol was busy telling the captain of that nice sailboat that he'd have to park elsewhere...

The smokestack that inspired a generation of ladies underwear. Everybody loves the whale tail!

The Ship Itself

Due to the non-functioning elevators, the fact that we had to carry our own luggage aboard, and the overcrowded restaurant on embarkation day, I was full-on prepared to be pissy about the ship. Also, if you do a google image search for 'Carnival Miracle', the pictures of the interior are not flattering at all. It just looks a little too over-the-top and way over-decorated. Well, that was the first impression that I think I wanted to form. But after the first day, most everyone in our group, myself included, really fell in love with the ship.

Why? Well, the Spirit class of Carnival ships (Spirit, Pride, Legend, and Miracle) are perfectly designed, if you ask me. I've been on two other Carnival ships, Paradise and Elation, plus two Royal Caribbean ships, and the Miracle was my favorite, by far. I loved the layout. Granted, it helped that we were exactly in the middle of the ship (one door down from the glass elevators in the atrium), but the Spirit class ships hold only 2100 passengers, smaller than most other cruise ships, yet they still offer all of the same amenities that the bigger ships have.

We were on the fifth (Upper) deck. All we had to do was hop on the elevator to go anywhere, no walking down ridiculously long 900-foot corridors to get to the dining room or whatever. Seriously, we took five steps to the elevator, got off at the Lido Deck and were in the restaurant. If we went to the Sun Deck, we stepped off at the Steakhouse. If we went down to the third deck, all the shops and the photo gallery were right there. Down to the second deck, and we were in the main atrium lobby and the casino was a few steps away in one direction, the main dining room a few steps away in the other direction. It was extremely convenient and well laid out. 90% of the places we wanted to go were either on the ninth deck or second deck, with staterooms everywhere else.

As far as the decor goes, yeah, it was a little extreme, but that's what Carnival does. Subtle is not in their corporate dictionary. That being said, it all went together pretty well, and it truly was a good-looking ship once you figured out the vibe they were going for.

This is the interior of the steakhouse, Nick & Nora's, from the entrance. It's a two-story affair with a dance floor in the middle of the dining room. Also, that rail in front overlooks the atrium, and the lobby is eight floors down.

Yup, that's the lobby down there, as seen from the steakhouse. In the upper right of this picture, you can see the base of the vertigo-inducing flying staircase made of glass that leads from the Lido Restaurant up to the steakhouse. Think about that--a solid glass circular staircase eight floors up. It's more of a chandelier than a staircase. Now think about walking down it with a few drinks in your system when the ship is rocking back and forth in ten-foot swells...

As you step off of the mid-ship glass elevator on the fifth deck and take an immediate left, this is what you see. That was my cabin door, #5204. Cyndi & Tim were the next door closer in 5202, Reverend Dave next door further down in 5206, and Amy & Scottie next to him in 5208.

Like I said, we all pretty much loved the ship after our first day aboard. The only bummer was the fact that we wanted to take down the partitions between our individual balconies and have one big damn long balcony, but we couldn't do it. Apparently, there is a special brace required on each frame when the partitions come down, and they only have twenty per ship 'for safety reasons'. That kinda sucks when there are about 400 balcony staterooms. Anyhow, all of these braces were long-since snapped up by other passengers by the time we asked the room stewards to hook us up. So we just kept our own individual balconies, although at one point during the week, we had seven people out on ours, enjoying the sunset.

One thing I really liked was the decor in the Lido Restaurant--Horatio's. It's the casual buffet where we usually ate breakfast and lunch. It was themed after the Napoleonic-era British Navy, and it had intricately-detailed model ships placed all about the dining area, and some larger scale ones hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the restaurant. Since I'm into that kind of stuff, I really enjoyed wandering around in there just looking at all the details late at night when the place was empty. I often wondered how many people actually took the time to notice how much craftsmanship it took to make them, because they looked to be museum-quality. I'm kicking myself for not taking more pictures in there, because it was probably my favorite space on the entire ship for eye candy that wasn't bikini-clad.

I think Reverend Dave has a few more pics, and as soon as he gets them uploaded, I'll post 'em up.

The Staterooms

Carnival may have a reputation in the industry as a trailer-park at sea, and yeah, there were definitely some low-class boorish passengers bringing things down on occasion, but Carnival ships have some of the biggest and best standard staterooms out there--definitely better than Royal Caribbean. Ours was no exception.

My only gripe about the layout is that when you have two twin beds like this, they should be up against the wall. It's a lot of work to stay in bed when the ship is trying to outrun a hurricane, and having a wall to wedge up against is much better. Also, one has to sit up to turn over--no rolling over else you're on the floor. They were still comfy, but not nearly as restful as sleeping in a queen-sized bed or being up against the wall.

There was plenty of storage space--the closet was triple wide, plus there were plenty of drawers available too. Maybe I just felt like I had lots of space because I wasn't sharing a room with three chicks this time. Dudes travel much lighter, so we had lots of unused space. Also, each cabin on this ship had a mini-fridge, stocked with beer, soft drinks, and liquor.

I only have one picture of the bathroom, and it comes later, for reasons that will be obvious, but I have to tell you that I love love LOVED the shower in our stateroom. It was some sort of kick-ass European design with all kinds of ways to adjust it, plus the head was a detachable hand-held shower massage. But I really liked the fact that you could instantly adjust the water to a set temperature and take a scalding hot shower if you wanted to, or like the afternoon when we got back on the boat after spending the day in St. Maarten, you could make it blessedly cold--not just room temperature. I mean, it was much nicer than any setup I've ever had at home. Seriously, it was the kind of shower you'd expect to find on the dashboard of a Mercedes S-class, if they offered that sort of thing. I can't rave about it enough...

The only gripe we had about the room was the fact that there was only one single electrical outlet available for use. We solved that by bringing a short-corded power-strip, but still, if you don't bring one, you aren't plugging in anything except your iPod speakers.

The Service

This is where Carnival usually excels--every crew member on the ship is extremely friendly and helpful. We loved our wait team in the dining room--Tomi from Indonesia, and Duro from Croatia. Always great service, but we could tell that Duro was still a rookie and kind of learning the ropes. Our room steward was just a little bit disappointing with a few minor things, but then again, we barely ever saw him. However, I got a kick out of this towel animal he made for us on election night:

Another one of our favorites was the waiter we had out on deck every day, Gus, also from Indonesia. He learned our names early on and earned some phat tips from us...

The Activities

Even though it's one of the smaller ships in Carnival's fleet, there was no shortage of things to do during our four wonderful sea days. I spent most mornings the same way I always did--up early, a cup of coffee and breakfast in Horatio's, then out to the aft adults-only pool for some quality sun time. But having a balcony, I spent a whole lot more time out there, especially first thing in the morning. My plan was to also hit the track up on the Sports Deck every morning, but as we made our way southbound, we had a 20+ knot headwind, making it very gusty up top, so they closed off the sports deck for safety reasons. I never made it up there again, but believe me, I still got plenty of exercise.

I loved the saltwater pool on the aft deck, and spent most of my free time out there. I never once made it to the main pools in the middle of the ship, nor did I ever go on the water slide. It's not like there were a bunch of kids on the ship (that's why we always go in October, all the rug-rats are in school), but there were still a few around, plus the usual collection of young couples that had their first precious snowflake still in a stroller. So that kept me back in the adults-only area.

Even though I never rode the slide, my brothers did...

So every morning after breakfast, I went back down to the stateroom and grabbed a backpack full of stuff like a beach towel, binoculars, my camera, sunscreen, an iPod, a book, and a spare t-shirt. Then I'd head up to the aft Lido deck and find a chaise lounge to camp on for several hours. A lot of people had the same routine, and every day, the same gal from Virginia came and sat down next to me. We had lots of enjoyable interesting conversations during the week, so I enjoyed hanging out up there. Also, most of my gang would make their way up there, too, and we'd always order a few drinks of the day while slowly roasting in the sun. Yeah--I got some good color while on vacation.

Well, hello there, sexy internet people... How YOU doin'?

Besides just the pool, there were plenty of other diversions to keep us occupied. Of course there was the casino, which, yeah, I hit a few times. I played blackjack a few times with my brothers--we'd take over a complete table and have a few laughs and cocktails while waiting for the girls. There was one table in particular that I thought was amazing--it had the best rules I've ever seen on a Blackjack table. It was an eight-deck shoe, but any 21 was an automatic winner, no waiting for the dealer to make a hand and maybe push--if you drew to a 21, you got paid instantly. And if you got a blackjack, a 5-card 21, a 6-7-8 21, or a 7-7-7 21, you got paid instantly at 3:2 (no waiting to see if the dealer got a blackjack, either). You could double after *any* card, not just the third one, double after splits, re-hit split Aces, and they offered late surrender. I couldn't believe it! It was like the most amazing set of player-friendly rules ever!

Then, three days into the cruise, I found out that there we no queens in the deck. WTF? Nope, they didn't have that posted anywhere on the table, nor where they offering up that info voluntarily. You had to ask. That's 32 fewer chances to get a blackjack, a HUGE advantage for the house, so I immediately colored up and quit playing as soon as I learned that. I just never noticed that there were no queens coming out. It turned out that all of their blackjack tables had some sort of god-awful Harrah-fied rules, so after that, I avoided the blackjack tables altogether.

On the other hand, the casino on this ship was huge--easily the biggest one out of the five different cruises I've been on--so there were other diversions available to me. Yep, they had a double-zero roulette table, as expected, 3-card poker, Caribbean Stud, craps, and oh-by-the-way, one of them electronic dealer-less hold-em tables we've heard about.

I gave it a try during the second sea day, after I found out that they took a $6 rake (again, not posted anywhere, but then again, there is no Nevada Gaming Commission out there in international waters. Apparently, the casino rules on cruise ships are derived from the Pirate Code, which we all know are more like guidelines, anyways...)

The only game they offered all week was 1-2 no limit, which was fine with me, and you played with your sail-n-sign card, no cash. After my first try, I was less than impressed. I mean, it was cool and all, and it really sped the game up, but I didn't really enjoy sitting there wasting my precious cruise time waiting for a hand. I ended up leaving after about two hours, up $50, and I cashed out completely, never going back for the rest of the week.

My buddy Gaines, however, loved it, and spent almost all of his free time there playing it--he was actually up over $500 by the end of the trip. But the difference between us is that he's been in Tennessee all these years and poker games are a lot harder to come by. I'm still kind of coming down from living in Vegas, where I could almost always find a poker game, so I didn't feel the need to sit down and play so much. And I don't much care for the electronic version, I've decided, so I took the money and ran after one session.

I did, however, play a bit of craps (the only bad rule there was the 12 only paid double on the field, but it's not a bet I'd make anyways), and I was able to enjoy it again. Between my ignorance of the blackjack rules and conservative hit-and-run play at the dice table, I was up over $300 in the casino just three days into the trip. But one night before dinner, we all played blackjack again, and I got pasted for $200 (at one point, the dealer had a stiff up card versus my 20 four times in a row, and drew to a 21 all four times, then finished me off when he dealt himself a blackjack). That's when an observer told me about the no queens rule, so I bitched for a minute or two and then left, feeling a little bit violated.

I played a little bit of dice here and there, not really too much, and I think I was down about a hundred bucks on the last night of the cruise. But late that night after dinner, I was back in my stateroom folding clothes and packing, I found $52 worth of casino chips in the pocket of a pair of cargo shorts. So I went back down to cash them in. While standing in line at the cage, I saw a huge crowd around the dice table, so I went over to investigate.

It turns out that there were only four people playing, but about 20 spectators. There was a kid rolling the dice who'd never played before, but he was having one of those monster rolls. So I stepped up and put my $52 into the game. He made me another $25 or so before he went out, so I was happy. I was enjoying myself, so I decided to stick around until the dice got to me.

Luckily, just a few minutes later, a guy at the far end of the table had a monster 40-minute roll, and I turned my $52 into $667. Oh hell yeah--and I was playing pretty conservatively at first. I didn't really start pressing until I'd doubled up. But this guy hit everything, and when it was over I cashed out--on the very last night of the cruise--for a $600 profit! Oh hell yeah. It was almost 1:00 am by that time, but once I got finished with my business at the cage, I ran down to the Purser's desk and put $540 against my sail-n-sign account. That made my whole week even better!

Believe it or not, besides the casino, there were plenty of other things to do. We spent a lot of time in the sports bar attached to the casino, because it was one of the few places onboard, besides our balconies, where we could smoke our cigars and pipes. And even though there was no ESPN on the TVs in our staterooms, they had ESPN in the sports bar, so we got to watch football and the World Series, if we were so inclined.

During the sea days, they always had plenty of other activities going on around the ship, but the only thing I remember taking part in was the 80s music trivia. I got 36 out of 40 right, and would've won, but the chick that won cheated a bit. No biggie, it's not like there was prize money at stake, but my competitive nature made me think bad thoughts about her...

Of course they had the nightly shows, comedians and musicals and such, but I never went to any of them. We had late dinner, so afterward we'd always go change clothes and either hit the casino, the sports bar, the piano bar, or just go up to Horatio's and play cards or board games or something. That was always fun. Gaines is big into games, so he brought a briefcase full of stuff. Besides playing our 'golf' and Chinese poker, we had a few epic games of Dominion and Settlers of Catan, and then some silly stuff like Cheeky Monkey or No Thanks. We played lots of games during our free time, and late at night, some of them were off-the-hook fun, especially when everyone was loaded up on red wine...

One thing that I thought I'd participate in, but never got around to, was going to the cocktail receptions. Cruise ships love to throw cocktail parties, and this one was no different. Everyone always goes to the 'Meet the Captain' receptions on the formal nights, but they don't do much for me--it's always overcrowded because of the free drinks and finger food. Having not worn a tie in the past six years or so, except for a couple of job interviews, I didn't really feel like dressing up that early in the evening.

I did, however, score an invite to an 'exclusive' Past Guest reception, but then again, half the people on the boat were also past guests, so it wasn't such an exclusive group. Besides, like the old saying goes, I wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have me as a member... Heh.

The highlight of the week, however, had to be Halloween. We went back and forth for months before we decided what to wear that night, but I think it all turned out pretty well. Here's a few pics:

Cleopatra and Caesar

Hef

Brittney

Willie and the Sunflower

Somebody's Robbin' the Cradle.

No pictures of Brittney would be complete without the obligatory up-skirt.

Reverend Dave, as Brittney, had by far the most popular costume on the entire ship. It was seriously like being followed by the paparazzi wherever we went--everyone had to have a picture with him. He got jobbed in the costume contest, though--didn't even place, although he was easily the crowd favorite. The winning costume was a couple that had done completely over-the-top Ghostbusters uniforms, complete with lights and electricity on the backpacks, but my favorite were the four people who dressed up like Pac Man. Well, one guy was the Pac Man, the other three were the blue monsters, and they arrived in the dining room fashionably late and ran through and around the tables like it was a huge life-sized video game. It gave everyone a great laugh at dinner. Oh, and there was also a 'Flo' from Progressive that looked exactly like the gal on the commercial, too, but when I went back to get my camera from the table, she was gone...

The Itinerary

Originally, we had a perfect itinerary--depart on a Tuesday, then two days at sea, St. Maarten, St. Lucia, St. Kitts, then two more sea days before coming back to Ft. Lauderdale. However, about four days out, we ran into this little thing called Hurricane Tomas, and well, that threw a monkey wrench into the whole plan.

We had our two sea days, then a wonderful time in St. Maarten, but that night at dinner, the Captain came on the PA system (even in the dining room, so we knew it was serious) to announce that the itinerary had to change due to bad weather and safety concerns. So, at that point, instead of going to St. Lucia the next day, the plan was to go to St. Kitts instead (which you can see from St. Maarten), and then after that, we'd scurry back north, adjusting our sea days, and then on the last day of the cruise, we'd drop in at Nassau in the Bahamas.

That pissed off everyone on the ship, and there was a whole lot of murmuring going on all around the dining room. We've all been to the Bahamas numerous times, but we'd never been to St. Lucia--basically the main reason we chose this particular cruise--so we got jacked. But that's the problem with cruising at the tail-end of hurricane season. Usually the weather is perfect, there are no kids on the boat, and the rates are cheap. But every now and then Mother Nature makes us pay. It kind of put a damper on the end of an otherwise great day.

Still, we had a wonderful time in St. Maarten. I'd been there before, back in 2001 (documented in my epic post about the greatest craps roll ever!), and I absolutely loved the place. It was a beautiful island, full of beautiful beaches and beautiful people, and lots and lots of cheap duty-free booze and other goodies. I was looking forward to getting back to the island.

The French side of St. Maarten, first thing in the morning, as seen from my balcony.

Our plan on this island, was to skip all of the shore excursions offered on the ship. First of all, they are a complete rip-off, overpriced as hell (and we found out that the cruise lines strong-arm the local tour operators, demanding a 65% cut of the purchase price! For that reason alone, I'll never take a shore excursion again that's offered onboard), and usually they're overcrowded. So a few weeks before we left, Steve and Sherry did some online sleuthing and found a private catamaran charter for us to take, so we jumped on it. We wanted nothing to do with the cruise-ship crowd, and we really wanted to do some sailing and snorkeling on our own. So the nine of us agreed to cough up $130 (plus tip) apiece for a private charter. (Mom and Mary opted not to join us)

The ship docked early in the morning, and we were out on the pier about ten minutes after they lowered the gangway at 8:00 am. We had to meet the sailboat at a local marina at ten, so our plan was to hit the town of Philipsburg and buy some Cuban cigars before our sailing trip. We took the water taxi to the main town dock, but even though there were two ships in port, the locals ran on island time, and most of the shops were still closed. We walked all up and down front street looking for cigars, but the main Habanos shop wasn't open until 9:00, and even though the proprietor was there, he didn't want any of our business. So we moved on.

Eventually, we gave up on the whole Front Street hike and made our way back down to the beach.

We still had a little time to kill before we had to be at the marina, so we stopped at a couple of shore-side bars and had a fruity drink or two. At one spot, our waiter brought out some extra-thick pistachio flavored liqueur, which was quite tasty, but not exactly thirst-quenching out there in the hot sun. Once we finished off our drinks, we did a bit of shopping where I was able to get my hands on some Cuban cigars and also a kick-ass straw hat to protect my melon from the sun. Eventually we all made it to the marina to wait for the catamaran to show up.

Our boat was just a few minutes late, but that was no problem. We all kicked off the flip-flops, boarded the sailboat, and headed out of the harbor, a day of seagoing adventure ahead of us. We headed south, and then west, out towards the Princess Juliana airport, hoping to catch a few jumbo jets landing on the beach.

We saw a few jets, but mostly it was a bunch of prop-driven island-hopping commuter planes.

We circled around a bit, trying to get some good photos (I think Reverend Dave has quite a few), but then we decided to move on and get some swimming down. We found a nice cove, with a beautiful sandy beach, and anchored about 200 yards offshore. There were a few rocks and reefs around for snorkeling, and everyone dove right in. Almost everyone--I was still hesitant.

First of all, my chest still has a huge fresh scar down the middle of it, and it's still pretty sensitive--it's still kind of hard to sleep on my stomach, and participating in the belly-flop contest on the ship was completely out of the question this year. Also, even though we were on a small catamaran (45 footer), it was still about a five-foot drop down to the water, and I didn't know if I could handle the jolt. Also, my biggest concern was getting back up into the boat--climbing up that tiny vertical ladder might've been too hard for me. I had no upper body strength, unable to lift anything more than ten pounds since my surgery, and hauling my carcass up that ladder seemed a daunting task.

So I stood there on the edge of the boat, thinking about jumping in, for a good five minutes. Reverend Dave was telling me not to, but everyone else was egging me on. That water looked good and refreshing, as it was hot as hell that day, but I'll admit, I was scared to jump. And even more worried about how I was going to get back on the boat later.

Eventually, I just said out loud (everyone was watching me and waiting for me to jump) F*ck it--if I'm gonna die, I'd rather it be here in the Caribbean than in some hospital bed back in Tennessee. And then I leaped.

Everyone held their breath to see if I'd surface without any problems, but I was just fine. The moment I hit the water, I felt like a million bucks. The water was clear and cool and about 30 feet deep down to the sandy bottom, and I just floated around for about a half hour or so, feeling better than I had in what seemed like forever. That time spent floating around in the ocean right there was worth every penny I paid for that cruise. I felt cleansed, both literally and figuratively. Life was good and I was gonna be ok.

Hell, I didn't want to get out!

Eventually, we had to move on, and I was a bit nervous about climbing back up into the boat. I had a couple of my brothers on deck, and a couple more in the water behind me to help me up if I needed it, but after a bit of grunting and groaning, I managed to pull myself up out of the water and back on deck. It was a bit slow and deliberate, but I made it without hurting myself.

We sailed on a bit more, maybe 45 minutes or so to the next cove. It was a beautiful spot, completely empty. We were offshore from the perfect beach, and there was nobody else around. Again, we anchored about 120 yards offshore, and I announced to everyone that I was jumping overboard and swimming to the beach. Of course, everyone else beat me to it, but over the side I went, and after splashing around the boat for a bit to cool off, we headed for the shore.

There was a slight swell to help us along, but even so, swimming in the ocean is quite the workout for someone who hadn't really used their arms in a couple of months. The beach was a little steeper than expected, and even the small waves rolling in were very powerful. We treaded water offshore while watching Amy get rolled over and over again, her laughter cracking us up every time she got knocked down. It was like she was in a giant washing machine up there, flopping around in the boundary zone between ocean and shore. She was finally able to remain standing and walk up on the shore, so we all followed.

Seriously, does it get any better than this? I think not.

It felt a little like we were swimming in the worlds largest bottle of Bombay Sapphire, minus the olives.

We hung out on the shore for quite awhile, looking for shells, picking up interesting rocks, but mostly just splashing around in the waves, slowing getting buried in the sand. It was a perfectly sunny day, with a nice occasional breeze, and the ocean felt wonderful. I could've stayed there forever. But it was not to be--we got summoned back to the boat for lunch.

Honestly, sitting there on that beach, I wasn't sure if I was able to make the swim back out to the boat, much less climb back aboard. I mean, there was a nice swell rolling in that I had to swim against, plus I could tell that I was already pretty much spent, and for a minute or two I considered just walking up to the road and catching a cab back to Philipsburg. Lucky for me, my gang offered up some moral support and I jumped back in the water. Tim swam behind me in case I got too tired, but the one thing I had going in my favor is my complete inability to sink. And salt water is even more buoyant than your typical swimming pool, so at worst I'd just rest and maintain position, then swim a bit more.

But when I got the last twenty yards or so, I did a 'sprint to the finish' and got to the stern ladder, pretty much worn out. However, I managed to climb up it one more time and get myself onboard. It wasn't that easy, though. There was a big school of over sized Angel fish swimming around the boat looking for food. They were pretty aggressive, too. All you had to do to scare them away was to smack the water and they'd scatter for a minute, but then they'd come right back.

Sherry and Steve were the last ones back to the boat, so by the time they got there, we were throwing pieces of bread overboard, creating a feeding frenzy in front of them. Gaines has it on video (not posted to YouTube just yet), and it's pretty cool to watch.

Lunch on board was absolutely amazing, and the highlight of the trip. The crew really outdid themselves with some top-notch food. While we were off frolicking on the beach, they were back on the boat grilling and preparing a feast that would rival any restaurant found on land.

We had some spicy island BBQ ribs, grilled mahi-mahi with a wasabi cream sauce (everyone's favorite), seafood paella that was just loaded with shrimp and calamari, not to mention the saffron rice. There was bean salad, green salad, macaroni salad, garlic cheese toast, fruit, and all the rum punch and Presidente beer you could drink.

And after a full morning of sailing, swimming, and snorkeling, it was a perfect lunch. We ate until we were stuffed, declaring that it was the best lunch we'd had yet, and not likely to be surpassed by anything in Horatio's back on the ship.

After stuffing ourselves on the great lunch, we cleaned up a bit, hauled the anchor, and set sail for another cove for more snorkeling. By then, everyone was in a food coma and just wanted to lie around in the sun, watching the sea roll by. But we we still had plenty of time to relax and goof off.

We sailed back towards Philipsburg, anchoring in yet another cove, but it was open to the swell and much too choppy for me. I remember trying to snorkel is choppy water back in the Caymans several years ago, and it sucked. I'm a strong swimmer (at least I was), and even then I felt like it was a little too far out of my comfort zone. So, knowing that I was already pretty worn out, I opted to stay onboard. A couple of my sisters did, too, and everyone that swam there on that last stop got back on the boat complaining about the chop. But it wasn't all bad, there was plenty of sea life lurking around on the bottom.

The starfish that ate Scotties head...

Still, a great time, although we all agreed that had we known, we would've just stayed at the second stop all day and swam some more after lunch. It was an unbeatable combination of sun, sand, and good times with my brothers and sisters, and it was a truly wonderful excursion. I can't say enough good things about Captain Neil and the crew of the Celine, but if you're ever in the neighborhood, you should definitely look him up.

After our last stop, we had about a 45-minute motorsail into the wind back to the main harbor in Philipsburg. We were all exhausted, salt-caked, and sunburned. But the good times didn't end there--we cooled off with pitchers of BBCs, Banana-Bailey Coladas. Oh hell yeah, they were every bit as good as you can imagine.

Once we made it back to port, we were absolutely wiped out. A full day sailing, swimming, and sunshine had taken it's toll. It was all we could do to make it back to the water taxi, much less walk down that long-ass pier back to the ship. We made it, barely, as they were getting ready to pull up the gangplank when we got there.

Once we got back onboard, it was like a mad-dash for the showers. Ocean water leaves you all sticky with salt, not to mention all the sand we still had in the pockets of our swim trunks and such, and there was no fresh-water rinse available on the sailboat. Once both Gaines and I had finished our showers, our bathroom looked like a giant litter box because of all the sand and salt we'd brought back aboard. It felt great to hose off in cool fresh water, and once I changed into some clean clothes, it was hard to motivate myself to dinner that night.

A few of us gathered on Tim & Cyndi's balcony to enjoy the sunset and smoke a fine Cuban cigar while we departed St. Maarten, putting a well-deserved exclamation point on a very good day. As the sun set on the starboard side of the ship, I took a picture of St. Bart's off in the distance as we cruised by.

Tim and I didn't think anyone would make it to dinner that night, as we were all beat, but we still had a full table in the dining room.

The amended plan for the next day was to go to St. Kitts, just a few miles away, so that night the ship just did an out-and-about cruise to nowhere, circling around until we could go into port first thing in the morning. Well, the next morning, it was pretty windy and choppy out, and you could definitely tell that there was a hurricane out there lurking just over the horizon.

The captain made two attempts at docking the boat in St. Kitts, but gave up because the wind was gusting up to 45 mph. There was no announcement made, but since we were obviously heading back out to sea at 9:00 am, instead of pillaging the island, we speculated on what would happen next. It was obvious that St. Kitts was off the table and that we were headed back north.

This was as close as we got to St. Kitts

While the captain and crew scrambled to figure out another port we could visit, the rest of us speculated. We were hoping for either St. Thomas or maybe even going back to St. Maarten, but we knew that was highly unlikely. I was up for San Juan, Puerto Rico, but we all agreed that we'd be completely pissed off if we ended up at Key West. Nobody wanted to go there.

A couple hours later, there was a palpable sigh of relief all across the ship when they announced that we'd go ahead and have our sea days 'now', instead of at the tail end of the trip, and that we'd be visiting Grand Turk next, then finishing off in the Bahamas.

Nice! None of us but Sherry and Steve had ever before been to the Turks & Caicos, and we'd heard that the beaches there were pretty nice. We figured it would be a nice consolation prize since we missed St. Lucia. And, as a bonus, I got to add another country visited to my list of blank stamps in my passport.

As we headed north, we passed Saba Island on the port side. It was such a hazy day, though, that it didn't make for a great picture. Still, Saba kinda looks, from a distance, like the kind of place where you'd find Jurassic Park. Or at least a bunch of drum-pounding natives searching for a virgin to sacrifice to the volcano...

After a couple of days at sea, we escaped the Caribbean and were back in the Atlantic, pulling into Grand Turk. As much as I hoped to like it, Grand Turk was just kind of meh... Basically, it's just a small, carved out cruise ship stop, like a lamer version of Costa Maya. Oh yeah, there were beaches, but you had to walk through all of the duty free tourist traps just to get off the boat, and you couldn't rent any snorkel equipment or do anything unless you'd signed up for it onboard the ship. Yep, the cruise line had a complete and total monopoly on that island, so no, I won't be going back.

However, it wasn't all bad. There was still plenty of white sand and gorgeous blue water available.

Everyone kind of split up and went shopping and whatnot, but Amy, Scottie, and I staked out some primo chaise lounges next to the huge freshwater pool at Margaritaville. Oh hell yeah. After being immersed in salt water for a good portion of the week, the appeal of a freshwater pool was too much to overcome. Oh, and lying under a palm tree drinking umbrella drinks seemed like a good plan, too.

It was nice and relaxing, and damn near the perfect way to spend the day, except for a few caveats. It was the most overpriced place I'd ever been (and that's saying a lot, having lived in Vegas for the better part of the past six years). One pitcher of margaritas, one order of nachos, and one order of coconut shrimp cost us--get ready for it--seventy five f*cking dollars!

I am not making that up.

Oh, we justified it by saying that yeah, we were on vacation, and yeah, we were using their pool. But $75? Geez, at least give me a kiss in the morning and tell me that you'll call... Of course, we were far too relaxed to summon up much righteous indignation, and ended up ordering three more $39 pitchers of margaritas throughout the course of our stay. But as good as the pool was, the coconut shrimp sucked.

Fourth of July on Amity Island. Wait, no... It's the first of November on Grand Turk!

As much as we enjoyed the pool at Margaritaville, there was one little mishap that can't go unreported. About two hours after we got there, a woman showed up with five screaming brats in tow, the oldest probably eleven years old. Yep, Parent of the Year brought her kids to the bar. So of course they started screaming and splashing around in the pool, pissing off everyone else and generally making a nuisance of themselves. It went on for about a half an hour or so, and just about the time people were fed up enough to complain, they all hastily exited the pool and disappeared. Not a minute later, a couple of maintenance guys came over, looked at the water, and shook their heads. About a minute later, an announcement came over the PA system that the pool was closed immediately and everyone must get out of the water.

Yep, one of those f*cking brats dropped a deuce in the pool.

Again, I'm not making this up.

So the pool was closed for an hour and a half while they skimmed it, shocked it with chemicals, and scrubbed the area down where the kids were playing. Some tourists, however, were oblivious, and still jumped in, and folks sitting around the edge got a kick out of watching the reaction when they were told Hey, the pool's closed, some kid took a dump in it...

Eventually, we grew tired of the crowd, the prices, and the polluted pool, and headed back to the ship. And although we had a good time, we agreed that Grand Turk is not a place we'd come back to voluntarily. Too much of a 'company town', designed from the ground up for no other purpose than to empty the wallets of American tourists.

The next day, the last full day of the cruise, found us in The Bahamas. Again, not a place we wanted to go, but Mother Nature and the Captain insisted. Of course, sailing in, we saw that there were already four other cruise ships in port, and the Miracle would make it five. Having been there a time or two before, I knew it would be crowded as hell, so I decided to just stay on the ship for the day. Everyone else got off to explore, but I hung out on the aft deck and had the adult pool all to myself for most of the afternoon.

The approach to Nassau harbor, as seen from my balcony.

Once we tied up at the dock, I had a pretty nice view from the stateroom.

Wondering if they need a roommate...

After The Bahamas, it was just a quick hop, skip, and jump back to Ft. Lauderdale. But I'm not finished quite yet. Let's talk about the subject everyone has been waiting for.

Food & Drink

Some folks believe that the food is best reason to take a cruise, but I'm not one of them. Some other folks believe that drinking booze will double the cost of your cruise, and I firmly believe that. First of all, the food in the buffet was below-average, I thought, but then again, I'm not a fan of buffets at all.

Breakfast, which you shouldn't screw up, was pretty much always screwed up. The grits were runny, scrambled eggs, well, we weren't too sure if they were real. And the bacon was a source of contention for many people--even though they offered it every morning, it was that cheapo thin stuff, and the serving station had a bacon nazi serving it out. Apparently some previous cruisers had ruined it for the rest of us... The biscuits and gravy were just plain bad, but the French toast and pancakes seemed ok.

On the other hand, their fresh fruit selection was wonderful, and the baked goods were pretty good too. So if you didn't want to eat the typical buffet stuff, you could have a fairly decent breakfast. My biggest complaint was the coffee. If you got there too early in the morning, the coffee was absolutely horrid, like it'd been sitting in the machine all night. Later on, when the crowds were there, the coffee was fine. Usually, I stuck with apple juice, and then after breakfast I went to visit my Ukrainian girlfriend who was a barista at the coffee-house booth in the back of the restaurant. Yeah, there was a fee involved, but I loved the coconut lattes. I got one every morning while flirting with the girl from Odessa.

I had hoped to get a made-to-order omelet once or twice, but no matter what time in the morning you got there, there was always a line. And with only one omelet station, it just wasn't worth the wait. My usual breakfast was fruit, some sort of muffin, juice, and an occasional foray to the buffet line to see if there was anything intriguing. Usually, there wasn't.

There was also free room service available, if you wanted continental breakfast delivered to your stateroom, which everyone took advantage of, if only for a pot of coffee to enjoy while sitting out on the balcony and gazing upon the early morning sun and sea.

Sunrise at sea, as seen from my balcony.

On the first sea day, I was tired of being out at the pool, and not wanting to fight the crowds in the restaurant, so I just headed back to the cabin for lunch. I ordered a roast beef on baguette and a fruit plate. It looked so good that I just had to get a picture:

Room service is always nice, but lunch in the buffet was still fairly good. I thought it was miles ahead of breakfast, with a few notable exceptions. They had a pretty good Asian station, and an Italian station that was popular. The grilled sandwich station always had a line, but I hit it once during the cruise. I didn't like it much--even though the sandwiches were grilled panini-style, the cheese was never melted and the meat was always cold in the middle. So after my first visit, I never went back. However, I really liked the do-it-yourself cold-cuts and the endless array of cold salads and pasta. There was some to-die-for Vietnamese glass noodles with veggies that I ate almost every day.

Of course, there was also the 24-hour pizzaria, and it was really good if you got a fresh one. Sometimes, the slices were the re-heated premade ones, and they were pretty pedestrian. Nope, it didn't compare to Grimaldi's, but it sure beat the hell out of the chain stuff. It was a pretty popular stop for lunch and late-night snacking. They also had the outdoor grill in the middle area of the Lido deck by the main pool, offering hot dogs and hamburgers all afternoon each day, but again, that was a stop I never made.

Dinner in the dining room was the highlight meal of the day, and it was obvious that it was the meal they put the most effort into. I was surprised at how good the food was in the dining room each night, and there was always a great variety of things to choose from on the menu. They had grilled mahi-mahi every night, which I had a few times, and also, some of their vegetarian offerings (I know, blasphemy!) were extremely good. I think one of the best things I had in the dining room was prime rib, believe it or not. Yep, they knocked it out of the park with that one, and it was a huge hit with everyone in our group.

They offered steak, and shrimp cocktail every night, just in case anything on the main menu didn't suit your fancy, but I always found something I liked. I remember having a decent chateaubriand one night, and as usual, the dining room lobster was always overcooked. On the other hand, the pasta was always excellent, as were most beef and chicken dishes.

As far as desserts go, I indulged a few times. Everyone raved about the chocolate melting cake, which was pretty good, but I think it's more of a chick thing--a little cup of hormonal-activation love. I swear, it's the closest thing to a working aphrodesiac that I've ever seen. Too bad I was dining with all my sisters... They also offered a few standard things, cheesecake, tiramisu, and the like, and every night they also offered ice cream and an assortment of other cakes and such. Still, the chocolate melting cake was the crowd favorite, even though it was sometimes tough to keep it on the spoon, especially after a few glasses of wine:

As much as I enjoy having dinner in the dining room, I do have one serious gripe with Carnival Cruise Lines. I know they're supposed to be the 'Fun Ships' and all, but seriously, do the waiters need to sing and dance every frickin' night in the middle of dinner service? Imagine the staff at TGI Friday's breaking into that annoying birthday song every night, and then multiply it by a hundred. It's annoying as hell, and it detracts from an otherwise nice meal. I really hate it.

That little pet peeve aside, I really enjoyed getting together in the dining room every night with my brothers and sisters. It was a fun family meal in a nice setting, and we always had a nice time lingering over a good meal. And we always do the latest seating for dinner--no kids in the dining room, which makes the evening even more enjoyable.

Even better than the dining room was having dinner in the steakhouse. On the third night of the cruise, Steve, Sherry, Reverend Dave, and I had a really nice dinner in the reservations-only supper club steakhouse. It was off-the-charts fantastic. And you couldn't beat the price, either--for only $30 per person, you got a great meal in a nice restaurant, that would easily be $100+ per person if it were out in Vegas.

I had French onion soup and crab cakes to start my meal, while Reverend Dave had escargot and some amazing beef carpaccio. He got the porterhouse, while I went with the 18 oz ribeye. For sides, I had a loaded baked potato and sauteed wild mushrooms, which were easily the best I've ever had. How's about a few pictures, eh?

This was that amazing beef carpaccio that Reverend Dave raved about. It was raw prime beef, covered in a crouton, mache lettuce, and shaved parmesan. Drizzled with a little olive oil and cracked pepper, it was wonderful. If you're having a hard time believing me, just think of it as beef sushi.

My Maryland crab cake--one of the better versions I've had. Plenty of sweet lump crab meat, no shells or sand, and an only-slightly spicy sauce that complemented it perfectly.

This is what a 28 oz porterhouse looks like, in case there was any doubt.

Not to be outdone, here is my 18 oz. ribeye, which I think is even better than the porterhouse.

One can't forget about dessert, either, and they had us covered. I had a slice of cheesecake. Now, normally, I'm not a huge fan of it, but this one sounded pretty good, so I ordered it. Of course, it looked HUGE when they brought it out, but what I learned was that they whipped up the batter and got a lot of air into it, so it was a tall slice, but it wasn't brick-heavy like your typical restaurant cheesecake. It had a nice, lighter consistency, kinda like a thick mousse. I really liked it a lot.

If you notice in the background, Reverend Dave had some sort of 'chocolate sampler', which he really liked, too. In fact, it was such a nice meal that we decided to do it all again, and before we left the restaurant that night, we made reservations for the last night of the cruise--all four of us, plus Mom and Mary. I didn't take any pictures on the second visit, but I had the ribeye again, and also had my own beef carpaccio. And I also had the chocolate sampler for dessert. It was damn good, as expected.

As far as wine at dinner went, I didn't bring any of my own wine aboard. I'm glad I didn't, either. Carnival seems to be cracking down on it. The new rule seems to be that you can have one bottle in each carry-on, and that goes right through, no problem. But if you've stashed some in your luggage that you check with the porters upon embarkation, well, you're screwed. They x-ray each piece and if they see any bottles, the suitcase goes to the security office down on the lower deck and you get a note on your stateroom door saying that you have to go down there and claim it. But first, you have to open said suitcase in front of a security officer, and if there is any booze in it, they confiscate it, and won't let you have it again until the last night of the cruise.

That happened to both Sherry and Gaines. On the other hand, if you had a bunch of carry-on luggage, anything you brought (as long as it was just one bottle per bag), got right through the security checkpoint, no problem at all. I guess I could've brought four bottles since I had to drag all my damn luggage aboard with me... Still, they'll charge a corkage fee of ten bucks per bottle also, unless you open it yourself before you get to the dining room. More hoops, not worth the effort to me, but some folks went through all kinds of contortions to bring their drinkables onboard.

I was going to just say farkit and spring for a couple of bottles in the dining room, as I researched their offerings beforehand and saw that their more expensive stuff didn't really have that high of a markup. And then, less than an hour after we boarded, Amy, Scottie, Reverend Dave, Gaines, and I were sitting in the lobby sipping on our first drinks of the trip, when a waitress came around offering pre-paid wine packages.

I was intrigued, and ended up getting five bottles of their premium wines in advance, and in doing so, I saved $55 off of the cost of buying them individually throughout the week. Eight nights, five bottles, not too shabby. Of course, I shared with some of my dinner companions, but it was totally worth the expense (I think it cost $175 or so).

I got a nice bottle of white (Pouilly Fuisse) on the first night to eat with my seafood dishes, and the next night picked up a good merlot, but the best was during our first visit to the steakhouse, I got an absolutely fantastic bottle of Sebastiani Cabernet. It was some of the best wine I'd ever had, and I ended up using the last three of my choices on it. I think I even bought an extra one on the last night of the trip to share with Sherry and David while we were in the steakhouse. Even Mamasan, who doesn't drink red wine, had a small sample and said she liked it. (In fact, that reminds me--later today, once the liquor store opens, I'm going to go down and pick up a couple of bottles to keep here at the house. I've become a firm believer in the health benefits of red wine!)

Anyways, the pre-paid wine card was the way to go, at least for me. They had different pricing options, and I think the lowest priced wines were like $90 for five bottles, but then, you only saved about twenty bucks, and well, you weren't drinking the top-shelf stuff, either. Regardless, I thought it was a good deal, and I recommend it if you like to have wine with your meals.

As far as the rest of the booze goes, well, I was a little disappointed in the prices. It was *expensive*. Granted, I hadn't been on a cruise in six years, so yeah, there was some inflation, but still... I remember back in my previous cruises, all of those random sail-n-sign receipts I had floating around at the end of the week, almost all of them for about $6.75 per cocktail. Well, on this trip, most of them were eight or nine bucks. Beer was a relative bargain at $5.50 (loved the Amstel Light), but those fruity umbrella drinks really added up. Not so say that we didn't indulge...

About two minutes after Reverend Dave and I found Amy and Scottie during our first hour onboard, this landed in front of me.

Instead of fighting the crowds up in the buffet at embarkation, this is how my crew spent their first afternoon of the cruise. We had orange slices for lunch.

At the end of the week, the total charges on my sail-n-sign account were in the neighborhood of $650. And yeah, most of that was wine and drinks-of-the-day. Oh, I lifted a few diet Cokes from the mini-bar, and bought drinks for other people throughout the week, too, so that contributed greatly to the total. Those coconut lattes added up, too. I know I drank more than I should have, because a couple of nights I was feeling kinda crappy and went to bed early. Still, it didn't stop me from having a good time.

Straight from the it-sounded-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time department, apple mojitos.

I think that pretty much covers it, don't you? Overall, it was a fantastic vacation, exactly what I needed. A few final thoughts:

Gotta go with a balcony from now on. Nothing better than watching that ocean roll by each day. Besides, all that time we spent out there kept us out of the casino.
The meals got better as the day wore on. Breakfast was weak, lunch was better, dinner was pretty damn good.
A favorite spot for our group was the sports bar attached to the casino--it seemed to be a natural meeting place.
Love the idea of adults-only areas. I'd pay a premium for a nobody-under-21 cruise if some enterprising business would only offer it.
No cookies. It seems that Carnival has done away with offering cookies with room service and even in the restaurant. Only once during lunch did I ever see any cookies on the dessert station, and they were small and lame. I don't understand this.
Also, they're saving tons of money by not putting bread baskets on the table at dinner. Before the meal service, the assistant waiter comes around with a basket and offers rolls and such, but then that's it--once they're gone, they're gone. Obviously, you can ask for more, but it seems like a small thing that saves them huge amounts of money and time.
I can't praise the bathrooms on this ship highly enough--compared to the ones in the staterooms on previous cruises, these were ten square feet of ultimate luxury.
Dutch islands kick ass. British islands retain their reputation for gouging you.
Still pretty disappointed that Hurricane Tomas jacked up our itinerary. The main reason we chose this particular cruise was because we wanted to go to St. Lucia. Still haven't been.
I know it's a piano bar, but dear sweet jesus, Billy Joel should be outlawed.
Five-and-a-half bucks for a can of diet Coke might seem reasonable at the Ritz-Carlton, but we weren't sailing on the Ritz-Carlton.
Aside from the clusterf*ck at embarkation, and the fact that the scrunt at the Purser's desk refused to give me luggage tags unless I showed a copy of my flight itinerary, service was pretty much excellent all week long. (Went over her head, though, and got my early-departure tags anyways. Heh. Take that, biatch)
Steakhouse. Definitely worth the extra $$$
Shore excursions. Definitely not worth the extra $$$
Due to my medications and jacked-up TSA rules, I didn't buy any duty-free booze while down in the islands. No rum cakes, either.
Still managed to bring back a load of Cuban cigars, though...
I don't get it, and it was never explained, but why are all the channels on the stateroom TVs the local Denver broadcast? I thought it would be Miami stations.
Found the 'map' channel to be oddly fascinating.
With five cruises under my belt, the Carnival Miracle is by far my favorite ship. Loved it.
Already started looking for next year's trip

Comments? Questions? Fire away!

Mikey

One Down, 59 To Go

2010-11-15T14:51:00.001-06:00

I guess I'd forgotten how cold it gets out here in Tennessee. Having enjoyed a couple of months of great weather since I've been back, I feel like I've been spoiled lately. But all that is behind us now--it's cold here. Damn cold. Time to bust out the fleece jacket and my Rams beanie.

Even so, the cold weather won't keep me from doing my almost-daily walking ritual. I'm supposed to walk every day, but sometimes things get in the way and it just doesn't happen. On the other hand, I actually like to do it and one of my motivational tools is a copy of 60 Hikes within 60 Miles of Nashville. I ordered it from Amazon the week I moved here, and that first day of the camping trip, while waiting for the rest of the gang to show up, I sat there under a pine tree reading it, planning all kinds of wonderful adventures in the woods of Tennessee. But just a week later, I was flat on my back in the ICU, with so many tubes and electrodes attached to me that I looked like the a chubby version of the Bionic Man. It didn't look like I'd be doing much of anything anytime soon.

But adventure delayed is not adventure denied, and since I've made a helluva recovery, one of the things I really like to do is wander around in the woods. And one of my many new goals is to do every single one of the hikes in the book. Coincidentally, Hike #1, the Anderson Road Fitness Trail, was the first hike on my agenda. It's out in Antioch, not far from the airport, and since I had to take Cyndi out there this morning to catch her flight to Dallas, I figured I'd brave the cold, the rain, and the fog, and knock out this first trail, too.

It's listed as being 1.3 miles, and an 'easy' hike, which is right up in my comfort zone. It's almost 100% paved, which I don't really care for, but then, you can't get lost, either. But, genius that I am, decided to take a spur trail near the end, thinking it would be a better hike than just walking along a paved road for a quarter mile back to my truck. Turns out, it was just a mountain biking loop to nowhere and it added an extra quarter-mile or so to my walk. No harm no foul, but it kinda pissed me off. First lesson learned--follow the map and the trail guide.

Anyhow, I'm trying to knock out all the easy hikes first--the shorter ones with paved trails or very little elevation changes, or the ones in the local greenbelts and parks, just until I feel like I'm ready to go and tackle some real hikes. As much as I love the trails at Percy Warner, I'm just not ready to go full-on and do six miles up and down those hills. I'm still in the baby-step phase.

Still, this was a good place to start. My own personal journey of a thousand miles began with a few footsteps along Percy Priest Lake, a couple of raindrops, and a brisk 43 degrees. At least I remembered to bring my camera. (Clicky for full-sized goodness)

First view of the lake through the trees at the beginning of the trailhead. The guidebook said to absolutely *not* take the gravel path to the left, which made me question what they were hiding. But it was just an 'unofficial' trail, so I stayed on the paved path. At least at first.

It was definitely an easy walking trail as it curved along the lake. I always use my hiking stick, so I prefer to walk along the edge, keeping the stick moving in the grass and dirt, so I don't sound like a peg-legged pirate when I walk.

After about a third of a mile, there was a wooden bench just off the trail at the high-water mark. The guidebook calls it a 'contemplation spot', but to me it just seems like a good spot to rest and take a photo or two. I don't think I did much contemplating.

After meandering along the edge of the lake for awhile, the pathway kind of heads slightly uphill, away from the water and deeper into the woods.

About two-thirds of a mile down the path, just a few feet off the trail, were the remnants of an old well from an early homestead, likely back in the late 1800s. The woods have reclaimed all other evidence of the cabin and such.

Not far beyond the well, there's a marker letting you know that you've walked a mile. By then, my nose was freezing cold, but my head had steam coming off of it, like those players in the footage on those old NFL Films highlights.

After 1.1 miles, the boulders mark the end of the trail at the park service road. You can either turn back and do the trail in reverse, or just walk down the road a quarter mile to the parking lot.

Or, you could take this obvious spur trail off to the side that certainly must take you back to the parking lot.

See, this is what a hiking trail is supposed to look like!

Unfortunately, the little spur trail didn't do anything but circle around in the woods for a bit, bringing me back to the row of boulders at the edge of the road after about ten minutes. So I got a little extra-credit hiking done.

And now that I know I won't melt in the rain or the fog, I'll probably do another hike tomorrow. I haven't decided if I'm going to walk the greenbelt up at Concorde Park up in Brentwood (meh...), or maybe head south and explore some trails along the Duck River. Or if the weather is too uncooperative, I may just take the dogs on a walk around the neighborhood. Believe me, getting dragged around the subdivision by a basset hound with a short attention span is a pretty good workout all on it's own.

Mikey

Everything But the Keyboard

2010-11-15T08:59:00.000-06:00

Hey gang--I know y'all are patiently waiting for a cruise post, complete with lots of pictures and funny stories, and I *promise* that it's coming. Just not immediately. Yeah, I've been working on it for quite some time, and I'd hoped to have it up first thing this morning, but it just didn't happen.

First of all, the first draft is still unfinished. Second of all, what I've got so far still needs a bit of editing. And third of all, I've been away from the keyboard for several days now. I just haven't had a lot of quality time with the computer for awhile.

It started on Thursday, when I went up to Vanderbilt for my weekly jab at the clinic. Once I got out of there, I ended up spending the entire afternoon over at Amy's house, then did a Costco run with Tim that evening, and by the time I got home, it was all I could do to stay awake on the couch and watch the Baltimore/Atlanta game.

On Friday, I got up pretty early and drove up to Mamasan's place. Yeah, she lives 68 miles from my current digs down here in Spring Hill, so it's a commitment to go up and visit. I packed a suitcase and stayed the night. We had a nice time, didn't really do too much but hang out, play cards, and do some holiday planning.

When I headed back south on Saturday afternoon, I had just enough time once I got home to take a shower and get myself all purtified before heading back out once again. I ended up going to a party with Cyndi and Tim, and we ended up staying there until almost 2:00 in the morning. It was a helluva good time, almost worth it's own post, but 1) I didn't take my camera, and 2) a lot of things that happened that night should probably just stay in the vault. Besides, I think I picked up a few new readers while I was there, and well, some of that buffoonery should just remain unshared, if ya know what I mean.

Once I finally shuffled out of bed on Sunday morning and got some coffee in me, it was all I could do to read the paper and make my way to the couch for another day of football. Eventually I took a shower and got some decent clothes on, and that afternoon, Tim, Jeff, and I spent a bit of time taking apart the dashboard on Tim's truck, trying to fix his headlight issue. Once we got that taken care of, the womenfolk made it back home, and we had some folks over for dinner.

Cyndi & Tim made a batch of Cincinnati-style Skyline chili, and we had Caesar salad, garlic bread, and four-ways. It was pretty damn good, but even though I know I'm gonna take some shiat for it, I don't think I'm a huge fan of the spices that go in that Skyline sauce. I'm more of a traditional chili type of guy, but then again, that's what I grew up with. Had I spent my formative years in Cincitucky, I'd probably think it's the best thing in the world. Instead, I found it to be more 'interesting' than 'oh my god get me some more of THAT!'

But once we finished our dinner and the company had left, I believe I dozed through Iron Chef and/or the Steelers game before calling it a weekend. And I don't feel like I got much sleep last night, either. My bed is a bit too soft for me, I've found, so I wake up with a sore back every day. Tim offered to pick up a piece of plywood while he's out today, so we'll stiffen it up a bit and I won't need to spend a good chunk of every morning trying to work the kinks out.

Anyhow, now that it's Monday morning, I've still got a lot to do. I'm leaving in a few minutes to take Cyndi to the airport (her job is 100% travel, so she's only home on the weekends), and then I'll probably head over to Percy Priest Lake and walk the Anderson Road fitness trail. It's still kind of cold and nasty out, but I need to get out and do some walking--I haven't done nearly as much as I should this past week, and I'm feeling antsy.

But once I get back, I promise to sit down at the keyboard and get some work done on that cruise report. It should be up very soon. I just hope I haven't built up your expectations too highly.

Until then, I'm outta here!

Mikey

Sorry For the Delay

2010-11-10T09:57:00.002-06:00

I know that I've probably pissed off most of you regulars out there, but I want you all to know that I'm still working on my cruise post. I tried to cut it down to a reasonable length, which I can't seem to do, no matter how honorable my intentions, and also, I'm working fewer photos than I thought I'd have. (Still, I've got over 200 to choose from, but that's not making it any easier).

Anyhow, I'm still pluggin' along, making progress, but the light at the end of the tunnel is still just a mere speck. I worked on it for several hours yesterday, and have no plans at all today except to sit here at the keyboard and keep pounding away.

In the meantime, do me a favor. Click over to Eric's blog and cough up some couch change. He's heading back to Haiti--again--in January on a self-funded medical mission and needs donations to help with supplies and medicine and such. If you've paid any attention to the news, you'll know that it's a very good cause, and every little bit counts. And unlike some of the bigger charities where so much money goes to overhead and salaries and such, all of these donations directly benefit the people in his care. And I, even in the dire straights that I find myself these days, thought it important enough to put my money where my mouth is and found a little extra to send his way. If you look hard enough maybe you can, too. I'd appreciate it, Eric would appreciate it, and the kids in Haiti would definitely appreciate it.

Please help out if you can. Thanks.

Anyhow, I'm going to get back to writing and sorting pictures, so y'all have a great Wednesday and check back soon. I think I've got my second wind and I'm feeling very productive!

Mikey

Patience, Grasshopper

2010-11-07T23:22:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone... Gotta start off by apologizing for my absence these past few days. I'm working on writing up stuff from the cruise, and also sharing some pics, but it seems that nobody I went with is sharing their pictures. I got a few from Cyndi and Tim, and I suppose that if I use some of those with some of mine, it'll get the job done. But I was really hoping Reverend Dave would get his you-know-what in gear and upload some of the thousand-plus pics he took.

And y'all thought *I* was lazy... Heh. Meet the family!

Anyhow, not only am I waiting for some more pictures, but I've also been fairly busy. Friday was a too-cold-to-do anything but hide out under a blanket all day kind of day, and then that night Amy and I went out to Puckett's Grocery down in Franklin to see Scottie's band play. We had a good time, and I really dig the vibe in that place. The food could've been better, but we chalked it up to the kitchen being overwhelmed that night--the place was packed to the gills.

On Saturday, I gathered up all my clothes and books and whatever else I had there at Amy's house and moved back down to Spring Hill. Yep, I'm healthy enough to live in a house with stairs now, so it was time to move on. My recovery is coming along nicely, and the hard part is behind me now. I can start acting like a normal person once again (I even got the classified ads from the paper on Sunday morning so I can start looking for a part-time job).

The bummer of it is, no more pugs keeping me entertained all day long, but on the other hand, there's a house full of animals here, too. First of all, there's Jake, a typical man's-best-friend dog--just great to have around and lots of fun to play with. And he's mellow as hell, too.

... And then there's Nelson. He's a very sweet and happy-go-lucky hound dog, but he ain't the smartest dog to ever sniff the fire hydrant. On the other hand, he's done pretty well for himself starring in various adult films, IYKWIM...

Rounding out the herd is Major, the smartest cat I've ever seen. I don't have a picture of him right now, but he's one cool customer. He answers to his name, comes when you call him, and loves to sit up on you and be affectionate. He's also a total narc on the other animals when they're doing something they ought not to be, and when he talks, he's like Lassie--you always know exactly what he's saying. I'll get some pictures of him soon, but the bottom line is that Major will turn even the most jaded cat-hater into a cat-lover. Just ask my brother Tim...

Anyhow, I got moved down here on Saturday evening, but we didn't do much but hang out around the house that night. Just loading my truck with a few suitcases and bags took its toll. Today was a football day and there was more of the same--I just laid about on the couch under a blanket. Ever since we got back from the cruise, I've been extremely tired--I got more exercise that week than I had the entire month previous, and I think I wore myself out a little bit. I'm trying to get back into the rhythm of recovery, but man, I'm just pooped. Not only that, but I think my heavy-assed luggage did an encore on me, like that time I accidentally tried to pick up the case of water a few weeks ago. Well, this time, I lifted, carried, and dragged my luggage around, and my ribs feel like I went a few rounds with Mike Tyson. Couple that with all the exertion from the cruise (I'll tell you about the swim to shore and back that damn near did me in), and well, I'm still hurtin' a little.

Hopefully on Monday the sun will be out and I can go out and take a nice long walk--I know that'll make me feel better after all the laziness of the past couple of days. I'll also work on polishing off the details of the cruise, so maybe that'll be up by Tuesday.

Anyhow, that's all for now. I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here, but just kinda runnin' on empty for a couple of days.

Peace out.

Mikey

Back From the Islands

2010-11-03T22:19:00.002-05:00

Wow, has it been eight days already? Talk about time flying when you're having fun... We made it back early on Wednesday afternoon from the sunshine and breeze of the islands, to the drizzle and chill of Nashville. But even though the weather sucked, it was nice to be home.

Long story short--I had an absolute blast, as expected. Also, we ran into Hurricane Tomas in our travels, and our itinerary got changed in mid-stream. So no, we never made it to St. Lucia. And even though we actually made it into the harbor in St. Kitts, it was so windy and choppy that the captain gave up on docking the ship after a couple of failed attempts. So we didn't go there, officially, either, although we got tantalizingly close. Instead we high-tailed it back north, out of the hurricane's path, and spent the last two days of the cruise at Grand Turk and Nassau. (Never been to the Turks & Caicos before, been to the Bahamas several times). It was kind of a bummer at first, but we still had a lot of fun.

Once we got finally got back to the house, we realized how exhausted we were. We dragged all the luggage in, played with the puglets, and ordered some pizza. Then everyone spent the rest of the afternoon dozing... And even though I had a four-hour nap, I'm still pretty tired. I got more exercise and pushed myself much further in the past week than I thought I could. It was good for me, but man, it took it's toll. I didn't 'overdo it' so much as I just stretched the envelope as far as what I had the strength to do. But that was a good thing--I feel 1000% better now than I did when I left. Almost back to 'normal'. All that fresh fruit, exercise, sunshine, and tropical breeze is not only good for the soul, but pretty damn good for the body, too!

Anyhow, I'll write up a more detailed post later, probably starting on it Thursday (pray for more rain, reclickers--that'll keep me indoors!), with a bunch more pictures. But in the meantime, here's a little taste for you. (Clicky for full-sized goodness)

Sunrise at sea, as seen from my balcony

St. Maarten, first thing in the morning

Our ship, the Carnival Miracle, and the Holland America Eurodam, sharing a dock in Grand Turk. Frankly, I'm surprised that this picture turned out so well because I was two orders of magnitude beyond f*cked up when I snapped this photo.

More soon...

Mikey

Taking My Talents to South Beach

2010-10-25T10:25:00.000-05:00

Here I sit, impatiently waiting for the hour-hand to make two more orbits. Yep, just 24 hours from now, we'll be on the plane, likely making our initial approach to the airport down there in Florida.

No, we're not actually flying into Miami, but just up the road a bit to Ft. Lauderdale. And once we arrive and the luggage is gathered up, then it's a quick taxi ride over to the cruise port to do the check-in shuffle, and before long we'll be onboard the ship, trying to avoid the photographers who treat every passenger like Brangelina. Seriously, that's by far my least favorite part of cruising--the ship's paparazzi. (Well, that, and the lifeboat drill).

But I'm not gonna worry about that at all. I'm sooooo looking forward to this trip that this last day of preparation makes me feel like a kid on Christmas Eve. I won't be able to sleep tonight, and oh yeah, I'll be up very early tomorrow morning. (We have to be at the airport by like 6:30). I'm not completely finished packing just yet, but that'll be taken care of later this afternoon. Once I finish off this post, I've got to head back down to the clinic at Vanderbilt and get stabbed one last time, then it's back to the house to do my last load of laundry. (I don't have but a small percentage of my wardrobe here at the house, the rest are either in storage or down at Cyndi's place, so I have to pack pretty much everything I have here in order to have eight day's worth of clean clothes).

I started packing last night--mostly the nicer stuff that needs to be hung up. The t-shirts, swim trunks, shorts, and skivvies will go in the suitcase later today. Once that's done, I'll worry about my carry-on stuff and check to make sure I have my passport and ship's boarding pass at least two dozen times before we leave.

As far as sneaking the booze on board, I think I'm not even gonna bother. They let you bring one bottle of wine on anyways, but then you've got to pay a $10 corkage fee in the dining room. (Unless you uncork it yourself in your cabin first, I'm told. But then I'd have to bring a corkscrew, and that's just jumping through too many damn hoops just to be cheap. And I'm not like that). I can't really drink the hard stuff right now, except in very small quantities, so trying to smuggle a couple of bottles of booze on board just isn't worth the effort to me. I'd rather just pay for my rum (sodomy and the lash, however, is complementary, so I've heard).

I'll have a few fruity drinks each day, and some wine with dinner, but that's about it. Besides, the prices for wine onboard really ain't that bad, especially if you're buying the good stuff. Waaaay less markup than at restaurants, unless you're buying that god-awful Beringer white zin. (I think it's like $6.99 at Kroger, but thirty bucks on the ship). The more expensive wine, believe it or not, is a much better deal. So I'll probably buy a bottle of white and a bottle of red for the dining room to have with dinner, so the damage will be minimal. And the extra expense is fine with me to avoid the effort and hassle of trying to get around their alcohol policy, anyways.

I may have mentioned it before (too lazy to go look), but I think we have the perfect itinerary--two full sea days (my favorite), followed by three island days, and then two more sea days before returning home. And this cruise is eight days, not just seven, and an extra day at sea is just fine with me! And we're chartering a private sailboat while we're in St. Martin, which I can't wait for--I haven't been sailing in far too long, so I plan on enjoying every minute of it.

We've got a 40-foot catamaran reserved, and I think we have it for seven hours. Our plan is to spend the day sailing and snorkeling at a couple of different secluded spots and then hit some small offshore island that has a tiki bar on the beach. Oh, and as a bonus, our charter includes and open bar and lunch, and word around the campfire is that our charter captain is also a retired chef. Everyone is looking forward to this excursion...

I don't have anything planned while we're in St. Kitts, maybe just a beach day. In St. Lucia, Sherry, Steve, and I are getting single-day passes to the Sandals Grande resort. Oh hell yeah--full run of their facilities, including all the water toys (plus all the food and booze you want). I'd like to go see the Pitons or do some exploring, but everything worth seeing is an hour-and-a-half bus ride from where the ship is docked. F*ck that. I'd rather just chill in a hammock all day at this place:

Ain't no way I'm gonna spend three hours of my day riding a bus with a bunch of tourists...

Anyhow, that's all I've got. I'm just gonna do all my last-minute packing and stuff, then try to get some sleep before we pull the ripcord and make our escape first thing tomorrow morning. I won't have my phone or computer with me, so there will be no updates, nor will I be able to moderate any comments after tomorrow morning. This website will officially be in limbo for the next nine or ten days.

But when I get back--oh yeah, lots of pictures and stories. Until then, y'all enjoy your cubes. I'm heading to the islands!

Mikey

It's The Final Countdown!

2010-10-22T10:41:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm ready to get me some Caribbean vacation on!

No More Doctors!

2010-10-22T09:48:00.000-05:00

At least for three months...

Yep, I'm free of hospitals and doctor's offices for awhile. My surgeon didn't feel the need to schedule a follow-up appointment when I met with him on Tuesday, and I met with my new primary-care doctor yesterday, and he was rather impressed with my recovery.

After giving me the look-over and checking all my particulars, he scheduled me for another lab test just to check my blood sugars and such. He seems to think that the endocrinologists at Vanderbilt were a little too strident with the whole diabetes thing, and once he gets my lab work back, he said he'll likely cut that blood-sugar medicine dosage way back with an eye to eliminating it altogether. I brought in my notebook where I've written down absolutely everything I've eaten and drunk since I got out of the hospital (which also includes tracking my weight loss), and he seems to think that I'm 'wiping out any risk' I had of diabetes with my new diet and regular exercise. And two inches off of my waist in the last month helps, too.

Anyhow, the plan is that once he gets the results back, he'll mail me some instructions and then I don't have to go back and see him again until the end of January. Woot!

Oh, I still have to go to the Coumadin clinic every week to make sure my blood doesn't get too thick or too thin, but that doesn't bother me at all--it's quick, easy, and almost painless (I'm fairly immune to needles at this point). It' pretty well balanced out now, and I've been right where I should be these past couple of weeks. And I've got my visits scheduled around the cruise, too. I go in again on Monday, then I don't have to go back again until the Thursday after we get back. On the other hand, I still have to take a ziplock bag full of drugs with me on vacation. I imagine I'll muddle through, somehow...

Anyhow, it's another nice weight to have off of my shoulders as I head into this long-awaited vacation. Can you believe it's been six long years since I went on a cruise? That whole Vegas experience kept me from enjoying all of my weekends, holidays, and all family vacations. I can't believe I put up with that shiat for so long. What was I thinking? I think that when all is said and done, I'm going to look back on that whole Vegas experience like I do when I think of my time in Alaska--I'm glad I did it, and it was a hell of a time, but I'll never do it again.

But that's behind me now. Today I'm doing more vacation-prep, and right now I'm in laundry and packing mode. Everything that gets hung up goes in the garment bag tonight. I'll pack the foldables on Monday night. But once my morning chores are done, I'm gonna motor over to the east side of town and meet Sherry for lunch, then we're going to get manicures and pedicures done. Gotta look well-groomed if I'm going to be out wandering the deck with flip-flops on. Plus, as I mentioned before, the ladies like it when your nails look good. Don't know why, but it's a chick thing.

After all that, it's back to the house for a relaxing Friday night, maybe videos and Chinese take-out. Tomorrow is the bon voyage party, and then I have no idea what else is going on until we head to the airport first thing on Tuesday morning. I'll be leaving my laptop and phone here at the house, turned off and unplugged. I'm going off the grid for eight wonderful days! I'm sure all my iPhone addicted relatives will be bringing theirs because they can't function without them, but not me, the only phone call I want to get next week is the one waking me up telling me to get out of bed because we've just docked in St. Martin. (Did I mention that we've charted a sailboat for the day there???)

Until next time...

Mikey

Just Another Day In Tennessee

2010-10-21T14:36:00.000-05:00

I guess it's better than painting Free Candy! on the side...

Mikey

Running Out of Things To Do

2010-10-21T09:23:00.001-05:00

Howdy gang! I've got a few minutes to enjoy this brisk fall morning with my coffee, so I thought I'd take a break from watching the puglets unsuccessfully chase the squirrels in the back yard and check in with all of you re-clickers.

Just in case you're wondering, I'm doing pretty well. After my visit to the doc the other day, I've been in a damn fine mood, feeling almost normal again. I've got another appointment in a couple of hours over at the ghettofabulous walk-in clinic, which I'm not really looking forward to, but hey, gotta do what I gotta do.

I've been spending my week trying to come up with stuff to do to prepare for this trip next week, and I think I've run out of ideas. Back in the day when I was working right up until the day I left for the Caribbean, it felt like I didn't have enough time to get things done and I always left with that nagging feeling that I'd forgotten something. No chance of that now--I've been preparing so much that I'm damn near to the point of making up stuff to do.

I made my last purchases at Wallyworld yesterday, the main thing being wire clothes hangers. All I have are those big plastic hangers, but those just won't do in my garment bag. I've got about eight shirts, four or five pairs of pants, and a sport jacket that I need to go on hangers, and I've gotta have wire hangers to get them all in the suitcase. Other than that, I picked up a few random items like moist towelettes and a small spray bottle, and now I'm pretty sure that I'm all set. All I have left to do is pick up the clothes from the dry cleaner tomorrow and pack my bags. Oh, and tomorrow I'm going with Sherry to get a manicure and pedicure too.

After that, it's the weekend. I know, weekends don't matter much to me, but everyone else will be around goofing off, too. Reverend Dave is coming up on Saturday, and then that evening we're having a bonfire/Bon Voyage party here at Amy's house. We've got a group of eleven people going--Sherry & Steve, Cyndi & Tim, Amy & Scottie, Gaines, Reverend Dave, and me, then Mamasan and her friend Mary. The cool thing is that ten of us are all on the same flight out of Nashville (Reverend Dave is flying out of Huntsville since he has to work on Monday back down in Sweet Home). That should be a good time...

Anyhow, the party is obviously Caribbean-themed, and everyone is supposed to bring a dish. So far, all I know is that Amy is making coconut chicken, and Mamasan is bringing the black bean & pineapple dip. Other than that, I have no idea what we're having besides pina coladas. I just hope it's not too cold that night, although a big bonfire and some tiki torches will take the chill off. Even if it is cold on Saturday, I don't care, because next week it'll be nothing but sunshine and sea breeze. I may even come back with a tan!

So besides cruise prep, I've not had a whole lot of really interesting things going on. Now that I can drive again, I feel like a guy just let out of jail--I can go do anything I want! Of course, I don't really have much disposable income, and everyone I know works during the day, so there ain't much I can do. However, I spent damn near all day yesterday running errands.

I left the house around 10:00 o'clock in the morning and drove up to Madison to hit the Casual Male store. I needed to pick up some more underwear, and figured that maybe I'd get a new Hawaiian shirt or something, too. Unfortunately, all they had was winter clothes. So I got my underwear, and then picked up a bathrobe and some long flannel pajama bottoms (it's cold in this house in the morning!). But the purpose of the robe was two-fold; 1) I don't have one, and need one anyways, and 2) I'm going to use it for my Halloween costume.

We'll be on the ship over Halloween, and of course there is a costume party that night. We've been going around in circles for months trying to decide what to wear that night, and I've decided to go as Hef. I got the robe and pj bottoms, and instead of a heavy set of slippers that I'll likely never wear again, I'll just wear flip-flops. Plus I have a pipe, and today while I'm out I'm going over to Party City to pick up a gray comb-over wig. I've also got some of those office-style nametags, the ones that say 'Hello, my name is...' and I'll just write HEF on one and stick it to my robe. I may roll up a Playboy and shove it in one of the pockets, and as a brilliant stroke of genius, I'm also going to pick up a few pink bunny ears at the party store to carry with me.

I can guarantee that I'll have and entourage of gals following me around at the party--and no, I don't mean my sisters, either. Yep, it's gonna be a good time. I'll be sure to take lots of pictures, too, because I know how you people get...

After getting my clothes/costume, Scottie called and asked if I wanted to meet up with him and Amy for lunch, so I hauled myself down to West End, down by Centennial Park, and we ate at Bombay Palace. I can't remember ever having Indian food before, and it was pretty good. They set it up as a small buffet, and I think I had a small sample of everything except one dish that had goat as the main ingredient. Anyhow, the naan bread and the spicy dishes were really good, but they had this tomato chutney stuff that was amazing. I could've made a meal out of that and the naan bread all by itself. Good stuff, although it felt like everything they offered was spicy. I wish I could've remembered the names of stuff we ate, because some of it was really tasty. Scottie has lunch there about once a week and said that the menu changes every day, so you don't get the same thing every time. I'd gladly go back and try it again though--maybe I didn't have very high expectations, but it was surprisingly good food.

After lunch, it was back over to this side of town to hit Wallyworld and get my prescriptions filled. I did the last of my shopping while waiting, and then finally got home around 2:30 in the afternoon. I sat down to relax for a bit, and of course dozed off in the chair for a half hour or so.

Once I got up from my 'nap', I got busy in the kitchen preparing for dinner. We were having some friends over to grill burgers, and we did those marinated dry-ranch burgers that Amy and Scottie came up with. So I mixed all that meat up and set it to marinating in the fridge, then went out and got the bbq grill set up and ready to go. After an hour or so, I made all the patties and put them on waxed paper, and did all the other prep stuff I could think of to get dinner ready.

Our friends came over around 6:30, and dinner was a hit--we had our grilled cheeseburgers, some baked maple/bacon beans, and some casserole-style mac & cheese. It was damn tasty. Amy also made an apple 'dump cake' and yeah, I had a small piece of that for dessert. Guess that means I'm gonna be doing some extra walking today. I don't care--it was good, and the nutritionist said I can 'cheat' a little when I go on the cruise anyways, as long as I'm doing my exercises. I just told myself that I was getting a head start on my vacation. Heh.

After dinner, we spent an hour or so laughing our asses off watching videos. Did you know that with Tivo you can watch YouTube on your television set? I didn't! Well, because of that, we sat in the den cracking up, looking up our favorite videos. I discovered that there were still four people in this world that had never seen the 'Yatta' video, which somebody sent me long before the days of YouTube. I still have the old movie file somewhere on a hard drive, but now, anyone can see it. For those of you who've never seen it, well, prepare to be shocked. Seriously, it's five minutes of total WTF???? Here ya go:

Oh dear god--just watching the reaction on people's faces who'd never seen it before was absolutely priceless. I had to take a pain pill afterward because I was laughing so hard that it was just killing my chest.

Anyhow, now that you've seen that, here's a little palate cleanser--my new favorite song from Train, called Save Me San Francisco. It's a catchy tune that I heard for the first time yesterday while I was out driving around. It's not really much of a video, but the song is the important part. Enjoy!

Have a great day, y'all!

Mikey

Clean Bill of Health

2010-10-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

Today has been a great day so far!

First of all, I drove myself down to Vanderbilt. This is quite the milestone, as the last time I drove anywhere it was back from the Kroger where I damn near passed out the day before I went in the hospital back in early September. Again--progress.

Anyhow, my follow-up appointment with the doctor who did my surgery was today, and it couldn't have gone better. He was impressed with my recovery so far and told me I looked about a thousand percent better than the last time I saw him. Truth is, I feel about a thousand percent better than the last time I saw him, too.

The good news is that I'm pretty well down the road to recovery, and although not quite 100% just yet, I should be there soon. I'm shooting for 'normal' status around the new year. In the meantime, I've just got to work on getting my strength back and building some endurance. And on the plus side, he cut out about half of my medications, and told me that I can start weaning myself off of painkillers now, too. No more potassium supplements, either. And I'll be especially thankful for not having to take that Lasix stuff anymore either. Having to go pee every half hour or so is a real pain in the ass...

They poked and prodded at me for just a few minutes, examined my scar, asked me a few questions, gave me some prescription refills on the stuff I still have to take, and then told me that I was good to go. No other appointment was made. (Still not out of the woods just yet--got an appointment on Thursday with me new 'primary care' physician, but that won't be much of a hassle). I still have to go to the Coumadin clinic every week and get my blood tested, and I'll be on that stuff for six months, but that's actually not too tough. Now I know that the doctor wants me to go to cardiac rehab therapy, (basically supervised exercise where they monitor your vitals the whole time), but the one he referred me to is $186 per session, and the standard 'recovery package' is 36 sessions. That ain't gonna happen...

In the meantime I'm just gonna keep on walking, and maybe invest in some lightweight dumbells to help build back up the strength.

Anyhow, just having the folks who put me back together telling me that I'm doing well, well, that just improved my outlook immeasurably. Sitting around the house wondering if life will ever be normal again is a tough thing to chew on day after day.

So once I escaped from Vanderbilt, I felt like a free man once again. I could drive--I could go anywhere I wanted to! So what did I do? I came back to the house. I rested a bit, then gathered up all the stuff that had to go to the cleaners, some outgoing mail, and off I went to run errands. I also went to the grocery store, but didn't pick up but a few random things.

When all that was done, of course I was exhausted. I came home and dozed in the easy chair for a bit, but then got up and fixed some lunch. I think I'm done exerting myself for the rest of the day, but tomorrow I'm going to go on a real hike--I'm going to do one of the longer trails over at the park. I still may go out and do a walk this evening, depending on how I feel. And whenever Sherry's next day off is, I'm gonna drive over there and do another trail I saw that's near her house. (She said she'd walk with me). Gotta get in shape for this cruise--that ship is over 900 feet long, and just getting off the dock is a hike.

I wish I had more to share, but that's all the news from here today. But it's good enough for me.

Mikey

Quietly Getting Back To Normal

2010-10-18T23:25:00.005-05:00

Hey gang--hope everyone had a good weekend and a lovely Monday at work. Me? I had the good weekend...

I took off on Thursday to stay up at Mamasan's place, and we had a pretty nice visit. It's always relaxing to hang out up there--We don't do much but play cards and such (I mean, I never watch tv or anything when I'm up there, I just chill), and it was a nice getaway. On Friday, we took a nice long drive in the country, mostly just looking at all the brilliant fall colors. Oh man, there are lots of beautiful trees in middle Tennessee, and we spent most of the day searching them out. I tried to take a few pictures, but all those back roads have power lines which kept screwing up the photos, so I gave up. Also, I didn't have hiking shoes on, either, so I didn't want to go traipsing around in the underbrush to get a better shot. Still, it was pretty cool.

We stopped at a produce stand in Ridgetop, the town we lived in when I was just a pup, and got a few things. Mamasan got some really nice potted flowers for her porch and her deck, and we also bought some fresh tomatoes and some of the best-looking green beans I'd ever seen. Having eaten nasty overcooked canned green beans twice a day in the hospital, I'd given up on them, but these looked so good sitting there in the crate that we bought a couple of handfuls. I think we also got a homemade coconut cake, and I picked up a Mason jar of home-made blueberry preserves, too (Had the preserves on toast for breakfast yesterday morning. Oh hell yeah, they were damn good!).

After that, we drove by the old house waaaaay out in the woods, then made our way down the back roads to Goodlettsville, just like we used to do when I was about ten years old. Eventually, we got on one of the back road Tennessee highways and found our way back to Mamasan's place. I was absolutely worn out after that, so I took a nice long nap.

I woke up to a wonderful dinner, though. Mamasan had made some of her famous pork chops, a salad chocked full of all kinds of good veggies, baked potatoes, and those farm-fresh green beans. Man, they were great--I ate two large helpings of them, ruining me for life. I won't be able to eat normal frozen or canned beans ever again... Oh well.

On Saturday morning, she dropped me off down by Titans stadium where Sherry met me. We drove out east towards her place, but first we had a nice leisurely breakfast together at Cracker Barrel. First pancake I've eaten in months, and it was pretty damn good. I also went with turkey sausage, and it was surprisingly unsucky (they also tried to feed me turkey sausage EVERY morning in the hospital, and it was awful!--the Cracker Barrel version was much better).

After breakfast, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up some picnic items, then we went back to Sherry's house for the rest of the day. We spent the entire afternoon looking through photo albums of all of her past cruises (she's been on twelve of them now!) as we anticipated our upcoming trip. We've got the fever, and this last week is gonna be tough--y'all think I had it bad waiting for a Vegas trip back in the day, well, I look forward to the cruises even more!

Anyhow, after looking through all the pictures and planning our sailing charter in St. Martin, her husband Steve came home and we got ready to head out for the evening. Our plan was to go out and enjoy the offerings at Arrington Vineyards. So we packed a picnic basket and some shopping bags, loaded up a folding table and some camp chairs in the back of Steve's truck, and headed down south. Amy and Scottie were planning to meet us there later and make a party of it, too.

So I didn't know quite what to expect. Hell, I had no idea that they made wine in Tennessee. I thought all we had was Yazoo Beer and Jack Daniels. But this place was amazing. It's pretty far off the beaten path, up on a beautiful hill overlooking other beautiful hills, surrounded by forest and streams. And when we got there, we were shocked to see about seven or eight hundred other people there already, and people directing traffic and such.

I guess it's not exactly a secret.

So we unloaded all of our gear from the truck, and then we were faced with a dilemma. Sherry thought there was absolutely no way I'd be able to climb the hill up to the main part of the vineyard--believe me, it's a long and steep mutha. I was willing to give it a try, but just then one of them shuttle-service stretched golf carts showed up, and we piled everything in it and they drove us up the hill.

All of the picnic tables were taken by then, but we found a relatively flat area and set up our camp. They grow grapes all over the property, but the main tasting house and store are at the top of the hill, kind of like the headquarters of the place. There is also a big covered patio for dining, a concrete area with a stage and several more tables off to the side, and then on the other side of the tasting house, there is a huge fire pit for bonfires. The rest of the property is expansive green space with random picnic tables and swings for people to just come out and enjoy.

And the people come out by the hundreds to enjoy it. Yeah, there was a band over by the tasting house, but there was only room for about a hundred people over there, but there were families and small groups of friends scattered all over having picnics and just relaxing in the last bit of warmth from a sunny autumn day. Seriously, the place looked just like you'd expect to see in a wine commercial.

Amy and Scottie showed up a bit later, and we stopped in the little store to get some of the wine. We each bought a bottle, and while some of it was good, some of it was, well, Tennessee wine. Not Napa or Bordeaux or anything like that. I'd say two of the bottles were good, the other ones, not so much. But the atmosphere was absolutely top notch.

So we sat at our picnic table enjoying cheese, crackers, fruit, summer sausage, fresh bread, etc., sipping on our wine and just marveling at how nice it was to be out there. Oh, we're definitely gonna do it again. Once the sun went down, it got pretty dark out and most of the crowds started heading home. We never got to do a wine tasting--the waiting list was much too long--but we enjoyed the bonfire and the live music before calling it a night.

Sherry and Steve passed me off to Amy and Scottie, and we then made our way over to Cyndi's place in Spring Hill, which isn't too far away from where we were. But Amy and Scottie had spent their Saturday buying a new pickup truck (they got used to using mine since I've been here, and decided they needed one since Scottie's Altima is about to got tits-up on him), and Cyndi and Tim spent their day buying a new, ahem, mini-van. So we had to go over and compare the new rides.

By the time we got out of there, we were all dog-tired and had to make that long trek back up to Nashville, where we all went straight to bed once we got home. It was a long day, and all that hiking around at the hilly vineyard just wore my ass completely out.

On Sunday morning, it was nice to just sleep in and be a slug for awhile. But we couldn't relax at the house all day, there were chores to be done. I went through all of my 'cruise clothes' and found the stuff that's going to the cleaners, then I went through everything else and found a bunch of stuff to take to the alteration shop, too. But that chore didn't get quite completed--none of the local cleaners are open on Sundays.

Once the chores were done, Scottie and I met Cyndi and my niece Diana over at the Loveless Cafe. Once we hooked up with them, we were waiting on Tim, Reverend Dave, and Diana's boyfriend Jeff. They had all spent the night down at Dave's place in Alabama and were riding their motorcycles up the Natchez Trace. Since the Loveless is right there on the Trace, we agreed to all meet up for lunch.

Of course we started with their famous biscuits, and some folks had breakfast. But I went the lunch route and had the best damn grilled turkey and Swiss with onion sandwich that I've ever eaten. Seriously, it was quite the nom-fest. They have a big damn display window in the kitchen, and I think Scottie's head almost exploded when he saw the bin-o-bacon. He got so excited that he couldn't sit still after that. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me, or else you'd be seeing it here, too.

After our meal, Scottie picked up a jar of those famous blackberry preserves for Amy (who couldn't join us, as she had a prior commitment), and then we headed back to the house. Reverend Dave came by to hang out for a bit before too much daylight (and warmth) burned away, but the rest of the afternoon was completely mellow.

I think on Sunday night, we had Chinese food and watched the first Harry Potter movie. I've never read a single Harry Potter book nor seen any of the movies, but I think Amy is trying to convert me to being a fan. But the movie wasn't too bad. I'll probably give the book a chance.

My Monday was rather boring. I caught up on my sleep, and spent most of the afternoon playing with the puglets. Man, they are two little bundles of ready-made entertainment. I swear, I laugh my ass off every day with them. The highlight of the afternoon was getting them all wound up and playing on the polished hardwood floor in the living room, and then dropping a fleece blanket over the top of them. I swear it was the highest of high comedy watching them negotiate that. Holy hell, I almost peed myself laughing.

Once their 'parents' came home, we put the harnesses on them and took them over to the dog park and let them roam free. Oh man, they love that. I just went off by myself to walk the perimeter (it's a quarter mile around if you stick to the fence), but before long, I was the pied piper of puppies--they were all following me around. One of my favorite dogs is down there all the time--he's a HUGE German Shepherd named Wyatt, and he's just downright beautiful. And he looks like he's not something to be trifled with--very intimidating if you're not a dog person. But I got to play with him for a bit, too, which is always nice. I've always wanted to get a German Shepherd again (that's what we had as kids when we lived up in Ridgetop), but dogs like that need a big damn yard. Hell, at this point, I don't even have a house anymore...

But we had fun, and the pugs always love to go to the dog park.

On the way home, Amy needed to stop at the store, so while she was doing her thing, Scottie and I wandered over to the hole-in-the-wall Mediterranean joint in the same strip mall and picked up some dinner. I'm not at all familiar with the genre of food, so I just told the proprietor to load me up with lots of veggies and salad on a combo plate. We got some warm pita bread and hummus to go, too.

We got home a few minutes later and ate dinner in front of the tv--I don't quite know what I had exactly, but damn it was good--and good for me, too. I couldn't begin to even spell the stuff we ate, much less pronounce it, but I enjoyed every bit of it and will gladly be going back for lunch again soon. While eating, we watched an interesting documentary about the road to fame that Tom Petty took. All three of us are big fans, so it was a great way to spend the evening--good food, good music, good documentary.

But I've got to go to bed early, so I need to wrap this up. I've got my follow-up appointment with my surgeon at 8:00 this morning, and I'm hoping he'll tell me that I'm cured. I'm feeling much better nowadays, my chest only hurts first thing in the morning when I first get up, and I'm moving around pretty well. I don't have all my strength back, but I can tell that I'm more flexible than I was before I got sick.

I hope that it goes well and that I'm finally able to come off some off these medications. Once I get done with the doctor (and the blood lab--can't forget about that!), I'm going to run a couple of errands and then do a little grocery shopping. Once I get home, I'm going to spend my afternoon on the internet, looking at pictures of the Caribbean.

We leave in a week.

Mikey

I Think I Need A Vacation

2010-10-15T02:09:00.005-05:00

All this rest and recuperation stuff has worn me out. I need to get away. Oh, did I mention where I'll be in ten days??? Well, not anywhere near the beach in that picture above. That's actually like fifteen days away. Heh.

To say that I'm ready to go is an understatement.

Actually I spent a a few hours of my Thursday in preparation for the cruise. Since it has been six years since the last cruise I took, I figured things may have changed a bit. So I spent a good portion of my morning browsing around all the nitty-gritty details and FAQs on the Carnival website. Still gotta sneak booze aboard, except for 1 bottle of wine per person. My sister Sherry is a booze-smuggler extraordinaire, and she's got the science of it down to an art. But it's just too much damn work for me. Besides, I'm not going to be drinking nearly as much on this trip as I've done on cruises past--my system just can't handle it, and I'm sure all those nice people at Vanderbilt who spent a week taking me apart and putting me back together would absolutely lose their shit if they found out that I went on a week-long bender. No more $700 bar bills for this guy. (Yep, on my first cruise ten years ago, my individual bar bill at the end of the week was over $700, almost twice what I'd paid for the cruise!)

This time around, I'll indulge in an umbrella drink by the pool during the day, a glass of wine with dinner, and maybe a late evening cocktail to go with my cigar out on the balcony before I go to bed. No more buying a bucket of beers and wandering around making new friends, and no more free drinks in the casino at night.

Oh, I may bring an airline bottle or two of The Captain with me, cleverly disguised in my toiletry bag, but that'll be the extent of my subterfuge. Sherry and Steve have that big-ass suite and balcony off the end of the boat, and well, it just wouldn't do to show up empty-handed at the Bon Voyage party.

So once I finished off my morning coffee and filled my head with all sorts of cruising information, it was time to get my day started. I had to wash, fold, and pack a bunch of clothes first thing, because I'm staying up at Mamasan's place for a couple of nights. I did that and tried to straighten up the house a bit, but man, everything still takes me about four times as long as normal. Nothing is easy.

Mamasan showed up while I was in the shower, and she helped me finish packing my clothes and also gathering up everything else I needed (phone charger, laptop and cords, my 'good' cards, a few books, all my meds, etc.) We finally got on the road about an hour later, heading back down to the clinic at Vanderbilt. They poked another hole in me, and once that was done, I had them get me a new prescription for pain medication. I'm all out of Percocet, so now I'm on Lortabs. I'm feeling a little better nowadays, and the residual pain from the water bottle incident is pretty much gone and all I have to deal with is that whole chest-getting-cut-open thing.

But we made our escape from Vanderbilt and headed off to run errands. The first order of business was for Mamasan to stop and get a haircut. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that it took forty minutes. And I'm still taking this Lasix stuff that makes me pee every thirty minutes. Plus it's a long drive back up north.

I managed to make it all the way to her friend Mary's house, our next stop in our journey, but man, it was like the Teton Dam breaking once I finally got there. I was pretty tired by then (everything makes me tired), so I made myself comfy on the sofa while they went out shopping for an hour or so. After a bit, I started getting restless, so I decided to grab my camera and walking stick and take a hike. Mary lives waaaay out in the woods, and the trees in her neighborhood are turning this week, and there are some great pictures waiting to be taken. Unfortunately, by the time I got to the end of her long driveway, and out to the end of the property, I decided that it was a fruitless endeavor. I couldn't keep my pants up.

Seriously, I've lost a bit of weight, and all of my shorts and pants are way too big for me now. Not only that, but my belt has about two-and-a-half inches of play in it, so it really doesn't help at all. So walking with one hand trying to keep my pants up, and the other one on the walking stick to help me keep my balance, well, it was just too much for me. I turned around and went back in the house, where I promptly dozed on the couch until they got back home. Once they did, we found a pointed rasp and a hammer in the toolbox, and I took my belt out to the back deck and punched a few more holes in it.

Progress, baby. I'm makin' it!

Next on the agenda was to head over to WalMart and get my prescription. I also wanted to pick up a bunch of travel-sized toiletries too. Unfortunately, the pharmacy was closed when we got there, forcing us to wander around for a half an hour. So no, I didn't get my hiking done in the great outdoors, recording the wonders of nature on my camera. Instead, I got my exercise in Wally World, pushing around a damn shopping cart for a good chunk of the afternoon. But at least my pants stayed up, and I got a bunch of travel goodies to fill up my new toiletry bag--and a few more items have been crossed off of the vacation to-do list.

One of the things I got were a couple of single-load packets of Tide gel. Normally, I find a local laundry service on one of the islands to wash all my dirty underwear, socks, and t-shirts about five days into the trip (I hate traveling home with a suitcase full of dirty clothes--I'm always afraid it'll bust open in the middle of the airport, embarrassing me to no end), but no amount of internet searching has revealed such a service. Too bad we're not going to Cozumel--there's a little shack at the end of the dock where you drop off your bag of dirty clothes and pay 'em like fifteen bucks, and three hours later it's all cleaned, pressed, folded, and bundled, wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string. I love that.

Nothing like that exists on any of the islands we'll be visiting, as far as I can tell, and at least Carnival has onboard laundry rooms, so I can do it myself early in the morning on one of our last sea days. Hell, Royal Caribbean doesn't offer self-service laundry rooms, so getting a duffel bag full of undies and socks washed ran me about about sixty bucks last time I was on one of their ships. Ouch!

Anyhow, once I got my cruise goodies and prescriptions paid for, we finally got to come home. A day of running around like that leaves me pretty tired. We made some turkey sandwiches for lunch and chilled out for the rest of the afternoon. I can't quite remember what I did, but the smart money is on 'dozed on the couch'.

It started to feel a little chilly in the evening, so we made a pot of coffee to warm up. Our original plan was to make a nice dinner with salad and such, but that idea went out the window because nobody felt like chopping a bunch of vegetables. So we had breakfast for dinner, instead. Mamasan made some ham steak and eggs, and we had toast, coffee, and juice, too. It was damn good! And it was the first egg I'd eaten since I got cut open. The nutritionist said I can have three eggs a week, but so far, I've just skipped 'em altogether, opting for cereal or fruit most mornings. So it was a nice treat.

After dinner we played cards for awhile, then refilled our coffee cups before moving back over to the living room, this time adding a contraband splash of Bailey's. It was pretty damn good, but that was enough for me. We stayed up for a couple of hours planning our Friday, talking about the upcoming cruise, and also playing the 'remember when' game from 30+ years ago, talking about people and events from waaaay back in the day.

That kept us occupied for awhile, and the caffeine worked it's magic, but eventually we called it a night. Well, Mamasan did--she ambled off to her room to watch TV before going to sleep, and well, here I am at the keyboard. But I think I'm ready to go to bed now, so I'll leave you Friday morning re-clickers with a little bit of pre-vacation eye candy.

There. That should do it.

Mikey

Late Night Posting

2010-10-13T00:19:00.005-05:00

Well, I suppose I shouldn't have had two cups of coffee at 9:00 pm, but here it is a few minutes after midnight and I'm wide awake. That's ok, I'll probably be watching the Chilean mine rescue for the next several hours, and it's not like I have anywhere I have to be in the morning, either. I was much too young to remember Apollo XIII, but this has to be right up with it on the scale of human drama.

But once I turn off the tv and get some sleep, I'm gonna spend my hump day doing a few chores--it'll wear me out, I'm sure--and since I move at about half speed, it'll take a good chunk of my day once I get out of bed, anyways.

Since I didn't get to go walking on Tuesday, I'm going to remedy that and hopefully go twice, maybe doing a shorter walk early on, and then a full-on mile-long hike before it gets dark. I'm also gonna try and do some laundry, but since I can't lift very much, I'll probably get enough exercise just walking back and forth from my bedroom to the washing machine. Ah, the joys of being an invalid...

I'm also going to be patiently waiting for the UPS man to arrive, as there is a shipment of cruise goodies on it's way. Some generous folks provided a little scratch in the tip jar a few days ago (again, thanks everyone!) with explicit instructions to "Use this for your cruise!", so I spent a bit of it on items I'm going to be needing for the trip. I think in this shipment, I've got a couple of books that I'll take with me for those lazy sea days where I sit in a chaise lounge out on the balcony sipping an umbrella drink and watching the ocean roll by. I've just got to be patient enough to leave them alone for the next two weeks and not read them before I go. I've also got some oversize neon-colored luggage tags (and some TSA-approved luggage locks) coming so that I can pick out my suitcases from the sea of black luggage at the airport and cruise terminal. Rounding out the shipment is a hanging toiletries/travel accessory kit bag so I don't have to bring my nasty old toothpaste-stained vinyl Walmart special.

Other than that stuff, I'm pretty much set as far as cruise prep goes. This past weekend, I rounded up all my clothes I'm gonna need from the closet at Cyndi's house and the storage shed up at Mamasan's (when I got out of the hospital, I had a bare minimum of clothes with me here at Amy's). I was thinking about renting a tux again, but that's an expense that I really can't afford--and I probably shouldn't be spending money on that, anyways. So I found my blue blazer that I haven't worn in years, and gathered a few dress shirts, slacks, and ties, too. Not to mention decent shoes and swim trunks. Oh, I'll have to take some stuff to the cleaners and the alteration shop this weekend, but then my wardrobe be set. After that, a quick trip to the drugstore for some travel-size toiletries, and I'll be ready to hit the high seas. (And we're still working on Halloween costumes, but I'll discuss that in more detail later on).

We leave on a Tuesday, but the weekend before we go, we're going to get together and have our traditional pre-cruise party here at Amy's house, and participate in another tradition that I'm hesitant to share with the masses. But what the hell, I don't care--Before we leave on our 'annual' cruises, we always go and have a 'spa day' together. Yes, I go with my sisters and get a manicure and a pedicure done. Don't hate--believe me, the ladies notice, and if I'm gonna be out in public with nothing but bare feet or flip flops for eight days, well, I can't have nasty feet. And working all those years in a casino, I remember how many times I got compliments on my hands whenever I got a manicure. So even if it ain't the most masculine thing in the world, I don't care. At least I'm not getting a massage from a dude.

I'm also going to have to pack a small travel bag for the next couple of days. On Thursday, after I head back down to Vanderbilt for another stickin', I'm gonna head up to Mamasan's place up north for two nights. No particular reason other than a change of scenery. I've been shuffling back and forth between my bed and the big easy chair in Amy and Scotties den for the last three weeks, most of that time all alone and unsupervised, so I'm gonna go spend some time up there. It'll be more fun to play some cards or some board games during the day, and we also plan on going for a drive and exploring the woods and such, so I should have some good pictures to share, too.

In addition to my chores and cruise anticipation, I may also do some writing. Since I got this new look on the blog, it's motivated me to put up fresh material. So who knows what kind of silliness may spout from my medication-addled brain--you should pay close attention for the next few days because I may just surprise you.

Mikey

Technical Difficulties -- UPDATED

2010-10-12T17:04:00.002-05:00

Hey Gang--

Hope you all like the new look. Unfortunately, with the new template, I had to re-install the commenting software. I could go back to the old blogger commenting, but if I do, I lose *all* of the old comments. I'd prefer to keep them, so I'm sticking with the current system until the end of the year, and then I'll re-evaluate at that point.

Anyhow, there was a glitch. When you click on the comment link, it just scrolls you down and puts the comment link at the top of the page. Then you have to click it again to make your comment. That ain't supposed to happen. I've tried to fix it, but can't figure it out, so I've got a help ticket in with Echo support. Depending on when they get back to me, we'll have to put up with the extra weird step.

But go ahead and leave any comments--I always appreciate feedback.

Mikey

**UPDATE**

Ok kiddies, I've got a temporary fix in. Instead of my usual pop-up window, I've got it set so that when you click on the comment link it'll bring it up on the web page, not in a pop-up. Of course, that also takes it to a 'post page', which is an individual page for each post, taking you away from the main page of the site. So once you're done commenting, you'll have to click your bookmark or re-type the address in your browser window, basically doing again whatever you did to get here in the first place. I know, it's a pain in the ass, kind of a cheap way to drive traffic (like Instapundit), but until I hear back from the tech support folks, this is the way it'll have to operate. We now take you back to your regularly scheduled browsing...

Time to Change

2010-10-12T16:09:00.000-05:00

See what happens when I have too much time on my hands?

Yeah, I've been bored with the look of this site for some time now, and I also felt like there was too much wasted space. What really bucked me were the artificially wide margins, so I started farting around with the software and stumbled onto some new and easy-to-use templates, and well, I like the look of this one. So here we are. I don't know how the archives look or how well it's gonna work, so I may just change it up again. It's a work in progress, and who knows just how progressive I may end up feeling before all is said and done.

I think the source of today's boredom is the fact that it's been raining all day, and even though I'm pretty much confined to the house anyways, today was one of those days where it just feels like an indoor recess day. Although it's hard to play Heads Up 7-Up or Duck Duck Goose all by myself... So I slept in late, which has helped (I'm still hurting from the 'Case of Water Incident' this weekend'), and then I haven't done much but watch TV, read, and play on the computer.

Last night, Scottie and I went out to a local restaurant, Caesars, for dinner. Both Amy and he said that they had the best pizza in Nashville, so we had to try it out. It's not really a pizza place, it's more of a mom-and-pop red sauce joint, kind of a poor cousin to Casa di Amore out in Vegas. Same menu, although a few bucks cheaper here and there.

The pizza was pretty good, but it didn't blow my skirt up too much (Grimaldi's has ruined me). We had a large combo pizza with lots of veggies and a little bit o' meat, and shared a carafe of surprisingly good house Chianti. I'm not normally a fan of Chianti, but this stuff was very tasty and enjoyable. I'll definitely be going back--maybe not for pizza so much, but something off of the regular menu paired with some good house wine.

Once we got back home, we were both pretty tired. I had a sip of Port and two squares of dark chocolate for 'dessert', and we tried to watch the football game, but gave up after just a few minutes and called it an early night. Although I didn't get to see it live, watching the SportsCenter highlights this morning of Brett Pevre tossing a pick-six to ice the game made me especially happy.

But as far as today goes, I'm just hanging out here at the house being mellow. It's raining much too hard to go out walking, and I don't have anything resembling proper rain gear anyways. So unless it clears out fairly soon, my daily walk ain't gonna happen this time. That's ok though, I think I need the rest.

BTW, there's a little exciting chatter going on with my email box and Facebook messages today. We leave for the cruise in just two short weeks, so the natives are getting restless. I can't wait!

Mikey

Five Day Hiatus

2010-10-11T02:06:00.019-05:00

Hey Gang--

Again, I find myself apologizing for my lack of updates, but truly, I lead a fairly boring life as a reluctant invalid, so it's hard to come up with the proper mix of literary spice to make my scribbling somewhat palatable.

But I'm going to try.

So, what's new on this Monday morning? Well, the good news, actually, the best news, is that I don't have to go down to the clinic at Vanderbilt today and have my blood tested. I seem to have thinned out sufficiently enough and managed to maintain it long enough that I only have to go once a week now. So I'm off the ~~needle~~ hook until Thursday. Woot! If you hadn't already guessed, that makes me very happy.

So what else is happening around here? Well, Reverend Dave came up this past weekend, and it was nice to have him here at the hippie's place with me. But Scottie wasn't here--he's in a band and they had a gig in North Carolina at the Mullet Festival. We never got clarification as to whether they were celebrating the haircut or the species of fish, but nevertheless, they needed a classic rock band, so Scottie grabbed his gear went on the road for a couple of days.

On Friday, I didn't do too much. Sherry came over to help me figure out what I'm doing wrong as far as testing my blood sugar. I waited until after my first doctor's appointment to start testing myself, but then I could never get a reading. I followed all of the instructions and such, but I kept getting error messages from the glucose meter thingy. Sherry is a nurse and has lots of experience with this type of stuff so she came over to help me out. Well, we must've gone through about a quarter of my supplies, and I've got five new holes in my fingers, but the bottom line is that the blood thinners have done their job so well that the testing strips can't register, no matter how much blood I squeeze out of my finger. And I don't have a defective meter, either, as Sherry tested herself a few times and came up with consistent results.

So I have no idea where my blood sugar is, although I'm guessing it's pretty damn low because I've basically gone cold turkey on sugar of any sort and cool turkey on most carbs and processed foods. But I have my first follow-up with the surgeon and the cardio-pulmonary unit next week, so I'm hoping they can figure out how to test me.

After faltering with that little chore, we called up Carnival Cruise Lines to try and take care of some other business. Sherry and Steve have booked one of those huge suites at the end of the boat that has a balcony that goes around the corner of the stern and costs a small fortune for the week, which in turn entitles them to some VIP treatment. One of the perks is that they don't have to wait in the check-in line with the rest of us regular-fare peons. They have a secret check-in area where they are given one-on-one attention and faster check-in, all in the comfort of a lounge with free drinks, comfy chairs, and fruit trays before they are whisked aboard ahead of the crowds.

In the past, the VIP passengers where allowed to bring four friends with them upon check-in, which my sisters took advantage of last year. Well, this year, due to my delicate condition, Sherry offered to bring me and Reverend Dave aboard with her and Steve. Unfortunately, Carnival changed their rules this year--no more VIP check-in unless you're staying in a full-on luxury suite, no guests, no exceptions. She played the 'invalid' card on my behalf, but we're waiting to hear back from Guest Services. Bottom line, I may have to gimp it up a little and request a wheelchair to get the VIP check-in, so that issue is still up in the air. But I can walk just fine--I just can't stand around for very long and I still can't carry my own luggage or even carry-on bags.

So that issue remains unsettled. After that, Sherry tried to put $125 on my sail-n-sign account in advance for me, her gift to me from when I was in the hospital--she offered to pay for my first go-round of supplies and prescriptions, and that's what it cost me. But I paid for it on my own when I got out, so she offered to give me the cash or put it on my room account on the cruise. So I said to put it on my account. Unfortunately, Carnival changed their rules on this too. In the past, anyone could call up the 800-number and add money to anyone else's sail-n-sign account. And I think all of us have done it at some point in the past. But not any more. Now you either have to buy gift certificates or wait until you're onboard and then go visit the purser's desk and they'll do it for you.

That's a pretty lame business decision if you ask me. Not only does it inconvenience passengers and potential passengers, but why wouldn't they want the interest-free use of all that money? So as much as we've enjoyed Carnival in the past, I think we've all come to the conclusion that we won't be going with them anymore if we can help it. We all prefer Royal Caribbean or Princess instead, it's just that the combo of price/itinerary/departure port was too good to pass up this time. Next year, I'm pretty sure we'll be on a Princess cruise.

So all of the stuff Sherry and I set out to do on Friday was a complete bust. We didn't accomplish a damn thing, although we had a nice visit. I'm home alone most of the time, so it's always good to see people. I still can't drive anywhere, so unless people stop by, during the day it's just me and the pugs until Mamasan shows up and hauls me down to get my blood drained. So it was nice that Sherry stuck around keeping me company as long as she could but then she had to head home--she lives on the other side of town and it was rush hour.

That evening, Amy and I stayed home and one of her friends came over for a bit. We didn't do anything but order pizza (thin crust with ham and onion for me) and hang out visiting and telling stories. A few minutes after she rolled out, Reverend Dave rolled in from Alabama. We stayed up goofing off for a few hours and talking about and making plans the upcoming cruise. (Fifteen days till departure!)

On Saturday morning, we got up early and I made a pot of Vanilla Creme Brulee coffee, courtesy of Angy's care package and my new coffee grinder. It was damn good, too. After we finished our second cup, Amy suggested that we go do our walk before it got too hot. So Dave and I got dressed and she got the puglets all harnessed up and ready to go. We drove over to the local park, and instead of walking along the paved bike path out in the open field, we opted for the Warner Woods Trail, which is a loop of almost three miles, but I figured we'd do the first half mile or so out to the old rock quarry, walk that loop, and then come back. Instead of open ground, it's a true deep-woods path (well, it looks like deep woods, although there is civilization all around).

But it was a damn enjoyable hike--it follows the old Natchez Trace for a few hundred yards, then heads off into the woods and such. We never found the rock quarry that was on the topo map, but just before the trail headed up into the too-strenuous-for-Mikey hills, another smaller trail branched off and led back to a road that led back to the far end of the bike path. Using one of the magic GPS tracking apps on the iPhone, we learned that our route was .95 miles. Not quite a full one, but close enough for me, especially when you factor in the bit where you walk to and from the truck to get to the trailhead.

Of course I forgot to take my camera with me, but it was an awesome hike. I love love love the look and feel of being in the deep dark woods (even if I can hear a train in the distance), and the elevation changes were just right for me--not too steep, but still enough up and down to give me a good workout. Yeah, I was sweating pretty good when we got back to the parking lot, but I felt good. (I enjoyed that walk so much that I did it again last night, this time with Scottie, and while we were there, he took that picture at the top of the post--fall is coming to Tennessee!)

I hope to make that trek again a few times this week, and I'll make sure to take my camera with to share a few pics with y'all. It's truly some stunning scenery.

Once we got back, Amy had some errands to run and David and I had a lot to do, too. On his way up to Nashville, he stopped in Columbia to pick up Amy and Scott's old camp trailer from behind their old house (the old house went to auction on Saturday, so the trailer had to go). So anyhow, we had a two-fold mission on our hands. We were taking the trailer up to Mamasan's place (she has a HUGE backyard, and more importantly, a double gate that you can get a truck and trailer through, so that's where the camper went. And of course I had to go through the storage unit and get a few more things.

So while Dave was parking the camper and getting it leveled and situated for long-term storage, I was going through my storage totes and finding stuff I needed. Mostly stuff for the cruise--dress shoes, a pair of topsiders, a couple of ties, a few more t-shirts, and then a few kitchen things like my wok and my Asian cookbooks. Oh, and my hanging garment bag, too. We also had lunch with Mamasan and visited for awhile before making that long 40-mile drive back to Amy's.

Saturday night was bonfire night, and we had to help Amy get the place ready. Cyndi and Tim were coming up, along with my niece Diana and her boyfriend, plus a couple of other friends. Amy made BBQ chicken in the crockpot, while David and I headed off to Kroger to get a fruit tray and some shrimp cocktail. Oh, and more beer, too. I told myself I was going to have ONE beer that night, but I ended up not having any. It was diet Dr. Pepper all night, until just before bed--then I had a glass of red wine (I swear that stuff is a miracle drug!).

But we had a great time sitting around the bonfire and goofing off with family and friends. Of course, I was a wreck, because just before the party started, not even thinking, I accidentally tried to pick up a case of water out of habit, and it damn near killed me. I'm not supposed to pick up anything over ten pounds, and after that little episode, I felt like absolute shiat for the next 24 hours. My lungs and arteries may be healed, but my sternum and chest is still ultra-sensitive and I was miserable after that. Bad Mikey--quit trying to pick stuff up!!!

Luckily, I have some Percocet on hand, and that helped a little. But still, I felt like I set my recovery process back three days or more. Ugh. After that, Amy and David wouldn't let me lift a damn thing. Even when they brought me a drink of water, it was only half full. And when I went walking last night, it was much harder on me. It felt like the route was shorter than the day before, but it was much tougher to walk it. Lesson learned.

Cyndi and Tim also brought me a bunch of stuff up from their place, again, mostly stuff for the cruise--my blue blazer, some dress shirts, a few of my nicer casual shirts, and my humidor (Oh hell yeah I'm gonna smoke my pipe and cigars on the cruise! Well, I'm gonna try to at least...) They also brought me my mail that's been piling up since I was in the hospital. Still no final paycheck from the Evil Empire, but I *did* get the bill from Vanderbilt.

Anyone want to guess what the total was for eight days and nights, plus two surgeries, Intensive Care, physical and respiratory therapy, and other such niceties at one of America's premiere medical facilities cost?

Anyone... anyone???

Yeah, it was over $135,000. And that's not even including the bill from the surgeon, the radiologist, the anesthesiologist, or any of the other -ologists who got their mitts on me.

Yep, 135K. Ouchie.

But it's not as bad as it seems. First of all, due to the generosity and kindness of others, $65,000 of it has already been wiped away. I'm down to owing just $67,000 and change. And they're working with me on that, too. Still a huge chunk, that I'll probably spend the next twenty years paying off, but it's a manageable amount, and as far as I'm concerned, worth every penny! (Oh, and every time I go to the lab to get my blood tested, add another $32 to the running total!)

My guess was a cool quarter million when I got released, and once I get the bill from the surgeon and such, it might just get there after everything is said and done. But I'll worry about that once I get better and get back to work. In the meantime, if anyone has any couch change they feel like donating, by all means, the PayPal tin cup is open for business...

I guess in hindsight, I probably should've stayed in the pit and kept my benefits, huh? Funny how life works out. But that's probably a post for another time...

Anyhow, even though I felt like crap that night, I still had a good time at the bonfire. And even though Scottie wasn't around, Amy still had a house full of guests once the party wound down--several folks opted not to drive, so we had quite the slumber party.

Sunday was fairly mellow--once everyone took off and headed home, we just made some coffee and relaxed in front of the TV most of the day. I was still feeling a little off-kilter, so I spent the afternoon in bed. After my evening walk in the park, Amy had more BBQ chicken on hand, plus some side salads and such for dinner. And since I'd never seen the movie 'UP', we watched that instead of the Sunday night football game. Yeah, I enjoyed it, and no, it didn't make me cry.

But that's how I've spent my last few days--not too bad and uninteresting, I hope. I've also been making a few drafts here and there with some of my old poker stories, but that's still a ways off before I have one worth sharing. But at least I'm working on them. I'm also to the point where I can hold up my arm long enough to play the guitar, so I'm going to start practicing with Scottie every day (and working on chords and such during the day when I'm home alone). At least it's something to keep me busy. I swear, I've come to the end of the internet and I've run out of sites to browse during the day.

In the meantime, I'm just gonna go walking in the woods. I seem to enjoy that.

Mikey

I Go Out Walkin', After Mid-day

2010-10-06T14:50:00.000-05:00

Man, I was about to cry and whine this morning when I woke up and saw that it was only 38 degrees outside. That's just a little too brisk for me. But not to worry--it got sunny and warmed up to the north side of 70, so I took advantage and went for a walk.

It wasn't as productive as I'd hoped it would be--I had to keep stopping to pull up my pants. I almost lost 'em a few times, so I guess that's tangible progress. I've got my belt cinched up to the last hole, but it's still hangs down, useless except as decoration, with an extra inch or two of leather real estate that's not helping at all.

Also, remember last week when I was at the ghetto walk-in clinic and they told me that I'd lost 28 lbs? Well, I kinda figured that was a generous number, because I was standing on a digital scale that had balancing handles on it. So I knew it was giving me a number that was a little too optimistic. Anyhow, I could tell that I'd lost a bit of weight, and I had to go with what they put in my medical records, but I didn't believe it. So this past weekend I got an expensive digital heavy-duty scale that's guaranteed to be accurate within 1%, and it measures weight in tenths of a pound, too. So it's much more accurate than the scale they put me on at the walk-in clinic.

I've been weighing myself every morning, since I got it, and my actual weight loss was closer to 14 lbs., which makes sense because nobody except an amputee would lose 28 lbs in two weeks. Of course I wish I were down 28 lbs, but at least now I can measure my progress more accurately. And I'm doing pretty good. I'm hoping to be down an accurate 25 lbs by the time we go on the cruise in three weeks. At least that's my goal.

I figure I need to step up and walk more often, and do longer distances, too. One of my readers clued me in to a great tool, mapmyrun.com, which lets me measure exactly how far I walk each day. I don't have a handheld GPS, nor do I have a smartphone with an app that would measure it for me, so this is the next best thing. I've since found out that my neighborhood walk down to the far reaches of the dead-end street and back is only .63 miles. And the easy park walk that we did this weekend is only .87 miles. I thought both were longer. Of course, they seem longer when you're not up to full strength. (Although, today's neighborhood walk seemed easier than usual, and went by fairly quickly, so I'm doing better).

My immediate goal is to start doing a full mile in the evenings, and then maybe next Saturday or Sunday I'll try the 2 1/2 mile Harpeth Woods Trail over at Edwin Warner Park. And then once I'm officially 'healed' I'm going to tackle the 60 Hikes Within 60 Miles of Nashville. At least that's the plan.

This afternoon, however, the plan is to take a nap for a couple of hours. I feel like I could use one.

Mikey

Natural Born Killers

2010-10-05T11:36:00.000-05:00

Y'all know I'm staying with my sister Amy and her husband Scottie here in Nashville while I make my gradual recovery. And those of you who have been paying attention know that they have a couple of the most adorable pugs ever--they're not even pets, they're more like their children. Of course, I don't know many people who would name their kids Vader and Bertha, but that's not the point--the point is that the pugs are awesome to have around. They're so cute and playful and they have hilarious personalities to boot, so everybody loves them.

But we found out that they have a dark side. (Well, we figured that with a name like Vader, having a Dark Side was part of the deal, so we kinda knew what we were gettin' in to). But instead of being cute and cuddly like Ewoks or something, they are pudgy little predators, too. Check out the dead squirrel in the picture!

Amy and Scottie have a monstrous back yard (big enough that if it were in Vegas, there would be about eight or ten houses built in the same amount of space), and it's got some huge trees, too. The huge trees attract lots of squirrels, and that just drives the dogs crazy, as you can imagine. They are forever chasing them, but never, until now, managed to catch one. Pugs are not known for their speed and agility, much less stealth.

But while Amy and I were up at Mamasan's on Sunday, Scottie was on the back porch tending to the meat in the smoker, and Bertha walked up and deposited a dead squirrel at Scottie's feet. Talk about a shocker! I would be just as amazed if my four-year-old niece Brynn walked up and dropped a dead copperhead on the front porch. Where the hell did that come from?!?!?

After shaking off the disbelief, Scottie pulled out the iPhone and snapped the picture. Then he scooped up the dead squirrel and put it in the garbage can outside by the garage. When Amy and I got home a few minutes later, we couldn't believe it either. Since nobody saw the hit go down, Scottie believes that the squirrel died of natural causes and just fell out of the tree. I believe that Vader actually hunted and killed it and then Bertha stole the carcass from him. Amy is undecided. Even so, I haven't seen a single squirrel in the back yard since Saturday, and before this happened, I'd see them constantly. I think a message has been sent.

Either way, they're more than just the cute little dogs that snooze on the couch and mess up the pillows that we thought they were. They're chubby little bug-eyed predators, and even though they can't run very fast, climb trees, or jump, every now and then they get lucky. And all you varmits better recognize!

Mikey

Trying to Return to Normal

2010-10-05T00:20:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone had a great weekend. I know a lot of my good friends were out in Vegas this past weekend, and I was a little sad that I wasn't there to partake and share in the buffoonery, but it couldn't be helped.

On the other hand, for being wired together and running at about 1/3 of normal capacity, I had a rather enjoyable weekend here in Nashville.

On Saturday, I took a nice long walk down one of the easy paved trails at the local park, and it did me a lot of good, although it wore me out. We walked just over a mile, kind of an out-and-back thing, but it was a good start for me before I tackle longer and hillier walks in the near future. Amy & Scott went with me, and brought the pugs, so it was an entertaining walk watching them explore everything from the end of the leash. There was a lot of stopping and starting, running and barking with them, but I kept up my plodding pace while the dogs did their thing.

I have to admit, I got a little cold while we were out there--the temperature dropped down into the fifties that day, and there was a slight breeze, so I was a little chilly for awhile, even though I broke a sweat. And Amy reminded me that my already-thin desert blood is being chemically altered to be even thinner with all the medication I'm taking, so yeah, I'm probably gonna be a crybaby this winter.

Later that night, as a reward for my good behavior and exercise, Scottie put some nice thick ribeyes on the grill, and we opened a bottle of red wine with dinner. I felt like I was committing a mortal sin by trimming all the fat from my steak before eating it, but it was still pretty damn good. And before anyone jumps on me, my nutritionist told me that I can still have steak once in awhile and red wine is just fine in small doses. Also, I found out that some of the higher-end specialty dark chocolate has fewer grams of sugar and carbs than my doctor-approved fruit bars, so after dinner, I had a couple of squares of that with the rest of my Cabernet (only one glass, of course).

And let me tell you--that night, I slept like a baby, no pain at all, and I woke up feeling absolutely great! Seriously--a little red wine worked like magic.

We had leftover steak from the night before (no way I could eat the whole thing), so when we got up on Sunday morning, I made a pot of coffee and Scottie ran down to the Loveless Cafe and picked up some of their famous biscuits while Amy slept in. When he got back, we made steak biscuits for breakfast, and they were damn good, especially when topped with a spoonful of those homemade blackberry preserves!

After that, Scottie went to work on the smoker, and I raided the spice cabinet and made a batch of dry rub. We had a big pork shoulder and a couple of racks of baby back ribs, and Scottie is in his happy place when he can spend the day smoking meat. While he did that, Amy and I took off and headed north up to Mamasan's place to hang out with her for a few hours. We had a nice visit but didn't do too much. I fell asleep on the couch for awhile while they talked, but we played some cards and Mamasan had made a crockpot full of really good homemade vegetable soup that we had for lunch.

Eventually, we made our way back down to civilization and prepared for a small dinner party. Some friends came over, and besides all the smoked meat, we had some ridiculously good lobster bisque, baked beans, and corn on the cob. My dinner was a little bit scaled back--I couldn't have any of the good microbrew on hand, and I only ate one rib and one small piece of pork, but it was all pretty damn good--no sauce needed at all, but we still had it available. Scottie is a magician with the smoker, and everything he makes comes out tasting awesome. Hell, when I was in the hospital, he even smuggled in a bag of smoked chicken for me one time so I could skip that horrible meatloaf they served almost every night for dinner. Talk about making somebody feel better...

Anyhow, it was another great meal, and after dinner we hung out on the back patio enjoying the cool fall weather and had a nice visit with our friends. It wore me out though, (as does everything) and I crashed early.

Lucky I did, because I had to get up fairly early on Monday morning to get down to the clinic at Vanderbilt and have them stab me with a needle again. But once the results came back a few hours later, they told me that starting next week, I may be able to get tested just once a week instead of twice like I'm doing now. Thank god--it's kind of a pain in the ass to have to have somebody drive me down there and do that all the time. The fewer times I have to do it, the better (BTW for those of you that are interested, my INR level is holding steady at 2.4, so I'm right where I need to be).

But that little chore was done by 8:30 in the morning, and I spent the balance of my Monday morning dozing in front of the SportsCenter reruns. The painkillers make me extremely drowsy, and eventually I just went back to bed for a three-hour nap. It's amazing how much better I feel when I take a nap, but for some reason, I don't do it as often as I should. It's not like I have anything else going on, but I feel like I should be up doing something, anything. But like I said last week, I'm not gonna fight it any more. My system needs bed rest, so that's what I'm gonna do.

Once I got up and moving again, I felt good enough to kick around the house a bit. I made dinner for Scottie and Amy, but it didn't take a whole lot of effort on my part. We had a bunch of leftover meatballs and sauce that I'd made for that get-together on Friday night, so I just boiled some whole-wheat pasta to make an entree out of it. And we have some of these whole-grain sandwich rounds that I sometimes substitute for regular bread, and I made garlic toast out of that. I took some dry-roasted garlic and ground it up in the mortar and pestle, then spread a little olive oil on the bread and sprinkled it with garlic. I topped it off with some low-fat mozzarella cheese and parsley flakes, then popped it into the toaster oven for a few minutes. It turned out pretty damn good! We also opened up a nice bottle of Oregon Pinot, and with that, we had ourselves a great dinner.

Once I finished my meal, I still had a bit of wine left in my glass, so I indulged in a couple of squares of that 70% cocoa dark chocolate, and again, it was a wonderful substitute for dessert. And I'm sure I'll sleep well once I finally crawl off to bed.

As far as Tuesday goes, I don't have a whole lot on my agenda. I just have to call the folks at Bally's payroll office and make sure they finally sent my last paycheck (going on two months now!) and then talk to my local insurance guy about getting my policy changed over to Tennessee from Nevada--gonna save another ten bucks a month--Yay. (I was hoping to save about fifty, but that ain't happenin'). Other than that, I think I'm just gonna take another long walk followed by another long nap. In between all of that, I'll practice on the guitar, surf the internet, and just play with the pugs until they wear me out. Ain't my life interesting?

Oh well, that's all I've got for now. Y'all have a great day and try not to work too hard.

Mikey

Finally, I'll Be Able to Enjoy Autumn Again

2010-10-02T13:24:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned how happy I am to be back in Tennessee? I think I may have said something along those lines here in the recent past...

Anyhow, it's another beautiful day here in Nashville, and although the summer was so bad that this will probably be a less-than-memorable autumn, I am totally diggin' the weather these days. It's beautiful and sunny, warm in the afternoons, but cool and almost downright chilly at night. Perfect weather, if you ask me. I don't miss Vegas at all, except for the fact that Angy and the gals are out there this week, and of course I wish I could be there hanging out with them instead of sitting here in my chair taking a dozen pills a day going back and forth from the hospital every few days.

At least I'll be able to do something fun today. Later this afternoon, the plan is to hike one of the shorter trails over at Edwin Warner park, which is just down the road from the house. Once I get some semblance of strength back, I'll be able to tackle the longer, hillier trails at Percy Warner. But that's a long way off still--every day I'm reminded at least a half dozen times of all the things I still can't do. For instance, last night I tried to be helpful and backed the truck up into the driveway from off the street, and that damn near put me over the edge. It's amazing how many little muscles you use to turn the wheel and twist around trying to back up a vehicle. Seriously, it's still beyond my capabilities. Further evidence that you absolutely don't want what I had.

I think I've kind of overdone myself this week, too. I've always struggled with being impatient, and trying to get better is really testing me. Whenever I think I'm feeling good, I try to do normal things, and then I get the painful smackdown a few minutes later. My long walk a few days ago felt good at the time, but it might've been a bit much. And then on Thursday I spend about 45 minutes pushing a grocery cart around at Kroger, and man, I was absolutely DONE once I got home--that really wore my ass out.

Last night, I went over to Cyndi & Tim's place, and just trying to carry a camp chair from the garage to the backyard, or trying to climb the stairs, took all the wind out of my sails. I felt like crap later when I got home. Also, a long ride in the truck doesn't help, either--my ribcage is all wired together and not completely healed yet, and any bumps while riding are very painful. And then, like a genius, I tried to sleep on my side for about an hour last night. BIG mistake. It hurt to breath, walk, laugh, talk, and basically do anything this morning.

Part of it was also the fact that I ate some stuff that I shouldn't have, and my system is hyper-sensitive to anything with extra sugar or salt in it. And last night was a pot-luck party, so lots of people brought all kinds of tasty goodies. Most of the stuff people brought was stuff I should've skipped, but I'll be honest and admit that I sampled a few items that I didn't need to, and it affected me almost immediately. I spent the last hour of my visit just sitting outside by the firepit sipping on bottled water and feeling like crapola.

But I'm doing much better today. Once I got up this morning, took my medication, got a cup of coffee and a decent breakfast in me, I felt normal again. Well, normal for me. Amy and Scottie took my truck to go to Costco and also shop for a desk and some PA speakers, so I'm here babysitting the puglets on my own. Once they get back, however, we're gonna try and get some quality time in the outdoors. Other than that, I have no plans for the rest of the day except to watch the Oregon/Stanford game.

The recovery life is pretty dull, now that I think about it. I guess that's why I haven't posted much lately--just nothing interesting to report lately. Maybe I'll take the camera with me when I go for my walk and take some pics to share.

Until then, I'm outtie!

Mikey

Oh By The Way...

2010-09-29T11:56:00.001-05:00

Lost in all the recent events swirling around me is that fact that we still have the Sibling Revelry cruise coming up--IN LESS THAN A MONTH. Yep, a month from now, I'll be lounging on deck of the Carnival Miracle, heading for the Southern Caribbean. I cannot wait!

Speaking of recent events, I've got to amend my planned activities somewhat when I go on this vacation. First of all, my alcohol intake will be somewhat curtailed, although not completely wiped out. I'll still have wine with dinner at night, and probably a fruity drink or two while lounging by the pool, but that's probably about it. I'm really not supposed to be drinking at all right now, so I'm pretty much on the wagon until then. Same with smoking my pipe and cigars--none until the cruise.

I'll also probably have dessert once or twice that week, too, which is something I've completely abandoned since I got sick. The doctors and the nutritionist said it would be ok to splurge a little by then and enjoy myself, but the truth is, my 'splurging' is going to be limited. I know I won't be able to drink much, and of course my appetite has changed completely, so it's not like I'm going to go nuts.

Due to my lack of strength, I won't be able to go snorkeling at all, something I always look forward to. There is just no way on earth I'd be able to pull myself up a ladder at the stern of a sailboat from out the water, so that activity is off the agenda. I was also thinking about spending a few hours doing some sailing on an America's Cup yacht down in St. Martin, but that is too strenuous of an activity, too. So that won't be happening either. I'm pretty much consigned to lounging on the beach, which ain't such a bad thing in the overall vacation scheme.

I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing in St. Lucia, but on St. Kitts I'm going with Sherry and Steve to some resort for the day and hanging out at the private beach club there. While we're in St. Martin, Reverend Dave and I are going to taxi over to the French side of the island and do some shopping, then we're going to spend some time at the beach at the end of the runway, taking our own set of ridiculous pictures of the planes arriving.

Other than that, I'm all about the relaxation and enjoying the sun and salt air. Amy & Scottie, Tim & Cyndi, Reverend Dave, and my buddy Gaines & I have four staterooms all in a row, all with balconies. We've found out that the dividers between each balcony can be removed, so we're going to have one big long balcony to lounge on once we get settled in on the first day (Sherry and Steve have a big corner suite on another deck, and Mamasan and her friend Mary are staying down in steerage with the goats, chickens, and Irishmen--actually, they have an oceanview stateroom, just without a balcony, that's all).

I don't have any desire whatsoever to utilize the casino on the boat or even the ones I had so much luck in on St. Martin back in 2001. I'm just over it, although Sherry wants me to give her some craps lessons and play with her. So I'm sure I might be found in the casino at some point, but due to current circumstances, my bankroll is extremely limited, so even if I wanted to spend my evenings onboard playing dice and blackjack, I wouldn't be able to afford to.

That's ok--I'll take in more of the shows and entertainment on the ship at night, and of course my traveling companions are all lots of fun to hang out with, and we usually make our own good times no matter what we're doing. That being said, I'm really looking forward to hanging out with my brothers in the evening, smoking some fine Cuban cigars and watching the ocean roll by.

Less than four weeks away... It can't get here soon enough!

Mikey

Hump Day Update, and Photos!

2010-09-29T08:48:00.001-05:00

Good morning everyone! I'm feeling pretty good this morning, and I think it has to do with the fact that I finally quit 'fighting' my medication and got some real sleep. I've always been reluctant to take medicine, and when I was in the hospital I got a stern talking-to from the nurses in the ICU because I'd never ask for pain medicine, and then one morning I woke up in extreme discomfort and they got after me for trying to be, in their words, 'a tough guy'. After that, they hooked me up to the I.V. pain medication with the little thumb-activated thingy so that I could get relief whenever I needed it, so I took advantage of that for a few days. Since that little episode I've been taking the pain medication regularly and it's helped a lot.

On the other hand, it makes me very sleepy, and I hate that. I would doze off constantly, and since I didn't like that, I'd fight it and try to stay awake all the time and it seemed like I've been in a constant fog and just out of it during the day. Yesterday, I think it came to a head.

My brother Tim was up here in the area to do a quick job on one of the houses he's working on (he owns a remodeling business), and so he stopped by to pick me up so we could go to lunch together. I'm quickly becoming a huge fan of Brew House 100, which is just down the road from Amy and Scottie's place, so we went there to eat. They had an awesome Mahi-Mahi and shrimp sandwich as their daily special, and since grilled fish is right at the top of the Mikey-can-have list, that's what we ordered (and it was damn good, too!). After lunch, I went with him over to the jobsite with him because he said it would just be a quick stop, and it was a nice day and I felt like it would be good to get out of the house anyways.

So while he was doing his thing, I wandered around outside for a bit, but after just a few minutes, I had to sit down--I felt like I was going to pass out. Not like a sickly passing out, more like I just needed a nap RIGHT NOW. So I got in the truck, leaned back, and dozed for a bit in the sunshine while I waited for Tim to finish up.

Once he got done in the house, he drove me back home and dropped me off. As soon as I got back here, I immediately went to bed and fell asleep, hard. Of course, my phone kept ringing, Amy and Mamasan called a couple times to tell me random stuff, but I know it was a guise to check up on me. I have no idea what we talked about, but I know that I was completely out of it and probably made no sense at all. I ended up sleeping for almost three hours, and it did me a world of good.

I skipped out completely on our previous plan of going to the dog park when Amy got home from work that evening, and she was concerned that I was getting sick or something, but it turned out that all I needed was some intense rest. It made all the difference in the world.

While she was out, she picked up some Chinese take-out, and although the egg roll and sweet-n-sour pork might not have been the ideal choice, I did better with lo mein and veggie fried rice. But a long nap and a good meal made it much easier to take my twice-daily handful of pills, and I felt much better after that. And I got over six hours of uninterrupted sleep later that night, too, which made the pain medication that much more effective. I guess the lesson to be learned here is that I shouldn't fight the medicine--if I'm tired, I'm going to bed, no use trying to stay awake for no good reason. Sleep, exercise, and good food are the recipe for getting better, but sometimes the stubborn part of me needs to learn lessons the hard way before they stick.

Anyhow, like I said, I'm feeling much better today. I woke up before the alarm so that I could make a pot of good coffee for Amy & Scottie before they headed off to work (I gotta earn my keep around here), and now I'm just enjoying a pleasant Tennessee morning. I have no place I have to go today, no urgent chores I have to take care of, no calls to make, and nobody to meet up with all day. I get to relax. It's only about 60 degrees outside, but it's sunny, and once I get some breakfast in me and take my meds, I'm gonna go for my morning walk.

Today I'm going to expand my walking horizon and leave the backyard and cul-de-sac, because due to the miracle of Google Earth, I found out that there is a nice out-of-the-way dead-end street just a block away from here, and I think it's close to a half-mile or so if I walk the entire way out and back. Actually, it may be longer than that, but I think I'm up to it. I'm taking my walking stick for support (it's amazing how much it helps), and I'll have my cell phone with me in case I overdo it, but the trick is figuring out where halfway to my absolute limit is, and then turning around at that point and coming back home.

It would be fun to take the pugs with me, but they are much too curious and playful to be good 'walking' dogs. Oh, they love to walk, but I can't handle both of them on the leash at the same time, they get tangled up all the time and walking becomes a chore. So I'm going to leave them here at the house and go solo.

Speaking of the pugs, here are a few pictures of them, plus a few other photos from the past week that I want to share:

Here's a close-up of Bertha and Lord Vader. Cute aren't they?

And while they love to take over the old couch in the den, they much prefer to sleep on people instead of furniture. I took this photo on Saturday when Reverend Dave was here. I think we were watching the Alabama/Arkansas game at the time, but the puglets were using him as a bed.

Berth's little underbite grill just cracks everybody up. Also, she feels like she must sleep right up under your chin all the time, so she's always up in your face. And since my blood thinners make me bruise easily, I have several paw-sized bruises all over my chest and stomach this week from where she walks on me when I'm dozing in the chair.

This pic is of me and the siblings. Well, five out of the six of us--Nancy wasn't here this past weekend (she's in Texas). We were celebrating Sherry's 50th birthday and had a big family gathering on Saturday night. That's Mikey, Cyndi, Amy, Sherry, and David.

Me and my brothers! Reverend Dave, Scottie, Mikey, Tim, and Steve. I really like this pic, and we're a good looking crew, if I do say so myself...

Anyhow, that's the news from here today. It's a beautiful morning outside and I feel good. Time to take my drugs and eat some breakfast, then get to enjoying the rest of the day...

Y'all have a good one!

Mikey

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